by Anita Oh
But in all my hallucinations, there was no Tennyson Wilde. There was only a shadow on the wall in the shape of him.
My father appeared at random times. Sometimes he was real, but other times, I couldn't be sure. He told me things that made no sense. Stories of where he had been since he left us, what he had done. Sometimes, I could see these stories playing out in front of me like little Claymation figures.
Whenever I was lucid, I tried to keep myself together enough to send a message to Tennyson. Even if he was dead, even if our connection had been severed, maybe someone would hear. Maybe one of the pack would be able to sense me and could somehow track me down. I couldn't be just another girl who had vanished from Amaris High that nobody ever talked about, like Hannah.
I tried to send him details, though I didn't know which ones were real.
I think I can hear a train, I told him.
There were no windows, so, even if I hadn't been chained down, I'd have no idea of what was outside, but the building itself might be a clue.
It's a small room with an iron door, I told him. When he comes in, his footsteps echo, like he's coming from a long corridor. I think it might be an old hospital. No, that wasn't quite right; why would a hospital need such heavy doors? Or an asylum. I shivered.
But there weren't many times when I was lucid. It was always right before my father entered to dose me up again.
I hate him, I told Tennyson. And because I was sure he couldn't hear, I added, I miss you.
I was on a lot of drugs, but I could've sworn I heard him say, Wait for me. I'm coming.
I knew it couldn't keep on like that, but I didn't know how to stop it. Every time my father came in, I tried to talk to him, but nothing I said seemed to make any difference. I threatened him, begged him, screamed at him and cried, but he just calmly took me by the hand and pumped me full of drugs. I tried everything I could think of — everything but the one thing that would turn my father's betrayal inward, turn it to myself. I didn't think I could do that — sell out Tennyson and our bond and give my father what he wanted.
But then, one day, as my father entered my room with that benevolent smile on his face, I realized something. I didn't need to betray Tennyson. I just needed my father to believe I had.
"Daddy," I whispered as he sat down. "Daddy, I'm ready."
His hand froze halfway to his pocket to get the syringe. He shifted to face me directly, staring me in the eyes. I needed to sell it, to make him believe. The power inside me swirled around in the place where Tennyson used to be, and it felt like biting down on a sore tooth. I ignored it. I thought back to the me of a year ago, when I'd first met Tennyson. He'd been such a jerk. Well, he was still a jerk, only now I understood him. But before the bond, before the body swap, he'd seemed so cold, so alien. Not someone you'd ever want a connection with.
I'd hated him.
Even as I thought that, I knew it was a lie. He'd been compelling. It was impossible not to be aware of him, to watch him. Part of the reason he'd made me so angry was that I couldn't hate him. But I needed to believe I did.
Whatever I did, it was enough to convince my father.
He nodded. "Very well," he said. "We'll perform the procedure to sever your bond tonight." His face shone with approval, and it made me want to throw up. "You're a good girl, Lucy. We'll cure you of this, I promise."
"Thanks Dad," I said, forcing a smile. "So, can you maybe unchain me now?"
He smiled back at me and shook his head like I was a cute but slow puppy. "Not yet, Lucy. Not until we have you safe."
I held on to my composure with everything I had until he had closed the door behind him. Then I let out a long breath. I was sure there were cameras in there, watching me, so I didn't cry or scream or do anything to give myself away. I just closed my eyes.
My father's words had told me something for sure.
Tennyson was still alive, and our bond was intact.
Come for me, I told him. It has to be today.
Chapter 16
My head was clearer than it had been in ages. Even before my father had kidnapped me, my thoughts had been a mess with the bond and the Becoming and everything else that was going on, but lying there in that darkened room waiting to be rescued, I found clarity.
I'd blamed magic for all my problems, but that wasn't the issue at all. I'd made a series of choices that had led me to this place. I'd always tried to do what was right, ignoring my instincts to the point where I was so confused, it was impossible to even tell what was right. But one thing was clear now. My bond with Tennyson — that was right. The power inside me — that was right too. It was part of me, and I needed to accept it.
But my father, and the people he worked with, and whatever they were doing was so far from right. Kidnapping girls and performing weird procedures on them — you didn't need to be a genius to realize something was iffy there, but more than that, it was a pervasive feeling I had that said something was rotten here, right to the core.
But it wasn't as if I could do anything about it, lying there chained to the bed. I waited for help to arrive, for my pack to storm in and rescue me. I waited, and I waited. There was nothing to mark the passage of time but the dripping of water. I counted the drips. One hundred drips. One thousand drips. Ten thousand. But no help came. Twenty thousand, thirty thousand. I'd almost gotten to fifty when the door opened. But it wasn't my pack that came through.
"Are you ready?" my father asked.
There were two men behind him, dressed in what looked like surgical scrubs. I bit down on my panic.
"If you're not sure about this, the procedure may have some serious side effects, so I need you to be sure."
"We're doing the procedure," one of the evil doctors said.
My father turned to him and said something quietly which I was clearly not meant to hear. But I heard him.
"Nevertheless, she needs to have all the information," he said. "It's the law."
I could have laughed. Since when did he care about the law?
"What kind of side effects?" I asked. The longer I kept them talking, the more time the pack had to get there and stage my rescue.
My father approached the bed. "It depends on the strength of the bond," he said. "If it's weak, there may be some nausea and vomiting, headaches, but nothing permanent."
"And if it's strong?"
It was strong. But obviously not strong enough for Tennyson to find me.
My father hesitated before speaking. "In stronger bonds, the procedure can cause bleeding from the eyes, ears and nose, severe abdominal cramping… Lucy, you'll be fine. You don't need to know all this, not if you're committed to the outcome."
"Tell me," I said.
"There can be permanent brain damage on both sides of the bond, and in the absolute worst case scenario, heart failure."
"On both sides?" I said.
He nodded.
Hurry up, you loser, I said desperately. They're going to kill us both.
"Can I have some more time to think?" I asked, glancing at the evil doctors. "I've been on a lot of drugs, you know? My decision-making process is a bit foggy."
My father patted my hand. "You'll be fine, Lucy. Just be sure to reject the bond in your heart and mind, and no harm will come to you."
He sounded like some sort of cracked televangelist, and that was when I realized I was well and truly screwed.
The power rose up inside me so quickly that there was no way I could have prepared for it. My body was filled with it, and I didn't resist. I glowed so brightly that I had to close my eyes, but I didn't need to see. I was aware of everything — every speck of dust, every atom in the room.
I pulled myself free of the chains and stood up.
"Stop her!" my father yelled.
"How is she doing this?" shouted one of the evil doctors. "The iron door!"
There was no way I was letting them touch me. I'd walk right out of there, and anyone who got in my way would be crushed like a bug. But bef
ore I could even get out of the room, I felt something pierce my neck. I reached up to feel what it was and found the end of a dart that was lodged deep in my neck. I didn't have time to pull it out before my glow faded and I fell back onto the bed, helpless.
I was still conscious, but I couldn't move. They chained me back down to the bed and wheeled me out of the room, and there was nothing I could do about it. I didn't know what had been in that dart, but I couldn't feel the power inside me anymore. It was as if they'd just flicked a switch and shut it off.
The florescent lights flashed by as they wheeled me down the corridors and into a room. I could see all sorts of weird machines around me, hear them humming and beeping, but I couldn't turn my head to see what they were. They unchained me, and I was lifted onto a high table or workbench. I could feel cold metal beneath me as they slipped leather cuffs around my ankles and wrists and buckled them into place.
My father's face appeared in my field of vision, smiling down at me from the top of my head. I wished I could reach up to claw that smile right off his face.
"It will all be over soon, Lulu," he said.
I couldn't blink, and a tear slid down the side of my face. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't force myself to want to break the bond when the very idea appalled me, but if I didn't, both Tennyson and I could die.
One of the evil doctors appeared beside me. He wrote something on my forehead with a marker pen, then turned away. The other appeared on my other side with a long needle. I thought it would be a sedative, that they'd knock me out, but I was wrong.
"This might feel uncomfortable," said my father. "You need to be lucid for the procedure to have any effect, but it can be unpleasant."
The evil doctor held the needle above my eye. Every instinct I had willed that eye to close as he lowered the needle toward it, but I couldn't move a muscle. Inside my head, I was screaming, but I couldn't make a noise.
Just as the needle was about to enter my eye, there was a mighty crash, and the evil doctor pulled away.
There was a lot of loud banging and shouting, but I had no way of knowing what was happening. I hoped that one of the evil doctors had poured some evil doctor concoction all over himself and was in the middle of transforming into a flesh-eating slug who would then eat the other doctor, but that seemed too good to be true.
Something knocked into the table I'd been laid out on, and I jolted to the side. I had no idea what was going on until someone grabbed me by the wrist. All of my senses jumped back to life as Tennyson's face came into view.
The cavalry had finally arrived.
"She's alive!" he called out. "I can feel her pulse."
He unbuckled my restraints and then turned away as if he expected me to follow, but I still couldn't move.
Are you all right? he asked.
Hearing his voice in my head made it all seem real, as if he was actually there and this wasn't some drug-induced hallucination.
I can't move, I told him. They've dosed me up with something.
He turned back to lift me from the table, and I was surprised at his strength. Even though I knew he was a werewolf, his wiry frame had lulled me into a false sense of him being a weakling. He lifted me easily, one arm around my shoulders, one under my knees. He was warm after lying on the cold metal, and his sweater was soft.
Now that I wasn't on the table, I could see what was happening. Nikolai and Althea had the two evil doctors trapped in a corner between a supply cupboard and a filthy sink. Sam was back to back with them, facing off with my father, a trolley full of strange silver instruments between them. Sam was half-transformed and feral.
I couldn't believe anyone thought it would be okay to operate in a place like this. Even without all the broken equipment, which I assumed was because of the rescue, everything was layered in thick coat of grime and looked about fifty years past its "best before" date.
Let's get out of here, I said to Tennyson.
He nodded, and the whole pack started moving as one unit toward the door.
"Get your hands off my daughter, you monster!"
Tell him never to contact me again, I said to Tennyson. Tell him never to come near me or my family again. He’s no better than the Others.
Tennyson told him, but he didn't like it.
"I will bring a world of trouble down on your pack," my father said, grabbing one of the silver instruments from the trolley and hurling it at Nikolai. It only grazed his cheek, but he fell to the ground, screaming.
It gave the evil doctors a burst of confidence, and they rushed at Althea.
This couldn't happen. I couldn't let this happen. After everything, after them coming to find me and being so close to escape, they couldn't defeat us now. It was too unfair.
I watched helplessly as the doctors knocked Althea to the floor.
"Get her out of here!" Sam snarled at Tennyson.
Tennyson turned toward the door, but I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't escape while the others were stuck here to be tortured and experimented on. It just wasn't going to happen.
I didn't have very much strength, but what I had, I used to form that connection with Tennyson.
Let me, I said, and he didn't argue.
He was so powerful, so strong, and he gave all of that power to me. It merged with the power inside of me, that endless power I'd been storing inside. And with only the thought of protecting my pack in my mind, I unleashed that power. I let it consume me.
And then I knew no more.
Chapter 17
From the moment that my father kidnapped me, I hadn't had any hope of getting out of that place alive, so I was shocked to wake up and find myself in Tennyson's bed. Sunlight was streaming through the window, making everything seem too normal, too bright. For a moment, I wondered if I'd dreamed the entire thing, but there were chafe marks on my wrists from where I'd been bound to the bed.
Hello?
I had no idea what time of day it was, where Tennyson might be, and I felt a bit strange wandering around the house without him there. There was no reason for it; the others were my friends as well, but for some reason I needed him there. I didn't want to leave the sanctuary of his room without him.
We're downstairs, he said. How are you feeling?
I wasn't sure how to answer, so I showed him through the bond.
Maybe you should sleep a bit more, he said.
But I'd slept for the whole time I'd been in that room. I didn't want to sleep ever again.
I sat up warily, expecting my body to be filled with aches and pains, but I was surprised to find that I felt fine. Better than fine. I was full of pep.
What do you mean, sleep more? I asked him. I feel great!
Still, I was a bit hesitant about going downstairs. Nikolai and Althea had both been injured while rescuing me, and that was on me. Sam had gone feral, and he'd been so good with control lately that I was sure he'd have some issues about it. Things would probably be weird.
Things were definitely weird.
Nobody looked at me as I walked in. Not even Tennyson.
"Hi!" Althea said brightly into her book. "How are you feeling?"
"Are you guys okay?" I asked.
They looked uninjured — even Nikolai's face where it had been grazed was healed — but something was definitely up.
"We're all fine," said Sam. "How are you?"
I wasn't sure if I should sit down at the table with them while they were all acting so odd. It wasn't exactly a welcoming atmosphere.
"I'm okay." I looked around at them, but they seemed real, not figments of my imagination. "Don't take this the wrong way, you guys, but you're not hallucinations, are you?"
"We're real," said Nikolai, and sure, maybe he wasn't a cheesy moon anymore, but did that mean I could take him at his word? "They sure must've done a number on your head."
"How long was I there?"
"Six days," Tennyson said in a tight voice.
I sighed. I was definitely not going to win an
y prizes for my grades this semester.
I stood there awkwardly, not sure of what to do. Maybe I should just leave, but first I had something I needed to say.
"I know it doesn't count for much, but I'm sorry for what happened," I said. "You guys got hurt, and it could've been a lot worse, and I'm so, so sorry that you had to come and rescue me from that place."
"Nobody blames you for getting kidnapped," said Althea. "We pushed you into contacting your father when you said we couldn't trust him."
"Oookay," I said. "Well, then. Maybe I should go. Let you guys do your stuff, or whatever." I took a step toward the door.
Finally, Tennyson looked up. "You don't remember?"
"Um," I said. "Remember what?"
"Those guys were attacking us," said Nikolai, still not looking at me. "And then you went all rawr." He made a growly face and claw hands. "Like a supernova."
"You were bursting with power," Tennyson said quietly. "I couldn't even touch you."
"You just waved your hand, and that was it," said Althea.
It felt like an icy hand was squeezing my heart. "My dad," I whispered. "Is he…"
I'd gone into a rage blackout and killed my father, and that was why nobody could look at me. I was a murderer. A patricider.
Tennyson shook his head. "We think you just knocked them out, but it was…"
You were terrifying, he said. I couldn't get near you.
"Oh," I said.
I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with that.
"I should…" I hooked a finger back toward the door. "Go have a shower and, you know. Try not to explode and murder people."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Tennyson asked.
I shook my head. "You've probably earned some time off. If things get bad, I'll let you know."
I half-expected him to argue, but he just nodded.
"We've contacted Vucari and asked him to do the ritual. We're waiting for him to get back to us with a time and place."
