Copyright (C) 2021 Kandi Steiner
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without prior written consent of the author except where permitted by law.
The characters and events depicted in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Published by Kandi Steiner
Edited by Elaine York, Allusion Publishing
Cover Design by Kandi Steiner
Formatting by Elaine York, Allusion Publishing
Episode One
Jess
Cassie
Bear
Jess
Cassie
Bear
Episode Two
Erin
Ashlei
Skyler
Adam
Erin
Ashlei
Skyler
Adam
Episode Three
Jess
Ashlei
Bear
Skyler
Jess
Ashlei
Bear
Episode Four
Erin
Ashlei
Skyler
Adam
Bear
Cassie
Jess
Episode Five
Jess
Erin
Bear
Jess
Ashlei
Bear
Episode Six
Ashlei
Erin
Jess
Bear
Adam
Skyler
Cassie
To Be Continued...
A Note from the Author
On the Rocks - Chapter One
On the Rocks - Chapter Two
More from Kandi Steiner
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Hazed picks up right where Ritual left off. As this book is part of a series, you will need to read the other books in the series before beginning this one:
Rush, PSU #1
Anchor, PSU #2
Pledge, PSU #3
Legacy, PSU #4
Ritual, PSU #5
Welcome back to PSU… ;)
Tweet as you read using #PalmSouth and join the Facebook discussion group here.
I AM AT A whole new level of Hot Mess Express.
Of course, I’m no stranger to this state of being. I’ve been the caboose of that train, the engine, the dozen or so carts in-between. But this? This is another train altogether. No, this is a jet plane of hot mess. Or perhaps even a spaceship.
And still, I’d rather sit in this steaming pile of mess than face everything plaguing me head on.
I wonder if this is part of becoming an “adult.” You graduate from college, move off campus, and instead of actually having your shit together with a badass job and a hot ass fiancé and whatever else you thought would happen, you just end up an even more frazzled version of who you were a month ago when you were still a college student.
From the outside looking in, the unknowing bystander would likely take one look at me and think, “Wow, she’s really got it together.” After all, my dad hooked me, Lei, and Erin up with a bougie condo in downtown Miami overlooking the beach, with floor-to-ceiling windows that make me feel like an absolute boss, even if it is being paid for with Daddy’s money. His deal was simple — I’ll float you the first year while you figure out what comes next.
Seems simple enough. A fair and generous trade.
Except I don’t exactly know what I’m going to do now that I’ve graduated.
I have the degree. I have the internship under my belt and the coursework fresh in my head and all the desire and passion it takes to be a wedding planner.
And still, not a single company has called me in for an interview.
It will just take time, Lei assures me daily. That’s easy for her to say. The bitch not only got hired on at Okay, Cool after one semester of interning, but promptly got a dozen job offers the second she was let go.
Well, at least I have it going on in the boyfriend department, right? Kade Brewer is everything every girl dreams of — hilarious, smart, driven, incredibly hot, and, thanks in large part to my training, an absolute god in the bedroom.
The problem?
I’ve barely talked to, let alone seen, him since we both left campus in December.
It’s been four weeks, and bless the sweet man, he’s given me my space. He understood when I said I just wanted to spend time with my family after graduation. He understood when I said I just needed some time to get the new place set up with the girls. He understood when I said I just needed time to focus on job applications.
I make an excuse, he says no problem.
The asshole.
If only he were demanding I face him, maybe I could be mad at him. Maybe I could blame all my icky feelings and this state I’ve found myself in on him.
Maybe I could admit the fact that the real reason I’ve been hiding away is because his big brother is the first man I ever loved, and he just swung back into my life like a wrecking ball.
God, just the thought of that horrid event has me groaning and covering my head with my covers again.
Yes, it’s ten past noon and I’m still in bed. Don’t come for me.
When the darkness covers me, it’s easy to go back to that day. It was my last Kappa Kappa Beta chapter. Erin passed the torch down to Skyler and we were all ready to go party at Ralph’s. I was ready to ditch it altogether in favor of doing extremely dirty things to Kade.
Until we got to where he’d parked his car at the Alpha Sigma house and I’d found Jarrett leaning up against it.
Jarret fucking Locke.
That bald, tattooed, beautiful bastard was the absolute last person I expected to see, and when he called Kade “brother,” I passed out.
Literally, blacked out and hit the concrete.
I guess it was my body’s defense mechanism. Hurry, knock the bitch out so she doesn’t have to deal with this!
And here we are, a month later, and I’m still living that motto.
In all fairness, I really did take the holiday break to spend time with my family, and I really have been setting up in the new place and job searching.
Did I really need to blow my boyfriend off in the process? No.
But this is my M.O. When something hurts or is confusing, I run from it.
Clearly, I haven’t stepped into adulthood quite yet.
My phone buzzes incessantly, keeping me from slipping into my second nap for the day. When I glance at the screen, I see Front Desk on the caller ID.
“Good afternoon, Miss Vonnegut,” Herb says. He’s one of the associates who mans the front desk area in the lobby, signing for packages and letting us know when we have guests.
“Afternoon, Herb,” I reply with a fake British accent. I don’t really know how it started, but when I met him, I pretended to be British after he greeted me so formally. I’m ninety percent sure he doesn’t think I’m actually British, but it’s still fun to keep up the façade.
“A Mr. Kade Brewer is here for you. Shall I send him up?”
My eyes bulge out of the sockets as I throw the covers off and jump out of bed. “Uh,” I say, taking one look at myself in the mirror before promptly cringing. “Can you give me five minutes?”
I don’t use the accent.
Damn it, my image is ruin
ed.
“How about ten?”
“You’re my favorite, Herb.”
He chuckles before ending the call, and I promptly grab a brush and comb through my tangled mess of hair. Once it’s secured in a high ponytail, I strip off my sweats and throw on leggings and a sports bra, as if I was doing something active or have plans to. A bit of mascara and tinted moisturizer later, and I’m satisfied.
When I’m looking slightly less hellish, I survey my room, picking up the loose articles of clothing and tossing them in my closet before I haphazardly make my bed. It’s not perfect, but not half-bad when two loud knocks sound at the front door.
My feet feel like lead as I drag them down the hall. My room is the last one at the very end, with Erin and Ashlei’s framing up either side. My dad was an absolute gem to understand that we’d not only need our own bedrooms, but our own bathrooms, too. And the living area is one giant room where the kitchen, dining room, and sitting area sit as one.
My favorite part of the entire condo is the gas fireplace that serves as a sort of centerpiece under the television and in front of the giant white couch the girls and I picked out together. It’s actually cold today — well, cold for Florida, anyway, at a brisk fifty-seven degrees — and so the fireplace crackles softly as I pass it on my way to the front door.
Steeling a breath, I force a smile and open it, launching myself into Kade’s arms as soon as I see him.
“Hey, you!” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and inhaling his scent. “What a surprise!”
It’s a show at first, my lame attempt to assure him I’m fine, but the moment I’m in his arms and that familiar scent of eucalyptus that always seems to cling to him finds me, I nearly break. I forgot what it was like to have his beastly biceps holding me close, to feel his hard chest softening just for me, to hear the relieved exhale that always came when he held me.
I swallow down the urge to cry right then and there.
“Hi,” Kade says — cautiously, like I’m a rabid animal head butting him for pets after just trying to bite his arm off the day before. “Uh, yeah, I just… I haven’t heard from you so…” He frowns a little but tries to smile through it. “Thought I’d just pop by.”
God, if the smell of him wasn’t enough to undo me, the sight of him is doing the trick. I’m not sure how it’s possible, but he seems even more ripped than the last time I saw him, his biceps bulging against the sleeves of his olive-green, long-sleeve shirt. That buzzcut he’s always had has grown out a bit, giving him a boyish look; his brown hair now mussed like he’s been dragging his hands through it.
I instantly want to do the same.
“Well, I’m glad you did. Come in,” I say, holding the door open.
Kade walks in with his hands in his pockets, his warm brown eyes scanning the length of the windows. He lets out a whistle. “Well, I’d say this is a step up from the KKB house.”
“All thanks to Daddy. Though, if all goes according to plan, I’m hoping the girls and I will be able to afford this place on our own this time next year.”
“How’s the job hunting going?” Kade asks, looking at the couch like he’s going to sit, but then he doesn’t.
“Good,” I lie, folding my arms over myself across the room from him.
“That’s good.”
We stand there for a long pause, Kade watching me and me watching the floor. Finally, I let out a sigh, lifting my gaze to his. “Kade, I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”
“Ah, there’s the truth.”
I shake my head. “I just… seeing Jarrett… finding out he was your brother,” I add with wide eyes. “It was a lot for me. On top of graduating and moving out and…”
“Hey, I get it,” Kade says, moving a little closer to me. “I figured you needed the space, and I’ve been giving it to you, haven’t I?”
I nod.
“But it’s been a month, Jess. And the last time we talked, you said…” He swallows, and then laughs, shaking his head at himself. “God, I sound like such a pussy.”
“You don’t,” I insist, and I cross the last bit of space between us, sliding my arms around him and clasping my hands behind his back. “I said I wanted to keep dating, that I wanted to see where this was going.”
Kade frowns. “And do you still mean it?”
Something between a laugh and a gasp comes from my lips, and I pull him in closer. “Of course, I do.”
Kade sighs with relief, and it’s like that finally gives him the green light to hold me in return. His arms fold around me, and he drops his forehead to mine. “Thank God. I thought for sure I was walking into a breakup.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” I shake my head. “I’m still… processing. Okay? And I won’t lie, I’m kind of a hot mess right now. But, as long as you’re willing to be patient with me,” I say, lifting my gaze to his. “I still want to be with you.”
“I’ll be the most patient motherfucker who ever lived.”
His lips are on mine in the next breath, hard and demanding, his arms tightening around my waist. Every other thought, every other thing that needs to be discussed is gone in an instant, and I pull him in even more, moaning at the feeling of his kiss after so long.
“God, Jess, I’m already rock hard,” he breathes against my mouth, pulling my hips against his pelvis so I can feel him. “I need to be inside you.”
I gasp as he bites hard on my bottom lip, and then I’m in his arms, being carried blindly across the living room. It’s a good thing Erin and Ashlei aren’t home, because I have full faith we aren’t making it back to my room.
Kade slams my back against one of the windows, dropping my legs to the floor only long enough to forcefully rip my leggings down to my knees. They hold tight there, though, the traitorous bastards, and Kade is so frustrated with waiting that he growls and slips his hand between my thighs instead of trying to work them down more.
The second his fingers slip between my already-wet lips, I arch off the glass and into the touch.
“Fuck,” I groan, and Kade bites and kisses down my neck, sliding his fingers in more until the tips of them tease my entrance.
“There are so many things I want to do to you right now,” he whispers between kisses. “I want you sitting on my face. I want to ram my cock down your throat until you gag.”
A shock zips through me, and I shiver when he grazes my clit.
“I want to take my time tasting every inch of you. But all that will have to wait,” he says, and then he grabs my hips and spins me until my hands flatten against the cool glass. “Because right now,” he whispers against the shell of my ear. “I’m going to fuck you hard and come fast, so you better do the same.”
He grabs my ponytail then, yanking hard until I have no choice but to arch and stay still. I want to moan. I want to say yes. But the way he’s holding me, I can barely breathe, let alone speak.
All I can do is wait.
I wait as he fumbles with his belt. I wait as he works the button and zipper of his jeans with one hand. I wait as he runs his fingers along my ass crack and slips one inside my pussy, just to make sure I’m wet and ready.
As if that was an actual question.
And once he confirms his suspicion, he releases my hair just enough to let me breathe, to let me moan, to let me prepare.
Then, he fills me like a flash flood, wiping everything else away.
The first thrust is to the hilt, and his cock stretches my pussy that’s been empty for the past month in a mixture of pleasure and pain. I gasp at the feel of it, and when he withdraws and slams into me again, I can already feel my orgasm ready to explode.
“Goddamn,” he breathes, slowing his pace. He pulls all the way out, and I know without even turning to look that he’s looking down at where my wetness coats him, at where every inch of him glides in and out of me with ease. “You feel so fucking good.”
“I thought you said you were going to fuck me hard and come fast?”
&nb
sp; A growl rips from Kade’s throat, and then he drops his hold on my hair so that both his hands can grip my hips.
And it’s all I can do to hold onto that glass and keep my knees from giving out.
True to his word, Kade’s thrusts are punishing, his thighs slapping against my ass as he pummels me against the window. And in less than sixty seconds, he pulls out, ripping me around just in time for me to drop to my knees and take his release in my mouth.
It feels like a part of me slipping back into place, watching Kade unleash himself at my mercy. His hands are planted on the window as he grunts his release, his face twisting, and then he’s pulsing and convulsing and doing his best to stay standing, just like I was.
It’s everything I’ve been missing, that connection with Kade.
And now that it’s back, I feel like I am, too.
I’m still wiping the corners of my mouth when Kade picks me up, carrying me through the condo and down the hall with his jeans around his ankles and a promise on his lips to make me come at least three times before dinner.
And he delivers.
We order takeout and stay in the room all night, catching up and watching half a movie before Kade passes out and I get close to doing the same. It’ll be nice, I think to myself, to finally get a good night’s rest.
But when I turn off the TV and curl up next to Kade, sighing at the way it feels to be wrapped up with him, I’m jolted awake just when I’m about to doze off. It’s my phone, buzzing hard and filling my room with light from where it’s plugged in on the nightstand.
I know I shouldn’t check it. Whatever it is, it can wait. But I roll over to put it on do not disturb and freeze at the name on the screen.
Jarrett.
And when I slide my thumb across the screen, it’s a four-word text that delivers me yet another sleepless night.
Can I see you?
“AND OBVIOUSLY, HARVARD — ohhh, yes right there — would be amazing. Especially if I wanted to go into — oh, God — research. But really, I feel like my heart is calling me to Johns Hopkins. Ughhh, this is amazing.”
Hazed: A New Adult College Romance (Palm South University Book 6) Page 1
