She’s looking at the logo of Kinky Shine on the old t-shirt. It’s not as pristine as it used to be, the logo had dulled from the last three year’s worth of washing, but it still contrasted nicely against the light gray fabric of the t-shirt.
“Every time I see this logo on TV or online I’m taken aback. Why did you and the guys never have someone revamp it?’’
For a second, I was tempted to blurt the truth; that when we signed with the label they wanted to have a professional designer make a new one using the same colors, but I bitched pretty bad and said I’d walk out if anyone ever touched the logo. But I couldn’t really tell her that.
“We love the logo you made for us. We wouldn’t change it for anything.’’
She bit her lip, and it became harder for me to ignore the raging hard-on pressing against the zipper of my jeans.
“That’s nice. It seems like a lifetime ago when I was playing around with all this designing stuff.’’ She smiled ruefully and glanced up at me. For once, there wasn’t the disgust in her cerulean blue eyes I had always seen when she looked at me.
“You were talented. I don’t understand why you didn’t pursue it.’’
She shrugged and put on huge sunglasses I had missed in her hand. “It’s difficult to make it as a designer. But this logo got me an internship at the company I work for now. I’m more in the technical field of branding than the artistic field, but it works out well for me.’’
“If you do what you love, then it’s good.’’ I nodded toward Dex’s house next door and started walking.
Lark quickly fell into step with me, and from the corner of my eye, I saw her gaping at the mansions around in the gated community I moved in as soon as Dex bought his house. While these houses weren’t the most extravagant ones around LA, they were still inhabited by some of the richest people around.
“It’s great that you live next to Dex. You two have always been close,’’ she said, trying for small talk with a hesitant voice that made me smile down at her. But she wasn’t looking at me, and that’s probably best. I remembered her telling me once that my smile was bordering on creepy back in college. She’s the only one who ever told me something like that, but when it came from the only woman who had ever done a number on me, that stung.
“An old couple was living at my house when Dex sealed the deal on his. I used all my charms to convince them to sell to me for a very good price. And by a good price, I mean a good price for them.’’
“Your charms?’’ she scoffed at me.
I gestured at Dex’s house and let her walk ahead of me up the short paved path leading to the front door. It had more to do with the chance to look at her swaying hips and round ass than being a gentleman.
“Hey, it’s not because you’re immune to my charms that they don’t exist. Ask any woman around.’’
I rang the doorbell, and before she threw something sarcastic at me, as she’s so skilled at, Harley opened the door with a huge smile on her face. With her long brown hair piled on top of her head and her off the shoulder shirt and old pair of jeans and bare feet, she welcomed us.
“Hey, girlie. I hope you took good care of your man last night because he’s bitching about not having a minute alone with you,’’ I said and wrapped her in a bear hug she returned with her usual enthusiasm.
Dex really won the lottery with that girl. Not only is she a rock music geek, but she’s beautiful and one of the sweetest and most real women I have met in my life.
“Shut up, Maxen,’’ she replied with a good-natured laugh and a blush creeping on her face at my innuendo.
Then she turned to Lark who was watching the exchange with a funny look on her face. If she thought I couldn’t be friendly with a woman, then she had a vision of me more off base than I thought. I might be a real womanizer, but I was also a friendly guy. I also knew when I met someone worth keeping in my life and Harley proved that a few months ago when she discovered my addiction and told Dex, risking her relationship with him. That’s the kind of woman Harley was, and I had the utmost respect for her.
“Sorry. This is Lark Hardin, my…uh…’’
“Wife. Yeah, Dex told me last night,’’ Harley supplied for me with a smirk she picked up from her boyfriend with an uncanny easiness. “It’s nice to meet you, Lark. I’m Harley Floyd.’’
“I’ve heard about your relationship with Dex,’’ Lark said with a sweet smile I had never been privy to.
“Argh…’’ Harley rolled her eyes and led us farther into the house where I could hear Otis, Beckett, Dex, and Floyd talking animatedly. “It’s been a whirlwind since it hit the internet with a very explicit picture of Dex and me kissing in that coffee shop. The man doesn’t know subtlety.’’
I chuckled, and Harley joined me. “Don’t complain. He’s head over heels, and he’s starting to give three-word answers instead of his one-word ones. If that’s not proof of love—’’
“Shut up, fucker,’’ Dex butted in and hit the back of my head, as he walked back in the living room from the kitchen with two water bottles in hand for me and Lark.
I laughed out loud, and it’s damn freeing, as if a part of me stepped out of a cage, even if only for a brief moment. It had been days or maybe weeks since I had last laughed like that. My friends and manager all smiled big at me as if they were proud parents of their kid’s first steps and Lark blinked at me slowly, eyes big and round, contrasting with her usual almond-shaped blue eyes.
“Let’s play some music now boys,’’ Floyd said when I had stopped laughing and clasped Beckett and Otis’ shoulders.
“What about the live radio show in New York?’’ Beckett spoke up, his frown back again. I didn’t know what’s up with him, but it looked like he’s more sour than usual. Maybe his old man was fucking him up again. But we all knew how secretive he could be. He would only talk when he wanted. We wouldn’t be able to get shit out of him until he’s ready.
“You’re supposed to open up with one of your old songs, then answer a few questions from the hosts and selected fans. After that, you’ll play the new song. That’s all.’’
Dex groaned, and we all chuckled. He’ll never enjoy interviews and PR stunts, but I get it. Sometimes doing PR stunts could be tiring and we’re all being more or less fake in these interviews, forcing some stuff to make us seemingly more interesting when deep down we’re like the average twenty-five-year-old guy out there. Somehow, it all seemed easier when I was high. Now that I was back and sober it’s harder to be the player they all saw me as. It’s not that it’s far from the truth, but considering I was currently abstinent and supposed to stay abstinent for a while, it’s harder to talk about sex and women without dying from the boner and blue balls from hell.
“Let’s go to the studio. I’d rather play music,’’ Dex said and walked to the hall leading to his built-in studio underground.
Before I followed my friends and manager, I looked back at Lark and saw her following Harley to the kitchen. “Hey, you two aren’t coming? I thought you were supposed to take some pictures for your article, Harley.’’
“We’ll be down shortly. Go ahead,’’ she replied, and both women disappeared in the kitchen.
A pang of disappointment hit me out of nowhere at knowing that Lark wasn’t that eager to see us play, to see me play. She had never praised me for my skills with the drums, but I would still dig it if her blue eyes were on me as I beat down on my kits.
LARK
I followed Harley to the huge kitchen with modern appliances in dark colors. Dex’s house, while apparently quite similar to Maxen’s, didn’t give me the same homey vibes even though somehow the atmosphere was light.
Harley sat at one of the high stools at the kitchen island and smiled at me as I followed her. She seemed like a nice person, and it’s great to see how Dex cared deeply about her. The little I had seen told me it’s reciprocal. It’s rare to witness the love between two people at first glance, and it’s heartwarming considering how closed off D
ex had always been since I’ve met him.
“We should have ten minutes or so before they actually start playing.’’ She rolled her eyes with a smile and put her phone on the table, ignoring it when it kept buzzing on the countertop. I remembered hearing that she’s a blogger and Alan told me she had been hired to help the band with their social media presence. “They spend a few minutes arguing and bantering before they tune their instruments and actually start playing. It’s been like this for the last few weeks.’’
“Months you mean.’’ I frowned and took another sip of water.
She bit her lower lip and tensed briefly before she released her lip from her teeth and smiled. “Yeah, of course. I don’t see the time flying.’’
I didn’t know her and I might not be the most perceptive person, but it’s obvious something’s off. While it piqued my curiosity, I also knew it’s none of my business. It wasn’t because I had made the band logo when I was a freshman in college and used to hang out with the guys that I was entitled to be privy to their job anymore. Strangely, it saddened me. I remembered being so delighted to know musicians even though I couldn’t stand Maxen. And I would have bet everything I had they’d become famous back then. I didn’t have a good ear when it came to music, but it’s glaring how they have something rare.
“You’ve known them for a while, right?’’ Harley asked me with a cheerful voice. Curiosity seeped into her voice, and I eyed her inquisitively.
“Is it for your blog?’’
She laughed quietly and shook her head. “Believe me, no. Since I’ve met the band, I’ve been filtering everything I write. Call it my own curiosity.’’
I smiled and remembered the guys from college. It was not that long ago, but seeing them now, it was like another life. “They used to hate attending classes, but love partying. Dex was a bit of the loner of our group of friends, but he was also very sweet with me when we would all go out. Otis was the wild one at parties and more than once we had to make sure he wouldn’t pass out drunk in some strange place. Beckett was dealing with a lot of family pressure. His parents didn’t like that he was playing music and wanted him to focus on his business classes and that’s all. He’s as driven as he used to be from what I’ve seen. Maxen…’’ I trailed off and cringed. “Maxen was a womanizer, used to take everything lightly from his classes to the mess he’d find himself when he would sleep with a girl who was already dating someone. He’s a pain in the ass of epic proportion.’’
“Yet, you married him.’’
I sighed and shook my head. “We were all drunk that night.’’
She pursed her lips, assessing me with her big green eyes and I fidgeted. It was uncanny the way she looked at me as if she could see right through me.
“You could have easily gotten an annulment. Why didn’t you? Dex says it’s because you and Maxen have a hard time facing your mistakes.’’
“You don’t believe it’s the reason.’’
She shrugged and glanced at her phone when it beeped with an incoming text. She didn’t make a move to answer it. “It’s believable for maybe a year or two, but it’s been almost five years now. And somehow I don’t think Maxen isn’t the kind of guy who doesn’t go balls to the walls to get things done.’’
I looked away, unsure of what to say. I was wondering too why I had let it drag for so long. And I may not value Maxen much, but the fact that he had his wedding band around his neck had me questioning things. My reaction to it shook me a lot too. I shouldn’t care one bit if he had kept that damn wedding band, but I couldn’t shake it.
Before I could respond, my phone rang. I couldn’t hide the sigh of relief I felt, and Harley’s smile widened. I didn’t know what there was to smile about, but I wasn’t going to ask.
I quickly located my phone in my small purse and checked the caller ID. My blood rushed faster through my veins. It’s Caleb. “Sorry, I need to answer this.’’
She nodded and stood up. “I’ll be downstairs with the guys and my father. Take your time.’’
I smiled gratefully at her and answered the phone before it went to voicemail. “Hey.’’ My voice was weak sounding, and I wanted to kick my own butt for it.
“Hi, Lark.’’ Caleb’s greeting was lacking its usual strength. “I’m calling to see when you’re going to get back to work. The Bregman project is supposed to be presented in a couple of weeks.’’
Work. He’s calling to inquire about work.
I swallowed past the growing lump in my throat and pulled the phone away when I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I should have been at work right now, should have been proudly showing my engagement ring to my co-workers and cousin, but instead, I was in LA with another man, my husband. That’s just fucked up.
“I’ll be back in a couple of days tops. You don’t have to worry about my work performance, Caleb,’’ I bit.
He scoffed through the phone, and I heard the shuffle of some papers and that annoying squeaking noise his office chair made whenever he leaned back into it. “I’m sorry, but considering you left for who knows where to look for your husband, I’m entitled to question you. Don’t you think?’’
“Haven’t you ever made a mistake when you were in college? Damn it, Caleb! I’m trying to make things right.’’ I was breathing louder now, trying like hell to keep my calm when everything in me told me I should scream in the phone.
“I’ve never married a random person in Las Vegas, that’s for sure,’’ he retorted, his voice colder. But he’s not talking louder or faster. From where I was standing, he sounded like he’s having a tough business call, nothing less, nothing more.
We fell quiet for a few seconds, enough to make me think about what Maxen told me about the press taking hold of this mess in no time. And while I didn’t want to tell Caleb who my husband was, his attitude toward me urged me to shut him up. Or maybe I just wanted a damn reaction instead of this distance as if we’re already over. All I perceived was his bruised ego, not his emotions.
“Listen, I know this isn’t ideal or anything, but I need to tell you something.’’
“What, you have a baby you’ve been hiding too?’’
I glared at the floor and tensed even more. “Oh, that’s real funny. I’m in LA right now.’’
“LA? Don’t tell me. Your husband is a loser actor waiting for his big break.’’
“No, he’s Maxen Walton, the drummer of Kinky Shine. Heard of them?’’ I fired back with a contentment I shouldn’t feel when talking about my “husband’’ to who was supposed to be my future husband. Unfortunately, my temper could easily take the best of me. I only wanted Caleb to stop judging me and making me feel like I was a screw-up. “Caleb?’’
No answer.
I frowned and pulled away my phone to look at the screen to realize he hung up on me without a damn word. I was tempted to call him back and give him a piece of my riled up mind, but I didn’t. What’s the point? It’s becoming more and more obvious that he’s pulling away from me. He didn’t give me a chance to talk things out with him, and at this point, I didn’t know if I wanted to. I came here to get a divorce so I could be with Caleb and show him he’s the only one in my heart, but I was starting to wonder if maybe I hadn't been deluding myself when it came to my relationship with him. Maybe Alan had been right all along. Caleb shouldn’t be pushing me away like this because of a mistake made before I ever met him, a mistake that until today had never had any consequences. He shouldn’t feel any different toward me. Not if he truly loved me.
“Hey, you okay?’’
The rough voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I startled. My head shot up, and I met Maxen’s green eyes. I shook my head and shrugged at the same time. I didn’t fucking know if I was okay or not.
“You heard?’’ I asked in a whisper.
He nodded and frowned. The muscles in his shoulders bulged when he clenched his fists. Slowly, he walked to me, probably waiting to see if I was going to back away, but I didn’t. I stood on
my feet next to the bar stool and watched him closing in on me until his body almost touched mine.
He’s a lot taller than me, but I didn’t tilt my head up to lock eyes with him. Instead, I kept my eyes on his collarbone peeking from the v-collar of his t-shirt with the logo on his muscled chest. When I took a deep breath to try and calm down my heart beating way too fast, I got a sniff of his cologne, something very manly and enticing.
“He’s an ass, Lark,’’ he said softly, using a voice I had never heard him use before. The air leaving his mouth when he uttered those words hit my face and down my neck. I shivered.
“I should have told him about you a lot sooner.’’
He sighed and put a hand under my chin to lift my head up. It’s the first time he’s willingly touched me. The pad of his fingers was rough from his calluses, and the heat of his skin seared me. My eyes widened when I met his vibrant green eyes. Not once did I think about pushing him away.
“Either way, he’s an ass for making you sad and for pushing you away. Don’t cry over him.’’
And that’s when I felt a tear falling down my face. The funny thing in this pathetic mess was that I wasn’t crying over a broken heart, but because I was utterly lost and comforted by a man I had spent years hating and then trying to chase from my mind.
He caught the tear with his thumb and caressed my skin softly. This huge man, strong and impressive with a brash attitude toward me showed more tenderness than any man ever showed me. And it made me weak in the knees, confusing me even more.
“I was supposed to be engaged to him, Maxen,’’ I breathed out, but once again I wasn’t pushing him away. If anything, I was pulling him closer. I brought my hands to his forearms. When my fingers touched his hot skin, and I felt the muscles under his flesh, heat pooled low in my belly.
A small muscle played in his jaw, and I knew he was pondering his next words. “You’re not supposed to do anything, Lark. If you love him, you should be engaged to him, but it’s not the same as ‘supposed to.’ It should be a natural next step.’’ He shook his head once and leaned closer to me, towering over me so much so that I couldn’t see anything else around the kitchen, but him. “So, the question is; do you love him?’’
Maxen (Kinky Shine Book 2) Page 5
