Indebted to the Vampires

by Lilly Wilder

  As I suggested this Arthur’s expression changed dramatically. His face was locked with tension and he immediately shot the idea down.

  “There’s no way that’s happening. It’s too risky.”

  “But you just agreed with me that we have to take a risk to get them to come out!” I protested.

  “Not a risk at your expense. I’m not going to lose another Slayer so soon, especially not when there’s nobody else in your bloodline. You’re the last Carpenter, Elsa, you need to keep that in mind.”

  “But it would be a trap. We could plan it so that I’m safe and when they’re lured out we spring the trap and make sure that they can’t get their hands on me. We can plan it out properly so that I’m not in any danger.”

  “I can’t risk it Elsa. I’m sorry, but the council would never let me anyway. Slayer’s are precious resources. We’ll have to think of something else.”

  I wasn’t happy that the conversation ended so abruptly. For all the power I had, I was just a Slayer. I was like a beast on a leash, only released when I needed to fight. I didn’t have any real autonomy in these matters and it annoyed me. I left in a huff and Arthur said we’d talk about it more when I returned, but he had already made up his mind and laid down the law. I knew there was nothing else I could do or say to make it different. The rules were there to be obeyed, but not every Slayer obeyed them. Whoever my mystery ancestor was, hadn’t obeyed them, and maybe that was why her page had been torn out, because the council didn’t want her setting a bad example. But maybe the rules had been in place for too long. Maybe they didn’t work anymore. Maybe they needed to be broken, and maybe I’m the one that has to do it.

  Chapter Nine

  I went to the academy and by the time my journey was over I had calmed down a little, but I was still in a bad mood. I wasn’t very good in class either, for I was distracted trying to think about how I could lure vampires out. It was going to have to be an intelligent trap because they weren’t fools and it wouldn’t be easy to trick them. Mr. Shackleton was getting annoyed at me, and Josh was stifling his giggles at my seeming lack of ability to concentrate. I apologized over and over again, but Mr. Shackleton’s opinion of me wasn’t getting any better.

  “Wow, you really know how to piss him off. I don’t think he’s ever going to take a liking to you now,” Josh said after class.

  “I know,” I groaned, leaning my head back against the wall.

  “Why were you so bad today anyway? What’s on your mind?”

  “It’s nothing,” I said, hating that I couldn’t talk about it with him even though I wanted to.

  “You can tell me. I’m not always the best with answers but I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

  “No, it’s fine, really.”

  “Okay,” he said, and sounded disappointed. I hated having to push him away and didn’t want this to become my life. He turned to walk away, presumably figuring that I wanted to be alone, but I called him back.

  “Wait,” I said, “it’s just…I have this problem at home. Do you ever really want to do something but you just get told no? Even when you know it’s a good idea?”

  “I guess that’s the bane of being our age. People don’t give us enough credit. They keep saying we should show some independent thought, but when we do, we’re scorned and get told that we should do it another way.”

  “Exactly! And yeah, it might be a little risky, but it’s my risk to take. I’m just so frustrated that sometimes I seem so powerless.”

  “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course, I mean, I live here for goodness sake,” he spread his arms out wide to gesture to the school. “It’s not like I get much freedom. We have a curfew and lots of rules. Sometimes I just want to run away, so I know what it’s like to live as a free man.”

  “Why don’t you?”

  His head dipped and he shrugged. “The world is a big place. It’s easy to get lost out there. As bad as this place is, at least it’s home. It’s familiar. I know I’m safe here. But I’d say if you really believe in yourself then you should go for it and do what you like. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission after all,” he said.

  I smirked. It was a good saying, although I wasn’t sure forgiveness would be forthcoming.

  Unfortunately, our conversation was cut short as Josh had to get to another class, but before he left he invited me to a game later.

  “Game? What game?” I asked in ignorance. Apparently Troy had a game of basketball against another academy. It must have been what he was practicing for. I nodded my head enthusiastically, eager to see Troy in action and spend some time with Josh too. He said that Adam was going to be there as well. I wondered if Adam had told Josh and Troy that we had kissed. He didn’t strike me as the gossiping type. I wanted to speak to him first anyway to see exactly where things stood. I asked Josh where Adam was, making an excuse that I needed to talk to him about something in botany class. Josh said that Adam was in his room.

  *

  It was my first time visiting the dormitories and I felt like something of an intruder. The hallways were lined with rooms and most of the doors were open. The soft hum of conversation and music drifted through the hallways. Some of the rooms had large gatherings of people. Some of the doors had signs on them. There were notice boards throughout the corridor with various policies and advertisements on them. I walked tentatively, wondering what it would have been like to live here instead of staying with Arthur. It seemed like a thriving community of its own, just like the orphanage had been.

  I passed one door that had a large notice on it saying that entrance was by invite only, by order of Julia. I snorted and shook my head. She acted as if she was royalty or something. I didn’t care how important her parents were, someone needed to take her down a peg or two.

  Adam’s room was just a few doors down from Julia, who was thankfully nowhere to be seen. I would have been quite happy had I not seen her for the rest of the semester.

  Adam’s door was ajar. It was dark; the curtains were drawn and the only illumination came from the flickering light of his lamp. I knocked lightly and called out my name. I stepped in and heard shuffling as Adam rose from his resting position to sit upright on the side of his bed. He looked surprised to see me. Given the state of the room I got the impression that he didn’t get many visitors. Clothes were strewn everywhere. The room smelled musty, as though he never let fresh air in, and it was cluttered with small trinkets and ornaments.

  “Elsa?”

  “I hope you don’t mind me dropping in.” I closed the door behind me and went towards the curtain. “It’s so dark in here I can barely see you. Do you mind if I open a curtain?”

  “Just a little, my eyes are sensitive. I prefer the dark,” he said. I opened the curtains a crack. A shaft of sunlight spilled over the carpet and I immediately felt the warmth. Adam stayed on the bed, lurking in the nook he’d made for himself. Specks of dust hung in the air and I shook my head. The nuns at the orphanage would never have stood for this level of cleanliness, but I wasn’t here to lecture him about that.

  “I wanted to talk to you about the other night,” I began. Adam’s head dropped.

  “I figured you would. It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything. As far as I’m concerned it never happened. It might as well have been a dream, given that it happened at night in the garden. I just like being with my flowers anyway. I’m not so good with people.”

  “No, Adam, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about at all. I’m not ashamed of what happened. It was nice. I just…I wondered if you wanted to spend some more time in the garden…just the two of us?”

  “Nobody has ever asked me that before,” he said, blinking at me.

  “Well, I’m asking now.”

  He licked his lips and I wondered why he had to take so long to consider my proposal. It seemed like a simple thing to answer.

 
; “I don’t think that’s such a good idea Elsa. I mean, I enjoyed it and you’re…well, you know. I just…I’m not the best with people. I like being with my flowers. I understand them and they understand me. It’s…uncomplicated. Being with other people makes my head hurt and I…I’ve hurt people before. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t hurt me Adam. I’m not saying we should jump into anything. I just think you’re cool and interesting, and I’d like to spend more time with you.”

  “I can. As friends. With the others. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be in the garden together anymore.”

  I felt a flush of disappointment. An awkward silence descended on us. There was nothing else I could say, really. It wasn’t like I was going to force him to spend time with me, I guess I was just a little disappointed that it had turned out like this. I thought I was getting through to him, but he seemed to be in a world of his own. Maybe it was best that he stayed with his flowers. However, I was really interested to learn who he had hurt and how.

  I was about to leave when he asked me to close the curtains, to which I obliged him, but when I opened the door Julia was passing and shook her head. She barely took one look at me before she marched off with her cronies in tow. Angelica looked at me with the same level of derision as Julia had, while Aaron and Tommy briskly walked behind in the girls’ wake. Now, although Julia hadn’t done anything to directly offend me this time I was still annoyed at all the other times she had treated me with such disdain, and I hated the way she walked by me without so much as a hello. She didn’t have to like me, but she could at least be civil, and I wasn’t in the mood to let this go without saying something.

  Julia got away with far too much in Angel Academy and nothing was ever going to change if people didn’t stand up to her. I wasn’t going to get violent, but I also wasn’t going to let her get away with behaving like this. She had to realize that she didn’t have free reign over everyone in the school and she couldn’t treat people as though they were just objects destined to distract her.

  I marched out of the room and walked past Aaron and Tommy. Julia and Angelica made a beeline straight for Julia’s room, but just as she was about to open the door I cleared my throat. They both looked back. I put my hands on my hips and glowered at her.

  “What do you want?” Angelica sneered.

  “I want to ask why you gave me that look back there. You know, there’s a way to treat people with respect and I don’t care if you don’t like me, but I’m tired of the way you’re treating me. I’m sorry that I crashed into you that first day, but that’s no reason to hate me, and you can’t just walk around here treating everyone like they’re beneath you. You’re not special. You’re just like the rest of us and there’s no reason we can’t all get along. Stop treating people like shit.”

  “This really isn’t the time,” Angelica warned, but my hackles had risen and all the frustration had boiled over. Julia still had her back to me and I was even more annoyed that she didn’t seem to deem me worthy of her attention.

  “Oh yes, it is time. It’s long past time,” I said. I pushed past Angelica.

  “Seriously Elsa, just leave it,” she said, but nothing was going to stop me from getting to Julia. I forced Angelica out of the way, who was no match for my Slayer strength (at this point I wasn’t caring about hiding myself. I figured one hefty shove wasn’t going to be enough to give anything away). I reached out and grabbed Julia’s shoulder, twisting her around. I was just about ready to rant at her and give her a piece of my mind, but when she turned around I saw the tears in her eyes. Her makeup ran down her cheeks and left dark trails, her cheeks were red, and she was shaking. The entire corridor had been roused by the commotion and now saw her utterly vulnerable.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, taken aback by the sight of Julia like this. I wasn’t even sure if she was capable of showing any emotion other than anger. Her hands curled into fists and I thought she was about to scream, but then she spun on her heels and walked into her room, disappearing from view.

  “She just found out her parents died. The last thing she needs is you having a go at her. You really pick the right time don’t you Elsa? Just leave us alone. Nobody wanted you to come here,” Angelica said. She and the two boys followed Julia into the room and slammed the door behind them. I was left crestfallen. I looked around, but nobody offered sympathy and I didn’t know exactly what to do. It was just a case of bad timing, but I felt the pain more than most.

  I hung my head and left the dorms. Part of me wanted to knock on the door and apologize, but I knew Julia wouldn’t want to see me. I didn’t care how much of a bitch she was, nobody deserved that.

  *

  I was feeling numb when I reached the gym. Josh waved to me and I sat by him. I ran my hands through my hair and he could see that I was shaking. I told him what had happened and he let out a long rush of breath.

  “I mean, it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t to know.”

  “I know that,” I said, “I just can’t believe I put my foot in it that badly. I just had to go on the crusade and try and fix something that didn’t need fixing. God…I feel like such a fool. As if she needed another reason to hate me. I want to apologize, but I know she’s not going to accept it. If someone had done that to me when I found out my parents died I don’t know what I’d do.”

  “I wouldn’t think about it too much,” he said.

  “How can I not?” I asked. The more I thought about it, the more my soul ripped open inside me. I had never been perfect, but I had always sworn that I would never be cruel to anyone who had been through the same thing I had. “Here I go again, charging into something without thinking, I’m just a fool. I should never have gotten involved. I should have just let things lie.”

  “It was good that you got involved, it was just unfortunate timing,” Josh said.

  His words didn’t provide me with reassurance though. We were sitting on the bleachers in the gym. People were swarming around us, filtering in to enjoy the game. A few players were on the court warming up before the match. The cheerleaders were stretching and making their final preparations before their performance. A few teachers stood by the sidelines and marshaled everyone around. A few people stared at me, having witnessed what just happened. I wanted to crawl away somewhere dark and damp and just push everything aside. There was a lump in my throat that wouldn’t disappear no matter how hard I tried to swallow and I began to tremble. Josh sensed that something was wrong and he put his arm around me. I was suddenly enveloped in his warmth and his strength. It was as though somehow he transferred it to me. He squeezed tightly and my head rested against his shoulder. His body was steely and strong, comforting and manly. I closed my eyes and for a moment all my troubles seemed to drift away as though they were being carried by a summer cloud. All I wanted was to turn back time just for an hour or so and stop myself from making such a mistake.

  “She’s never going to forgive me for this,” I said, eventually. “She’s never going to forget it. I know I wouldn’t.”

  “You don’t know what’s going to happen. She might have to go back home. There’s no sense in worrying about anything until it happens, especially when it’s out of your control.”

  Arthur had said similar things to me. They were difficult to remember though. Even though I was a Slayer I was still just a teenage girl with all my flaws and fractured mind. All the difficulties of my youth came flooding back. Every conflict with another child affected me greatly, because they always moved on, by literally moving on. They always got picked by a family, but I didn’t. I stayed at the orphanage and it always felt as though I was being punished for being naughty, like somehow all the adults knew I was too wicked to be a part of a happy family.

  And now I felt the same thing. This academy, with all its children and its dorm rooms, felt like the orphanage. I knew deep down it wasn’t, but it didn’t help me either way. And now Julia was an orphan. I remem
bered what Troy had told me about Suzie. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to stop myself from fighting back, if Julia really came at me and wanted revenge. I could see everything slipping away, crumbling before my eyes. I could see myself being thrown out of the academy and then where would I be? With Arthur; fighting an endless fight against the undead and no hope of anything changing any time soon.

  I think Josh sensed that he wouldn’t be able to say anything to make me feel better. We sat there quietly. I sensed a few murmurs from people passing by. Word spread quickly around here, and soon everyone would know what I had done. I longed for the game to begin, just to give me some distraction. There was a sudden hush, but when I looked up through blurred vision I didn’t see the teams on the court. Instead, I saw Mrs. Thorpe standing at the entrance of the gym, and she was looking directly at me.

  Mrs. Thorpe raised her hand and beckoned with one finger for me to join her. Everyone knew she was pointing at me, and I wasn’t the only one to have seen her.

  “Oh God…” I moaned as I stood up, having no choice but to face the inevitable.

  “You’ll be okay. It was just an honest mistake,” he said. As I rose his hand slid around my waist and arm, and before I left his company he squeezed my hand tightly. It felt nice, and I wished so badly that I could have just stayed in his arms. I wanted to curl around him and enjoy the feeling of his body around me. I wanted to melt into him, but instead I walked away, alone, as I ever was.

  Chapter Ten

  I’d never felt more self-conscious than when I walked down the bleachers. I heard people whispering as I passed, but I tried to hold my head high. I looked back at Josh, who was now sitting there all alone. I regretted that I had to leave him, and that I wouldn’t get to see Troy in all his glory. With each step I took tension increased and a knot of anxiety twisted in the pit of my stomach. It seemed stupid that I should feel so vulnerable. I was a Slayer. I could fight and kill creatures of the night, and here I was, trembling at the thought of a scolding from a schoolmaster.