Indebted to the Vampires

by Lilly Wilder

  “I have to tell you something else as well,” I said. “My aunt came to me in a dream last night.”

  Arthur tensed and he clasped his hands together. He tilted his head to the side.

  “What did you see?” Tension was present in his voice.

  “It was horrible. It was her death.” My voice cracked with emotion. Arthur leaned back and exhaled deeply. He smoothed down his shirt.

  “What did you see?”

  “Just a stake in her stomach. Her reflection in a cracked mirror. I didn’t see who killed her. I just felt…everything.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said. “Reliving a death is one of the things we wish we could prevent, but the connection that runs through Slayers is something that nobody has ever been able to have control of. It was a tragedy and let’s hope you never have to relieve it again.”

  “But that’s just it. Part of me wants to, I got this strange feeling, like she was trying to tell me something. I have no idea what it could be. I want to see her again so that she can tell me what she needs to tell me.”

  “I don’t want to be patronizing, but I’m wondering if you’re projecting a little bit here. I’m not sure that’s how the connection works and maybe you’re looking for a message where none exists. Haven’t you told me before that these echoes are pretty much random messages you get and there’s no rhyme or reason to them?”

  “I did think that, but maybe I just wasn’t as used to getting them. I was trying to think of her before she appeared, and then she did. I know it was horrible and painful, but I really feel like there’s something she wants me to know. It’s just so elusive.”

  “Elsa, you shouldn’t fixate on things you can’t control. I’m sure if there was anything your Aunt wanted you to know she would have put it in the letter she left for you, or she would have told me so that I could have passed on the message. I know you’ve always been concerned about your fractured link with your family and I’m worried you’re trying to force one where it doesn’t exist. There are plenty of things to worry about in the real world without having to trouble yourself about some mystical way of communicating with people who have passed on. Your Aunt was a Slayer and what happened to her was tragic, but it did happen and we must move on. There is no going back in life. I wish that wasn’t true, but it is. There are plenty of things I wish I could take back, but we have to keep moving forward and we have to try to learn from the mistakes we make.”

  I could tell from the tone of his voice that he wasn’t interested in discussing the philosophical implications of the Slayer’s lineage and how the remnants left in each Slayer might be able to transfer messages or emotions. It was something that anyone who didn’t experience it couldn’t understand. He knew about it in theory, but there was something so real and vivid in the dreams that gave it this authentic feeling. I wasn’t going to debate it with him, but I thought he was wrong in one respect. My Aunt wouldn’t have been able to give me any message if she had only thought of it moments before she died. This was the only way she could contact me, and it might have been important.

  I didn’t care what Arthur said, I was going to try and get in touch with her again.

  “Have you been having any other echoes from other Slayers?”

  “No, just that one,” I lied. I wasn’t about to tell him about the other dream when I was still trying to make sense of it myself. He would never talk about the possibility that a Slayer might have taken vampires in some sort of harem. But the answers were out there somewhere, and I had to figure out a way to find them. I had to get access to his books.

  “I was thinking though,” I said in a way that made it seem quite nonchalant, “that I’d like to learn more about my ancestors. I know you’re protective of your books, but would you happen to have one that has my lineage? I thought it might make me a better Slayer if I knew what the ones who came before me accomplished. I feel as though it would give me a better grounding for the future as well. I don’t want to insult you, but I think it’ll be a lot different learning from a Slayer. As much as you know, you’ll never know what it’s really like.”

  “As much as I hate to admit it, this is true,” he said. He tapped his finger against his chin as he considered my proposal. “One of the books that recently arrived at the library is one such book. If you like you may visit it, but please be careful because these books are delicate and if any harm should come to them…”

  “Arthur, what do you think I’m going to do? I promise that I’ll be careful,” I said, trying not to squeal inside. I thanked him and made a point to get to the library as soon as possible.

  Chapter Eight

  The library was an old building in the heart of town. I had finished my studies at the academy for the day and was glad to be discovering something about my past. The day had gone by without incident; I only encountered Julia a few times and each time she had been so far away all she could do was give me a glower, rather than any snide comments. I only saw the boys briefly and I was glad of this because I flushed bright crimson when I saw them, after their faces had briefly appeared in my dream. I wanted to speak to Adam, to talk to him about the previous night, but he was nowhere to be found and I didn’t have time to search for him. I’d see him again soon and talk to him. As much as I liked him, he was his own man and I saw more of a potential of a relationship with either Josh or Troy.

  Arthur had so many books he had to rent out a room at the library where he could store the rare volumes. His generous stipend from the council allowed him to do this, and the library seemed happy to have rare and obscure books in their collection. I mentioned my name and that I was a guest of Arthur and I was shown into the room. Apparently he had already called ahead and told them which book I was able to read. The others were all kept in glass cases and cabinets under lock and key. To many it would have seemed like too much fuss to keep books safe, but Arthur had explained to me that books had knowledge and knowledge had power. In the wrong hands information could be the downfall of civilizations, could dethrone kings and shift power. It was important to keep them safe, especially because if these were destroyed then all the knowledge they contained would be destroyed to, and with them would go my family history.

  The librarian who showed me into the room was a small, timid man who reminded me of Arthur, if he had been in an emaciated state. He looked as though he didn’t leave the library at all; his face was pale, his hair was wispy, and he spoke in a whisper that was so light I had to strain to hear it, and more often than not I just nodded along in the hope that he was saying something I should agree with. He wore plastic gloves and carefully withdrew the book from its resting place. Its cover was tattered and green. The words had long since faded. The spine creaked as he opened the book, using tweezers to turn the pages. He handed me a fresh pair of gloves and the tweezers.

  “Be gentle,” he said. “Too much pressure and the pages might turn to dust before your very eyes, and Arthur would not be happy.”

  I assured him that I would be careful. I waited for him to leave before I investigated the book myself. I didn’t want anyone else to know what I was looking at. This was for my eyes only. It was my family after all; I figured that was a privilege I could afford myself. I used the tweezers to turn the pages and saw my family name etched onto the first page, although it had been spelt different; ‘Karpentar’. The ink was faded and the way it was written meant I had to decipher it rather than read it. I pored over the book, breathing in the musty smell of the brown pages, listening to the book creak with the groan of centuries, like an old man who struggled to rise from his chair.

  There were names of women I had never heard of before, and for the first time in my life I experienced a sense of awe at my family. Since I had been alone I never had a sense of how many people were a part of my family, but seeing them all written down in this book was amazing. Each of them was related to me. I wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for these women, and it m
ade me think of the future and all the people who wouldn’t be born if I never had a child. It was humbling and also made me feel guilty in a sense. All of these women had had full lives, but it had ended up in me. I was the last one of the line, the one that everything now depended upon, and I didn’t think I could live up to them. I wondered about their lives, about their thoughts and feelings. Had they felt the same things as me? Were we bonded by more than blood? I read as much as I could, although most of the writing was faded and impossible to read.

  I wasn’t entirely sure what I was looking for. I suppose what I really wanted was to know which ancestor it was whom had strayed from the Slayer tradition and took vampires as lovers rather than killing them. Unfortunately, that information wasn’t easy to find as it would have been buried in so much small writing, and given that it was unlikely anyone would have noted down that scandalous behavior anyway. It was more likely that this news would have been swept under the rug in the hope that it would disappear and never see the light of day again. But nobody could silence the connection between Slayers. I wondered how many had experienced the same dream I had, and if they had, would they have told their companion? Since Arthur had been surprised I assumed that either my aunt hadn’t experienced the same dream, or hadn’t told him about it, but since they were so close I assumed it was the former. The whole thing was shrouded in mystery and I wished I had more control over these dreams so I could actually glean the information I wanted rather than having to go by what was given to me.

  However, even though the dream was vague I still had some clues to narrow it down. From the castle surroundings and the clothing I knew it was medieval times, which meant it was a long time before the bloodline spread to America. All I had to do was look back around that particular timeframe and try to see if anyone looked or felt familiar. I hoped that when I reached the right name I would feel some sort of sensation, given that I had been inside this ancestor’s head, but nothing presented itself to me. I was beginning to get frustrated and had to fight the urge to frantically turn through the book because I didn’t want to rip the pages apart.

  Then, I found something strange. I turned one page and glanced towards the middle of the spine. A page had been torn out. There was just a serrated line where the parchment remained. I stared at it, dumbfounded for a few moments. It didn’t make any sense. Arthur would never be this careless with a book, and he certainly wouldn’t have accepted one that was given to him in this condition. Like he said, knowledge was power, so presumably whatever was on this page was damning, and I felt sure that it was from the ancestor I had channeled in my dreams. But why had it been torn out? And who had torn it out? Arthur was so protective of his books that he surely wouldn’t have let anyone else touch them, which only left one possibility…he was the one who had torn it. But I didn’t know how to handle that. If I couldn’t trust Arthur then who could I trust?

  With a lump in my throat I closed the book and placed it back in the cabinet. The gloves came off with a snap and I hurried out of the room, my mind swirling with paranoid ideas. Something was happening. My ancestors were trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what.

  *

  I didn’t go home for a while, not sure what I was supposed to say to Arthur. I didn’t know whether to be straight with him and tell him that a page was missing from the book. For all I knew it might have been something innocuous, but he was so careful with his books and with the phone call I’d overheard I started to suspect that something was amiss. He was so ready to brush away the memory echoes of my dreams it was almost as though he didn’t want me to investigate them. But why? Was there something for my own protection, or was there something he was hiding from me?

  There was still that feeling that was present in my aunt’s memory as well. The more I thought about it the more I thought I realized what it was. I hated to even think the word, but if there was one I had to use to describe it, it would have been betrayal.

  *

  I walked around the city for a long time. I was patrolling for vampires, but only half-heartedly, as my mind was occupied. I tried to not be paranoid, but it was difficult when Arthur was so obtuse sometimes. There were certain things he withheld from me, like exactly how my aunt died, and other things about my lineage. I wasn’t sure how to confront him, or even if I should. I had no allies upon whom I could call, nobody in the organization I could ask for advice. I tried to tell myself that I was being stupid because Arthur had taken care of me. What could he possibly gain by lying to me? He had only ever looked out for my wellbeing and safety, I was probably just being stupid.

  And yet, I couldn’t shake this niggling feeling that I was missing something. It was like a scratchy feeling at the back of my throat or an itch that just wouldn’t go away. I couldn’t move on from it, and I couldn’t face him either. I stayed out all night, still endeavoring to find the lair of vampires that plagued this city, but I could still only find the most feral and mindless beasts that roamed the streets trying to slake their thirst for blood. I took them all out and felt good that I was saving some people from certain doom. These vampires weren’t aware enough to turn anyone, they just fed and drained life from the city, leaving empty bodies behind. The trail was cold though and I had no idea how to find the masters and rid the city of their evil. There seemed to be no pattern to these feral vampires; they were spread out and I didn’t know how to narrow the search. Vampires were sly creatures and they wouldn’t just come out in the open for me. I had to be just as crafty as them and figure out a way to set a trap. I had to try and goad them into revealing themselves, otherwise they would just hide in the shadows and continue turning innocent people, increasing their numbers. Vampires were, on the whole, patient beings and they always liked playing the long game. They could easily distract a single Slayer with these feral beasts and not ever have to worry about engaging me in combat themselves. While I was busy cleaning up the trash they could continue with their schemes and all they’d have to do is wait for me to grow old and die, because although I was an enhanced human I didn’t have an immortal lifespan.

  The night had frustrated me, but it had also helped me clear my mind. I realized that no matter what was going on with Arthur and the book and the phone call, it didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. My main focus was still in trying to stop the vampires from influencing the world and hurting innocent people, so that’s what I had to do, and in order to do that I needed Arthur’s help.

  “I was worried something had had happened to you,” he said, when I finally returned just as the dawn sun was rising. There was no point staying out beyond dawn since I would never catch a vampire in the sun.

  “I just wanted to blow off some steam. I had a lot on my mind.”

  “Did you find the library useful?”

  I glanced at him, wondering if this was a test.

  “It was, actually, but I wish there was a better way for me to find out about the people who went before. Most of the writing was difficult to decipher.”

  “It does take a trained eye to figure out these things. You seem stressed, are you sure you’re going to be okay for class when you’ve had such little sleep? I know sometimes it can seem like you’re superhuman, but you need rest just like everyone else.”

  “I know,” I snapped, “I’m just frustrated at this whole thing. It feels like I’m not getting anywhere. These vampires are like rats. I kill twenty and then twenty more come out of the sewers and I’m not getting any closer to the ones behind all this. I’m spending my nights out there and I’m not making any progress. Surely there’s something more we can do?”

  “All we can do is wait and hope that they make a mistake. This is a patient business. We can’t afford to be sloppy and most of a Slayer’s work is to control the vampire population. I know these feral vampires aren’t the masterminds but they still pose a threat to humanity and they must be stopped.”

  “I don’t want to just be on crowd control Arthur. I wa
nt to do something meaningful. I want to actually make a difference. What’s the point of doing this if it’s not going to change anything? It’s like we’re just fighting the tide and I’m just treading water until the next Slayer comes along, and they’re going to do the same thing. We have to do something to draw them out. We have to be proactive, not wait for them to make a mistake, because they’re not going to make a mistake. Right now they’re confident because they know we’re too few to pose a threat to them. They’re not going to take any risks because they don’t have to. We need to force their hand, to draw them out, to make them realize that they’re in danger.”

  My voice had risen to where I was almost shouting, which I didn’t realize until I had finished speaking. Arthur waited until I had taken a couple of deep breaths to calm down. He placed his hands on his lap and considered the matter for a moment. I was sure he was going to say that we needed to stay safe and shouldn’t take any risks because the vampires were dangerous. It always seemed as though the Slayers were on the back foot and fighting a losing battle, and I was tired of it.

  “What did you have in mind?” he asked.

  His answer took me by surprise and I blinked slowly.

  “Excuse me? Do you actually agree with me?”

  “I think that what you say has merit. It is frustrating to never make inroads and while we’re busy doing all this groundwork they’re carrying on with their schemes. I have to agree with you that they’re never going to show themselves unless we force them. So I’ll ask you again…what did you have in mind?”

  I paused. “I have no idea. I didn’t actually think you’d agree with me so I didn’t think we’d get this far. I suppose we could try and send a message out and hope they got it? Or maybe we could use me as a trap…they might be tempted at the chance to get their hands on a Slayer.”