He didn’t utter a word and watched me as I went to our bedroom, packed a bag and left, eyes trained on the floor and anger simmering through my blood.
I never thought my marriage proposal would go quite like that, and somehow it wasn’t much better than the first one in Vegas. A lesser woman would consider marriage not her thing at this point.
***
LARK
“I need your help, Alan,’’ I blurted out as soon as I reached the bar after weaving and pushing through the thick crowd, earning myself a few elbows in the ribs. My cousin was pouring one of his numerous beers on tap, something he prided himself with when his bar had been mentioned in some magazine because of it.
His light brown eyebrows shot up on his forehead. He glanced at me briefly before focusing back on his task at hand while I was slowly dying from an impending nervous breakdown. I only wanted to grab him by his shirt and force him to drop everything else. Instead, I toyed with my purse until my fingers cramped.
“What are you doing here, Lark? You don’t exactly look like you expected to come over.’’ His voice barely reached me over the noises from the patrons around.
I fidgeted at his comment and pushed through the uncomfortable feeling that I didn’t fit in here right now. With my pretty deep brown dress hugging my generous curves, my high heels and my hair put in a perfect yet strict bun on top of my head and the shining stones in my ears, I didn’t match the customers here in the relaxed and casual pub atmosphere.
“Could you spare me a minute?’’ I grabbed his arm right when he was getting ready to walk away with two beers for other customers. The drinks almost spilled over the rim of the glasses, but he managed to salvage everything.
His brown eyes locked with mine at last and the rebuke didn’t go past his parted lips. I didn’t know what he saw on my face, but it was enough to make him nod and ask for the other bartender to cover the bar on his own.
I sighed in relief.
“Come on. Let’s go to my office, but I don’t have much time. One of my bartenders quit on me an hour ago,’’ he said and pointed to the door leading to the ‘Staff Only’ area.
I trotted after him and looked around the short hall leading to his office. I didn’t know that part of the bar well. When my uncle, Alan’s father, had been working here, I wasn’t legal yet to step foot in the bar and unfortunately our family was pretty much dead set on following the law. You’d think having a bar owner in the family would be easier to get free booze, but it wasn’t. After college, Alan took over the management of the bar and gave his father the opportunity to enjoy life and take care of himself after he had a heart attack that shook us all. My uncle since then had moved away with his second wife, happy to rest for the first time in his life.
Alan fished the key to his office from his black jeans riding low enough that I got a glimpse of his underwear and unlocked the door. Without looking over his shoulder to make sure I was still following, he walked inside and went straight to his desk chair with a tired sigh.
“Today is a real pain in my ass,’’ he said and rubbed his eyes. Now that I paid attention to him, he appeared very tired with dark rings under his blue eyes and worry lines between his eyebrows.
I had always been very close to Alan, but these last few months I was afraid I hadn’t been very present for my cousin. Life had a funny way of sweeping you away on a whirlwind made of work, relationships, new friendships and the everyday life that could be a lot more time sucking than expected.
“You okay?’’ I asked and took a seat in the comfy chair in front of his desk covered by paperwork and his laptop. I ignored my bouncing knee and kept my focus on him.
He nodded and leaned back in his chair. “The bar is doing really well so I can’t complain, but I’m short on staff, and the candidates aren’t showing any promise. I end up pitching in when we’re missing someone, and I still need to work on the damn paperwork, the books, and other stuff. I’d rather not count the hours I work because I’d scare myself.’’
I pursed my lips and looked down at my lap and at my dress that had ridden up my legs showing more skin than I was used to. “If you want, I can talk about this with my co-workers. Maybe someone knows of a student looking for a job. It wouldn’t be a permanent fix, but it’s better than you working your way to your grave at barely twenty-six.’’
“I’m twenty-five still. Don’t age me yet.’’ He smiled at me, and while it usually calmed me, right now it wasn’t doing anything. I was too high strung. “What do you need my help with?’’
I winced and toyed with the hem of my dress. The soft fabric wrinkled between my sweaty fingers. I hated talking about this. In fact, since it had happened when I was just twenty-one and we made that disastrous trip to Las Vegas, I’ve banished Alan from talking about this ever again, and I must have been really scary because he’s listened for once. Unfortunately, the mess that had happened over there was still very real, and Caleb’s proposal put it back to the forefront of my mind even if the memory was fuzzy at best.
“Remember that trip to Las Vegas when we were in college?’’
Alan blinked several times owlishly and slowly nodded. “I…remember it partially.’’
I winced again. Yeah, we had all been so plastered that it’s a miracle we were able to get back to the hotel we had booked. Basically, we had almost had a really bad and cheap rendition of The Hangover.
I brought a shaky hand to my forehead. There wasn’t any way to ask this or any way to broach that subject without it being painful for me. I had made this epic mistake, and it’s time I fixed things. Honestly, it’s past time. I was twenty-five now, almost twenty-six. I’d buried my head in the sand for years, and now that Caleb had been ready to take the next step in our relationship, I needed to be an adult about my ‘marriage.’ How I hated that word when it linked me to him!
“I need to talk to Maxen.’’
Saying his name aloud sounded strange, almost as if my tongue didn’t know how to move around my mouth to form it. I hadn’t seen him or his friends since they dropped out of college right after our Vegas trip when they got the call from a label that wanted to sign their band.
Alan was still in touch with them, which was very surprising considering they’re now a worldwide phenomenon, but I’d made sure to never cross paths with them again. And it’s mostly because of Maxen Walton.
He and I, we had never been able to find an understanding. We used to always fight or bicker. I couldn’t stand him, and he felt the same about me. He’s a womanizer, a dirty asshole and he thought he’s a gift given to women and men alike even though he was openly heterosexual and proud to be a chick magnet. He’s everything I hated and yet, I married the dumbass in Las Vegas while completely intoxicated. And the funny thing was…I never got to kiss my husband!
Instead, I puked in the cheap fake flowers behind me while he was supported by his friends Dex and Beckett who weren’t any better if I remembered it correctly. It’s a wonder they had agreed to perform the ceremony at that small tacky chapel. But it’s Vegas, I supposed.
I didn’t remember how it all went down, but we were fighting, and someone joked about us fighting like an old couple and from there, I think I remembered a dare. Of course, I couldn’t back down, and it happened that Maxen was the same. That one thing we had in common—stubbornness—led us to be married.
We should have gotten an annulment or something like that, but the very next day I had taken the first plane available back to New York and to the dorms while the guys had boarded the plane we had previously booked later that same day. And then, I holed up in my dorm room, and Maxen didn’t seek me out. A couple of weeks later, I heard they signed with a label based in LA and Alan told me they took off.
So, I was married to a man I had never kissed, a man that I hated and who I hadn’t seen since that drunken debacle in Las Vegas. And now he’s a famous drummer. Seriously, that’s just messed up.
“Maxen?’’ Alan’s voice sounded both su
rprised and curious. “Why do you…’’ He shook his head and took in my dressy dress and my perfectly made-up face. “Did Caleb propose?’’
I nodded and moaned. “I can’t believe it’s happening! You should have seen his face when I told him I’m already a married woman.’’
“I bet. It’s not often you hear your girl of the past two years and the one you live with is already married.’’
“You’re not helping,’’ I said and glared at my cousin.
I knew Alan didn’t like Caleb all that much. Both men were very different. Alan was laid back even though serious in his work. His concept of dressing up was wearing new black jeans and a jacket over a t-shirt while Caleb spent every day in a suit for work and his days off in slacks and a polo shirt. Alan wasn’t the clean-shaved type while I had never seen stubble on Caleb, even when he woke up in the morning.
“Sorry, Lark. I still don’t understand what you see in him.’’
“Good thing I’m the one dating him and about to marry him and not you.’’
His eyes went to my hands still toying with the fabric of my dress, and he frowned, his thick eyebrows darkening his otherwise soft eyes. “Where’s your ring then?’’
“In my purse in the ring box. I promised I’d fix things and wear his ring in no time. But he’s pissed at me.’’ I took a deep breath to calm down when my heartbeat sped up again. “I need to talk to Maxen and find a way to rectify that horrible mistake, so I can be with Caleb. God, I never thought I’d reach out to that asshole.’’
“Hey now, he’s not an asshole,’’ Alan retorted with a deeper frown if that’s possible. He crossed his toned arms over his chest. “He’s a good guy, and you may not like him, but at least respect him.’’
I glared right back. “I’m not here to go into a whole debate on Maxen’s worth. All I need is a way to contact him so we can settle this, Alan. Will you help me or not?’’
He kept quiet a lot longer than I was comfortable with and when I saw a devious smile twisting his lips, I knew I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. “I can’t give you his number—’’
“What! I’m not some groupie, Alan. I’m your cousin!’’
“Hey, calm down and let me finish.’’ He held a hand up, and I bit my tongue before I went into the kind of rant I was known for in the family when I wanted things to go my way. “I can’t give you his number because I think it’s something you need to do face to face. The band is in LA right now and about to launch a new song for their album coming out next month. It’s a circus for them, but I can contact their manager and arrange for you to meet Maxen over there.’’
“Why not contact him instead? You’re friends with the band after all.’’
He nodded and then shrugged as if it was the same for him. Men’s friendships were sometimes a foreign concept to me. “Their manager is the one juggling with their schedule these days. If you want to be sure you have a few minutes with Maxen, their manager is your best bet.’’
I snorted. “They can’t even keep up with their schedule now?’’
“They’re famous, Lark. They’re not the same guys from college who were tirelessly trying to find new bars to play at. They have a lot on their plate. Dex called me last week, and you should have heard him bitching about not having enough time with his girl.’’
“I can’t believe he’s settling down. I can’t remember him with a woman, and I was sure he was gay.’’
Alan laughed, and I couldn’t help but feel somehow left out about something, but I shrugged and pushed it away. I should be focusing on my own mess right now anyway. I wasn’t a part of the band’s life anymore, and that was fine by me.
My cousin calmed down and took his cell phone out, looking for something on it. “I’ll set up a meeting with their manager. Get ready to fly out to LA tomorrow. I hope you can get a few days off, but considering Caleb is your boss I’m not worried.’’
I gave him the finger and walked out. I hated his perpetual dig at Caleb and me, and I hated that I had to book myself a damn hotel room for tonight. But I suppose it’s understandable that Caleb called for a break while I sorted out my shit. But that also meant I was temporarily homeless. Single. And so damn lost.
MAXEN
I glanced at my face in the bathroom mirror one last time and dried my hands on my jeans, foregoing the dryer. I looked like hell warmed over with bags under my eyes and the unkempt blonde stubble on my face. I had been slaving with Dex, Otis, and Beckett in the studio to put the last touches on our new record and with the impending launch of our band Kinky Shine’s new song, it’s a wonder we’re able to fit in a few hours of sleep. But at least the album was ready now. Fucking finally.
I pushed open the lime green door, matching the shitty signature label’s color and came face to face with Dex who’s leaning against the opposite wall with his phone in hand. Since he started dating Harley, our manager’s daughter, blogger and mass communication genius, he had been engrossed in Twitter like the rest of us, but it’s still funny to see him using social media. My best friend, lead singer and guitarist of our band, wasn’t the most social person out there contrary to me. He’s not deemed “mysterious’’ for no reason. His one-word answers during interviews gave him that reputation. Better that than being called an asshole.
“Fuck, Dex. Stop following me around when I’m going to take a leak.’’ I shook my head and toyed with the barbell in my eyebrow.
He pocketed his phone and shrugged. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.’’
I rolled my eyes and glared at him. “I’m not using, and you know it.’’
He smirked at me and bumped his shoulder into mine. “I know. I just like pissing you off.’’
I reluctantly smiled and chuckled, but it’s nowhere near my usual booming laugh that could be heard blocks away. I had been out of rehab for three weeks now, and it’s been like this ever since. I knew why Dex was basically being my shadow when he wasn’t with his girl, but it’s damn frustrating. He felt guilty for not seeing when I started snorting coke over a year ago, and I ended up in rehab before it went south for me, but it changed something in our band’s dynamics. Before that, they all thought of me as the easy going, always smiling and laughing Maxen. Now, they wondered what I hid behind my smiles and laughs, and it’s all because of me. I couldn’t complain, and honestly, I was a lucky bastard to have such good friends.
“I can’t wait for the song to get out there. I swear Floyd is slowly digging our graves with how much stuff he’s scheduling.’’ I rubbed my face and followed Dex back toward our manager, Floyd’s office, down another hall painted in that ugly ass green I couldn’t stomach. I knew for a fact that Otis thought this color was dangerous for his health, but it was because it reflected the light harshly and our friend, bassist and backup singer, often sported a hangover.
“We’ve been chilling all summer. We have a lot to catch up on after we canceled our summer tour.’’ Dex clasped a hand over my shoulder as a comforting gesture. He knew how I felt about the summer tour. When my secret addiction became not so secret to the band and our manager, they all decided I needed to go to rehab and I did. But it happened to be a couple of weeks before our summer tour through the US. We had told the media and our fans some BS regarding our need for a real break to better focus all of our attention on composing our next album, and by some miracle, it worked. Nothing leaked regarding my drug abuse and my stay at the posh rehab center Dex found for me. But now, we were back in the thick of our job, and it was damn hard to go back to what was my normal life after two months talking about myself and my addiction with doctors and other addicts.
I could safely say that even though getting high could be tempting still, I’d do anything to never, ever go back to rehab. I shuddered at the thought.
“Do you know what Floyd has to tell us still? We’ve been in his office for two fucking hours already going through our made up answers for the past summer. I’m dying to go back home and be la
zy for at least one damn hour. That’s all I want, one fucking hour to sprawl on my couch.’’ I groaned loudly at the thought of chilling in front of my TV and looked away from the young woman walking past us with her hands full of files.
I didn’t need to check her out too long to know she’s fuckable, but it’s not the time for that shit. I was trying to avoid what they’ve told me in rehab; distracting myself and getting high on sex instead of drugs. Because what they said in gossip rags about me was true. I fucked left and right any and all women I found attractive. But it’s nothing new. I had always enjoyed fucking my way through my issues. When you knew how to do it right, it’s damn pleasurable and fun. Really, really fun.
I shook my head and resisted the urge to slap myself at the turn my thoughts were going.
I had been abstinent for almost three months, which was the longest for me since I had lost my virginity on my fifteenth birthday. Jerking off was nowhere near as good as a hot and wet pussy. I still wondered how Dex did it for all these years without sex, but now that he had Harley I knew the fucker spent most of his time naked at his house with her. That’s why I made sure to call before stopping by because he’d deck me if I ever caught a glimpse of his girl’s body.
“Nah, I don’t know. Maybe it’s for another chari—’’ he stopped as he opened the office door wider without knocking and blinked.
I frowned at the look of surprise on his face and turned to glance inside.
I felt my mouth open, but not a sound came out. My body burnt up in a blink of an eye. I couldn’t remember the last time my skin had tingled like it did now.
“Lark?’’ My voice finally came out in a croak that didn’t sound like me at all.
In the chair in front of Floyd’s desk was the one woman that had never shown me any interest, who had bitched at me on a daily basis for years had never quite left my fucking mind. I had never kissed her or touched her.
Maxen (Kinky Shine Book 2) Page 2
