by Unknown
He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear before I could stop him, his fingertip barely grazing my skin, but I jerked back automatically as if he’d branded me.
I had no idea how I was supposed to answer.
“Stop it, Jonah.” Shannon edged between us. He hesitated, but backed off without argument. As soon as she had his attention the stiffness in his shoulders lessoned almost imperceptibly. “She’s my guest and my friend. You know what that’s like? Friends? Please don’t embarrass her. We aren’t like that.”
“He didn’t embarrass me.” I’d been so quiet while all this had gone on that I was surprised by my own voice. I sounded convincing, but the truth was I was a little rattled. Shannon did not do Jonah’s intensity justice. “As long as no one makes me take a test or write an essay about my summer vacation, I’ll do whatever anyone wants me to do. I’m just happy to be here and not at school.”
The Silver siblings all stared at me while I rambled on, but Jonah’s sunglasses made him particularly unnerving. I nervously played with the bead bracelets on my left wrist to fill the silence so I wouldn’t start talking again.
“See,” Shannon said, turning back to her older brother. “Be nice for once.”
After a hard moment, he relented and even though I couldn’t see his eyes, his face softened a little. “How were exams?”
“Oh. You know. I did ok I think, except maybe in French. It was my last exam and by then I could barely speak English. It’ll probably be ok. Probably.”
“And you, Miss Lewis? Were your exams just ok?” I thought Shannon had told me her older brother was in grad school. The way he spoke to me, looked at me, I felt like either he was much older or I was much younger. Each word put me in my place, and I didn’t know why.
“Yes, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Don’t let her fool you.” Shannon nudged me and nodded to her brother. “Tell him the truth. She always does well.”
“I’m just a good test taker.”
A cell phone went off, loud amongst the sounds of the woods, and very unnatural. All three Silvers checked their pockets, but by the grimace on Jonah’s mouth, I guessed he was the lucky winner.
He turned abruptly, without a word to his siblings, and got in the little BMW lurking behind the jeep Eric was unloading. A second later he peeled back up the path and disappeared into the trees.
“Must have been dad,” Shannon said quietly, and that strange sad look touched her eyes.
“That’s got to be a new record for him. Jonah had only shown up a minute before you guys did. Dad’s got like, psychic powers when Jonah comes within a mile of him.”
Eric shared the strange look with Shannon, abruptly grabbed the dropped bags, and headed into the cabin. Shannon followed up the steps and I stayed at her heels.
“Are you and Jonah sharing?”
Eric laughed. “You kidding? He’s the cabin by himself over by the water. He just stopped by to say, I don’t know. Hello, but in Jonah-speak. Besides, I’m picking up Nelson tomorrow at the airport. You’re not the only one with friends, Shannon.”
“Who has the other cabin, do you know?”
Eric came back down the steps for the last of his bags. “I think mom said she was putting the McAllister girls in there.”
Shannon grimaced. “Didn’t you and Sarah, last summer…?”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “But nothing’s stopping us from doing it again this summer. If she’s still cute.”
“Wow, shallow much?”
“Henry’s coming.” He gave her a pointed look and then hurried up the steps into his cabin. Shannon flushed hard. This caught my attention. Shannon rarely showed interest in any specific boys at school.
“Oh. Look, we’re going to go unpack.” She grabbed my hand and whisked me back to the car before his laughter could embarrass her further.
Two
“Henry McAllister is the hottest boy I have ever laid eyes on.”
Our bags lay piled in the middle of the room, ignored. We’d managed to unpack enough to change out of our sweaty travel clothes, but not much else.
“That’s a big claim. How come I’ve never heard of this hottie Henry McAllister before?” We climbed onto our matching twin beds and sat cross legged facing each other. The tiny room was symmetrically laid out – two twin beds with detailed, hand quilted blankets, two dressers, two tiny stools and a window above each bed. Not entirely unlike our dorm room, really. There was a bathroom with only a toilet and sink, and a hand-braided rug at the front door. It was very quaint and a lot less fancy than I had expected, although the little bell by the door for summoning housekeeping dissolved any pretend idea we were roughing it.
Shannon shrugged and pulled at a star shape on her quilt. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him in like, three years. His mom and my mom were roommates in college.” Shannon’s face brightened. “Like us! Mary McAllister’s husband is a corporate lawyer and sometimes works with my dad, too. Henry’s the oldest and adorable. Last time I’d seen him he was taking up surfing and had skin like a bronzed statue.”
This was a side of Shannon I wasn’t used to. She was bright and sweet, but rarely dreamy. Thinking about this mysterious Henry made her eyelids droop and a drunken smile appear. In the filtered light, she looked young and less put together than I’d ever seen her.
“He sounds fantastic. Have you and he…?”
“Nothing.” The dreamy look vanished and she sat up straighter – the posture of a girl who’s had classes in sitting up straight. “I’m a year younger than him. I was only seventeen last time he saw me and I doubt he was looking to trade down, you know?”
“You’re all grown up now.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she giggled.
“That’s true,” she agreed. “And there are going to be very few people here for two weeks neither of us are related to. Except…” she gave me a hesitant glance and I gave her a reassuring shake of my head.
“I will be too busy seducing cousins to even notice Mr. McAllister.”
We laughed easily, but I had no preconceived notions that any cousins would look twice my way. There was far too much sand in my hourglass. Far too much by half. The only thing I’d been dreading about this vacation were the swimsuits and once I squeezed into one of those, all bets were off. One look at my stomach and thighs would be the end of any potential summer romance.
I was not normally hard on myself. At college there were enough body types and curves to go around that I was not particularly out of place. I actually looked pretty good in a pair of tight pants, so long as my hourglass shape was highlighted. But this was different. This was a beach full of Silvers who, as far as I could tell, came pre-made with the gorgeous gene. Athletic, thin, beautiful all of them. My differences were going to become wildly apparent soon enough.
She waved me off the bed. “Come on, we’ll unpack later. Let me give you the grand tour.”
Shannon pointed the walking routes out on a detailed map hung beside the front door. There were seven pods of cabins and walking the whole route stretched about three miles. Most people drove ATVs to the main house, but our pod was close enough to walk. The beach was only a few minutes through the woods, and the main house a quick five minutes past that.
Eric’s car was gone when we stepped outside and there was no sign of Jonah. That’s when Shannon grimaced and stood in front of the fourth, small round building at the center.
“These are the showers,” she said, and pointed to a flip sign at the door. “We share with the pod. If you’re taking like, a real shower, flip the sign to ‘Occupied.’ Most people don’t change the sign if they are only going in to wash sand off in a bathing suit.”
“I guess we’re not leaving dorm life entirely behind, then.”
The main house was a pretty walk through the trees up a trail with markers pointing to the different pod locations and the boat house. I was starting to understand why they called this place Camp Silver. I wondered if a bugle
would call us to breakfast in the morning.
The main house turned out to be exactly what I expected of a family as wealthy as the Silvers. The house looked like a giant bed and breakfast with cars parked out front that cost more than my college tuition. Jonah’s little BMW was still here.
A butler greeted us at the door and Shannon morphed into tour guide mode.
She had knowledge about where the stones in the foyer floor came from and the chandelier’s French history. The dining room was big enough to feed a small army and everything was painted light and bright to mimic the glowing sunshine that spilled in through floor to ceiling tall windows. We passed through three different living room areas.
She showed me the game room, with a billiards table and board game tables, and the workout room. The kitchen was impressive but we were ushered out by a very angry faced French man before we could get more than a few steps inside.
There was no formal library, but there was a huge wrap around back porch with tables and big beach umbrellas, a hot tub, and a view that made the whole trip worth it alone. Waves burst against the Silver’s private docks, deep, untainted blue capped in fluffy white foam. It was picture perfect. There were four boats of different sizes and colors tied up along the docks.
“You don’t like boats,” I pointed out after she told me what each of them was used for.
“That’s true. I never go out. It’s one of the few family things I don’t do, much to my mother’s broken heart. They’ll take that boat out for skiing, that one for sunbathing, that one for overnight trips, and that one for entertaining. You’re welcome to go with them without me, though.”
“It’s ok. I’ve gone this long without getting on a boat. I’ll probably live two more weeks.”
On our way to the pool we passed along windows looking into a study. Mr. Silver, who I had yet to meet but had seen pictures of, stood over Jonah speaking loud enough that we could hear his voice. Jonah sat forward on his knees, the neat cuffs unbuttoned and shoved halfway up his arms. His glasses were gone and while Shannon pointedly ignored what was happening as we walked past, Jonah caught me watching. His expression remained impassive but his eyes followed us until we were out of sight.
The pool turned out to be a little closed in area off the beach with an outdoor grill and bar. This was Shannon’s favorite place on the whole property, she informed me, and as soon as the gate behind us shut, she was stripping out of her clothes down to her bikini.
Mrs. Silver and Melissa, Shannon’s older sister, were already in their bathing suits in lounge chairs beneath umbrellas. I’d met them before when they’d come to visit Shannon. I found Mrs. Silver as sweet as Shannon, and Melissa twice as guarded. The tight line of her mouth reminded me of Jonah’s.
“Girls! I was wondering when you’d show up.” Mrs. Silver kissed Shannon’s cheek and then tried to kiss mine but I pulled away at the last minute. It was weird, all this kissing and touching and hugging that the Silvers seemed so good at. Even Melissa exchanged Shannon’s hug with one of her own. This was so far from anything my family ever did. I couldn’t even remember my father hugging me as a child and since he’d married his new wife, there weren’t even so much as phone calls, let alone hugs and kisses. The way the Silvers cared about each other was wonderful, and horrible, to witness.
“I was giving Jess the tour.” Shannon sat at the edge of the pool and dropped her feet in.
“You must be pretty overwhelmed, Jessica,” Melissa said with a small, but kind, smile. “I hope you’re finding everything to your liking.”
“Yes, it’s overwhelming but also really beautiful. I appreciate you all having me.”
“You’re all Shannon ever talks about, we wouldn’t dream of not having you.” Mrs. Silver gave my hand a squeeze and I retreated to the side of the pool with Shannon.
I pulled my shorts down but hesitated to strip completely right away. All three Silver women were graceful, long, and lean in their colorful bikinis. It was impossible to tell Mrs. Silver had four grown children and Melissa clearly spent a lot of time at the gym. Shannon did not have the same toned, strong body as her sister, but she still looked good.
Without even dragging my t-shirt off, I felt overdressed in my blue one-piece bathing suit.
The shape of my stomach and my large breasts were not the only reason I hid behind a one piece, but only Shannon knew why and it was an accident she’d ever seen the scars in the first place. I was always so careful to take showers late at night when no one would walk in on me, but I hadn’t anticipated Shannon actually coming to look for me when I took too long. She told me they weren’t so bad, that enough time had passed since the car accident that had taken my mom’s life.
She said the scars were hardly visible, and maybe that was true, but I knew they were there, knew them intimately, and I couldn’t bear anyone else seeing them. Not ever.
* * *
The Silvers turned out to be exactly what I’d been promised, both kind and welcoming and Mr. Silver thankfully did not attempt to hug me when we arrived for dinner. Shannon said it was a casual dinner, but I was starting to understand her version of the word and my version of the word were very different things. I wore jeans and a tank top. Everyone else wore summer dresses and slacks. I was embarrassed, but decided this was something I was going to have to get used to over the next two weeks. As accepting as the Silvers seemed of me, we were just from two different worlds. Two different planets.
Jonah was right, I couldn’t pronounce dinner, but it was delicious anyway. There was rabbit in some sort of mushroom sauce over wide flat pasta. Shannon had seconds, much to her mother’s chagrin, and Eric and Shannon kept most of the conversation up between them. They asked me questions, sometimes, but did not treat me like something in a bowl to be watched and studied. Conversation was easy and I quickly felt like I belonged amongst the Silver clan. My own family and school felt a million years away.
“What do you study, Jessica? Architecture, like my sister?”
It was the first time he’d spoken, and his voice commanded the attention of everyone at the table. He sat across from me, his shirt neat and cuffed once more. Without his sunglasses on I could see he had very dark green eyes, piercing like they very much wanted to dig around in my head for all my secrets. He was, unfortunately, as beautiful to look at as the rest of the family. It would have been easier if he were less, somehow.
His question didn’t feel like a question at all, but a command.
“I…no. I am working on my BA in Fine Arts.”
There it was, the look I got from most people when I told them I studied art. I might as well have told people I studied ancient philosophies for as much good as they thought it would do me in the real world. Before I was able to explain, he pounced on me.
“That’s not something a person studies if they want to make a living for themselves and their family. What, exactly, do you plan to do to pay off your student loans?”
Attacked. Cornered. Most people were polite enough to mumble some fake encouragement, but his unblinking accusation made me feel like the rabbit on our plates.
“Jonah…” Shannon started, but I interrupted her before she could make her brother stand down. The way he stared at me, I wanted to put him in his place.
“Graphic arts, that’s what I do. And I minor in communication. Right now I build webpages for extra money, but I want to work for an animation studio when I graduate.”
“Isn’t that a very competitive field?” This from Mr. Silver, who had the same commanding voice as Jonah, but lacked the edge that made Jonah sound like he was threatening to attack with each word.
I set my fork down on my plate carefully. I’d had this same conversation with my own father two years ago, and repeated every once in a while for his benefit.
“Yes, it is very competitive, but I’m very good at it.”
“Lots of people are ‘very good’ at it, but there are only so many paying jobs in the arts. Surely you have a fall back
in mind?” Jonah again, the pressure of his voice made my heart quicken and my cheeks flush.
“No, I am not pursuing a fall back career. I’m well aware that in my field, success is forty percent talent and sixty percent luck. You’re lucky if you know someone in the business, lucky if you get noticed, lucky if you draw the right thing at the right time for the right person. I get that, and I don’t have any control over the luck part. But I am very talented, and I’m willing to roll the dice and hope luck will do the rest.”
I had everyone’s attention now and I wondered if they could see how hard I was breathing or how my hands shook beneath the table. Jonah’s eyes never left mine.
“And if you’re not lucky?” he asked, quieter this time.
“Then I keep working on the talent part until I am.”
* * *
After dinner, while Shannon taught me to play Mah-Jongg – the real kind, not that fake computer crap, she said – that I began to understand the real dynamic of the Silver family and why Jonah was so different from his siblings.
Mrs. Silver was discussing wedding dress styles with Melissa, whose winter wedding had dominated most of the after-dinner conversation already, and Eric was lounging on the window seat texting his on again, off again girlfriend. (Off again, if Sarah McAllister was willing to pick up where they’d left off last year, apparently.) Jonah and his father were on the opposite side of the room, in a similar position to what I’d seen earlier through the study window. Jonah leaned forward on his knees, stared at nothing on the ground, while his father towered and lectured. I caught words like international trading and investments, and international business opportunities, but was otherwise engrossed in Shannon’s recounting of the history of the tiled game. Shannon knew the history of everything.
