“Oh, and I assume you holding onto Natalia while she’s naked is a super important part of making the show so great, huh?”
“I was trying to demonstrate how it happened in real life so Jameson could get the emotion right,” he defends, throwing his hands up. “God, what is it with you and Natalia? She’s a professional, Skyler. We work together and that’s it. You’re being insecure and jealous, and it’s a really bad look if I’m being honest.”
My head snaps back at his words, and I lick my lower lip, tearing my eyes from him and shaking my head with a million thoughts racing through my mind.
The first one being who is this guy and what has he done with my boyfriend?
“Look, I know it’s hard to understand, but this is how it’s always going to be with me. Work is going to be a huge part of my life. I’m going to have days when I’m busy, with filming or producing or whatever.”
“Too busy to remember date nights, I guess, huh?” I ask, looking him in the eyes again. “Should I just get dressed up and be waiting for you to pick me up, and then when you don’t show, laugh it off? ‘Oh! Welp, guess Kip must be busy with his show. Oh well, I’ll just got changed back into sweats now.’”
Kip’s brows furrow together in confusion. “What are you tal—” But he doesn’t finish the question, because in the next moment, his eyes take a slow dive over the length of me, taking in my hair and makeup and dress, and then all the color drains from his face. “Shit. Our anniversary.”
“Yeah, you asshole. Our anniversary.”
He closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose on a breath. “Skyler, I’m sorry. I completely spaced. We ran into an issue with this scene earlier today and I wanted to—”
“Re-film it, yeah, I heard,” I finish for him, shaking my head. “Well, I hope you got the shot.”
With that, I turn and storm down the stairs, ignoring him when he calls my name and attempts to jog after me. I rip off my heels at the bottom of the stairs and take off in a sprint toward the car. As soon as I’m inside, I roar the engine to life and peel out, leaving Kip in my rearview mirror.
And when I hit the highway, I finally break down, succumbing to the first sob that rips through me.
“WELL, LAST SEMESTER, I said if we ever needed each other that we had to promise to meet up right back here,” I say, patting Skyler’s bed. “Looks like we kept our promise.”
Jess snorts. “Yeah. Except I think we all should have been piled together in this thing many other times before now.” Jess, Erin, and Ashlei are leaned up against the headboard, while Skyler is sprawled out in the middle on her back. I’m at the foot of the bed, legs swinging off the edge.
“True,” I agree. “But life gets in the way.”
“I hate that,” Erin says, her little mouth pulling to the side. “I mean, I get how it happens… law school, work, class, boys.”
We all groan at that one.
“But I don’t want us to ever pull too far away from each other.”
“I don’t either,” Ashlei says. “I think in addition to our promise to meet here when things are a mess, we should also make a promise to meet up at least once a month for a girls’ day. Beach, pool, night out on the town, or PJ party, I don’t care.”
“Deal,” Jess says instantly. She nudges Skyler. “Hey, you alive over there?”
Skyler grunts in lieu of an answer, and the rest of us share concerned glances. It seems at the end of every semester, we all find ourselves in different stages of life. Where one of us might be flying high, another has just hit a new low, and this semester is no different.
I sigh, lying myself down over my Big and cuddling her. “It’s going to be alright. Kip loves you. You love him. That’s all that matters.”
“I’m glad you’re confident in that, because right now, I’m not sure of anything.” Skyler rolls onto her side. “I’m so mad at him. I haven’t been this mad at him since I found his laptop with that file of stuff his dad had gathered on me.” She shakes her head. “I was blindsided then, and hurt. But this? This is another level.”
“He’s been caught up in the show, babe,” Ashlei says. “He messed up. But he’ll make it right.”
Skyler swallows. “What if he can’t?”
“You’re just upset,” Erin assures her. “Trust me, when the dust settles, it’ll all straighten itself out.”
Skyler nods, falling quiet again, and I know she’s tired of talking about it — especially with everything still fresh and up in the air. So, I pat her butt and turn the conversation to Jess. “What about you? What are you going to do about this little family affair you’ve found yourself in?”
She huffs, reaching over for the fruit snacks on Skyler’s bedside table. She pops three in her mouth before she answers. “I have no fucking idea. If I thought Jarrett showing up last semester was a shock, it’s nothing compared to him beating down my door and confessing that he still loves me.”
“What about Kade?” Ashlei asks.
“He’s pissed,” Jess says. “Reasonably so. But… I think more than anything, he’s scared. He knows Jarrett and I have a history. And now that he’s the new president of Alpha Sigma, he also knows he’s going to be busy. I think a part of him worries he’s already lost the fight.”
“Or maybe he doesn’t think he should have to fight at all,” Skyler pipes up.
“True.” Jess sighs. “I don’t know, guys. This might be the most selfish thing I have ever admitted, but… I love them both.”
“But you can’t have them both,” I remind her.
“I know.” She shakes her head, popping another fruit snack in her mouth. “No matter what I decide, I’m going to hurt one of them. And I’m going to hurt myself in the process, too.”
“What are you going to do now?” Erin asks.
“Cry,” Jess answers on a laugh. “I told both of them I wanted to take the summer to be alone. I just started this job and I need to focus on that, especially with so many weddings coming up. My career means a lot to me, and I don’t want to fuck it up because I’m caught up in a love triangle.” She swallows. “Besides, maybe some room to clear my head and think is what I need.”
“Think you’ll have some sort of epiphany?” I ask.
“Or mental breakdown, both of which would be helpful, I think.”
We all share sympathetic smiles before Ashlei reaches over and pats her leg. “I think it will work out. And for the record, I’m Team Whoever-Makes-Jess-Happiest.”
“Me, too,” Erin says. “And Lei, I’m really happy for you and Brandon. I’m so glad the breakup didn’t last.”
“God, so am I,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m not sure how either of us survived. But I will admit, it was kind of thrilling to do the whole cat and mouse thing again.”
I laugh. “You’re a masochist.”
She shrugs, but throws me a wink because she knows it, too.
“Now you’re moving in with your boyfriend while mine moves across the country,” I say with a sigh I know is nothing short of envious. “How the tides have turned.”
“I’m not even a little worried about you and Adam,” Erin says. “The two of you are more solid than anyone I know. And I saw the video Skyler took of you being lavaliered.” She shakes her head. “That boy is yours forever, whether you like it or not.”
“Long distance isn’t so bad either,” Jess chimes in. “The video sex is hot.”
“True,” Skyler chimes in again, still lying back looking up at the ceiling when she points a finger at Jess.
I chuckle. “I’m just excited for the summer together. It’ll be fun exploring Boston.” I tap Erin’s foot, then. “And ahem, missy, I think you have some explaining to do. You and Bear?”
“Surprised, huh?” she asks on a laugh.
“Shocked,” I answer, Ashlei and Skyler nodding in agreement.
“Not me,” Jess says. “I had a feeling. He’s always looked at you with this very specific stare.”
“And wha
t stare is that?” Erin asks.
Jess shrugs. “Like he’s two seconds away from either strangling you or ripping your clothes off. Maybe both.”
“Oh, my God, J-Love,” Erin says, hitting Jess with a pillow.
Jess just hugs it to her chest and sticks her tongue out.
“We’ve been through a lot together,” Erin says after the laughter dies down, and then she frowns, folding her hands together in her lap. “Bear has been there for me through some of the hardest times of my life. The way I feel about him… I always thought it was just this deep friendship, but I think I’ve loved him all along. Ever since he took me to semi-formal three years ago.” She smiles. “Maybe even before that.”
“You’re lucky to be loved by him,” Skyler says, leaning up on her palms to look at Erin when she says the words. “And if you hurt him, I’ll hurt you. And don’t worry, I gave him the same warning.”
Erin chuckles. “I’ll do my best.” Then, she blows out a slow breath, everything in her demeanor changing as she sits up a little straighter. “I need to tell you all something. Actually, several somethings.” She pauses. “But this is going to be really hard for me to say.”
The girls and I share looks, but don’t say a word, giving Erin the space she needs to process whatever it is.
“I know I’ve hurt you. All of you. In one way or another. And last semester, I told you I was getting better, that therapy was helping. And it is. I’ve come a long way.” She swallows, picking the nail polish off her nails. “Part of my recovery is leaning on the people I love and trust and letting them in. So… here goes nothing.”
She stills another breath, looks each of us in the eyes, and then pours out her heart.
For nearly a half hour, she tells us everything she’s been hiding, everything she’s been bearing the weight of all on her own for years now. She tells us about the one-night stand with Bear, the pregnancy, the clinic, the impossible choice. She tells us about how dark that time was for her, and then she was betrayed in the worst way, violated by a group of fraternity boys by way of a date-rape drug.
We all started crying, then.
The tears continued as she walked us through the horrors of recovering from that, the way her mother had told her to essentially suck it up and power on, and why she made the incredibly difficult choice not to report the assault.
And through it all, Bear was there for her.
Even after he found out about her aborting their baby, it didn’t take him long to forgive her.
I’m not sure I could have done the same in his shoes.
When she finishes telling us everything, including what happened with her and Gavin, too, we all just cover her up in a massive group hug. It’s a chorus of cries and sniffs as we hold her, each of us hurting because of how much she has been hurting.
“I can’t believe you went through all of that alone,” Skyler says. “I’m so sorry, Big.”
“It’s no one’s fault. And I’m on the other side of it now. I just… I wanted to tell all of you. I wanted you to understand why I behaved the way I did. But more than anything, I wanted you all to know how much I love and trust you, and how important you are in my life.”
“We love you, too, Ex,” Ashlei says, squeezing tighter. “So, so much. And we’re always here. Please, whatever happens in the future, don’t ever shoulder it alone again. Lean on us. That’s what we’re here for.”
“I will,” Erin promises.
“Can we turn into a badass hit woman team and kill those douchebags who raped you, though? Because I’ve got some anger to work through and this just amplified it,” Skyler says.
Erin smiles, but shakes her head. “I don’t think killing them would be justice,” she says, and then she heaves a deep breath. “But, maybe, reporting them would.”
We all go still, then.
“Are you thinking of filing a report?” Skyler asks.
“I’m not thinking anymore. I’m doing it. I don’t know all the laws with statutes of limitation, and everything in my gut still tells me that the system won’t work in my favor. But… I owe it not only to myself, but to every other woman out there who has gone through this, too. Maybe I’ll be laughed out of the court. Maybe I’ll be called names. Maybe no one will believe me other than you guys and Bear. Maybe those guys will walk free and go on to live their lives without ever paying for what they did to me.” She shrugs. “All I know is that I have to try. And I finally feel like I’m strong enough.”
Ashlei’s eyes well with big, watery tears, and they shed before she can do anything to stop them. “You’re the strongest person I know, Erin. And we’ve all got your back. We’ll be here every step of the way.”
We hold each other just like that for what feels like hours, no one wanting to move, no one wanting to break the iron chain of support shielding us from the outside world. In the end, boys come and go, but through heartbreaks and breakthroughs, the highest highs and the lowest lows, it’s these girls who are always here.
Who always will be.
As much as our lives shifted after Erin, Ashlei, and Jess graduated, I know there’s even more change to come. We’re all going our separate ways for the summer — some heartbroken, some happier than they’ve ever been — and in the fall, Skyler and I return as the final two of our entire group to finish out our college careers.
After that, Palm South University won’t be our home anymore.
It will be a part of our past.
But one thing I know for sure, the women in this bed will never be. They’ll always be my present and my future, too.
“You ladies are my soulmates,” I whisper after a while.
Jess nods. “It’s us against the world.”
“Always,” Skyler agrees. “No matter what.”
“We’ll never be alone,” Ashlei echoes.
And finally, Erin lifts her head, looking at each of us before she whispers. “Kappa Kappa Beta forever.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
One last semester. One last season. One last book.
The epic series finale is coming this fall.
Pre-Order GREEK, Palm South University #7, now.
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Thank you for reading Hazed. Palm South University has been my passion project for seven years now, and I’m thrilled you have joined me for the journey. I can’t get enough of these characters. Thank you for loving them with me!
If you liked this book, check out my new box set – The Pain in Loving You – where you can read THREE of my angsty all-time bestsellers. You’ll get Weightless, A Love Letter to Whiskey, and Make Me Hate You all in one epic collection.
You might also enjoy my Becker Brothers series, following four rowdy brothers in a small town in Tennessee as they solve the mystery of their father’s death – and find love along the way. Keep reading for a sneak peek inside!
My latest release is Close Quarters, a sexy, angsty billionaire romance set on a yacht in the Mediterranean. If you’re a fan of Brandon Church, this one is right up your alley.
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And again, thank you for picking my book out of the millions you could have selected to read. I truly appreciate it.
Noah
When you hear the word Tennessee, what do you think of?
Maybe your first thought is country music. Maybe you can even see those bright lights of Nashville, hear the different bands as their sounds pour out of the bars and mingl
e in a symphony in the streets. Maybe you think of Elvis, of Graceland, of Dollywood and countless other musical landmarks. Maybe you feel the prestige of the Grand Ole Opry, or the wonder of the Country Music Hall of Fame. Maybe you feel the history radiating off Beale Street in Memphis.
Or maybe you think of the Great Smoky Mountains, of fresh air and hiking, of majestic sights and long weekends in cabins. Maybe you can close your eyes and see the tips of those mountains capped in white, can hear the call of the Tennessee Warbler, can smell the fresh pine and oak.
Maybe, when you think of Tennessee, all of this and more comes to mind.
But for me, it only conjured up one, two-syllable word.
Whiskey.
I saw the amber liquid gold every time I closed my eyes. I smelled its oaky finish with each breath I took. My taste buds were trained at a young age to detect every slight note within the bottle, and my heart was trained to love whiskey long before it ever learned how to love a woman.
Tennessee whiskey was a part of me. It was in my blood. I was born and raised on it, and at twenty-eight, it was no surprise to me that I was now part of the team that bred and raised the most famous Tennessee whiskey in the world.
It was always in the cards for me. And it was all I ever wanted.
At least, that’s what I thought.
Until the day Ruby Grace came back into town.
My ears were plugged with bright, neon orange sponges, but I could still hear Chris Stapleton’s raspy voice crooning behind the loud clamor of machines. I wiped sweat from my brow as I clamped the metal ring down on another whiskey barrel, sending it on down the line before beginning on the next one. Summer was just weeks away, and the distillery swelled with the Tennessee heat.
Being a barrel raiser at the Scooter Whiskey Distillery was a privilege. There were only four of us, a close-knit team, and we were paid well for doing a job they hadn’t figured out how to train machines to do yet. Each barrel was hand-crafted, and I raised hundreds of them every single day. Our barrels were part of what made our whiskey so recognizable, part of what made our process so unique, and part of what made Scooter a household name.
Hazed: A New Adult College Romance (Palm South University Book 6) Page 25
