He looked straight at me. Shit. It was my turn to be caught staring. I averted my eyes to the table and luckily my soup arrived to offer the perfect distraction. Maybe someone was taking pity on me out there.
Starving, I dunked pieces of my bread roll and shovelled them into my mouth, only pausing to coat the top of the soup with more salt and pepper. My weakness. I finished the meal quickly, enjoying the menial task of feeding myself and wondering what kind of disgusted look my waiter would give me if I ordered another helping.
When he came over to clear the plates, I settled for ordering another coffee. I had nowhere else to go. I chanced another peek at the guy with the opal hair. He was watching me and our eyes met again. Normally, I’d be quick to look away, but there was something about him.
He stood up, still watching me, and started walking in my direction. Shit, shit, shit. My mind raced, thinking of things to say to make him go away. I’ve always hated these moments. I’ve never been one for ‘make nice with the stranger’. Then he was there, standing in front of me, and I still hadn’t thought of a thing to say.
He was deceptively tall, dressed in jeans and a dark grey T-shirt. He cleared his throat and I blushed. I was gawking, but not because I was besotted with him; I wasn’t interested in him at all. But his hair…and something else…affected me.
‘I’m Phoenix,’ he said with a knowing smile. ‘I thought we could share a table.’ He gestured to the other tables, which were now mostly full. ‘It seems to be getting busy and since we’re both alone…’ He gave a half-smile along with a slight squint of his eyes, as if daring me to say yes.
I didn’t bite. ‘Look…Phoenix? I’ve had the kind of week nightmares are made of. Right now, I’d be the worst company in the world.’ I looked back down at my hands resting on the table, willing him to disappear.
He pulled out the chair beside me, but didn’t sit. ‘I could just sit here and finish my coffee. You could ignore me. If you can.’
I looked up and he was smiling. He was being nice and…not at the same time. One thing was certain; he was backing me into a corner.
‘Whatever, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ I mumbled.
He smiled in victory and sat next to me.
‘So, Phoenix?’ I asked uncomfortably.
‘Yes.’ He was no longer smiling but everything about the way he was looking at me said he found me amusing.
‘As in the bird? Bursts into flames and reborn through its ashes?’
‘It does seem a vicious cycle, doesn’t it? Lucky for me I’m used to a little fire.’ He winked. Please.
‘Now that you know all about my name, don’t you think you should tell me yours?’ he said.
‘Oh, sorry. I’m Violet.’
An uncomfortable silence settled over us. Maybe if I didn’t speak he might get bored and go away. I started counting the sugar sachets in the holder. Twelve white, eight brown and three Sweet ’N Low.
‘Week of nightmares sounds pretty bad. If it compares to some of my worst nightmares, it must be terrifying.’ He spoke conversationally, as if we were old friends. It was irritating.
I tried to sound tough but failed. ‘You have no idea. I didn’t even know terrifying could stretch this far.’ I looked down, not wanting him to see the tears welling in my eyes.
‘You’d be surprised,’ he said confidently.
Yeah, yeah, everyone has at least one horror story.
‘Who is he?’
My head jerked up. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Who – is – he?’ he repeated. ‘No woman can be in this much pain without a guy having caused at least part of it.’
I liked that he called me a woman and not a girl, especially since he looked like he was about twenty. But I hated that it was so obvious to a total stranger that I was in pain. Exhibitions of weakness were not my lifelong goal.
‘It’s not a…’ I let out a long sigh. ‘Lincoln.’
‘Did he betray you?’
‘Betray?’
‘Yes. Did he betray you? Mislead you? Was he cruel to you? Has he abandoned you?’ He waved a hand from one side to the other with each option. ‘Of course, I could ask if he cheated, but we both know he didn’t do that. Perhaps he lied to you, the kind of lie that changes the way you view everything. You know, the kind that lifts the mask off and only leaves behind the terrible truth. There are many things he could have done…I’m guessing it was betrayal. Am I wrong?’ His eyes widened.
How had he known Lincoln hadn’t cheated on me? How had he known any of it? It was as if he had looked into my heart and pulled out all of my feelings. Where did this guy come from? No one spoke like this.
The waiter arrived with my second coffee, another perfect distraction.
‘Thanks.’ I said. In more ways than one!
I tore open a sugar sachet and stirred it in, stretching out the action. I felt like Lincoln had done all the things Phoenix had mentioned. Of all the things though, betrayal was the most accurate.
‘Let’s just say I discovered one of those terrible truths.’
‘And does it change how you see yourself?’
‘Yes,’ I confessed.
‘Does it change how you see him?’
‘That’s a little…personal.’
‘I agree, but no more than the previous question. I would apologise but then it’s only polite to enquire if you are already taken before I…’ He smiled with intent.
A lump formed in my throat. This was not a moment I’d been expecting. I shifted awkwardly in the chair, trying to think of something coherent to say.
Phoenix smiled, enjoying my unease, and recognition suddenly registered, words flying from my mouth before I could stop them.
‘You were at Hades the other night!’
He rapped his fingers on the table. ‘I was wondering when you would remember our dance. Usually I’m a little harder to forget.’
I ignored the comment. I wasn’t about to be distracted by his ego. ‘Kind of weird, isn’t it? That we meet again today.’
‘Isn’t it,’ was all he said, completely unfazed.
I curled my hands around my coffee and started to lift it to my mouth, trying to buy time. I stopped short when I felt a hum of energy pass through my body. It was the same as when I’d held Lincoln’s wristband. It passed, but just as quickly my mouth watered the way it does sometimes before I’m sick. I quickly put the coffee down and scanned the room for the bathroom. As I did, the sensation passed and was replaced by the taste of…apple. Rolling through my mouth like a moving current. I swallowed and it was gone.
‘Violet?’ Phoenix asked, watching me curiously.
I took a few moments before I gave a pitiful attempt at laughing it off. ‘Sorry. I just had this kind of déjà vu.’
‘What kind of déjà vu?’ His eyes narrowed.
‘Don’t laugh, but I felt like I just had a bite of an apple. Weird, huh?’ I said, giving a shaky laugh.
He smiled a smile of secrets that made me shiver. ‘I’ve been known to have that effect sometimes.’
I didn’t know if he meant the apple or if he’d noticed my shiver. Either way, my stomach suddenly twisted with unease.
I shook my hair away from my face and sat up a little, forcing a smile. ‘Can you give me your hand? Just for a second.’
I had tried for nonchalance but it came out a little pitchy. He stiffened. Something wasn’t right. He tried to cover it with another smile but it wasn’t the same easy, relaxed smile – it was nervous. I’d made him nervous.
‘Sure…if you give me your word to be gentle.’
‘What?’ Odd was not a strong enough word for this guy. But he sat there and waited patiently, hands in his lap.
‘Why?’ I asked.
‘Why do you want to hold my hand?’ He almost sang the words.
I gritted my teeth. ‘I promise to be gentle.’
He smiled as if he had won some small victory. He put his right hand on the table, palm up. There was l
ittle explanation for why I felt a compulsion to touch him. It wasn’t sexual, despite the fact that I could barely breathe in the thick mist of sexual tension surrounding him. It was something else, a suspicion I couldn’t explain.
I slowly moved my arm towards his waiting hand. I lowered my hand flat like his. I felt it the instant we connected. The same hum flowing from his hand into mine, the taste of apple so sweet it almost made me gag, trickling down the back of my throat.
I snapped my hand back, accusations flying from my mouth. ‘Who are you? Are you one of them? Did Lincoln send you?’ My still raw anger towards Lincoln rose to the surface. Did he have people following me now?
Phoenix smiled, also taking his hand back and rubbing it on his jeans. ‘One of them? You will have to be more specific, there are so many “thems” these days. But no, Lincoln did not send me, of that you can be sure.’ I was getting sick of his condescending smirk. I didn’t find any of this funny.
I got more specific. ‘Are you a Grigori?’
‘No.’ He casually leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs at the ankle and stretching them out.
‘But I felt you.’ This time I whispered.
He sighed. ‘Is it truly Grigori you are supposed to have the ability to sense?’
Fear wrapped itself around me like an old enemy that knew me well. My voice dropped until I was barely mouthing the word. ‘Angel.’
He stared straight into my eyes with a frightening calm, his smile gone. ‘Once. One that is here only as a friend. I am no threat.’
Oh. Sure. I feel so much better.
I stood without thinking and the chair fell from under me, clanking on the polished cement floor. Everyone looked up from their tables, collectively eyeballing me. I picked it up quickly, almost tripping over it in the process. I threw a twenty, which was way too much, to the waiter and legged it. I had forgotten my art diary. Screw the diary!
I cut through the botanical gardens heading for home. I wanted to run, but forced myself to walk. I didn’t want to attract the wrong kind of attention from the small groups of homeless people that were scattered along the path. I didn’t need any more surprises. I checked over my shoulder intermittently the whole way. No one was following me.
I powered through the lobby of my building and straight into the lift, never so relieved to press number twelve. The doors opened at my floor and I stepped out.
Phoenix was standing by my front door, swinging my art diary between his thumb and forefinger.
The tension I had only just released came thundering back into me with crushing speed. How did he get here before me?
‘What are you doing here?’ I said, still puffing from my speed-walk home. He didn’t look rushed at all.
He waved my art diary in the air, smiling with the knowledge that he’d had an excuse to find me again. We both knew it was total crap, but that only seemed to amuse him all the more.
‘How did you know where I lived?’ I pushed. The doors to the lift started to close behind me. I wanted desperately to get back in and escape. He’s at my home. Was he stalking me?
His mouth twisted with guilty pleasure. ‘I do admit, I have seen you come into this building before. I didn’t know what floor you were on, but the doorman was kind enough to let me know.’
Great. I was going to give the doorman an earful later. He was a good guy but shit for building security.
‘In fairness I can be quite persuasive,’ Phoenix said, as if he’d read my mind. ‘I don’t imagine he would let just anyone up here.’ He looked delighted by my panic.
‘You’ve been following me.’ My mouth was dry and while I tried for a steady voice I knew I wasn’t fooling him.
‘Not following, just waiting for an opportunity to introduce myself. You’re not easy to get alone.’
He was so relaxed while I was completely petrified, and he knew he had all the power. I did the only thing I could; I welcomed anger.
‘Enough! You said you were no threat, but you’re an exile!’ From what Griffin said, no exiles could be trusted.
‘Not everything is black and white, Violet. Don’t believe everything you’ve been told. I’m… I don’t fit into any of your little boxes. Anyway, if I meant to hurt you, it would be done.’ This guy had clearly not had much practice in the art of reassurance.
‘Then why are you stalking me?’ I spluttered.
He raised his eyebrows. ‘Stalking? No. I sensed you at Hades the other night. I sensed you as soon as you walked in. I was interested to…meet you.’
‘So you’ve been following me since my birthday!’
He leaned back against my doorframe. ‘Yes. And before you ask, yes…I saw. The best kisses are always the ones that take us by surprise.’ He stared into space, as if reminiscing. I didn’t want to know what he was imagining at that moment.
‘You watched?’ I was disgusted but also blushing.
‘Usually I prefer a more active role but…’ he smirked slyly, ‘all in good time.’
He was playing with me, baiting me. I stood tall, staring back at him defiantly. I don’t run.
His expression changed – I couldn’t be sure but it looked like surprise. His eyes held mine and I couldn’t seem to turn away. The longer I stared at him, the more I felt my doubts start to lift. I’d been so sure that I needed to get away from this guy, this exile, but looking into his eyes…my apprehension softened to the point where I found myself unable to imagine him doing any harm. I was still aware of my previous concerns, but they were sliding further away with each second. It was confusing, and while I was starting to feel more confidence in him, I was less and less sure of myself. To be safe, I tried to keep my guard up.
‘I’m not a Grigori,’ I blurted out. ‘I just have the essence thing. You need to leave. Now.’ I returned his glare. He looked down at my art diary in his hand and then slowly lifted it for me to take.
I took a tentative step in his direction, and as I did reality seemed to waver around me. I could hear the flapping of wings and leaves colliding. It was peaceful, violent and eerie all at once. Over that, I could hear my heartbeat, pounding like I was listening to it through a stethoscope. I closed the distance and glanced up at him.
His eyes, so brown they looked black, latched onto me and pulled me into his gaze. I saw a flash of sadness. It coursed through my body, enveloping me in sorrow. My heart ached for him as if it were my own. My hand flew to my chest as I recognised the depth of his misery and I swallowed hard. Then the look was gone and he replaced it with something else. Desire…?
It washed the sadness away with a relentless force. I felt it like it were my own, my desire…for him. I leaned towards him and grabbed the edge of the diary. Through the connection I felt a hum of energy. Then, somehow, it quietened.
He slowly pulled the diary towards him, giving me time to take my hand away should I choose. Part of me wanted to, knew I should. But I didn’t. There was a connection I couldn’t explain.
When we were just inches apart, he reached out his other hand and placed it flat on my collarbone. I took a deep breath in. It felt as if he had touched me in the one place that could affect me the most. It seemed more intimate than anything else he could have done. The hum that flickered on my skin was like small lightning bolts, but not painful. Not even close to painful.
I knew he could move his hand up and squeeze. I was sure he had the strength to snap my neck, yet just as sure he wouldn’t. He moved towards me, to kiss me. I stopped breathing. Just as his lips were about to touch mine he stopped, breathed in deeply and whispered, ‘You smell of apple. It’s so…’ His lips were so close to mine, with each word I could feel the vibration of his voice and the warmth of his breath – it smelled of vanilla. I stood, frozen, waiting. His hand slipped slowly from my collarbone up to the side of my face. I felt my body react and it wasn’t helping me.
He whispered again, ‘I’ll not take from you, Violet. You will be the one to kiss me.’ He stepped back and smiled as if he knew e
xactly how much he had affected me. ‘When you want it most.’
My legs were so weak I wasn’t sure how I was still upright. He released his hold on the diary slowly and moved away, clearing my path to the door with a sweeping hand gesture.
‘I’m sorry that I came to your home without invitation. I will leave you in…’ he gave a half-laugh, ‘. . . peace.’ He opened the door to the stairwell.
‘There’s a lift,’ I said on autopilot.
‘Too slow.’ He smiled and added, ‘You’re not the same as the others, Violet. You radiate power. If you hide from it, it will only punish you.’
‘They said it was my choice,’ I said quickly.
‘Of course. But choice and consequence are not the same for everyone. I suspect your power will not make it easy to ignore. An angel who can impart such a strong essence must have been confident you’d embrace it. Goodbye, Violet…for now.’ And then he was gone.
I stood, motionless. He had been going to kiss me. And I was going to let him! What was happening to me? Those first thoughts trickled into my mind, and they were the pebbles that preceded the avalanche. This day, this week, my whole life roared through my head and tore at my heart. Thoughts I had been trying to ignore crashed through my weakened defences. Would I ever have my life back as I knew it? Was Lincoln using me? And possibly the worst – had my mother done this to me?
I fell to my knees. I couldn’t breathe. As my vision began to cloud, I heard the door open. I had no time to look before there was…nothing.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘Every visible thing in this world is put in the charge of an Angel.’
Saint Augustine
Something cold and wet was suffocating me. I gasped in shock, opening my eyes to a cloudy haze. Someone was trying to kill me. I marked the figure, still blurred, hovering over me. I needed freedom and acted on impulse. In a move that was a combination of self-defence and kick boxing, I bent my arm and swung to hit my assailant in the face, elbow first. I couldn’t see clearly but I felt the impact. It wasn’t my best effort, but enough to buy me a few seconds to get in a better defensive position. I got to my hands and knees, crawling as fast as I could.
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