by Carol Ross
Shay liked that thought. “Thank you, Adele. I can’t tell you how much that means to me to hear that right now. But the support from the community and volunteers like you is amazing, too. Books can change lives, and there’s nothing like a room full of happy kids to put life in perspective, right? To make us realize and appreciate what’s really important?”
Adele stared back at her blankly.
“Adele, are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah. I was just thinking.”
Shay reached out and placed a hand on one of her puffy sleeves. “If you ever need to talk about anything my door is always open. And I don’t care how busy it appears that I am. I can always make time.”
“Thanks, Shay. I might...I will actually...take you up on that one of these days. You are so lucky. Your family is the best.”
Shay waved a hand carelessly through the air. “Just wait till you get to know us a little better. We’ve got plenty of our own crazy.”
Adele chuckled. “I don’t know about that. All I know is that you gave me a job and Hannah helped me find a place to live. Your brother, Tag, fixed my car yesterday and your mom just invited me over for dinner... I mean...”
“Ah, yes, that’s something you should know if you’re going to be hanging around the James family, Adele. We like to gather and eat—a lot. It’s one of the ways we show affection and the main reason I don’t have the body of a supermodel.” Shay joked and patted her hips.
Adele smiled but Shay thought she saw sadness there, too. She wondered again what this woman had been through in her young life.
“Where are you headed with that—what did you call it?”
“Your mom called it grog, but I hope there’s no alcohol in it. I’ve seen kids drinking it. I’m dropping it off for your dad and brother who are in the puppet booth.”
Shay laughed and reached out to relieve her of one of the cups. “No, no alcohol. I think it’s just spiced cider, but don’t tell Mom I said that. She really gets into the spirit of the theme. Come on, I’ll walk with you.”
They began heading toward the opposite side of the room.
Adele said, “Seriously...I don’t know how I’ll every repay you all.”
Shay shrugged, carefully trying to navigate through the crowd. “I’m glad I have the means to help and honestly, Adele, you’ve been a treasure to have in the restaurant. Please don’t let Tess at the Cozy Caribou lure you away.”
“You don’t have anything to worry about there—I love the Faraway Inn and I love my job, but I wasn’t talking about that. You guys all seem so kind and so...honest.”
Shay grinned. “Well, lucky for all of us in this world, kindness isn’t something you have to repay. You just pass it on, right? At least I think that’s the way it should work.”
They arrived at the puppet venue and dropped off the drinks for her dad and Tag. They all visited for a few minutes and then Shay pointed at a group of tiara-wearing pre-teens giggling around a table covered with books.
“That’s your spot, Adele. And there’s a crowd of five-and six-year-olds waiting to decorate their glass slippers—which are actually made of plastic but we won’t tell them that. So we’d better get going.”
Adele nodded happily. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Maybe you and I and Hannah can hook up later for a mug of that grog?”
* * *
JONAH COULDN’T GET Gary and Ingrid Watte out of his mind. The issue between them seemed so silly, like a simple misunderstanding that should resolve itself. And yet, he knew that sometimes these were the kinds of circumstances that could spiral out of control, stir up other issues, and ultimately end a relationship. One hurt led to another and another until it was too late to salvage.
These thoughts were what prompted him to accept their barbecue invitation. It had been one of those “Hey, you should come over because we’re grilling on Friday” kinds of invitations. He knew he wouldn’t be expected, yet he also knew he would be welcome.
He liked that about Rankins, he realized, that the company and the camaraderie were more important than the event itself, unlike the business dinners and fundraisers he regularly attended back in Chicago.
He swung by the store and picked up a half-case of a popular Alaskan micro-brew and two family-sized bags of chips.
“Jonah!” Gary met him out in the yard, holding a giant set of tongs and wearing an apron that read, Me Grill. You Eat. “So glad you could make it. How do you like your burger? Crack me open one of those Grizzly Quake brews.”
Jonah did as requested, chatted for a few minutes, then carried the chips inside. He greeted several people he knew from high school with a promise to do some catching up after he delivered the snacks he’d brought. He found Ingrid in the kitchen, visited briefly, and then placed the chips on the table with a few other bags. He grabbed a handful of chips and turned to make his way outside where people seemed to be gathering.
A tiny blonde girl with pretty blue-green eyes and a bright pink T-shirt stood blocking his path. She appeared to be eyeing him intently.
“Hi, I’m Izzy.”
Jonah brushed his fingers on his jeans and stuck out a hand. “Nice to meet you, Izzy. I’m Jonah.” She looked surprised by the gesture but wrapped her delicate little fingers around his and gave his hand a firm shake.
Then she giggled and Jonah felt his heart begin to melt.
“Are you friends with my mom and dad?”
“I don’t know—who are your mom and dad?”
“Ingrid and Gary Watte. My brother’s name is Jake and our baby sister is Erin.”
“Well, then, yes, I am. I went to school with your mom and dad.”
“That must have been a looong time ago.”
“It was.” Jonah responded solemnly, resisting the urge to laugh.
She nodded like he’d passed an important test. Then she gestured out the window where a bunch of kids were playing a game of bean bag toss in the yard. “Do you know how to play that game?”
Jonah nodded. “I do, indeed. It’s been a while, however, so I may be a little rusty.”
“That’s okay,” she said splaying out all ten fingers in an attempt to reassure him. “It doesn’t matter if you’re not good because you’re big.”
Jonah tried not to smile as she imparted this puzzling bit of logic. He nodded, hoping for clarification.
“The other kids said I couldn’t play because I was too little and I don’t have a partner. But no one will be my partner because I’m little and I can’t throw the bean bags very far. But if you will be on my team then I know they’ll let me play.”
Jonah grinned. He’d heard high-priced attorneys with arguments much less compelling. “Well, Miss Izzy, what do you say we go challenge the winner of the next game?”
She executed a little leap of excitement and her face erupted into a smile of pure joy. And Jonah couldn’t remember the last time he’d made another person so happy—or felt that way himself.
* * *
A FEW NIGHTS LATER Shay walked into the Rankins High School gymnasium with Janie’s two oldest boys, Gareth and Reagan. Their heads collectively snapped around in amazement—all three of them silently absorbing the incredible scene.
Emily had transformed the gym into a movie theater.
An enormous white screen hung suspended from the ceiling at one end of the room. Shay recognized the music streaming clear and crisp from the speakers as the theme song from the fantasy blockbuster that would be kicking off the first of Rankins’ “Summer Movie Madness” series.
A crowd was gathered around the snack bar at the far end of the gym and the hot buttery smell of fresh popcorn filled the air. They took a slight step up and Shay immediately looked down as the floor beneath them began squishing softly with every step. There was a layer of green canvas covering the padding so she couldn’t be sure what the material was, but it certainly made the idea of lounging on the gym floor for the evening quite a bit more appealing.
Blankets already lay like patchwork across the gym floor. Several rows of portable movie-theater-style seats, complete with cup holders, had also been set up along one edge of the gym for those patrons who might not relish an evening of camping out on the floor, padding or no.
Excitement seemed to fill the air and Shay knew Emily would be thrilled with the turnout for her latest venture to raise money for a community center and pool.
Emily rushed over to greet them. “Hey! I’m so glad you guys made it.”
“Em, this is spectacular. I don’t know how you can still surprise me after all this time, but...wow.” Shay had first met Emily when she had been working for Cam-Field Oil & Mineral. She had come to Rankins with the intention of developing its oil resources—and the town along with them. Emily’s campaign to win the town favor was the stuff of legend. Thankfully, she’d fallen in love with Shay’s cousin Bering and the town of Rankins right along with him.
A few minutes later Shay was lounging on the fleece blanket she’d brought, while Emily gave Gareth and Reagan the deluxe tour. She closed her eyes, grateful for a moment of peace, when a familiar voice pierced her contentment.
“Pretty cool, huh? This is not something I ever expected to do in Rankins—go to the movies.”
Her pulse quickened and she lay there wondering how just the sound of his voice could cause her body to react like this. Shay opened her eyes and pushed up to rest on her elbows.
“Jonah, what are you doing here?”
He gestured at the kids flanking him, both of whom were grinning from ear to ear. “We’re here for the movie.”
The Watte kids? Jonah was babysitting? Her spirits sank at the reminder of Gary and Ingrid’s possible split.
She sat up and greeted the kids with a bright smile, determined not to let them see her concern.
“Iz, if you’re going to be driving at your age your parents need to talk to you about picking up hitchhikers.” She pointed a thumb at Jonah. “It’s not safe and this guy looks shady. He could be out to steal your popcorn. Heck, he could steal all of our popcorn.”
“Shay,” Izzy drawled with a giggle, “this is our babysitter Jonah.”
Shay put on a skeptical face and made a show of surveying Jonah up and down. “Well, if you say so, but I’m not sharing my popcorn with him.”
“You should see him play bean-bag toss, Shay. We were the champs!”
“Bean-bag toss? Really?”
“A barbecue at Gary and Ingrid’s,” Jonah explained.
Shay and Jonah used to be virtually unbeatable as partners at the bean-bag-toss game. They exchanged smiles, but before Shay could comment, Gareth and Reagan returned full of excitement at the technology Emily had managed to secure for the evening’s show—some kind of fancy projector and a state-of-the-art sound system.
Shay handed Gareth some money. “You guys want to head over to the snack bar and get us set up? Don’t be shy with the butter on the popcorn.”
“Jake and Izzy, you guys want to come?” Gareth asked.
They looked at Jonah for permission and he was already reaching for his wallet. He handed Jake some bills.
“Do you want us to bring you anything, Jonah?” Jake asked.
He quirked a brow at Shay. “Licorice?”
“Um...sure,” she said.
She couldn’t quite meet his eyes, choosing instead to stay focused on the kids. “You guys, stay together, okay?” She had to say the words even though she knew they would be perfectly safe in this theater wonderland that Emily had somehow managed to create.
Jonah lowered himself onto the blanket beside her. His voice was soft. “I never look at a piece of licorice without thinking about you. Still your favorite candy?”
“Still my favorite candy,” she answered flatly, trying to ignore the flutter in her chest. She didn’t want him remembering her favorite candy. Arrogant, selfish, materialistic Jonah she could handle. She could even manage bitter and sarcastic Jonah. Kind and thoughtful Jonah was too much like Old Jonah, and Old Jonah, she reminded herself, was dangerous.
He leaned back on an elbow.
“Interesting...both of us here with borrowed children.”
Shay’s eyes darted to his and her heart began to pound. Such a seemingly casual statement—did he mean it to sound that way or was he leading up to something? She wasn’t going to fish around and find out because she didn’t want to instigate a discussion about their past.
“What prompted this?” She bobbed her head toward the kids.
He let out a chuckle. “Actually, I volunteered. I was at Gary and Ingrid’s and they were trying to figure out how they were going to be in two places at once. Gary got called in to work and someone needed to stay home with the baby, who has an ear infection. Ingrid was the obvious choice there. And hey, I love this movie.”
“I can’t picture you going to the movies in Chicago.”
One side of his mouth lifted as he asked, “What do you picture me doing in Chicago?”
“Interrogating people, driving around in your expensive car, playing golf, counting stacks of money...”
The other side joined it in a smile. “I get paid to do that stuff—except for the driving. Although, sometimes I get paid for that, too. But I need something to do with my spare time.”
“I don’t picture you having much of that.”
“That’s kind of true. I don’t. I wouldn’t mind having a little more, especially for stuff like this.”
His eyes met hers and Shay’s pulse kicked up again. She kept her gaze focused across the gym, refusing to get caught up in that superhero stare of his.
“And I have to confess that there is not much that little Miss Izzy could ask of me that I would deny.”
Shay grinned. “She’s something else, isn’t she?”
Jonah glanced around to make sure no one was listening. “She certainly is. They are such great kids. I can’t stand to think about what a divorce would do...”
His discretion didn’t surprise her but his concern did. Jonah babysitting and worrying about what a divorce would do to these three children he’d only recently met?
She watched a muscle twitch in his jaw. “That’s great, Jonah.” She forced out the words and knew she sounded awkward. “It’s really nice of you—it’s just...”
“I know,” he said tightly. “Surprising, right? Shay, I don’t think I’m as bad as you think I am.”
“I’ve never said you were bad, Jonah.”
“I know, just an arrogant, selfish, materialistic, self-centered, money-obsessed attorney whose priorities are all screwed up.”
Shay’s cheeks reddened. His quote was uncomfortably accurate. She wasn’t proud of the way she’d lost her temper during their conversation two years ago.
“Jonah, I shouldn’t have—”
“And just for the record, while I do love my car, I don’t love it more than I love Gramps.”
Had she also said that? Yes, she had. Wow...that was mean.
“Okay, for that I owe you an extra apology,” Shay said. “It was out of line. I was angry.”
“We both were, Shay.”
She could feel his blue eyes studying her. There was something different about how he was looking at her now—softer, kinder, less animosity—and there was some heat there, too. What was going on?
“You may have been right about some of the things you said... Gary and Ingrid, this whole thing with Gramps, Agnes’s death, and Hannah actually said some things while we were playing bingo. It’s all got me thinking.”
“About what?”
“About what’s really important in life, I guess. Family, relationships...” He swallowed and tipped his chin up for a few seconds, but then his eyes shifted back to her face.
Don’t say it, she pleaded with him silently. Please, don’t say it.
“Children,” he added in a quiet voice, pinning her with his stare.
She stared at him as tears clouded her eyes. She didn’t speak. She couldn’t speak
. Her heart was in her throat and it felt as raw and painful and as damaged as if the miscarriage had happened yesterday and not ten years ago.
She stared at the white screen, waiting for a picture, not wanting to talk about the child they’d almost had—not wanting to talk at all, but unable to stop herself from making the comparison between that stark blank screen and her childless life—her childless future.
“Shay, I think we need to talk about what happened.”
Just the thought of having that conversation terrified her. She didn’t want to talk about it because she didn’t want Jonah to know everything.
“Well, that’s not going to happen tonight, Jonah. The kids are on the way back.” It was difficult to smile and hold back tears at the same time. “Apparently bad timing is our thing.”
The look of concern and sympathy on Jonah’s face nearly did her in. She could only imagine what he would say if he found out she was unable to ever have children.
Shay dredged up a more genuine smile as the kids settled in, munching on popcorn and candy. She managed to talk and joke and make the kids laugh, but she felt relieved when the lights finally dimmed. She lay back on the blanket and stared up at the dark ceiling trying to find some snippet of that peace she’d been hoping this night would bring. But peace seemed futile with Jonah lounging beside her. She couldn’t help but wonder if true peace between her and Jonah was even possible.
CHAPTER TEN
EARLY IN THE MORNING on the day of Agnes Garner’s memorial a blanket of fog crept in from the ocean and shrouded the town of Rankins in a dull gray mist. This was fine with Shay because the sun made her happy and she was in no mood for happy this day. And to make an already difficult day even more trying, she had agreed to attend the service with Caleb and Jonah.
She’d stopped by Caleb’s house the night before to drop off a casserole, relieved when she’d learned that Jonah was out for a run. She’d happily, guiltily made up an excuse not to stick around.
Caleb had walked her to the door. “So, we’ll pick you up tomorrow morning at nine. Service doesn’t start till ten, but I want to get to the church in time to get a seat. There’s gonna be a full house.”
