“Fuck for Christ!” they pleaded, smiling and laughing. “Show your love for Him by showing your love to us!”
“Disgusting!” snorted Sister Charity, visibly offended at the sight of naked buttocks thrusting in and out of the nuns’ anuses. ”How can they consider themselves virtuous if they don’t save their virtue for Christ!”
Innocence became used to the stares that followed her as she walked around the streets of Divin. Although there were many nuns who visited the town, most did not dress as she did. Sister Charity often accompanied her and attracted rather less attention. However, Sister Charity soon found other companions and Innocence began to take more pleasure in walking by herself. She was struggling with her own thoughts. Wasn’t there something a little odd, she asked herself, in joining a Holy Order to find herself if to remain in the order she had to pretend to be different from what she was?
She wandered into a church in the town centre that always gave her a reassuring sense of peace. She pushed open the heavy door designed to keep out small birds and strolled around the perimeter of the church gazing at the stained windows and mediaeval statuary which clashed curiously with more modern features such as the wooden notice boards advertising missions in foreign lands and the requests for donations to the upkeep of the Church. She wasn’t quite the only person in the church, as there was a naked middle-aged couple also wandering about and commenting to each other about the antiquity of the church.
She was drawn as always towards the candles lit for individual prayers and wishes. As she always did when she was in a church, she selected a new candle, made a brief prayer to herself for peace in the world (which nonetheless felt inadequate for the inarticulate longings she actually did feel) and then lit it with the flame of another candle before placing it in an empty candle-holder. She closed her eyes in passive contemplation after she’d reassured herself that the candle would continue to burn.
“A penny for your thoughts, sister,” commented a voice beside her.
Innocence opened her eyes and looked at who it was who was speaking. It was a black girl with hair grown wild like a bush, no clothes at all and the shadow of unshaven hair on her arms and legs. Innocence recognised her, but not instantly. It was the eyes and broad smile partly obscured by the bush of hair that triggered her memory.
“Purity!” Innocence gasped. “You live in Divin!”
Purity frowned. “Well not quite. Brook maybe. But how do you know me, sister?”
“It’s me! Innocence!” the nun declared to her former lover. She pulled off her wimple to show her shaved head but more importantly her otherwise obscured face.
“Innocence! A nun!” gasped Purity.
She stepped back and bumped her bottom against a pew. “Ouch!” She rubbed her arse with her hand. “I would never have believed that you…”
The two old friends left the church and wandered to a nearby tea shop to continue their reunion. Purity still found it odd that Innocence should have made such a radical step as to join a Convent after leaving home with her sister, but as she explained she too had changed since the two girls were at school together. She was now living in a commune of vegans in Sauterelle, a country district of Brook far away from it all.
“We don’t believe in unnatural things at all. We eschew exploitation of all animals, including wearing leather and eating animal products. We don’t wear any makeup or cut our hair at all. I don’t shave my legs any more.”
The more Innocence heard about Purity’s commune the more it sounded rather like the Convent that she served at except that there was no apparent belief in God and the rules of behaviour derived their legitimacy from mutual consent and discussion rather than from a belief that they were derived from the commands of the Lord. There was also the very real distinction that in the Convent, Innocence was meant to avoid carnal knowledge and maintain her virginity, whereas there was no such belief in Purity’s commune. In fact Purity rather boasted about her sex life which involved activity with men and women on a casual understanding that evoked for Innocence the life she’d left with Une and Chastity. Indeed, she could now see that she was actually actively missing it.
Purity was visiting Divin for no particular reason. She had just decided to leave the commune for a few weeks and see more of Brook. “Sauterelle’s not the whole of Brook after all,” she explained. She’d hitch-hiked across the district, occasionally having to repay the favour of a lift with sex (“But only if I like the driver!” she explained). She only happened to be in Divin because her last lift happened to drop her there and until she’d met Innocence she’d really seen no reason to prolong her stay. “It’s pretty dull round here!” she exclaimed.
“But there’s some very pleasant countryside,” Innocence remarked. And so it was that after the two girls had finished their tea and biscuits, Innocence and Purity walked out of the town and into the woods above the town. Purity didn’t seem to mind that part of the way led through some muddy paths and that she got mud caked on her feet. “It’s totally natural and good for the soles!” She remarked while Innocence more daintily made her way around the puddles’ perimeters holding up her gown to prevent it getting stained.
They were soon sitting side by side on a hillside looking over the town of Divin and the Convent where Innocence resided. ”Doesn’t this remind you of the first time?” Purity asked Innocence. Indeed it did but Innocence made no reply. This was a different time and a different place.
Purity leaned over with small traces of slightly damp grass attached to the hairs of her arms and legs and stroked Innocence lovingly on the face. “You never take your clothes off do you?”
Innocence started. “What do you mean?”
“Even though you’re in Brook, you never take your clothes off,” elaborated Purity.
“I can’t! I couldn’t!”
“Because of your beautiful prick?”
“I don’t want people to know…”
“Don’t be silly!” laughed Purity reassuringly. “I know!” She stroked her mound of unruly pubic hair. “I know only too well! And I still often think about it!” She kissed Innocence tenderly on the lips. “You were my first true love! And I still think the best!”
And so it was that Innocence gradually lost her inhibitions and her clothes and for the first time since she was in Brook she dressed in the way that seemed most appropriate. It took Purity very little coaxing to convert Innocence’s small act of daring, hidden as they were from view of other people, to full sex. Innocence’s gown became the blanket on which the two protected themselves from the discomfort of the grass and small patches of mud and became the playground on which they fucked for several frantic hours. Innocence had forgotten how much she’d needed sexual satisfaction and her balls seemed to have no shortage of semen to release into Purity’s cunt. There was no part of Purity’s body that she didn’t re-examine. She licked every rogue hair on Purity’s legs. She rubbed off the dried mud from her feet and licked the last traces off with her tongue. Purity’s mouth had developed a facility for swallowing her penis that she’d never had while the two were still at school and Innocence loved the tender squeeze of her black lover’s throat on the throbbing end of her member, causing a sudden whoosh of semen that startled Purity and almost choked her.
When they’d finished and Innocence collected together her wimple and the gown that barely disguised her still excited penis, she felt a betrayal towards her order.
“I’d sworn to dedicate my love to Jesus Christ!” She sobbed.
Purity kissed Innocence full on the mouth. “I don’t believe that the Church is the best solution for you, my dearest,” she said.
“But what is?”
“Somewhere where you’ll be accepted fully for what you are. Somewhere that you’ll feel no pain about being endowed in such an unusual way. Somewhere where you feel you belong.”
“And where is that place? In your commune?”
“Maybe. But then one person’s solution is not necessar
ily another’s!”
VII
In Which we learn about the pains of Humility; and Innocence leaves Religious devotion and we rediscover the virtues of Chastity.
When Sister Innocence had returned from Brook to her own Convent it was to find that Sister Charity’s bed in her room had been taken by a new nun, Sister Humility, who seemed to take the literal meaning of her Christian name very seriously indeed. In fact, the first time Innocence met Sister Humility she was knelt down on the floor with her robe pulled forward over her shoulders and crouched on her feet, showing her bare back and her buttocks. She was looking at Sisters Faith and Hope who were, unusually, making love to each other without the cover of their bedsheets.
This was odd, Innocence thought. Perhaps Sister Humility had a similar desire to masturbate as Sister Charity and a need for voyeurism to intensify her feelings. However, her innocent interpretation was soon disproved when with a sudden crack she saw Sister Humility’s hand pop up followed by a length of cord which slapped against her back leaving a small trail of blood. Sister Humility was beating herself.
When Sister Humility and the other two nuns noticed Sister Innocence they greeted her, and politely finished what they were doing. Sister Humility sat down on her bed, with her robe still gathered up to her neck at the back but covering the whole of her body at the front. For a woman who seemed to enjoy self-abuse she had a curiously child-like face with open blue eyes and a tiny nose. Sister Faith sat behind Sister Humility and tended to the fresh wounds that she had which were lost on a back full of scars from previous beatings that stretched from her neck to the top of her thighs. The scars were at their deepest and most frequent between the shoulders and on her buttocks.
Sister Innocence learnt that her new room-mate believed passionately in mortification of the flesh as being the means towards salvation. As a result of daily punishing her sinful lusts, she would purify her soul such that at the Rapture the Lord’s semen would arrive in her uncontaminated by other lusts. She had persuaded Sisters Faith and Hope, who cheerfully admitted an initial reluctance, to help her in her self-mortification by emulating the lust that she wished to ban from herself and which she believed she would beat out of her.
“You can see,” she admitted pointing to the many scars on her back, “that my thoughts have been less than pure and have required a great deal of humbling.”
Innocence resisted pleas by her room-mates that she either help Sister Humility in purging herself of her sinful carnal desires by emulating masturbation or sex or purge herself of such sins by similar self-mortification to that of Sister Humility. In fact, now that Sister Charity had gone she felt curiously lonely in the Convent. She realised now how much she’d needed Sister Charity’s friendship.
So, when she heard she had a visitor she at first thought and hoped that it might be Sister Charity returning from Brook. This, she admitted to herself, was unlikely as Sister Charity had seemed almost deliriously happy in her new home when they parted with a chaste kiss on the lips. She had made many new friends - many of whom shared her belief in the rightness of masturbating to thoughts of Christ’s ultimate entry into their body and soul. In Brook, Sister Charity’s views were not at all eccentric.
Her visitor was in fact Kedi whom Innocence hadn’t seen since she’d left Alice’s home. She was dressed more demurely than Innocence had ever seen her before - no doubt as a mark of respect for being in a Convent. However, the white cloth over her breasts and around her crotch didn’t detract at all from the beauty of her otherwise naked body. She sat waiting on a chair in the reception room with her legs crossed and swinging her bare feet nonchalantly back and forth. She grinned widely as Innocence came in and sat nervously opposite her.
Kedi explained that she had come to visit Innocence partly on the bidding of Chastity who was wondering how her sister was doing. She and Chastity were living together at a house they were renting in Wonderground near where Mouse and her parents lived, but she had been visiting some friends in Brook and had stopped at the Convent as it was en route.
“I thought you’d still be living with Alice and Dinah,” commented Innocence.
“Well, Alice was very jealous and possessive, was she not?” remarked Kedi. “And it was very difficult when you and Chastity have left because Alice started to get upset when Mouse began to sleep with me. I thought I ought not to cause any more problems and when Chastity has come to visit me and said we can live together I didn’t refuse.”
“How is Chastity?”
“Your sister seems very happy. Much happier than when we have been together at Alice’s. She says she is very much in love with me. In fact she says she has never loved anyone as much as she loves me now. But she says she loves you very much. And she is very much thinking of you now. Are you happy?”
Innocence nodded, but she felt that perhaps she didn’t express quite as much conviction as she might have done. Kedi gazed sympathetically into Innocence’s eyes and her grin took on a slightly sadder tinge.
“Do you think you like to be a nun? I have been very surprised when I had been told you become a nun. It must be strange for you.”
“Why strange?”
“With your special gift,” Kedi said without embarrassment. “And the life you and Chastity have led together: it has not been life like many nuns. Are you not supposed to be a virgin?”
“I am a virgin!”
“Perhaps,” said Kedi diplomatically. “But Chastity thinks that you must find it more difficult as one who has known what it is like not to be a virgin or not very like one and to be a nun. Are you sure you are happy?”
Innocence nodded ferociously. “As long as I serve my Lord I am happy,” she said fervently.
“Why?”
“Because I know that when I die I shall be raised to Rapture and He will enter me and possess me and cover me with his Holy Semen and push his Holy Member deep inside me!”
“Won’t that be painful for you!” laughed Kedi. “And anyway I thought you have preferred the love of a woman.”
“Jesus Christ the Lord is different,” insisted Innocence.
“It is the first time I have heard that He is a woman,” smiled Kedi.
Kedi and Innocence continued talking in the reception room and then, with the Mother Superior’s permission, the two went for a walk in the woods around the Convent. As soon as Kedi felt that they were out of sight, she took off her clothes which she complained were uncomfortable and she walked along naked with Innocence holding her clothes in one hand and her free arm around Innocence’s waist. Then, without warning, she let her clothes drop, wrapped her arms around Innocence more passionately and pushed her tongue deep inside Innocence’s mouth. Taken aback Innocence reciprocated, but then she struggled free.
“I can’t!” she protested. “I’m saving myself for the Lord!”
“And just what have you got left to save?” asked Kedi, not put off at all, putting her hands inside Innocence’s gown and grabbing her suddenly erect penis.
And so it was that Innocence found herself making love with incredible passion with her sister’s lover and as the sweat poured down her breasts and the salt was licked off by Kedi’s tongue, reflecting on the commitment she still felt towards the Order.
“Perhaps you should ask your Mother Superior to visit Chastity and me,” suggested Kedi afterwards as they sat naked in the corner of a field by a small pond. “If you still wish to stay in the Order after you have stayed with us, then you will know for sure the extent of your commitment to your faith.”
“But I’ll be misled!”
Kedi laughed and licked Innocence’s ear with her tongue. “We can only hope so!”
Sister Innocence’s Mother Superior was very saddened when Innocence confessed to her doubts that serving the Order was best for her and accepted Kedi’s advice that Innocence visit her sister and her.
“We will of course pray for your soul and the hope that whatever decision you make that you will be ready to receive t
he Lord in Body and Soul at the Final Coming.”
Innocence nodded meekly, and said that she hoped that the Lord would come over all the members of the Convent at the Final Reckoning. Innocence left Sisters Faith, Hope and Humility feeling uncertain as to whether she’d ever see them again. She then rushed out and off to the railway station as fast as she could to hold back her thoughts and her tears.
Her train journey to Wonderground took her by train, but she knew when she’d entered the district as the dress of the people there were just as Kedi had described. The men wore double-breasted suits and the women nothing but stockings, suspenders and stilettos, except for thick scarves that covered most of their breasts and large floppy hats that covered most of their faces. The quite disturbing effect Innocence found was that attention was diverted to the vaginas of all the women. None of these were shaved, as had been an earlier fashion, but she could see that many women had jewellery attached to them. Innocence felt as inappropriately dressed as when she was visiting Brook, but then she was a nun and in her Order it would have been ostentatious to wear such clothes.
Innocence used a street map supplied by Kedi to find her way through the suburban tree-lined streets - each identical to the last - to find her way to the house where her sister and her lover were staying. As she walked, her flat sandals assisted her stride substantially better than the teetering heels of most other women. When she found the house, it was just one of many in a suburban terrace distinguishable most by the poorer state of the paint on the front door and a poster sellotaped to the inside of a window demanding equal rights for blacks.
“Is this it?” wondered Innocence checking the number of the house against the address Kedi had supplied her and then ringing the doorbell. A muffled farting noise signalled some rustling inside and the pushing aside of a few locks. Then as the door opened she saw her sister dressed herself in the stilettos, suspenders and stockings of the district, but otherwise typically naked. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail and flopped over her shoulder down to her breasts.
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