by KL Donn
“Talk to me, Thea.” My words are hushed as I try to coax her into opening up to me.
Averting her gaze, Thea takes a deep breath, and just when I think she’s going to respond to me, she sidesteps me. Turning, I watch as she gathers her blankets and pillow and walks down the hallway to toss them into a room before slamming the door shut.
“I don’t do relationships.” Her words are filled with sadness. “I don’t stay in one place long enough to even form friendships.”
“You did with Ember,” I point out. Em was thrilled to bring Thea into her life. She enjoyed the quiet girl.
“Ember was so kind,” Thea whispers, and the pain in her tone is palpable.
“She is. I bet she’d love to hear from you.”
Thea shakes her head, and when she finally looks up at me again with a smile, it’s not one of happiness. It’s filled with sorrow. “Em was the best friend I’ve ever had.” A tear slips down her face, and she wipes it away angrily.
“I have the feeling that she feels the same about you.” Slowly, I walk closer to where Thea stands. Half hidden by the darkness of the hallway, half illuminated by the light of the sun from the window.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Kol.”
“I want to learn all I can about you, Thea. I want to see you smile, hear your laugh. I’d love to hold you through the tears you’re trying to push back. I want to be your sounding board when you’re frustrated. But Thea, mostly, I really want to kiss you.” She gasps when I lift her chin so I can look into her eyes.
“I’m not built for any of those things, Kol. I’m not wired for happiness.” Her gaze slides to the side at her next words. “You should leave, forget you ever saw me again. You should find someone who’s worthy of being in love with you.” The tears she was holding in begin to fall.
“Jesus, Thea.” I pull her into my chest, and even though she fights against it, I don’t let her go. My embrace remains steadfast, and if she really wanted out, all she would have to do is step back. But fuck. “What the hell happened to you, blue eyes?”
Chapter 5
Kol
“Hey man, you alright?” Noah asks as I continue to rub my forehead. A migraine I’ve been trying to push off all fucking day just won’t quit.
“Yeah. Fine.” I don’t look up from the file I’m reading about the guys we arrested yesterday. I spent more time with Thea than I had planned this morning, and now, I’m playing catch up. Not that I regret it. She cried on my shoulder for over an hour.
Not once did she say a word. She didn’t explain. Didn’t apologize. She didn’t say anything at all up until I was finally called away. When I left her laying on her couch, a blanket wrapped around her exhausted body, she looked ready to pass out. So, I left secure in the knowledge that she’ll be there when I go back over tonight.
Noah sits on the edge of my desk. “You don’t look fine, Kol.” He offers a bottle of Tylenol when I look up to him.
Popping the cap, I shake three into my palm and swallow them down with the cold coffee on my desk. “Worried about Thea,” I tell him, glancing down at the file. When the words begin to blur, I close it and lean back in my chair.
“Thea?” His head tilts. “What’s her deal?” He stands and saunters back around to his side of the desk and starts typing into his computer. “What’s her last name?”
“Matthews,” I answer without thinking. “She’s hiding something. Someone hurt her. I’m just not sure how or why.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I look up at Noah after about a minute when he’s been silent for too long. “What are you doing, man?”
“Searching her name.” He answers so nonchalantly; I’m stunned for a minute.
“What do you mean searching her name?” I ask slowly.
He shrugs.
“Noah!” I snap and get to my feet, rounding the desk to stand behind him.
“She’s not listed anywhere, bro. Your girl’s a ghost.” She’s not in the DMV, no social security, no school records. Nothing.
“Who the fuck are you?” I mutter under my breath. I’m not looking for an answer from Noah.
Doesn’t stop him from giving me one, nonetheless. “You know what this means, right? She’s likely on the run.” While my partner is not wrong—I do believe Thea’s on the run—it's just not in the way he is thinking.
Someone has done a number on her. I recognized it the moment I met her at Ember’s show, last year. There was a terror that shone brightly in her blue orbs that I couldn’t miss. Or forget. Thea is hurting, and as much as I don’t like that she’s lied to me, I can get over it and work out how best to help her.
“What are you going to do, Kol?” Noah questions and I can tell by the storm brewing behind his eyes that he already knows. “Don’t be stupid about this. She could still be a criminal, man.”
“I don’t think so, but I’ll be careful,” I reply, clapping his back as I stand and walk past him. I have some paperwork to fill out for the district attorney’s office about the guys we caught since they’re all pleading down, then I’m going home and figuring out how to deal with Thea.
Thea
* * *
“Next, please.” I fake a smile at the next customer in line as I try to work through how to deal with Kol. He’s inquisitive, and I know it won’t be long before he investigates me. He won’t find anything because Matthews isn’t my last name.
After pushing him away this morning when he kept insisting that I tell him why I have shadows in my eyes, I know I don’t have much time before I’m exposed.
I should run.
Again.
I hate running.
The exhaustion, never knowing if I’m being tracked, not having a home base, is almost more than my young heart can tolerate any longer. I don’t want to go back to Missouri. Never again will I be able to set foot in that house or even town again, but to have roots?
That’s something I would love to build for myself. To live somewhere without flimsy walls, to have a yard, a life, friends. I yearn for the normalcy I once knew.
“Hello.” The next customer grins at me, and I recognize him.
I know that face.
Those eyes.
That false demeanor he shows to the world.
Colin Dane. Richard’s brother. A man colder than Richard himself. A man so full of menace, I would often leave when he came over. I couldn’t stand to be anywhere near him.
“What can I get for you?” My voice wobbles, and I hope he doesn’t sense my fear. Colin and I never spent a lot of time together, so I’m hoping the subtle changes to my appearance keep him from recognizing me.
“The special.” His facial expression never changes, but it’s his eyes I watch as I ring him up and tell him where his drink will be ready for him. Recollection doesn’t appear present as he looks down at his phone and steps to the side.
Tears hover on my lids as I wait for the next customer and watch him from my peripheral vision. As soon as he turns away, I bring my hair forward so that even if he thinks he recognizes me, he can’t study my face until he’s certain of who I am.
My body crawls with the need to run. To dart out the front door and never look back. I have to leave, yet I know if I make any sudden moves while he’s still here, he’ll become suspicious. I can’t afford his attention. Not now. Not when I was just thinking about creating my own roots.
“Hey, Thea, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” my coworker Jamie points out.
“Fine,” I murmur, trying hard to peer over at where Colin is sitting. “I got dizzy for a second.” Staring around the store, I look back to Jamie. “Do you mind if I just take a couple minutes to get some water and sit down for a second?”
She tilts her head while studying me before nodding. With a whispered thanks, I nonchalantly grab a plastic cup and head to the break room, hoping not to draw attention to myself. I glance back to see that Colin is now watching me with a curious look on his face.
Oh, god.<
br />
He knows.
Chapter 6
Kol
Sitting outside of Thea’s apartment in the dark probably isn’t my most brilliant idea. I should have gone home. I should have visited Ember, asked her more about her disappearing friend. But I couldn’t bring myself to hurt my sister by telling her that Thea had only moved to the shittiest part of town and not somewhere farther away.
Instead, I’ve been camped outside this girl’s apartment building for the last hour. I don’t know how to ask her the questions I need answers to without pushing her further away. This morning, I spooked her when I was asking about her pain. The shadows I see present in her eyes every time she looks at me.
I want to help her, but I don’t know how. The ringing of my phone stops any notions I might have had about going inside, or smarter yet, leaving.
“Daniels.” My tone is clipped.
“Who pissed in your corn flakes?” My big brother Arsen laughs over the line.
“Nobody. What do you want?” Normally, I’d give it back to him, but my worry over a cute blonde keeps me from retorting.
“Damn. Someone’s in a foul mood.”
“Your point?”
“What’s going on, Kol?” Arsen always was the one to get straight to the point.
“You remember Ember’s friend, Thea?” I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. After the recital, Arsen and Marina had their hands full with an abandoned little boy.
“The skittish little thing you all but mauled? Yeah, I remember her.” He laughs.
I scowl. “I didn’t maul her. I didn’t even touch her. She barely spoke a word to me.” Thea was so terrified then that I kept my distance. I wish I hadn’t.
“What about her?” Arsen asks, and I can hear Jake in the background giggling.
“She didn’t leave town. Not like Em thought she did.” I blow out a frustrated breath because I know he’s going to give me shit. “I found her a few days ago. But man, she’s so damn lost.”
“Does Em know?”
“Thea asked that I didn’t tell her.”
“She on the run?” Arsen’s cop mind is coming into play now.
“I think so. Just not criminally. I’ve spent some time with her, and she’s spooked. She has demons chasing her.” Her blank stare haunts me as I watch her building.
“You’re not going to listen to anything I have to say, so what is it you want to do, Kol?” Smart ass.
“What I want is to go full steam ahead, but I get the feeling that won’t work with her.” She’s been hurt too bad for me to turn into a caveman.
“Kol?” Marina’s sweet voice comes over the line.
“Hey, Ari, how are you?” My brother found the perfect match in her.
“I’m good. Listen. Thea. It’s a lot worse than you know. Ember didn’t talk much about her, but when Thea first disappeared, she shared some of the things she learned while they were friends.”
Sitting up taller, I’m all ears. “Like what?” Dread settles in the pit of my stomach.
“Em stayed with her once. Thea won’t sleep on a bed. She wouldn’t tell Ember why, but that night, she had a nightmare, and Ember suspected Thea had been assaulted.”
“Jesus. Why the hell wouldn’t she tell us this shit?”
“Because it was her friend. Thea doesn’t even realize that Ember knows about the nightmare, I don’t think.”
“Shit.”
“Tread carefully. Take your time with her. But, Kol? Don’t let her run away again. Give her a reason to stay.” After talking for a few more minutes, Arsen suggesting that I look further into discovering who Thea really is, and Marina telling me to be the reason she needs to stay, I’m more confused than ever.
Every cop instinct I have says to get her prints and find out her identity. But the man in me wants to hide her away from the world and take care of her.
Stepping out of my car, I cross the street, and as I’m about to open the door to her building, a man in a suit comes walking out. He’s so out of place that I assess him like I would a suspect.
Tall, around six feet. Medium build, light brown hair, dark eyes. Scar on his jaw and right eyebrow. “Excuse me,” he mutters, an angry frown on his face as he pushes past me. I watch him walk away, noticing the slight limp as he leaves.
A bad feeling knots in my gut as I step through the doorway. Jogging up the steps two at a time to Thea’s floor, the feeling intensifies as I see her door is open a crack.
“Fuck,” I hiss out as I grab my gun. My eyes search the surrounding area, but I know there’s no one going to jump out at me. The man who did this is the one I just ran into. I can only hope Thea isn’t in there.
Thea
* * *
I hate taking the bus at night. I hate walking the three blocks from the bus stop to my apartment even more. I keep my keys in my hand with each key sticking between my fingers, just in case of an attack. I know all too well the bad things that can happen.
The air breaks as the bus turns the corner makes me jump. The street is unnaturally quiet tonight, almost like it knows there’s a sinister presence in my life, and this is a great way for the universe to freak me out even more.
When the fear is nearly too much for me and I’m jumping at small sounds, I know I need sleep. Just for a few hours before I pack up and move. I have to go. After seeing Colin, and then realizing he knew who I was, I know I can’t stay.
In so many ways, I’m sad about it. I had almost convinced myself it was time to stop running. That it was time to announce myself to the world again. To stop being Thea Matthews and live once again as Thea Andrews.
But I know I can’t. I can’t lead Kol on. I can’t stay. I can’t have a life.
Richard will always find me. Whether by accident or on purpose, I know he’ll never stop looking for me. I’m the one black stain on his existence that he simply can’t afford.
Walking up to my building, I can almost feel the change in the air. Something has happened, and I know it has to do with me. It always does. There’s just no ignoring the drastic changes in my life once again, and I don’t know where I’m going to relocate to this time.
Entering the building, I climb the stairs. All I’m grabbing is the cash I have hidden under my bed, and then I’ll be gone again. A shadow in the night on the run.
Except, as I reach my floor, I see the door open and light spilling out into the hallway as I step closer. I’m not sure if it’s stupidity or morbid curiosity that drags me along, but I can’t stop walking forwards.
I feel like I’ve been pulled out of my body as my hand moves forward to push the door open slowly, and I see inside is a mess. Cushions are torn apart. Lamps are in shambles across the room. Glass litters the floor in the kitchen. Small pictures I’d hung on the wall are now split in two and tossed like garbage.
“I don’t…” Understand.
Why me?
What’s the point?
I did all the right things when Richard assaulted me. I went to the police. I tried to become more than a victim. But this? This is too much.
“Thea?” I hear Kol’s voice as he walks down the small hallway with a bag in his hands. When he sees me, he drops it and rushes over to where I stand, half in the door, half out. “He’s gone.” His murmured words aren’t as comforting as he intends them to be as he pulls me into his embrace.
I’m so stunned by the carnage that I allow him to. I embrace his warmth because suddenly, I’m cold again. Frozen in a tundra of my mind where only the worst things happen.
“I did everything right,” I whisper into Kol’s chest. Soaking in his comfort as he rubs my back, whispering comforting words I don’t even hear.
I’m not sure how long we stand there for, but it’s imperative that I move. There’s no question as to my next step. I can’t stay any longer, and it’s beginning to break my heart.
Pushing away from Kol’s body, I wipe my eyes and tell him, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
<
br /> I stare up through my lashes and see him frowning as he watches me. “Crying all over you. This mess. I’ll be fine. You can go.”
His eyes narrow and a storm brews behind his green gaze. “Thea, you have to report this. I’m not going to leave you alone after someone ripped your home apart.” With each word, my mind crumbles just a little bit more, and I’m fraying at the edges, ready for a total breakdown.
“I’ll deal with it, Kol.” My words aren’t nearly as persuasive as I’d like them to be, but I also know he isn’t going to let this go. He’s not the type of man to walk away when someone’s in distress.
“Why do you keep pushing me away, Thea? What are you afraid of?” The feel of his warm hand gripping mine causes me to look down and realize how different we are.
He’s strong. I’m weak.
He’s big. I’m small.
He’s light. I’m dark. Like my life.
Kol Daniels doesn’t need my drama in his orderly world.
“I just…don’t want to be a burden.” I lie.
Kol
* * *
“A burden?” She’s kidding me, right? “You’d never be a burden, blue eyes.” I was only here a few minutes before Thea showed up, and while I didn’t call 911, I did notify Noah to bring a CSI team to dust for prints. “Don’t you get it yet?”
“Get what?” I see the tears hovering on her eyelashes, and I want nothing more than to keep her safe in my arms as I handle this for her. I get the feeling she won’t allow me to, though.
“I want to be here for you, Thea. I want to be with you. Don’t you feel this pull between us?” If she says anything other than yes, I know she’s lying. She melted into my arms when I held her. “I can be your safe place, hold you through the storm.”
