by Amy Braun
Someone walked up to my side. I looked at my sister. She was completely under the forest’s spell.
“Did you see that?” she said, smiling blissfully. “I’ve never had a flower bloom under my touch before.”
“Yeah, it was pretty,” I muttered. I turned the bottle of heavenfire over in my hands a couple times. There had to be another way to close the Gate. Didn’t there?
No. Gabriel would have said so.
I sighed. “Dro...”
“I know, Con. I can see all the power here, and I know that everything I’m seeing and feeling about it is just an illusion,” she replied sadly.
I met her eyes over my shoulder. The grief was back, and I instantly regretted saying anything. Still, my sister managed a weak smile.
“At least I’ll have one good memory to hang onto.”
Leave it to Dro to see the bright side of anything.
She touched my arm before turning to grab her boyfriend. I held my breath and tucked the heavenfire back in my lucky jacket. I shoved my hands in the front pockets of my jeans and started forward again.
I led the group for what must have been an hour. I kept my eyes on the ground and tried to ignore everything around me.
It was impossible.
There were no words to accurately describe how this forest made me feel. The air was warm and relaxing. Every smell was clean and sweet. A lazy wind made the leaves rustle softly in the breeze. I wanted to touch everything I saw. I could have walked here for hours, making myself get lost so I could see it all.
I didn’t stop walking until I heard a flowing river. I pushed aside some heavy fern branches and walked down a slope to the riverbed.
The water moved quickly against moss covered boulders. The water was sky blue, white rapids crashing against the rocks. It smelled crisp and natural. I wouldn’t try and swim in the rapids since I couldn’t see the bottom of the river, but I was willing to bet the water was soothingly warm. I felt the rest of the group come up behind me.
“The rocks are too far apart,” Dro said. “We can’t get across this way.”
“There’s a fallen tree over here,” Warrick called from our left.
He was standing by a huge tree trunk that had collapsed naturally across the river. It wasn’t as mossy as the rest of the trees, but it looked sturdy enough to support our weight. Dro and Max started walking toward him. I looked over my shoulder at Sephiel.
The angel was crouched by the edge of the water. He dipped his hand in it, letting the water flow through his fingers.
“Seph? Are you okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “I am beginning to recollect my memories of this place. It is more beautiful than I remembered.”
I guiltily thought about the heavenfire in my pocket. We were going to destroy the door to Sephiel’s home. This was the last time he would ever see it.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be here.”
The blue-eyed angel looked at me, standing up slowly.
“You remember what we’re doing, right? We can’t take it back when it’s done.”
Sephiel’s eyes were heavy with sorrow. “I have not forgotten our quest, Constance. Gabriel was not deceiving us when he said this was the only way to close the Gate to Lucifer. I shall mourn for the Heaven Gate and my fallen brothers. But I shall keep my priorities in line.”
Sephiel inclined his head, then walked after the rest of the group. I tried to say something else to him, but nothing came to mind. I stared at the water as it flowed by, suddenly compelled to touch it. I knew it would feel like no other water in the world. I wanted it to slip through my fingers. I wanted to be reckless and jump into the river, letting it carry me to wherever it was going.
“Constance!”
I snapped out of my trance and looked over my shoulder. Warrick was still waiting at the edge of the tree. Sephiel was striding toward him. Max was about halfway across, and Dro was watching me from the top of the makeshift bridge. I started walking for them.
By the time I reached the fallen tree, Max and Dro were across. Sephiel was about halfway over the bridge. I frowned at the tree trunk. It was about a head taller than I was. I wasn’t a short woman, but it would be a challenge to get up to the top.
“Need a lift?”
I looked at Warrick. Even when he was smug, he looked gorgeous.
“No,” I told him stubbornly.
I jumped for the top of the trunk. My fingers and boots scraped along the moss and bark, but I couldn’t get traction. I could feel myself slipping, until hands cupped themselves under my feet and pushed me higher. I crawled onto the top of the tree trunk, getting into a crouch. No one else seemed to have noticed my clumsiness, but I didn’t know for sure. I looked down at Warrick, who was grinning from the ground. I narrowed my eyes.
“Don’t say a word.”
He laughed, drawing an ‘X’ over his chest. “Cross my heart.”
Warrick stepped back and jumped for the trunk. He was taller than me, so he didn’t need anyone to boost him. Still, I helped pull him up until we were both standing. He didn’t let go of me once he was on the trunk. His hands were warm and gentle as they slid up my arms to my biceps.
A ray of sunlight filtered through Warrick’s short, oak-colored hair, tracing over his face and sinking into his eyes. I tried to tell myself that I was dreaming, but my heart was beating too fast. His neon green eyes pierced my dark ones, like he could see and comprehend everything I was trying to keep locked away. He started leaning in slowly, drowning me in his comfortable pine scent.
I turned my head, letting him slip into my hair. My heart screamed at me, but I told it to shut up. The magic here was made of dreams. It was all illusion. Whatever was between Warrick and me was being enhanced because of it.
Liar.
I told myself to shut up again, then pulled out of Warrick’s arms. The air was warm, but I still felt cold. I kept my eyes down so I wouldn’t have to see any frustration or hurt on his face.
“We should keep going,” I muttered.
He waited, hoping I would say something else. When I didn’t, he sighed heavily. “Then lead the way.”
I turned and started walking over the tree trunk. I concentrated on where I was stepping, even though the tree trunk was secure and there was no way I could fall off. I watched the blue river water flowing under it. The sight didn’t make me dizzy. It made me want to leap in the water all over again. But it turned out I was excellent at resisting the things I wanted.
I jumped off the edge of the tree trunk when I reached the other side, bending my knees to catch my fall. I walked through the clearing where the rest of the group was waiting, hearing Warrick land on the ground behind me.
We kept wandering through the trees, our senses drowning in its beauty. The deeper we went, the more perfect everything seemed. The amount of love and care the angels had put into creating the Heaven Gate was unbelievable.
The overgrown grass mixed with ferns and softly brushed my shins. Old, strong trees stood proudly, stretching on for miles. Warm pockets of sunlight illuminated every leaf. A warm breeze lifted the hair on either side of my face, kissing my skin. I smelled musky oak and sweet tree sap. I was ready to fall onto my back and lie in a bed of grass, staring at the treetops and forgetting everything else. I reached into my jacket and touched the heavenfire. It was the only reminder that could keep me anchored to the reality of what had to be done.
“We’re almost there,” Dro said. “I can feel it.” She stopped. “There’s something else.”
My hand went to my hatchet. I walked briskly until I was beside her. “Something that’s going to try to kill us?”
“No,” she said, scanning the thick forest with confused blue eyes. “Whatever it is, it’s not evil. It’s almost, lonely...”
Dro trailed off, then turned her head to the trees on the left.
Someone was standing in them.
She was about twelve feet away from us, and I could see that she was stunning. She was
a few years older than me, probably in her early thirties. Thick, dark brown hair touched her shoulders in light waves. She was wearing a dark green T-shirt and beige jeans. A stunning smile came across her pink lips. Her eyes were a brilliant, bright green. A color that belonged to only one other person I knew.
“Emma?” Warrick said from the back of the group.
His big sister smiled even wider, looking radiant.
“No,” breathed Dro.
Warrick never heard her. He started went directly to Emma, as if he couldn’t believe she was here.
Because she isn’t. She’s dead.
But when I blinked, she was still standing there, looking as real as my own hand. When Warrick hugged her, she hugged him back.
Something was very, very wrong.
I turned to Sephiel. “What is this?”
The auburn haired angel wasn’t looking at me. He was staring at something north of him. I moved around Max to see what he was focused on.
The most beautiful woman I’d ever seen was standing next to a tall pine tree. She was dressed in a long, white trench coat, white pants, and a white shirt that showed her perfect frame. Her skin was pale and flawless, glowing under the sunlight. Smooth blonde hair was falling out of a loose bun at the nape of her neck. Her face was kind and soft, her flower shaped lips forming an incredible, tender smile. Icy blue eyes glistened as she looked at Sephiel.
He was walking toward her before Dro could stop him. He said something in angel-tongue so I couldn’t understand him, though I did catch the only word that mattered.
“Everiel.”
Sephiel held her, brushing his fingers over her cheek and whispering things I didn’t hear. Like Warrick, he couldn’t believe that he was with her again. Like Warrick, he couldn’t remember that she was dead.
Max’s hitched breath had me turning to the right. I followed his line of sight, and found myself looking at Manny.
He looked exactly the way I remembered him. A gentle, weathered face, dark grey hair with patches of white at his temples. He had the same eyes, lips and nose that Max did. Manny was wearing the same grey sweater and black dress pants he’d worn the day he was shot, except there were no bloodstains on them.
Max took off like a bullet from a gun, not stopping until he was in front of his father, hugging him like he would never let go. Manny’s chuckle sounded as real as it had when he was alive, patting his son on the back. A loving smile filled his face. He’d found the piece of him that he was missing so much. Manny slowly opened his eyes, and looked at me.
My heart strained, a knife of sadness cutting through it again. I’d never forgotten Manny, but I forgot how much it hurt to know he was gone. He was my mentor and one of my only friends, a good, honest person who deserved to be alive. He’d sheltered us, trained us, and treated us like family. Seeing him now was a sweet poison filling my chest.
I tore my gaze away from Manny’s comforting smile and looked at my sister. “Dro, what is this?” My voice was shaking more than I wanted it to.
She was close to tears. She took a deep breath. “This is the magic of the Heaven Gate,” she whispered. “This is what protects it. People will see the beauty of the forest, but they’ll also see the people they love the most, and keep them from going any further.”
While she was explaining it to me, I noticed two people over her shoulder. A man and a woman holding hands. She was a kind looking woman with gold skin, curly black hair, and loving eyes. He was tall and strong with the same tanned skin, short dark hair, and strong dark eyes. They smiled when they saw me. My breath couldn’t catch up to my heart.
I started to move past Dro. She grabbed my wrist and yanked me to a stop. Her eyes were desperate.
“Don’t Connie,” she begged. “Please, don’t.”
“But it’s Mom and Dad,” I pleaded, sounding like a child.
Dro shook her head, tears building in her eyes. “No. It isn’t.”
I stared at her. “How can you say that?” I said, shocked. “Don’t you see them?”
“Of course I see them,” she replied sadly as a single tear slipped down her cheek. “But I can see further than that, because I’m part demon. I’m Lucifer’s daughter, and I can see the layer of illusion over all of them.”
Dro squeezed my hand tighter. “They’re not real, Connie. None of them are.”
I looked back again. My parents smiled at me. Mom held out her hand. Dad’s eyes were filled with pride.
All my old wounds seemed to rip open at once. It was so sudden and so fierce I thought I was tearing in half. My heart seemed to fall out of my chest, leaving me with a dull, hollow ache. Tears pricked my eyes. My breath caught.
I missed them so fucking much.
Dro pulled me back and put her arms around me. She hugged me tight, the same way she had after I took my first life. When I was breaking down after Mateo’s gunshot. Every time she thought I was going to die.
I hugged her back, desperate not to fall apart. The pain was more than I could bear. I knew Mom and Dad were gone and were never coming back. I missed them, but I had let them go. Except they were here now, wanting to see me. They wanted to talk to me, listen to the stories of my life, catch up on all the years they missed.
I fastened my arms around Dro with more pressure than I should have, but I needed to know she was here. I needed to know I wasn’t losing myself to memories and false dreams. Dro didn’t protest or cry out. She let me crush her to my chest. Maybe she needed the same assurances I did. I took a deep breath, trying to drag myself out of the misery I had fallen into. Sweet smelling hair tickled my face.
Dro was the real thing in my life. She wasn’t an illusion. She was here, keeping me secure the way she always did.
“Can you make it stop?” I whispered into her hair.
Dro stiffened, then nodded. She pulled back from me, squeezing my arm. I fixed my eyes to the lush, green ground as she walked behind me and touched the back of my head. It felt like someone was peeling a thin layer off my mind. Everything seemed clearer, and I could no longer feel my parents eyes on my back. Once her touch was gone, I turned around. The clearing was empty. My parents were gone. A fierce blow of heartache hit my chest. I compressed my lips and shoved my hand into my jacket and clutched the heavenfire.
It didn’t take away the pain, but it distracted me from the sadness in Dro’s voice as she explained to Max that Manny wasn’t really there, that Sephiel wasn’t really holding Everiel, and that Warrick wasn’t really talking with Emma.
I don’t know how she was able to do it. I would never have found the strength to. We were all suffering from the same sickness. We’d lost people we loved, and would do anything to have back. Dro didn’t want to make us endure this cruel, heart-wrenching agony, but the more we gave in, the more lost we would become. She was trying to save us, and that meant she had to hurt us.
I finally lifted my head, turning around and seeing Dro kneeling behind Sephiel. She had her arms wrapped around his back, hugging him to her chest. There was no other angel beside them.
There was a quiet sniffling on my right. I looked at Max, who had his back to me. There were only trees in front of him now. I could see him rubbing his eyes. I took a step forward and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned around and threw his arms over my neck. He was hurting too much to care that I wasn’t Dro. I rubbed his back, letting him sob into my shoulder. I missed his dad too, but nowhere near as much as Max did.
After a minute, he pulled back and wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Sorry. Wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“It’s okay,” I said honestly.
I wanted to tell him that I understood, that I wanted Manny back too, that at least we knew he was in Heaven, but all it would do was cause him more pain.
Instead, I said, “Dro’s over there with Sephiel.”
Max nodded and started walking toward his girlfriend and the brokenhearted angel. I let him pass before turning around and walking back into the clearing. Warrick w
as still standing in the same place, staring at the vacant trees ahead. I made my way over to him. He heard me coming and faced me.
He looked like a man who had seen a glimmer of hope before reality smothered it. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I couldn’t even tell him that my heart was breaking for him.
Warrick’s bright green eyes met mine. They were a little redder than before. He almost looked relieved that I was there, and that I wasn’t a dream. But it didn’t take away his pain. He took a step closer, and this time I didn’t back away. Warrick lowered his head until his forehead touched mine.
“I fucking hate this,” he whispered. “All of it.”
“We’ll be out of here soon,” I said quietly.
He nodded. Then Warrick’s fingers brushed along my cheek, gently grazing down my face until they reached my chin. Then his hand dropped and he lifted his eyes. He looked hopeless and beaten.
“Just for once, I wish I could have what I wanted instead of always dreaming about it.”
My heart nearly burst when he said that, but I didn’t know what to do. If I let him get closer, would it be because I wanted him, or because the magic here pushed me to want him?
He didn’t give me the chance to find out. He took another deep breath, then walked toward the rest of the group. I watched his back with longing eyes, soon turning my gaze on the rest of the group. They were back together, silent and mourning. They had all lost their loved ones all over again, and my sister had forced them back into reality when I knew it destroyed her to do so.
For the first time since we arrived here, I wanted to burn the forest to the ground.
Chapter 16
No one spoke as Dro and Sephiel led us through the forest, guided by a magic I couldn’t feel. We didn’t see the visions again, either because Dro’s powers were shielding us from them, or because the Heaven Gate didn’t feel like tormenting us again.
