by C. A. Harms
She smiled, and I felt just a little better, knowing the fiery light within her wasn’t fully put out. “I do not.”
I ran my fingers through her hair and brought my hand to rest at the base of her neck. “You do, but having your sweet little body tucked back against me is worth it.”
She closed her eyes, and a tear ran along her cheek. I quickly caught it with my other thumb. “You’re not gonna replace me while I’m gone, are you?”
Her comment hit me like a punch to the stomach, and I narrowed my eyes at her. I knew her fear had to do with the woman who was waiting in the barn.
“Bailey, darlin’, that ain’t gonna happen.” Her eyes fluttered open and locked on mine. “Don’t you know by now?”
“Know what?”
I traced the contour of her jaw down to the base of her neck. The rush of emotions that ran through me made me feel vulnerable, which wasn’t something I was used to. But for Bailey’s sake, I wouldn’t let it scare me.
“I love you, sweet girl,” I whispered. Her eyes once again filled with tears. “That space you tuck yourself into every night, back against my chest, curled up snug and safe? That’s yours.”
She buried her face against my chest, kissing me just above my heart. “Promise?”
“You have my word,” I replied without hesitation. She nodded against me as her tears dripped down my skin.
“I love you too,” she said softly, and the words settled deep within me and burned like a raging fire. I would cherish those words and make sure she never regretted them.
“You go to my place and check flights. I’ll finish up here and meet you. You wait for me, okay?” I asked before kissing the top of her head. “Don’t leave without saying good-bye.”
“I won’t,” she said as she stepped back from me, but I didn’t release her. She smiled up at me at last. “You gotta let me go, Jackson.”
“Never,” I replied with a smirk.
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
I stood in place as I watched her walk down the drive toward her Jeep. My tall, blonde city girl. In her short skirt and high heels, she was so far from being a country girl it was almost comical. But she’d found a way into my soul, and now the thought of anyone hurting her brought out all kinds of alpha shit inside me. I’d fallen so hard for her that the idea of being in love, which had once terrified me, now just made me feel free. My father knew what he was talking about; the right woman changed everything about how you saw life. And Bailey was that woman.
When her Jeep had disappeared down the road, I turned back toward the barn. I had to wrap this shit up and get to my place.
***
Less than thirty minutes later, I sat on the end of my bed while Bailey rushed around the room gathering her things and shoving them haphazardly into a suitcase. She was anything but organized. The woman was messy and forgetful, but I couldn’t get enough of her. Fuck, she had me by the balls, and the thought no longer freaked me out. What did freak me out was her leaving. I knew she had to so she could be there for her mom, but I still hated the idea of being without her.
She walked into the bathroom and a few minutes later emerged with her arms full of cosmetics and toiletries. No, she didn’t live with me, but since we had decided to become a couple, she’d been wrapped in my arms almost every night.
Bailey leaned over the bag that sat in the chair next to the closet and dropped the items into it. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she turned around, and our eyes connected. After a few silent seconds passed, I jerked my head, indicating I wanted her to come to me. She smiled as she walked over and stopped just in front of me. Her blonde hair was piled high on top of her head, and she had ditched her earlier attire and now wore a pair of cutoff jeans and a snug t-shirt. I preferred this look on her; the flashy clothes and heels just weren’t my thing.
I placed my hands on her hips and pulled her onto my lap, craving the feeling of her body against mine. Bailey straddled me, giving me a look that set off a familiar ache deep in my stomach. I twisted around and put her on the bed, then placed myself over her. The move even surprised me, as I truly had no idea how I pulled it off without knocking her to the floor.
She giggled and wrapped her arms around me. “That’s some real ninja moves you got there, Cowboy.”
I chuckled and leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose. “You like my moves, sweetheart?”
Her laughter faded, and she looked up at me like I was the only man in the world. My chest tightened, and at that moment I may have fallen just a little more for my sweet city girl.
“You know I do,” she said just before she placed her hand on the back of my neck and pulled my mouth down to meet hers.
Chapter Nineteen
Bailey
Saying good-bye to Jackson was so hard, especially after his confession of love last night. But his words gave me the strength to face the mess that awaited me in Chicago.
Jackson Sawyer loved me. More than that, he was in love with me, and that love felt amazing. I finally had a man that put me first, who hurt when I hurt, and when I smiled, I could see happiness fill his eyes. He treated me like I was the center of his world, and I had to say I felt the same way for him.
I leaned back against the seat as the plane descended, making my stomach instantly drop. The moment the wheels touched down at O’Hare Airport, nervous energy hit me hard. The magnitude of our family problems had only grown over time, so I had no idea what I was about to face.
I texted my father when I reached the baggage claim, letting him know I would meet him out front in a few minutes. Then I took a moment to text Amber and Jackson too.
Me: Landed safely, I will call you later.
My bright red luggage came into view, and I grabbed it from the belt before it passed, then pulled up the handle and tilted it back to drag it behind me. My stomach was in knots as I rounded the baggage claim and walked toward the front entrance. With each step, it flipped and tensed even more.
The moment my father came into view, the confidence I’d felt earlier vanished, and I was once again that lost girl who didn’t know if I should run to him or away from him. Before I could move closer, my phone vibrated in my hand, and I looked down at the screen as it lit up with Jackson’s name. The message he sent gave me newfound strength.
Jackson: You got this sweetheart, and if you need me, you call. I miss you.
Taking in a deep breath, I walked toward my father. As I got closer, I could see just how much he had aged. His once-brown hair was now laced with gray, and the wrinkles around his eyes made him appear exhausted.
“Hello, Bailey,” he said as he stepped forward. He held his arms out as though he wanted to hug me but pulled them back quickly, as if he was unsure of how to greet me. When I was a child, I’d loved his hugs; now I couldn’t imagine what one would feel like.
“Hi, Dad,” I replied, forcing a smile. In reality, all I wanted to do was cry. This man looked like my father, yet he was a stranger to me.
“Is that all your luggage?” he asked, and I nodded as I secured the carry-on bag slung over my shoulder. “At least let me get your suitcase.” I nodded again and let him take the handle of my rolling bag.
“I have a driver waiting outside,” he continued. “I thought we would go straight to the hospital.” I looked up then and met his timid gaze. His lack of sleep was evident from the dark circles under his eyes. “She’s coming around. Still groggy and a little out of it, but awake.”
The news was both happy and sad. Happy because she was okay, physically at least, but I was sad thinking about the battle she still had ahead of her; the battle we all still had to face. It seemed like nodding in agreement was all I could do. I knew I would never truly be ready to deal with the past, but it was time my father and I put aside our feelings and stood up for my mother, because she was worth it, and it was time she knew that too.
***
I tried to be strong and hold back my emotions, but the moment I entered my moth
er’s room, all hope for that plan was lost. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at us.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and her raspy voice broke the last bit of resolve I had left. I shook my head to tell her to stop, that I wasn’t ready for this, but she continued. “I gave up, didn’t I? I stopped living after Gabe died, and that was wrong.”
I stepped up to the side of the bed and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. “We all made mistakes, Mom. But I think it’s time we start working on making things right.”
Chapter Twenty
Jackson
“Moody and damn near impossible to tolerate,” I heard my mother tell Noah. “He needs a boot in his ass, I tell ya. And I just may do it if someone don’t pull him out of his slump.”
Everything she said was true. I had been moody and distant. Four days without the woman you love does that to a man. But I couldn’t help but smile to see my ma’s badass, spitfire attitude returning for the first time since my father passed. It was actually kind of nice to hear her being ornery once again.
Noah entered the barn chuckling, and I kept my back to him as I continued to spread feed in the stalls.
“Jack, you are about to suffer Momma’s wrath. She is gunning for you.” I looked over my shoulder as he lifted the second shovel and began spreading feed at the opposite end.
“The fire is good for her. Keeps her blood pumping,” I said.
“Speaking of blood pumping…” When he paused, I knew he was about to stir some shit. “Nights have been kinda lonely for ya, haven’t they?”
“Yeah, now I know how you feel.” Before he could respond, my phone vibrated in my pocket, and my heart pounded with excitement. I dropped the shovel and scrambled to answer the incoming call, almost dropping the phone in the process.
“Hello,” I said without even taking the time to look at the screen. I already knew it was the call I had been waiting all day for.
“Hi,” Bailey whispered, and a sudden calmness washed over me. “Did I catch ya at a bad time?”
“No bad time when it comes to you, darlin’. Everything else can wait,” I responded as I looked up just in time to catch Noah making kissy faces at me. I kicked my foot out and sent a pile of hay sailing in his direction. He broke out in laughter before he started moaning my name, imitating how Bailey sounded the morning my asshole brothers beat on my bedroom door.
“What is that?” she asked.
“Noah being a jackass,” I replied, glaring at my dumbass brother. “He needs to cut the shit before I beat his ass, though.”
“Shit,” he mumbled, “if you would have said that six weeks ago, I would have bought it. Now that you handed over your balls to Bailey, I highly doubt you got it in ya, but I’ll give you two lovebirds a few minutes alone.”
“I can call back later. It’s okay, really,” Bailey said, pulling my attention away from Noah as he backed out of the stall, holding his hands up in surrender. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to tackle his cocky ass to the ground.
“No way, sweetheart, I’ve waited all day for this phone call. He’s just enjoying my weakness.” I sat down on the bench just outside the stall.
“Your weakness?” she asked.
A knowing smile crept across my lips. “You, baby. You’re my weakness.”
I grew nervous as a silence set in. I hated it because she was too far away for me to force her to speak. “Darlin’,” I whispered.
“I miss you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, loving the rush her words gave me. “I miss you too, baby. When you coming back to me?” I needed my Bay like I needed air to survive. The days felt more like weeks, and I was so close to jumping on the next flight to Chicago to get even a few hours of her sweetness.
“Soon,” she replied.
“But not soon enough, right?” It came out harsher than I intended it to. I knew she had things to take care of, but I was drowning without her.
“Jackson…” The pain in her voice made me instantly regret my comment.
“No, Bay. I didn’t mean that, sweetheart. I know you got shit to take care of, and I know you’re needed there. It just doesn’t make me miss you any less. I’m a selfish prick,” I confessed.
“You aren’t selfish. I would give just about anything to be in your arms right now. It’s honestly one of the very few places I feel safe.”
I made a decision then, a decision I knew I would need the help of my brothers to make happen. I would have to swear my future sister-in-law to secrecy as well.
***
I took a late night flight to Chicago, adrenaline pumping through me the entire way. Amber helped me set everything up and even went as far as arranging to have me delivered to the doorstep of Bailey’s hotel. The moment I stepped into the lobby of the Marriot, my heart rate sped up. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this excited.
I knew her room number already, so I bypassed the front desk and walked straight for the elevators Amber had already told me to look for. I stepped inside and hit the button for the fourth floor, then leaned back against the railing, unable to wipe the smile from my face. I pushed off the wall and stepped forward as the doors slid open, and I was only that much closer to my girl. I stopped outside room 412 and wasted no time tapping my knuckles against the wood.
At the sound of the lock clicking, I lifted my head and stared straight ahead. The smile I had grown to rely on was the first thing I saw when she swung the door open.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I said as I rushed forward and closed the door behind me. I dropped my overnight bag to the floor as I continued to stare at Bailey, who stared back at me in shock.
“What…how?”
I stepped in close until our bodies were only inches apart. “I couldn’t spend another night without you. I needed to hold my favorite girl in my arms.” I covered her mouth with mine, and for the first time in days, that crazy, unsettled feeling inside me vanished.
Within seconds, the wildcat in Bailey was released. She hooked her hands around the back of my neck and pulled me in tighter. “God, I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered between kisses as she began backing up, pulling me along with her. Our lips stayed connected as we did our best to frantically shed the clothes that separated us.
Chapter Twenty-One
Bailey
I had spent the last five days talking to different doctors and the therapist that had been assigned to my mother. As a group and even sometimes on our own, we shared our fears and sorrows as the counselor listened. Each day I walked away feeling exhausted and empty. So the moment I looked through the peephole in the door and saw Jackson’s face, my heart lurched in my chest. He would never understand just how much it meant to me that he came all this way to support me. And the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Therapy was intense, and I had started to retreat into the dark place I’d been in after Gabe died, when I’d felt like everything around me was caving in, drowning me slowly.
Jackson being here gave me back a sense of the girl I used to be, and the one I became again when he allowed me to break down his walls. The girl that let go and lived in the moment, who was free-spirited and happy.
His kiss was urgent and so full of passion, and my body trembled with my need to have him even closer. I wanted him to take over, to wash away the heartache of the last few days and make me feel only him. Tonight I only wanted to be lost in Jackson. He was my savior in this crazy mess.
“I had to see you. Waiting was no longer an option.” He groaned as he took my mouth once more, devouring me little by little. “It’s felt so much longer than a few days, baby.”
He trailed his lips down my neck as I let my head fall back, giving him room to roam. God, the rough tickle of his stubble against my skin drove me even wilder. I combed my fingers through his hair, and a deep groaned escaped him as he went lower until he reached the base of my neck. I was already in overdrive, but the moment he trailed his tongue along the dip between my breasts, my knees grew
weak. Thank God for low-cut shirts; at that moment, I believed they were the best thing ever created.
“I don’t think I can go slow, sweetheart. Not the first time, anyway,” he whispered against my skin.
An uncontrollable whimper escaped me. “I don’t want slow,” I assured him as I began to undress. He immediately joined me, lifting his shirt over his head and letting it drop to the floor. “I need you hungry and insatiable.”
Without warning, he lifted me from the floor and not so gently placed me onto the bed. The anticipation of his dominance made my heart race.
He hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his shorts and began lowering the only piece of clothing that separated us. My gaze drifted lower as I watched with hungry eyes. He truly was a magnificent creature. It was almost unfair how cripplingly beautiful he was.
“You’re giving me that damn look, baby.” His voice was strained.
Allowing my gaze to shift upward, I smiled knowingly. “What look?” I asked innocently before biting my lower lip.
I watched in amazement as he knelt on the mattress and began moving toward me. As he lowered his body over mine, I instinctively opened my legs, allowing his hips to settle against me. Evidence of his arousal pressed against my center, and I moaned.
“You’ve got that hungry look in your eyes. Like you want to attack and conquer,” he whispered as he thrust his hips slowly, stroking his cock against my slickness. “Like you want to devour me.”
“Because I do,” I moaned. “I want you so badly.”
He covered my mouth with his and ran his tongue along mine. “Take me,” he said as he rolled over and took me with him.
