“Isn’t that kind of like the pot calling the kettle black?”
“Yeah,” Alex said, smiling from ear to ear, “but I have to say it is a lot more fun watching it than experiencing it.”
Cole stood and walked over to grab his water. He knew that this was probably amusing as shit to Alex, but he was not in the mood to deal with it. All day, all he’d been able to think about was what was going to happen when he told Julianna how he felt. Never in his life had he been this nervous.
What if she didn’t feel the same way he did? He knew that she wanted him, but did she want him? What if she walked away from this and didn’t look back? How could he make her see how good they would be together?
* * *
Julianna had built an entire life that, as much as he wanted to be a part of it, did not include him. She was like an island unto herself. She depended on one person and one person only—the person she saw in the mirror.
His mom had made good points about what it was like to be a single mom, and he respected all Julianna had done. But he was scared that the walls she’d built for self-protection might not come down easily. Not that he wouldn’t put in the work. He would. He was still worried that it wouldn’t be enough.
In a few weeks, he’d be leaving for training camp. Could he really prove to her that he would be there for her when he wasn’t actually there?
“Damn. I didn’t know it was that bad.” Alex stepped beside him and slapped him on the shoulder. “I was just giving you a hard time, but shit, man. You look miserable.”
Cole shrugged “It’s complicated.”
“Most things that are worth it are; if she’s the one, then it’s worth it.”
“She’s the one,” he answered automatically.
“Well, then there’s only one thing you can do.” A knowing smile spread on Alex’s face.
“What’s that?” Cole sure as shit didn’t have the answers, and at this point, he was desperate.
“Un-complicate it,” Alex stated as if it were obvious.
Cole nodded, but he really didn’t think it would be that simple. He almost asked how, but he feared that would be getting dangerously close to a Taster’s Choice moment, and that really wasn’t his MO.
As he and Alex continued their workout, Cole’s mind kept filling with Julianna. The way she twisted her hair when she was nervous. The way she separated all of her food on her plate, because she didn’t want any of the flavors to mix. The way her face lit up whenever she talked about Anthony.
He didn’t know what the fuck he’d been doing before Julianna and Anthony had walked into his life. His life seemed so shallow now. He’d lived for himself. Now he had two people he wanted the opportunity to live for, and he was scared shitless he would not get the chance.
Chapter Fourteen
Julianna raced into the house and dropped the groceries on the counter. She was late. Again. It seemed to be a recurring theme this week.
Cole would be here any minute. She needed to prep dinner and take a shower. She would skip the shower, but while the oil the massage therapist had used was amazing, the smell was seriously getting to her sinuses.
After removing the veggies from the bag, she quickly washed and chopped them. Luckily, she’d planned on making a simple and fast dinner. Chicken tacos were her specialty. They were always a crowd pleaser, but she was a little nervous that Cole wouldn’t like them. Maybe she was nervous because this was their last night together. Or maybe she was nervous about what other things they would check off her list tonight.
Whatever the reason, all the relaxation she’d gained from the amazing massage she’d gotten this afternoon was out the window. Stressed did not even begin to cover what she was feeling. She’d been biting the inside of her mouth so hard on the drive home that she was surprised she hadn’t drawn blood.
So many different scenarios of how tonight was going to play out had congested her mind that, if they were cars, there would be bumper-to-bumper traffic. Some of them were so ridiculous that she hadn’t even entertained them, but she’d narrowed possible, plausible outcomes to best case vs. worse case.
As far as she could see it, best-case scenario went like this: Cole showed up. They had a lovely dinner. They got down and dirty. Cole left. Julianna went on with her life.
Then there was worst-case scenario: Cole showed up. Things were awkward between them. Things got physical. Julianna got emotional. Cole thought she was a crazy basket case. Julianna spent months, if not years, trying to get over him.
She was hoping with all her heart that it would not be the latter.
After placing the shredded chicken in the plastic baggie to marinate and tossing it in the fridge, Julianna was feeling a little less frazzled. With dinner prepped, she only needed to hop in the shower. In ten minutes, she’d be back on schedule and ready to face Cole.
Just as she made it to her bedroom door, a loud knock sounded.
Shit. She’d been so close.
Turning on her heel, she resisted biting her inner lip. She was greasy from her massage, wearing no makeup, and still in her scrubs. Adding a bloody mouth to that picture was not going to happen.
As she opened the door, she was all set to make a quick apology about how she was running late, tell Cole to make himself at home, and then escape to the bathroom. But the second she laid eyes on him, all of the air rushed from her lungs.
He was dressed in khaki shorts and a white shirt that looked amazing against his olive skin. His sexy five-o’clock shadow was in full effect. The muscles on his chest, forearms, and biceps were so defined and large that it looked like he’d spent the entire day at the gym, which he might have.
But his appearance wasn’t the reason Julianna was having a hard time forcing oxygen into her lungs. It was the look in his eyes that had taken her breath away. It was his normal possessive, passionate, primal stare but on super steroids. She felt it in every cell in her body.
“Can I come in?” Cole asked with a sexy half smile that made his dimple come out and say hi.
“Oh, yeah.” Julianna stepped to the side to let him in as she shook her head, trying to clear the lust fog so she could string a sentence together. “Sorry…I’m um…out of it… I’m just…running a little late…so just stay…and I have to… I’ll just need—”
Cole cut off Julianna’s rambling explanation by crushing his mouth to hers. His thumbs brushed along her jaw and his fingers gripped the back of her neck. All thoughts, except for how amazing Cole’s lips, tongue, and hands felt, disintegrated like granules of sugar in hot coffee. Then her tongue met his and she lost herself in the force of the kiss.
After what could have been an hour or a minute—she had no idea—he pulled away and looked down at her with so much affection that it made a tear come to her eye.
“Better?” he asked.
“Better.” She smiled, attempting not to let him see how the kiss and the look in his eyes were affecting her. Pulling out of his hold, she grabbed the remote control and pushed it in his hand. “I’m running a little late. I’m going to go take a quick shower. I won’t be long. Make yourself at home.”
Then she spun around so fast that her hair whipped her in the face as she rushed down the hall. Once she was in her bathroom, she shut the door and leaned against it, breathing hard. She had to get it together. The last thing she wanted was for Cole to see how much power he had over her.
Looking in the mirror, she barely recognized herself. Her lips were swollen from Cole’s claiming kiss, her eyes were wild, and her shirt was wrinkled and disheveled. She was a mess.
In that moment, reality hit her like a ton of bricks. As amazing as this week had been, it wasn’t just good that it would be over after tonight—it was essential. If Cole could make her feel this much, get her to pull back the curtain she’d never let anyone behind in this short amount of time, then what would happen if they spent more time together?
Julianna had been worried about her heart, but Cole had the ability
to crush her soul. That was not a luxury she could afford. Her strength…her spirit…was the only thing that had gotten her through when her mother had abandoned her, her aunt had kicked her out, and Jared had left her.
After peeling off her scrubs, she turned the water to hot with a renewed sense of balance. All week—and, if she was being honest, for a while before that—she’d been falling for Cole. Hard. It had made her feel weak, out of control, and vulnerable. It was like her life had been flipped upside down, and she’d felt powerless to turn it right-side up.
The power she’d given this experience was the issue. Not Cole. He’d only been able to affect her as much as she’d let him. Remembering her motto for the week, she took her power back, gaining the control her life depended on.
Get in. Get some. Get out.
No harm. No foul. No heartbreak.
* * *
Cole paced around the living room and felt like he was going to come out of his skin. He had so much he wanted to say to Julianna, to do to Julianna. Instead, he was wearing a hole in her carpet.
The second the shower came on, he was reminded of the first night he’d been here. He’d been so lost, not sure about anything except the fact that he couldn’t get Julianna out of his mind. That he had no interest in anyone else.
Now, he had so much more clarity in the situation. So much had changed over the past few weeks. He loved Julianna and Anthony. His relationship with her had developed from strangers to friends and then to friends with benefits. All he had to do now was move that status up another notch.
Which brought him back to why he was walking in circles around the living room. He wanted to cement their relationship. To make things official between them. He couldn’t do that when she was in the shower.
Or could he?
Things had changed since the first night he was here, when it had killed him to think about her naked under the spray of water. Cole started taking off his clothes before he even made it half way down the hall, and he was rock hard before he reached the bathroom.
Opening the door, he stepped into a billow of steam. Behind a foggy glass door, Julianna’s pinup silhouette stood under the water, and his body ached to be inside of her. After he tossed a condom on the counter, the handle clicked as he opened the glass shower door, and Julianna looked over her shoulder in surprise as he moved inside.
“What are you doin—?”
“Checking things off my list,” he stated as he closed the shower door.
A gorgeous smile spread on her face as she wiped her hands over her hair and tilted her head back, rinsing it under the spray. “Is that right? Is taking a shower with me at the top of your list?”
“I didn’t say the top.” Cole inched forward, eliminating the distance between them. Running his hands up the sides of her waist, he easily moved over her slick skin as the water beat down on their bodies.
Lifting her brow, she playfully asked, “Really? What is on the top of your list, then?”
Marrying you.
The first words Cole thought to answer with surprised the hell out of him. He froze, his hands resting on her hips. He knew he loved Julianna, and yes, one day, he wanted to marry her. But he just realized this minute that, if she would go down to the Justice of the Peace tonight, he would happily put a ring on it.
“Wow. Is it that freaky?” Julianna asked with a teasing tone when he didn’t answer.
However, he could see that there was an underlying trepidation to her statement. She’d misconstrued his epiphany as a freak flag. Pulling her close to him so that their wet bodies were rubbing against each other, he said, “You’ll find out.”
“Well, Mr. Mysterious, since you won’t tell me what’s on the top of your list, I guess I should just work on checking off what’s at the top of mine.” Her eyes shimmered with wicked intent, and his dick grew even harder.
Cole wasn’t sure what had happened in the few minutes since she’d left him in the living room, but she seemed like a totally different person. More confident. More self-assured. Which was great, but despite the fact that they were standing naked in each other’s arms, under hot water, he couldn’t help but notice that she also seemed more distant. It wasn’t about what her body was doing—it was the look in her eyes. When she looked at him, even with playful naughtiness, it was lacking intimacy. The dynamic between them had definitely shifted.
“Julianna, is everything okay—”
His question was cut off as slender fingers squeezed his thick length. He tried to concentrate on what he’d been about to ask her, but when she began sliding down to kneel in front of him, his mind went blank with lust. Like a sensual Etch A Sketch, she’d just erased every thought, concern, and worry he’d had.
When she wrapped her full lips around his engorged tip, sealing them before sucking him into her wet mouth, pleasure whipped through him like a violent gust of wind. Placing one hand on the wall for support, he raked the other through her wet hair.
Cole’s heart beat erratically as he stood under the shower, guiding Julianna’s head up and down his length. Seeing her on her knees, dripping wet as water beat down on her, while his dick slid in and out of her mouth made him feel like, after this moment, he could die a happy man. Everything in the world disappeared except the two of them.
As Julianna’s cheeks hollowed as she sucked his cock with more pressure, his knees locked. The suctioning swirl of her tongue sent a tingle of bliss shooting from his cock into his balls. This might have been on her sex to-do list, but she was definitely fulfilling his erotic fantasy. Actually, that could be said about everything on her list.
A surge of release filled Cole’s dick and he tightened his hand, fisting her hair as he pulled her off him and wrapped an arm around her. Then he picked her up off the shower floor and turned the water off. Kicking the shower door open with more force than he’d meant to, he held Julianna tight to him even as she was slipping down his body and then carried her to her bed, retrieving the condom he’d left on the counter on the way.
After he laid her down and quickly took care of protection, he pulled her to the edge of the bed and thrust inside her in one swift motion. Her fingernails dug into his forearms as he gripped her hips. Plunging in and out of her, he lowered down and pulled a taut nipple in his mouth, biting it lightly with his teeth like he knew she liked.
“Oh God!” she cried out as she arched her back, pushing her breast into his mouth.
Her hands moved to his head, holding him in place as he licked, nibbled, and suckled each of her breasts. Cole still couldn’t get over how responsive Julianna was to him and he was to her. Every time they were together, he swore that it was the best, but then the next time, it would be better. Never in his life had he experienced that. It was like their bodies knew each other instinctually. There was not a doubt in his mind that he would never get enough of her.
Their bodies slid together, both still wet from the shower, which added to the sensuality of the experience. Drying them off hadn’t even crossed his mind. He’d been overwhelmed with urgency, and all he had been able to think about was being inside Julianna, making her feel the way her mouth had made him feel.
When her inner walls began milking him, Cole felt himself teetering on the verge of one of the most powerful orgasms he’d ever had. Every muscle and every nerve in his body was alive, pleasure rushing through him like the waters of the rapids. Flexing his fingers over the soft flesh of her ample hips, Cole lifted Julianna’s body up off the bed, tilting her pelvis so that he could drive deeper into her.
After the first thrust in this new position, Julianna’s thighs clenched around him and her body began convulsing in release. He continued licking and sucking her nipple as he watched her ride out her climax. Wet strands of hair dropped across her face as her head fell back, and her eyes closed as she bit down on her bottom lip and moaned in ecstasy. She looked fucking beautiful.
Cole’s own release hit him with a crash as he pumped in and out of her tight channel.
When his arms flexed, he felt a primal groan rip from his chest as a frenzy of simultaneous explosions burst through his body. His toes curled and his fingers tightened as he experienced the longest, hottest release of his life.
When the final electrified pulse of satisfaction subsided, he collapsed on top of her. She moved her legs so that they were wrapped around his lower back. His head was resting on her breast as her fingers ran through his damp hair.
“Am I hurting you?” he asked, as he gasped for breath. He knew he outweighed her by at least a hundred pounds, and the last thing he wanted to do was crush her.
“No. I like you like this,” she said softly.
“Good.” Cole wanted to stay in Julianna’s arms, buried deep inside her forever.
The question was: Is that what she wanted?
Chapter Fifteen
Julianna couldn’t do it. She’d thought that, after her little pep talk in the bathroom, she could handle being with Cole for one more night, but now, she knew she couldn’t.
They’d had sex two times after the shower, once in the kitchen while she’d been trying to cook dinner, and then, when dinner was over, Cole had said that he wanted her for dessert. That had led to the third encounter, after which Cole had fallen fast asleep.
She’d been lying wide awake next to him for the last hour, watching him sleep, and every minute that passed, her panic grew—as did her feelings. Julianna needed a clean break. Just like she’d always told Anthony, ripping a Band-Aid off was better than slowly peeling it back.
Moving out of Cole’s arms, she planned on getting out of bed, getting dressed in pajamas (read: putting on emotional armor), gathering his clothes (so she wouldn’t be distracted by his Adonis-like body), then waking him up and letting him know that she needed to get up early in the morning. Hopefully, he would get the hint and she wouldn’t have to spell it out that she wanted him to leave.
Before she made it to phase one of her plan, though, Cole’s arms tightened around her. “Where are you going?” he asked in a sleepy bedroom voice that shot straight between her legs.
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