“I don’t think people listening are interested in us right now. I bet ya they’re eager to listen to our newest song,’’ Otis replied with a cocky smile as if he wasn't really worried that my stay in rehab wasn’t what we’re all afraid was going to come out.
A drop of sweat fell down my temple and lost itself in my blonde scruff-covered cheek. Fuck, we’re so screwed.
“Please, Otis. You know how Kinky Shine is a fan favorite and your fans want to know everything about you,’’ the host said with his damn smile still there. His dark eyes sought out Dex and if anything, his lips stretched wider. Fucker. “Dex, you’ve been in the headlines over the summer. How is it going with your girlfriend and blogger, Harley?’’
My best friend scowled and frowned deeper, but it didn’t take our host aback. After all, Dex had rarely smiled when doing PR stuff, if he ever smiled during an interview in the years since we were signed.
He leaned into the mic in front of him and forced a smirk out. “It’s going great. I’m lucky she stuck with me when our relationship made it to the headlines for weeks.’’
“It was very intense.’’
He scoffed and arched an eyebrow at our host. “To say the least. When your girl can’t even go to the grocery store to pick up vegetables it kind of tests a relationship.’’
“I bet, but many of your fans knew she wouldn’t go. I mean, it’s not like you’re a local band, all four of you are a worldwide phenomenon.’’
“So what?’’ Dex bit back, and Beckett elbowed him not so discreetly.
“Harley isn’t the kind of woman who cares about that,’’ Beckett supplied with his smooth professional voice. “On more than one occasion, she’s brought us back to who we really are; twenty-five-year-old guys.’’
I leaned into my mic, nodding. “Remember when she told me I should realize that I’m only doing music, not curing cancer? Fuck, that was priceless.’’
We all laughed at the memory, me louder than everybody.
“She sounds like a down to earth woman. Speaking of,’’ the host didn’t miss a beat, his eyes now on me. “It’s been a while since you’ve last been seen with a woman, Maxen. How come? The last time it was before you all holed up in the studio over the summer.’’
I cringed and chuckled lamely in the mic. I couldn’t be more obvious if I wanted them all to see/hear the discomfort I felt. I pushed away the first image in my mind of Lark and smiled my bright smile, the one I knew gave away nothing other than nonchalance. I’ve perfected it over the years. “We’ve been working a lot on this new album, and honestly, it’s been pretty intense.’’
“No mystery lady, then? Some fans from your Kinky Shiny Things, a.k.a. the official fan group, think that you’re probably seeing someone and it’s serious.’’
I chuckled again and tensed more. “I love our fans, and the Kinky Shiny Things are our most faithful ones, but they’re wrong here. There’s nothing much to say. We’re very busy working our asses off to get our new song out, and later on, the complete album, we have many apparitions to do. Honestly, we don’t have much time to ourselves, so meeting new people? Nah.’’
The host’s smile dimmed a bit for a second before it came back full force. If he thought he’d get an exclusive on gossip, he should be rethinking that. We had been doing this shit for a few years, and we knew how it all worked.
“I bet thousands of your fans are currently squealing at the news you’re still on the market.’’ Once again, I hid the cringe on my face and said nothing. “I think it’s time for you to play that new song. We’ve made your fans wait long enough, and I must say, I’m quite eager to finally hear it myself. Go ahead, guys, your instruments are ready and waiting for you.’’
We stood up, and I started relaxing a bit. While we didn’t know yet how the song would be received by our fans, playing my drums was better than being grilled by that asshole. I used to like that shit and play the game, but with my stay in rehab and my impending divorce about to make the headlines, I was strung tight. I had too much to hide now.
Dex patted my back when I walked past him to my drum kit, and I nodded at him, a shaky smile stretching my lips. I glanced at Otis and Beckett already strapping on their bass and guitar. It’s now or never.
***
LARK
I fidgeted with the hem of my simple little black dress as we got closer to the restaurant. I didn’t see any journalists around yet, that’s a relief.
“Did you really have to drag me here? Damn it, you should want to catch up with the guys on your own. You know, do something guys do when they’re together.’’
Alan eyed me with narrowed eyes and snorted. “Don’t tell me you think we get plastered and then raid the first strip joint we can find. That’d be insulting, even for you.’’
I laughed softly and shook my head. Said like that, it sounded dumb. “Will Dex’s girl be there?’’
He shook his head. “No, she’s interviewing a local band here and then will be attending their gig at a bar. Maxen told me Dex had been in a bad mood because of it.’’
“Please,’’ I said and rolled my eyes. “Their song is going viral. They all say, fans and critics alike, that it’s their best one to date. He shouldn’t be in a bad mood.’’ They were all right. When I heard the song last week when they practiced at Dex’s I had no doubt it’d be a success. I was glad I hadn’t been wrong.
“You can’t blame him, Lark. He wants to share this with his girlfriend, and it’s a good thing considering how long he’s been single,’’ Alan replied and shrugged before we reached the restaurant. The valet opened the door for us with a polite ‘good evening.’
It’s safe to say it wasn’t the first time I was eating at a fancy restaurant, but it’s the first time I was having dinner at a fancy restaurant with the band. When they used to land another gig, and we wanted to celebrate, we would go to the seedy liquor store that didn’t card us to buy a twelve pack and then sneak in the dorms with the alcohol and some greasy food. That had been our ‘fancy’ celebrations. It’s all so very different now.
Alan led me to the maître d’ with a hand on my back.
“Good evening. Do you have a reservation?’’ the maître d’ asked us with a polite smile as I detailed his suit and the restaurant’s name sewn on his jacket pocket with gold thread.
“We’re with Maxen Walton’s party,’’ Alan replied with equal politeness, but I knew him, and to me, it was obvious that he’s uncomfortable and wanted to fidget. For a man who managed a bar with a pub atmosphere, a fancy restaurant wasn’t his happy place. I wanted to laugh, but instead, I glanced around the restaurant where I could make out a few clients at different tables. From the little I saw, the tables had off-white napkins and nice candles to give an atmosphere of romantic sophistication. Obviously, the plates and silverware seemed of the best quality and sparkled under the low light and the wavering flames of the candles.
“I’m sorry, sir but—’’
Alan sighed and held up a hand to cut off the maitre d’. “We’re Alan and Lark Hardin. Please, check the list. We’re expected.’’
The maître d’ complied, and flustered a bit. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Hardin. Please, follow me.’’
He led us through the big restaurant room and my eyes wandered around. I recognized a hockey player recently retired at one table with a woman eating, an important businessman who was often featured in the business column and a few others I couldn’t place. But nowhere did I see the guys.
The maître d’ stopped at a closed door, opened it and gestured for us to walk in. Alan and I exchanged a look before I went in first.
Dex, Otis, Beckett, and Maxen were all sitting around a big round table in a private room. A private room. That’s something I had read about but never thought I’d be dining in one day.
As soon as Maxen saw me, he stood up and lost the easygoing smile he’d had while talking with the guys. “You came.’’
I blinked and saw the maître d
’ closing the door after Alan, leaving us all in the privacy of the room. “I couldn’t exactly say no to a fancy meal, could I?’’ An uncomfortable laugh escaped me as I walked to the table. Dex, Otis, and Beckett stood up to give Alan and I a hug, and I followed their lead, my eyes going back to my husband every few seconds as his own eyes didn’t leave me for one moment.
“Shit, I’m famished. I hope they serve big portions, nothing like some of these restaurants when you get out you need to order greasy food to finally sate you,’’ Alan said after he bumped fists with Maxen who laughed with him, finally looking away as we all sat down.
I didn’t know if Alan was consciously doing this, but I was left to sit next to my husband, bumping my feet with his under the table. I cringed and brought my legs under my chair and vowed to not move the whole night.
“Don’t worry, I picked this one because they’re generous. You know me, I need some actual meat,’’ Maxen said and patted his flat stomach with what I knew were tight abs under his shirt.
I quickly looked away, frowning down at my empty plate as I tried with all my might to push away the image of him, bare-chested in his kitchen in LA. Conversations around me resumed, and the guys were quickly laughing together, reminiscing about stuff from our college days and even from our very short yet eventful trip to Vegas. Now that Maxen and I were in the same room again, it wasn’t exactly a taboo subject anymore.
Our waiter, a man probably around our age, came into the room and took our orders, trying as best he could to avoid fixing the Kinky Shine members with big eyes like a self-respecting fan. I smiled at this when the waiter walked away, looking twice over his shoulder until he saw me staring at him with amusement. He blushed and quickly closed the door behind him.
“You’re going to drive away our waiter if you keep looking at him like that,’’ Maxen said softly next to me.
I turned my head toward him and realized that he wasn’t taking part in the guys’ conversation and they didn’t try to make him join them, or me for that matter. They obviously wanted to give us the opportunity to clear the air, and while it bothered me a bit, it’s also heartwarming how they could be sweet and considerate sometimes.
“It’s impossible. He’s completely in awe of you guys. I bet he’ll try to sneak in a pic with the band once we’re ready to go.’’
Maxen looked back at the door our waiter disappeared to and shrugged. “It’s weird, huh?’’
“For me, yes, but I’m sure you’re used to this by now.’’ I fidgeted with my fork, turning it around and around on itself and I watched the light from the chandelier above our heads casting a glow over it.
“It can also be difficult at times, Lark. This life?’’ He gestured around us with a big hand and I watched the sleeve of his black jacket hiking up on his thick forearm, uncovering a few dark tattoos. “It seems glamorous and exciting, but people forget the consequences we have to go through to have this.’’
I frowned and looked back down at my fingers playing with the fork before I looked back at him. “I remember that you seemed to like the media’s attention.’’
He shrugged again, and I saw a new tension weighing down on his broad shoulders. “Last year I was swimming in it, and I had a kick out of it, that’s for sure,’’ he said bitterly, his eyes now downcast.
“What’s that?’’
He gazed back at me and shook his head. “Nothing.’’
I frowned more deeply and crossed my arms over my chest. When his green eyes went down to my cleavage, I ignored the shiver coursing through my whole body and my damn breasts getting heavier with the overwhelming need for attention.
“It’s not nothing, Maxen. That’s your face for when there’s something seriously wrong. What happened?’’ In my mind, I pictured a crazy fan attacking him or one of the guys, but then I reasoned with myself. It would have made the headlines.
“I don’t want to talk about this, Lark. Please. I don’t want you to…’’
“To what?’’ I pressed him, but once again he looked away. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Dex watching us, watching Maxen. If anything, I knew Dex a bit better, and it was obvious he was getting ready to save his best friend. “What happened to you?’’
His head snapped to me, his eyes narrowed. “Drop it.’’
“Have you ever known me for a quitter?’’
“Yeah, when you hid away in the dorms after Vegas.’’
My breath got caught in my throat, and I had to hold on not to look away from him. “You didn’t seek me out either, Maxen.’’ Tentatively, I brought a hand to his forearm on the table next to me. My palm didn’t come into contact with his skin, only the fabric of his jacket, but it’s electrifying all the same. “Tell me what happened.’’
“Why do you care?’’
Good question. I bit on the inside of my lower lip softly. “I just do. Isn’t it enough of a reason?’’
At this point, I didn’t hear Alan and the other guys talking and joking around or feel the hunger in my stomach. It was like I was alone with Maxen in this room, waiting for him to say something I knew I wouldn’t like to hear, something that would change things even more.
“You already see me as a fucker. I don’t want to make things worse.’’
“Listen,’’ I said and leaned closer to him, getting a nice dose of his cologne up my nose, drawing out soft tingles all over me. “A long time ago I didn’t have a very high opinion of you, but it’s been a long time. I…overreacted in LA the other day and I acted like a brat. But in no way am I going to hold whatever this is against you.’’
He smiled bitterly and locked eyes with me. I was stunned to see fear in his green eyes. “I messed up, Lark. This past summer, we weren’t exactly locked away to make our album. I was in rehab, and that’s pretty much the main reason why we canceled our summer tour.’’
I blinked at him, unsure if the words were processing correctly in my head. I swallowed and cleared my throat. “Rehab? But…’’ I trailed off at a loss for words.
“I started snorting coke at a party once a little bit over a year ago, and after that, I guess I never really stopped.’’ He toyed with the piercing in his eyebrow. “I wasn’t going completely crazy, but when Harley found out and told Dex, it was starting to get messy. I would have my dealer over at my place and would snort several times a day. It was getting out of hand, but it took me getting into rehab to actually acknowledge it. The guys’’—he nodded at his bandmates—“they supported me. And the nurse there last week at my place to draw blood? It’s to prove to our manager, Harley’s father, that I’m clean. I swear I’m clean, Lark. I’m not going to go down that road again.’’
There were few instances when I didn’t know what to say, and this was one. Drugs. If there was one band I never thought would fall into that crap, it was Kinky Shine. I supposed I had been naïve to think it wouldn’t have happened to them.
I kept my eyes riveted to his and I was hit with a thought; I didn’t know him at all.
“Why did you do that?’’ I asked with a voice barely above a whisper.
He broke eye contact and looked down at his lap. “There isn’t a good reason. There can never be a good reason to do drugs.’’
“But there must have been a trigger. You can’t honestly tell me that it’s been the first time in four years you’ve been offered drugs and that you’ve started it out of the blue.’’
“I had some things I couldn’t face, but I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve spent two months last summer talking and talking. I’m tired of always visiting the past and dragging out my shit. Bottom line, I’m a fucking idiot for ever trying it and for seeking that high that’d make everything numb or inconsequential.’’
I put a hand on his arm and squeezed softly. Under my palm, he tensed at first before his muscles relaxed. “I’m not judging you.’’
“I see it in your eyes. You’re looking at me differently.’’ He shook his head and looked away from me.
&nbs
p; I didn’t remove my hand, didn’t lean closer either. “I just see you, Maxen. That’s all.’’
Once again he tensed, and this time, I pulled away and went back to talking with the group. Maxen did the same a couple of minutes later. All the while, my heart was pounding.
Somehow, I knew I had started something here, and I didn’t exactly know what it was or the meaning of it.
MAXEN
Our waiter walked back in the room with my credit card and his smile from earlier after I asked him if he wanted a selfie with the entire band had disappeared. In fact, he couldn’t be hiding his nervous energy if he wanted. He rounded the table and gave me my black credit card. I absentmindedly put it back in my wallet before I focused on the man fidgeting there in his work uniform. The guys and Lark all fell silent too.
“I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t say anything, but,’’ the waiter said and looked back at the door he came from. “Someone tipped the journalists. There’s a horde outside waiting for you and…’’ His dark eyes fell on Lark, and all the blood left my face at once. “Your wife.’’
“Fuck,’’ Dex muttered loud enough to cut through the deadly silence that fell around us.
I sought out Lark’s eyes and found them wide open and showing fear in them. That’s something I had never wanted to see because of me, but I had known it was coming.
“Do you have a back door we could use to leave the restaurant?’’ I asked evenly with a voice so calm and cold I barely recognized it.
“Oh shit, Harley has been calling me, but I forgot my phone was on mute since the radio station. Fuck, I’m sorry,’’ Dex said and gritted his teeth as if this mess was his fault. Fuck, either way, we’d have the journalists on us anyway.
The waiter looked from me to Dex and then back to me. “The back entrance is currently used for a delivery. I don’t know when they’ll be finished. I’m sorry, sir.’’
I put my elbows on the table and brought my face in my hands. This was a fucking nightmare.
Maxen (Kinky Shine Book 2) Page 9
