by Sara Marks
Lizbeth ignored her irritation with Jorge, Wil, and Colin. She turned her attention to her presentation for Dr. Bennett’s class. She had spent all semester preparing for a discussion about Gamergate and sexism in tech.
“I want to introduce you to the women and technology group on campus. They have a small reception tonight. I’m going to come by the house at about seven to walk over with you. I don’t like the idea of you walking alone after dark.” Dr. Bennett said as she set up her presentation on the computer.
“I’d love to meet them! I think I can get over on my own, though,” Lizbeth said.
“Your house is on my way over and it’s on the other side of campus,” Dr. Bennett said and started his introduction.
After her professor’s introduction, Lizbeth began her prepared slide show. She had a total of six slides if you counted the opening and closing placeholder slides. She started by sharing statistics of the actual gender divide within tech, including video gaming and Wikipedia. Next, she covered the timeline of Gamergate and the key players. From Zoe Quinn, the video game developer whose game and harassment seemed to jump-start the conflict, to Anita Sarkeesian the feminist media critic who created a video series about tropes and objectification of women in video games.
From there she explained the media’s portrayal including the basics of the gaming journalism ethics commentary and the coordination of harassment. Finally, she moved into what she called the ripples and impact of Gamergate. She focused on positive effects like beginning to show the world how women are treated online, but mentioned a few that were negative like the backlash against Twitter’s handling of harassment through their platform. She had worked hard to make sure she didn’t say which she felt were good or bad, but hoped her audience would critically evaluate each of them. Her classmates scribbled their notes as she spoke. She suspected they were writing more about her presentation style than her content.
“Are there any questions?” Lizbeth asked as she brought up the last slide.
Colin’s hand shot up before Lizbeth finished speaking.
“I am concerned about your representation of what happened. I followed the situation as a Reddit user and video game player. You seem to be under the impression that this was an attack on women.”
“It was used as an excuse to attack women. Any woman who dared to speak up found herself harassed. famous tech women found themselves harassed for merely speaking up about gender bias in tech.”
“Actually, it was about ethics in gaming journalism,” Colin said.
Lizbeth took a deep breath and held back the feminist rant forming in her brain.
“What, in your opinion, was the ethical problem in gaming journalism?” Lizbeth asked.
“Reviewers were biased in favor of subpar, so-called diverse video games.”
“As opposed to video games where women are only represented as unplayable characters who are either virgin or whore?”
“Actually, there are playable women characters.”
“In a game of 15 playable characters, there may be one woman and she is hyper-sexualized,” said a voice in the back.
Lizbeth looked back to see Wil sitting up and leaning forward at his desk.
“Most gamers are male. They want to play male characters,” Colin said, turning around.
“Actually,” Wil said, “if you paid attention to the very first slide, you would have seen that in 2014 nearly half of video game players were women. I’m sure that has only increased since. That’s not the point. The point is that men treat women as invasive aliens in tech.”
“They are allowed to play; they just have to be able to handle the way men act,” Colin said.
“ACTUALLY,” Lizbeth said, interrupting the two men, “this is an example of my point. You both sit there and mansplain to me, each other, and the rest of the class about what I mean when I’m perfectly capable of explaining myself. Women are expected to deal with and prevent attacks from men, be they physical, sexual, emotional, or intellectual. Men don’t have to curb their behavior to be more appropriate. This is nothing new, just a new medium.”
“Not all men attack women,” Colin said.
Almost every woman in the class groaned in response.
“No, but let’s use an extreme example. Let’s say you get drunk at a party. As a result, you do something stupid and someone gets hurt. Are you to blame?” Lizbeth asked.
“No, I was drunk!” Colin said.
“Now, let’s say it was a woman and she gets drunk at a party and gets hurt. Is she to blame?”
“Well, she shouldn’t have gotten drunk.”
“This is the problem. Women are expected to avoid situations that will get them harassed. They are told to expect harassment in life as a given. They are told to stay out of tech because it is hostile. Men are allowed to behave as they wish in any situation. We can take this back to historical religious worship. Why did the Jews separate men and women during worship?”
“I don’t know, why?” Colin asked.
“Because women distract men, who can’t be held responsible for our actions,” Wil said from the back of the room.
“Exactly. Women are tired of having to live their lives in fear and accommodating the male whim. They want to see themselves represented in the media they consume. Not only that, they want to be represented accurately. It’s what we all want no matter sex, gender, race, or heritage. The tech industry is a microcosm of something going on intentionally. What we have learned since is that it’s not limited to the needs of the other, but the reactions of the dominant. The push from one has caused an equally strong reaction from the other.”
“It was only about ethics in gaming journalism,” Colin said.
“Well, this has certainly been a lively discussion,” Dr. Bennett said before Lizbeth could respond.
***
Lizbeth was irritated after the presentation. She spent the afternoon in her room quietly working on her thesis and other class assignments.
“Lizbeth, there you are!” Mrs. C said from her doorway.
Lizbeth looked up at the woman.
“Do you need something?” she asked.
“Are you coming to dinner?”
Lizbeth looked at the window and saw it was now dark out. The clock on her computer showed it was just after six.
“Dr. Bennett is coming by at seven to take me out.”
“Well, you should eat something now. We’re having an officers’ dinner in my rooms. You said you were coming.”
Lizbeth didn’t remember this, but didn’t have the energy to argue. She followed Mrs. C down to her rooms and found everyone, including Colin, at the table. The only empty chair was between Colin and Mrs. C.
“Lizbeth, I’m hoping we can continue our conversation from class.”
“No,” Lizbeth said sitting down and putting food on her plate.
“Well, this may be my last chance to sit around this table with such lovely ladies. My mentor, Ms. Katherine de Bourgh, has arranged my spring internship, but it begins right after Thanksgiving. I’m going to be moving to Gardner in Massachusetts next week. I have made all the arrangements with my professors.”
Lizbeth, tired of hearing about Colin’s internship plans, tuned him out and thought about all the things she had to do herself. From the gossip she had heard in the department, Colin’s professors were only too happy to allow him to miss the rest of their classes and just turn in papers. Most of the professors on campus had recordings of their lectures on password-protected class webpages to help students refresh their knowledge. Colin was going to watch those, do his assignments, and get his grades.
“Lizbeth, did you hear me?” Colin said breaking into her train of thought.
“Excuse me?”
“I’d like to speak with you after dinner.”
“Professor Bennett is on his
way over to walk with me to an event.”
“I can join you.”
“This is a private event that relates to my thesis proposal. I can’t allow that.”
“Well, maybe we can speak privately now?”
“Good idea, darling!” Mrs. C said and ushered the other women out of the small dining room in her rooms.
Lizbeth was confused and turned to Jane. Jane’s smile was full of pity. Lizbeth panicked when she realized Colin was on one knee.
“Wait, no! Jane, Marie, Lydia, come back. Whatever Colin has to say can be said in front of everyone,” Lizbeth called after her sorority sisters.
“Lizbeth, you are so kind to want everyone to share in this wonderful moment,” Colin began. “It is one of the qualities I like best about you. You are so inclusive and modest. Be assured, your friends are all aware of my intentions.”
“Really? Everyone is aware?”
“My mother assured me that this is what everyone wants for us. I have wanted this since I first met you. I’m glad I was allowed to spend so much time with you even though you have been so busy this semester. The more time I spend with you the more convinced I am that you are my ideal wife. I want you to marry me, join me in Gardner, and use the time there to work on your thesis and take care of us. You will never want for anything as long as we are together. You will never have to work.”
Lizbeth was speechless for a brief moment and then broke out in laughter.
“You can’t be serious,” she managed to say to Colin.
“Oh,” Colin said looking confused, “I am quite serious. My mother insists, and Ms. de Bourgh agrees, that I need to find a wife right away. I have found their advice sound when they agree. Mother feels I need to have someone to help with manage my life while I focus on my academics and future. She thinks someone who is supportive, but understands my work, is ideal. She said someone like you would be a perfect match. I have told Ms. de Bourgh all about you, your academic interests, and your work in the sorority. I have told her how modest you are, how hardworking, how you have the job at the library to help pay your tuition because your family can’t help you. I know I will be the best husband for you. I will provide for you so that you never have to work. You can stay home, build a happy home for us, and raise our children. Your family would be helped by my mentor as well. She has assured me of that.”
Nothing Colin said made any sense to Lizbeth. How could anyone think she was the perfect woman for Colin?
“What makes you think that I want to build a home and have children? What makes you think my family needs to be helped?”
“Lydia explained everything about why you need to work. I completely understand! What else do women want if not to be taken care of and to have children surrounding them?”
Lizbeth sat dumbstruck. What had Lydia told people?
“You will move with me to Gardner. Lydia has assured me she will make sure the leadership transition here go smoothly. We will be married as soon as possible and you can finish your degree online the same way I will. I’m sure Dr. Bennett and your other professors will be more than happy to give you the same arrangement they have given me.”
“Colin, you act like I have said yes to your... proposal?”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Rest assured, Colin, I’m the last person you want as a wife. I’d never make you happy. First, my goal in life doesn’t involve a loveless marriage or children. Second, I work in the library because I enjoy it there, not because I need the money. Third, I’m not especially modest or kind. Four, no, my professors would not allow me to walk away from classes and turn in assignments from Massachusetts. You have no idea who I am and I, in no way, want to marry you.”
“Lizbeth, I know that modern women like to play hard to get. I know you are trying to make me work for your affection to make sure I’m sincere. My increasing number of business contacts, now including the Darcy family, will increase your position in society. I’ll have political connections. You would know the president because you are married to me.”
“Do you know the president?”
“No, not yet, but I will someday. I am sure of that.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I do know past Presidents of this country?”
“Nonsense.”
“Colin, I’m going to say this one more time. I have no desire to marry you. I don’t have the desire to spend any more time with you.”
With that Lizbeth got up, left the room and returned to her bedroom. She was angry and said nothing to anyone. She was mad at Lydia and Mrs. C for thinking this was something she wanted. She was mad at Jane and Charlotte for not warning her. She grabbed a bag and left the house. She sat on the porch and waited for Dr. Bennett to come by. It was dark, but she could see him walking up the street.
“Lizbeth!” she heard Mrs. C yell as she walked outside.
“What do you want from me?”
“You get back in there and you accept my son’s proposal!”
Colin was not far behind his mother.
“Mother, no. If Lizbeth is this stubborn and foolish then she is not the right woman for me.”
“Nonsense! She’s perfect for you and she WILL say yes. Look, I see your professor. I know he can talk some sense into Lizbeth.”
Lizbeth wanted to laugh.
“What’s going on here?” Dr. Bennett said when he got to the sorority house gate.
“Oh, Dr. Bennett I’m glad you’re here,” Mrs C said. “I’m Colin’s mother and the housemother for Phi Alpha Pi. My son has just proposed marriage to Lizbeth and she has refused him. Talk some sense into her.”
Dr. B looked at each person standing before him.
“Lizbeth,” he finally said. “I fear your life will be terrible if you don’t make the right choice. Clearly, Mrs. Collins will be very angry with you if you refuse her son. On the other hand, I will fail you on principle and refuse to let you finish your thesis if you agree to marry him. Which is more important: your own academic goals or some random lady’s personal desires for you?”
“There was never a decision to make,” Lizbeth said as she got up, grabbed her bag, and walked to the gate.
“I think you made the right choice,” Dr. Bennett said as they walked away.
***
Life at the sorority house was tense for a week after Colin’s proposal. The board members fought about how to respond to Mrs. C’s manipulations on her son’s behalf: showing up at a non-sorority sponsored event, and meddling in the lives of some sisters was more than Lizbeth and Mary could take. Lydia was quick to defend their housemother. The two had become surprisingly close in the past two months. Lizbeth couldn’t figure out why Lydia liked Mrs. C. Jane felt there were other issues to consider. She had learned there had been no other applicants for the job and they needed someone to help manage the house. She thought it was best to just let it go for the year. In the end they couldn’t reach a decision and Mrs. C got to stay longer. Lizbeth was so angry that she spent all her free time at the library or local coffee shops working on her assignments.
“Colin proposed to me,” Charlotte said one afternoon when she found Lizbeth sitting at the campus Starbucks reading.
Lizbeth looked up to see that her friend seemed unusually anxious. She was picking at her cuticles and breathing deeply as if to keep calm.
“Excuse me? Please tell me you said no. You don’t need to marry anyone right now, let alone Colin Collins.”
Charlotte’s eyes narrowed.
“I said yes.”
“What?”
“Lizbeth, I’m not like you. I don’t have a trust fund and wealthy parents. I don’t work for the joy of working. I don’t have all the benefits of wealth and privilege. I won’t go back to Flint after graduation. I won’t take some mindless job just to survive. I want to make art and I have to think of my future. If th
at means I have to marry Colin to get that, then I will do what I need to do.”
Lizbeth was taken aback by Charlotte’s anger. She had never thought deeply on their different situations. It wasn’t like Charlotte was raging about race, class, and privilege.
“Charlotte, if you want to go to New England and be with him, you don’t need to marry him. Go to graduate school and teach art! You’re smart and independent. He is his mother’s creation and oblivious to what the people around him want,” Lizbeth said.
“I don’t want to go to graduate school. I don’t want to go in debt just to teach. I want to make art. You’re one to talk about being oblivious. You don’t see anything beyond your own worldview. You don’t see the impact you have on choices. You have more influence on people than you realize. Why do you think the sorority wanted you to be president? Meanwhile, you don’t see that there is a guy who’s crazy about you!”
“What are you talking about?”
“You only see and hear what you want to see. It’s time for you to look at the world beyond your privilege. It’s time for you to realize that not all of us want the same thing as you.”
“If you want a patron, I think you could do better than Colin Collins.”
“You may not find Colin tolerable, but I enjoy spending time with him. He asked you first because his mother insisted. He asked me because he likes me, too. I’m going into this with open eyes and I know what to expect. I’ll be fine.”
“Charlotte, this is a huge mistake. You don’t need to marry him!”
“I didn’t come here so you could change my mind. I’ve thought about this and it’s the best decision for me. I came to tell you that I’m leaving with him at the end of the week. Ms. de Bourgh has a pretty cottage on her property and has set it up for us. I spoke with my professors and have the same arrangement as Colin for the semester.”
“What are you going to do in the spring?”
