‘Really!’
‘I think so.’ Louise nodded. ‘He discussed egg sharing, which would mean I’ll get a round of IVF free …’
‘You don’t feel funny about egg sharing?’ Emily asked, just as Anton walked in.
‘God, no,’ Louise said, happy to chat on. ‘I’d love to be able to help another woman to get her baby. It would be a win-win situation. I think egg sharing is a wonderful thing.’
She glanced over as Anton pulled out the BP cuff.
‘I’ve done Emily’s blood pressure,’ Louise said.
‘I’m just checking it for myself.’
Louise gritted her jaw. He did this all the time, all the time, even more so than before, and though it infuriated Louise she said nothing.
Here wasn’t the place.
‘Everything looks good,’ Anton said to Emily. ‘Twenty-nine weeks and four days now. You are doing really well.’
‘I’m so glad,’ Emily said, ‘but I’m also so …’ Emily didn’t finish. ‘I hate that I’m complaining when I’m so glad that I’m still pregnant.’
‘Of course you are bored and fed up.’ Anton shrugged. ‘Would a shower cheer you up?’
‘Oh, yes.’
‘Just a short one,’ Anton said, ‘sitting on a chair.’
‘Thank you,’ Emily said, but when Anton had gone she looked at Louise. ‘What’s going on with you two?’
‘Nothing,’ Louise said.
‘Nothing?’ Emily checked. ‘Come on, Louise, it’s me. I’m losing my mind here. At least you can tell me what’s going on in the real world.’
‘Maybe a teeny tiny thing has gone on,’ Louise said, ‘but we’re back to him sulking at me now and double-checking everything that I do.’
‘Please, Louise, tell me what has happened between you.’
‘Nope,’ Louise said, but then relented a touch. ‘We got off with each other a smudge but I think the big chill is from my getting IVF.’
‘Well, it wouldn’t be the biggest turn-on.’
‘I guess.’
‘Can you put it off?’
‘I don’t want to put it off,’ Louise said. ‘Then again, I sort of do.’ She was truly confused. ‘God, could you imagine being in a relationship with Anton? He’d be coming home and checking I’d done hospital corners on the bed and things …’
‘He’s nothing like that,’ Emily said.
‘Ah, but you get his hospital bedside manner.’
‘Why not just try?’
‘Because I’ve sworn off relationships, they never work out … I don’t know,’ Louise sighed, and then she looked at her friend and told her the truth. ‘I’m scared to even try.’
‘When’s the maternity do?’ Emily asked.
‘Friday, but I’m on a late shift, so I’ll only catch the end.’
‘If you get changed at work I want to see you before you go.’
‘You will.’ Louise gave a wicked smile. ‘Let’s see if he can rustle up another supermodel.’
‘Or?’
Louise didn’t answer the question because she didn’t know the answer herself. ‘I’ll go and set up the shower for you,’ Louise said instead, and opened Emily’s locker and started to get her toiletries out. ‘What do you want to wear?’
‘Whatever makes me look least like a prostitute,’ Emily said, because, after all, it was Louise who had shopped for her!
‘But you look gorgeous in all of them,’ Louise said, ‘and I promise that you’re going to feel gorgeous too once you’ve had a shower.’
Emily actually did. After more than a week of washing from a bowl, a brief shower and a hair wash had her feeling so refreshed that she actually put on some make-up and her smile matched the scarlet nightdress that Louise had bought her.
‘Wrong room!’ Hugh joked, when he dropped in during a lull between patients, please to see how much brighter Emily looked.
In fact, Emily had quite a lot of visitors and Anton glanced into her room as he walked past.
‘Is she resting?’ Anton asked Louise.
‘I’m going to shoo them out soon,’ Louise said. ‘She’s had her sister and mum and now Hugh’s boss and his wife have dropped in.’
Alex and Jennifer were lovely, just lovely, but Emily really did need her rest and so, after checking in on Carmel, who seemed much calmer since her sleep and a visit from her husband and children, Louise popped in on Emily, dragging the CTG monitor with her.
‘How are you?’ Louise asked.
‘Fine!’ Emily said, but she had that slightly exhausted look in her eyes as she smiled brightly.
‘That’s good.’ Louise turned to the visitors. She knew Alex very well from the five years she had worked in Theatre and she knew Jennifer a little too. ‘I’m sorry to be a pain, but I’ve got to pop Louise on the monitor.’
‘Of course,’ Jennifer said. ‘We were just leaving.’
‘Don’t rush,’ Louise said, while meaning the opposite. ‘I’m just going to get some gel.’
That would give them time to say goodbye.
Of course Emily was grateful for visitors but even a shower, after all this time in bed, was draining, and Louise would do everything and anything she had to do to make sure Emily got her rest. By the time she returned with the gel Alex and Jennifer had said their goodbyes and were in the corridor.
‘How are you, Louise?’ Alex asked. ‘Missing Theatre?’
‘A bit,’ Louise admitted, ‘although I simply love it here.’
‘Well, we miss you,’ Alex said kindly, and then glanced over to the nurses’ station, where Anton was writing his notes. ‘Oh, there’s Anton. Jennifer, I must introduce you—’
‘Not now, darling,’ Jennifer said. ‘We really do have to get home for Josie.’
‘It will just take two minutes.’ Alex was insistent but as he went to walk over, Jennifer caught his arm.
‘Alex, I really am tired.’
‘Of course.’ Alex changed his mind and they wished Louise goodnight before heading off the ward.
Louise looked at Anton, remembering the night of the theatre do and Anton’s stilted response when Alex had said he hadn’t yet met his wife. Even if she and Anton were trying to keep their distance a touch, Louise couldn’t resist meddling.
‘She’s gone,’ Louise said, as he carried on writing.
‘Who?’
‘Jennifer.’
‘That’s good.’
‘She’s nice, isn’t she?’ Louise said, and watched his pen pause for a second.
‘So I’ve heard,’ Anton responded, and carried on writing.
‘Have you met her?’
Anton looked up and met Louise’s eyes, which were sparkling with mischief. ‘Should I have?’
‘I don’t know.’ Louise smiled, all the more curious, but, looking at him, properly looking at him for the first time since he had handed her the referral, she was curious now for different reasons. ‘Why aren’t we talking, Anton?’
‘We’re talking now.’
‘Why are you checking everything I do?’
‘I’m not.’
‘Believe me, you are. I might just as well give you the obs trolley and follow you around and simply write your findings down.’
‘Louise, I like to check my patients myself. It has nothing to do with you.’
‘Okay.’ She went to go but changed her mind. ‘We’re not talking, though, are we?’
He glanced at the sticking plaster on her arm from where she had had blood tests. ‘How was your appointment?’
‘He was very informative,’ Louise said.
‘You’re seeing him again?’
‘In January.’ Louise nodded.
‘May I ask …?’ Anton said, and Louise closed her eyes.
‘Please don’t.’
‘So I just sit here and say nothing?’ Anton checked.
He glanced down the corridor. ‘Come to my office.’
Louise did as she wanted to hear what he had to say.
&
nbsp; ‘I want to see if we can have a chance and I don’t think we’ll get one with you about to go on IVF.’
‘Oh, so I’m to put all my plans on hold because you now think we might have a chance.’
‘I don’t think that’s unreasonable.’
‘I do,’ Louise said. ‘I very much do. I’ve liked you for months,’ she said, ‘months and months, and now, when I’m just getting it together, when I’m going ahead with what I’ve decided to do, you suddenly decide, oh, okay, maybe I’ll give her a try.’
‘Come off it, Louise …’
‘No, you come off it,’ Louise snapped back. A part of her knew he was right but the other part of her knew that she was. She’d cancelled her dreams for a man once before and had sworn never to do it again and so she went to walk off.
‘You won’t even discuss it?’
‘I need to think,’ Louise said.
‘Think with me, then.’
‘No.’
She was scared to, scared that he might make up her mind, and she was so past being that person. Instead, she gave him a cheeky smile. ‘Richard told me to have a very nice Christmas.’
Her smile wasn’t returned.
‘I’m not into Christmas.’
‘I meant—’
‘I know what you meant, Louise,’ Anton said. ‘You want some gun for hire.’
‘Ooh, Anton!’ Louise smiled again and then thought for a moment. ‘Actually, I do.’
‘Tough.’
Anton stood in his office for a few moments as she walked off.
Maybe he’d been a bit terse there, he conceded.
But it was hearing Louise talk about egg sharing with Emily that had had him on edge. From the little Louise had told him about her fertility issues he had guessed IVF would be her best option if she wanted to get pregnant. Often women changed their minds after the first visit. He had hoped it might be the case with Louise while deep down knowing that it wouldn’t be.
He had seen her sitting in the canteen with her mother today—and it had to have been her mum as Anton could see where Louise had got her looks from—but even that had caused disquiet.
Louise had talked this through with her family. It was clearly not a whim.
It just left no room for them.
Anton wanted more than just sex for a few weeks.
Then he changed his mind because a few weeks of straight sex sounded pretty ideal right now.
Perhaps they should try pushing things aside and just seeing how the next few weeks unfolded.
He walked out of his office and there was Louise, walking with a woman in labour. She caught his eye and gave him a wink.
Anton smiled in return.
The tease was back on.
CHAPTER NINE
‘I AM SO, so jealous!’ Emily said, as Louise teetered in on high heels on Friday night, having finished her shift and got changed into her Christmas party clothes.
‘It’s fine that you’re jealous,’ Louise said to Emily, ‘because I am so, so jealous of you. I’d love to be in bed now, nursing my bump.’
‘You look stunning,’ Hugh said.
Louise was dressed in a willow-green dress that clung to her lack of curves and she had her Mistletoe range stockings on, which came with matching panties, bra and suspenders. As they chatted Louise topped her outfit off with a very red coat that looked more like a cape and was a piece of art in itself.
‘God help Anton,’ Hugh said openly to Louise.
‘Sadly, he’s stuck on the ward.’ Louise rolled her eyes. ‘So that was a waste of six pounds.’
As she headed out Hugh turned to Emily, who was trying not to laugh at Hugh’s reaction.
‘Was she talking about condoms?’ Hugh asked.
‘She was.’
Oh, Louise was!
As she approached the elevator, there was Anton and his patient must have been sorted because he had changed out of scrubs and was wearing black jeans and a black jumper and looked as festive as one might expect for Anton. He smelt divine, though, Louise thought as she stood beside him, waiting for the lift. ‘You’ve escaped for the weekend,’ Louise said.
‘I have.’
‘Me too!’
She looked at the clothes he was wearing. Black trousers, a black shirt and a very dark grey coat. He looked fantastic rather than festive. ‘I didn’t know they did out-of-hours funerals,’ Louise said as they stepped into the elevator and her eyes ran over his attire.
‘You would have me in a reindeer jumper.’
‘With a glow stick round your neck,’ Louise said as she selected the ground floor. ‘It will be fun tonight.’
‘Well, I’m just going to put my head in to be polite,’ Anton said. ‘I don’t want to stay long.’
‘Yawn, yawn,’ Louise said. ‘You really are a misery at Christmas, Anton. Well, I’m staying right to the end. I missed out on far too many parties last year.’
She leant against the wall and gave him a smile when she saw he was looking at her.
‘You look very nice,’ Anton said.
‘Thank you,’ Louise responded, and she felt a little rush as his eyes raked over her body and this time Anton did look down, all the way to her toes and then back up to her eyes.
She resented that the lift jolted and that the doors opened and someone came in. They all stood in silence but this was no socially awkward nightmare. His delicious, slow perusal continued all the way to the ground floor.
‘Do you want a lift to the party?’ Anton offered.
‘It’s a five-minute walk,’ Louise said. ‘Come back later for your car.’
They stepped out and it was snowing, just a little. It was too damp and not cold enough for it to settle but there in the light of the streetlamps she could see the flakes floating in the night and he saw her smile and chose to walk the short distance.
It was cold, though, and Louise hated the cold.
‘I should have worn a more sensible coat,’ Louise said through chattering teeth because her coat, though divine, was a bit flimsy. It was the perfect red, though, and squishy and soft, and she dragged it out every December and she explained that to Anton. ‘But this is my Christmas party coat. It wasn’t the most thought-out purchase of my life.’
‘You have a Christmas coat?’
‘I have a Christmas wardrobe,’ Louise corrected. ‘So, you’re just staying for a little while.’
‘No,’ Anton said.
‘Oh, I thought you said—’
‘You ruined my line. I was going to suggest that you leave five minutes after me but then you said that you were looking forward to it.’
‘Oh!’
‘I think you are right and that we should enjoy Christmas, perhaps together, and stop concerning ourselves with other things.’ He stopped walking and so did she and they faced each other in the night and he pulled her into his lovely warm coat. ‘Can you be discreet?’
‘Not really,’ Louise said with a smile, ‘but I am discreet about important things.’
‘I know.’
‘And having a nice Christmas is a very important thing,’ she went on, ‘so, yes, I’ll be discreet.’
Pressed together, her hands under his coat and around his waist there was nothing discreet about Anton’s erection.
‘I would kiss you but …’ He looked down at her perfectly painted lips for about half a second because he didn’t care if it ruined her make-up and neither did she. It had been a very long December, all made worth it by this.
After close to two weeks of deprivation Louise returned to his mouth. His kiss was warm and his lips tender. It was a gentle kiss but it delivered such promise. His tongue was hers again to enjoy. His hands moved under her coat and stroked her back and waist so lightly it was almost a tickle, and when their lips parted their faces barely broke contact and Louise’s short breaths blew white in the night. She was ridiculously turned on in his arms.
‘We need get there,’ Anton said.
‘Should we arriv
e together?’ Louise asked. ‘If we’re going to be discreet?’
‘Of course,’ Anton said, ‘we left work at the same time.’
She went into her bag, which was as well organised as her pockets at work, and did a quick repair job on her face and handed Anton a baby wipe.
‘Actually, have the packet,’ Louise said, and Anton pocketed it with a smile.
He might rather be needing them.
It was everything a Christmas party should be.
The theme was fun and midwives knew how to have it.
All the Christmas music was playing and Louise was the happiest she had been in a very, very long time amongst her colleagues and friends. Anton was there in the background, making her toes curl in her strappy stilettoes as she danced and had fun and made merry with friends while he suitably ignored her. Now and then, though, they caught the other’s eye and had a little smile.
It was far less formal than the theatre do and everyone let off a little seasonal steam, well, everyone but Anton.
He stood chatting with Stephanie and Rory, holding his sparkling water, even though he was off duty now until Monday.
‘Louise,’ Rory called to her near the end of the evening, ‘what are you doing for Emily at Christmas?’
‘I don’t know,’ Louise said. ‘I’ve been racking my brains. She’s got everything she needs really but I’m going Christmas shopping tomorrow. I might think of something then.’
‘Well, let me know if you want to go halves,’ Rory said. ‘Or if you see something I could get, then could you get it for me?’
‘I shall.’
‘I’m going to take Stephanie home,’ Rory said, and as Stephanie went to get her coat, even though Anton was there, Louise couldn’t resist, once Stephanie had gone, asking Rory a question.
‘Is it Stephanie?’
‘Who?’
‘The woman you like.’
‘God.’ Rory rolled his eyes. ‘Why did I ever say anything?’
‘Because we’re friends.’
‘Just drop it,’ Rory said. ‘And, no, it’s not Stephanie.’ He let out a laugh at Louise’s suggestion. ‘She’s married with two children.’
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