by Danny Hogan
‘We used to get plenty injured on the farm,’ said she, answering my question before I asked it. Just like her daddy. ‘I found bandage back there in the kitchen but that’s about all, I’m afraid.’
‘We should probably take it in turns to sleep, the other one keeping a lookout,’ I croaked.
She nodded and said, ‘Good idea,’ and finished off tightening the bandage around the splint she made me. She reached into her pocket and produced a gob of cornbread, which she gently pushed into my appreciative yap.
‘You’re pretty messed up. You need to keep your sugar up. I’m sorry there’s no water,’ she said, gently stroking my head.
I don’t know if she had eaten anything. All in all we had only had some stale doughnuts and a few handfuls of fruit and nuts in the previous 48 hours. I was truly about one quarter of my usual strength and I needed Alice to help me up, even though she was weak too. We crept slowly back into the kitchen and slithered back into our respective hidey-holes. We stayed there, me getting a hell of a cramp and in fits of pain, until the light began to fade. I don’t think neither of slept any, but there was no sign or sound of Elliot and his boys.
I opened the door of the storage compartment fully, climbed out and slowly hobbled over to the door; Alice followed behind me.
Slowly, we made our way around to the building we had bedded down in the night before; me hobbling with gun drawn in my left hand. We came across the horrific scene around the slaughtered lanky’uns and mule’s guts.
Those creatures had really gone to work on the beast. What had been its fat belly was nowhere to be seen. Instead there was just a series of pale pink and grey looking innards wrenched out and strewn about. Trails of scarlet vines lead to each of the lanky’uns’ black-toothed mouths. You could clearly see the animal’s bright white spine and his bust apart ribs. One of its hind legs had been ripped clean off and you could see where a bullet had interrupted a lanky’un as it went at the leg like a piece of chicken. By god the mule had the exact same look on its face it had had in life: dumb and surprised.
Although they were dead the lanky’uns still looked totally fearsome: stretched down faces and evil features, their skin sagging in cracked white folds.
Alice gave out a sob on beholding her beloved “Mr. Chocolate” lying on the ground, having been had at like its namesake.
‘Stick with me,’ I said, as I began walking up the stairs of the ruin.
My Marlin, excess ammo, my bag, my shit, my new dress; they were all gone as well as all of our food, water, the 12 gauge and all of Alice’s gear. All of it. The only thing they left us with was our bedding, which looked wet through. The stink coming off of it told me it was piss.
Alice slumped on the floor flopped her head in her hands and moaned: ‘We’re gonna die out here.’
‘Sure looks that way,’ is what I should have said but, instead, I said firmly, ‘We gotta move outta here right now and carry on heading east.’ I realised I only had one pot of chew on my person and I grimaced. ‘It’s our only chance Alice.’
25
We had been at it for hours and hours and that bastard, burning sun had come up to make fun of us. We’d seen nary a soul to beg a drop of water off of. In fact, I realised, we hadn’t seen anyone since Bastrop.
Limping along, almost in a daze, with only three good legs and two good arms between us; I guess you could say our luck had run the hell out and was heading somewhere up north to go gambling with the Yankees.
I took to carrying Comeuppance in my left hand, which wasn’t as strong and I dropped her a lot on the broke up old road. She fell with a clatter here and thump there and, after a while, she was looking as raggedy as I must have been.
Me and Alice hadn’t said much to each other for a while because, out there, there ain’t a lot to say; especially in our hopeless predicament. It took all our energy just to walk and opening your mouth to speak made you dehydrate quicker.
I would call out curses and wishes now and then and Alice would just huff and snarl like some kind of woodland critter. I couldn’t help fantasising out loud about the lavish meal I was gonna order, if we survived this.
Our next stop was supposed to be a place called Brenham, which would’ve taken around twelve hours if we were well fed and not rendered lame. It was a good job we weren’t horses, otherwise they’d’a got a bronco rider to come out and shoot us.
During the night, as we carried on walking, we heard strange calls in the far distance. It chilled my blood and surely did make me feel worse; if that was possible. Hobbling along as I was, I could’ve sobbed. You can bet Alice was snivelling to herself pretty much the whole time.
Eventually I started talking, just to take my mind off our situation.
‘What you gonna do if we manage to gun down Elliot? I mean, afterwards,’ I said, trying to show interest in her and shit.
‘You know how bits are real easy to forge if you have the tools?’ she started.
‘Sure. I heard of a guy out in West Texas who makes hisself a fortune doing that.’
‘Yeah, well I have an idea to make it really difficult to forge them; I’m going to go into business with it.’
‘Typically Jewish,’ I said testily, mopping my brow with my bandanna. ‘So what if someone who’s got the means wants to knock out a few bogus bits? Big deal. Good luck to ’em is what I say.’
‘You fucking redneck. Do you really have to repeat the kind of shit old timers still spout? And are you kidding about the bits? If forging got widespread, as it’s threatening to, then bits will be worthless and then what? You ignorant, racist bitch.’
‘I oughtta beat you down,’ was all I could come up with in response.
‘What, with your bust arm or your shot up leg?’
We mumbled and grumbled at each other a spell and that was about that.
My head hurt like I’d been drinking too much whiskey and I felt real sick. I had no hunger to speak of but one hell of a thirst for some cool water. I prayed for rain, just so that I could stand there with my mouth open and get this itchy desert dust that was caking my clothes and skin off of me.
***
By the time it was mid-morning again my legs were just about to give out when up yonder, in the distance, I saw someone on horseback clopping along lazily at no speed at all.
‘If it’s a man and he’s got water you…’
‘I’m not doing anything,’ snapped Alice. ‘You’re the slut here, not me.’
I stopped in my tracks and got right up in her grill.
‘Excuse me?’ I growled.
‘You thrust those big boobs in everyone’s faces and your fat ass is practically hanging out of those shorts; if you can call them that.’
‘You fucking bitch…’
‘If it’s not killing, guns, and “where’s the next meal coming from?” the only other thing you talk about is getting yourself fornicated. What you waiting for huh? Start getting your tits out and shaking your butt.’
‘I oughta gun you down,’ I snarled pushing Comeuppance under that dainty little chin of hers.
‘Do it, do it,’ she yelled, with some considerable fury. ‘You’ll be doing me a favour. I-I can’t stand looking at you anymore.’ Well that was a kick in the cunt. ‘I’ve been keeping my opinions to myself all this time but, quite frankly, you disgust me,’ she spat.
This little altercation must have gotten the attention of the stranger on the horse ’cos the next thing I heard was the clattering of hooves coming up to us at some speed.
‘What if it’s one of Elliot’s boys, or a bandit?’ Alice blurted, with a face full of fear.
‘Yeah, you need me now don’t you, bitch?’
And with that I turned to level my pistol at the incoming stranger and decided that, if he was trouble, I’ll kill him, shoot that ungrateful bitch Alice and try my hand at riding that pony back to Austin.
26
As the stranger on the horse got nearer he slowed the beast right the way down and held
his hands up all casual.
‘Whoa there miss, I mean you no harm.’
He was a young black man of about our age. He was decked out in loose denims that were covered in desert dust and he had a wide-brimmed pale hat and a rifle in a scabbard on his jet black horse’s shoulder.
He looked at us and we looked at him. Alice’s words were creeping into my heart as the anger subsided so I’d wager I didn’t look none too happy and she sure as hell didn’t.
‘I got water,’ he said, reaching back to peel a canteen off the horses back and shaking it at us.
‘We ain’t got no money,’ I admitted, ‘so if you want your dick sucked for it, she’ll do the honours,’ I finished, nodding in Alice’s direction.
‘Fuck off,’ she screamed at me with a rare vengeance.
He chuckled to himself and shook his head.
‘Desert sure fries the nerves don’t it?’ His voice was rich and comforting and brought the sound of some much needed sanity with it. ‘Ya’ll can have the water.’ He threw the canteen gently to Alice. ‘Nobody’s got to be sucking no dicks for it.’
‘Thank you,’ we both said, pretty much at the same time; but I was riled he had thrown the canteen to her first and I wasn’t sure how much more of that shit I could take.
‘The name’s Tyrone Phillips,’ said he, climbing from his horse in one graceful swing. He reached out a mitt, again to Alice, and by god the blood was rushing to my head.
‘My name’s Alice Goldberg and this,’ she turned to look at me like I was dog shit, ‘is Jezebel.’
‘Jezebel Misery St. Etienne,’ I added, with no humour at all.
‘Haughty name for white trash,’ added Alice.
I felt my old pal rage build up in me something sinister but all I could do was look at her and mutter, ‘You b…’
‘Ladies please,’ said Tyrone. ‘Let’s all have a drink of water and a sit down in that spot of shade just yonder. But I’m afraid I ain’t going to shake your hand until your lower your sidearm there, Jezebel.’
Slowly I lowered the piece but I did not apologise, so ill tempered as I was. I looked over and spot was sure the right word. A kind of natural grotto in some rock made a hint of dark on the ground in front of it. With Tyrone leading his pony we all made our way over and sat down.
After taking long starved gulps Alice passed the canteen to me. I snatched it from her and shoved the spout in my yap and, by god therein was some almighty respite. The water was cool as I could have possibly wanted, and I drank until I could take no more. Removing the spout from my mouth I took in great huffs of air as a little of the precious water dribbled down my chin.
‘By the way,’ began Alice, making sure she had Tyrone’s attention, ‘Jezebel – like name like nature, just so you know. I mean look at her.’
Bide your time Jezebel, bide your time I thought to myself.
‘Like I said, nobody’s gotta be providing me with the good stuff, but thank you kindly for each offering the other to me.’ Tyrone replied, touching his hat for fuck sake. ‘Sure makes a fella feel special.’
‘You a queer?’ I blurted, wiping the water from my chops.
‘No miss,’ he said, chuckling to hisself again. ‘Just a gentleman is all.’
‘Yeah, right,’ I said, plugging my mouth with the last of my chew and rolling my eyes.
‘You know,’ returned Tyrone, looking at me kind of stern, ‘this desert has habit of making folks spout things they oughtn’t. So I’ll let you have that one on the house.’
It was then that I noticed the .45 on his hip. I was in no shape for any gun fighting and the refreshing water had made me calm down a smidge. But, with all the negative talking I sure was feeling mighty down there and then.
‘Sorry,’ I mumbled.
Tyrone got up without saying nothing and walked to his horse and started fussing with his packs. He returned with a box and knelt down by my shot leg.
‘We need to clean this us up. May I?’ he said, looking at me, his big hands hovering above my bandaged injury.
‘Go ahead,’ I said, laying back and supporting myself with my elbows. I was too tired to argue.
As gently as a butterfly he unravelled my bandages and, my word, what a mess lay underneath them. It looked like bites had been taken out of my leg and the blood had become brown and crusty with white goo on top.
As gently as he could he started cleaning my leg with some kind of wipes from out of his box but hell did it sting some. I let out a hiss and a girlish whimper.
‘Don’t worry Jezebel,’ he said, ‘I’ll have it cleaned up in no time.’
I gave Alice a mean and sassy grin and she just glared back at me with her dark eyes and bit her lip as she shook her head.
‘Do you know Brenham?’ asked Alice, still glaring coldly at me as she supped some water from the canteen.
‘I oughta, seeing as I’m stopping there at the moment. I hunt prairie hogs for the eateries there you see. I wouldn’t be out here if there weren’t no money in it.’
‘Is it far?’ Alice said, her demeanour changing to one of excitement. ‘Is it civilized?’
‘I’d say, lame as you are: around an hour, two maybe. And it’s about as civilized as it’s gonna get on this trail I reckon.’
This was real good news.
‘They got bed and board?’ I asked, ‘a place to have a drink?’
‘You’re most welcome to bed down at my lodgings for now,’ and then, looking at the both of us kind of fearful he added, ‘no charge, ya hear?’
He had cleaned my injury real well and it didn’t look bad at all, just a flesh wound really. He took a clean looking roll of off white bandage from out of his bag and began to slowly wrap it around my leg, real delicate.
‘You got the Final Retreat.’ He was doing a real neat number on my leg as he spoke and I felt positively pampered. ‘Retreat can get kind of rough; has a few Faro tables. And on most nights they bring out Fredo.’
‘Fredo?’ I asked.
‘Oh, Fredo ain’t to everybody’s taste and that’s being diplomatic. It’s a goddamned caged lanky’un,’ said he.
‘I don’t want to get near another lanky’un as long as I live, caged or otherwise,’ muttered Alice.
‘Look,’ said Tyrone, ‘I’d be more than willing to take you two Brenham as the way is treacherous with lanky’uns and bandits and the state of you two, I’m surprised you made it this far.’ He tied the knot on my neat looking bandage. ‘I only ask for one thing in return and, before you get any ideas, it ain’t no coupling.’
‘What you want then?’ I asked.
He looked up at both of us.
‘For you two to make up ya’ll differences you be having along the way. Now let me clean up that wrist of yours Alice and we’ll sort out your arm Jezebel when we get to Brenham.’
27
Tyrone packed his bag and he was taking his damned time doing it. He kept on pausing to look over the plains like he was sightseeing or something.
‘Hey man,’ I said, interrupting his repose, ‘you oughtta let me sit up on the pony, seeing as I got a shot leg and all.’
He looked at me with a big old grin and said, ‘Why of course. I was going to offer and it works out kind of perfect.’
‘How so?’ I says, getting all suspicious.
‘Well, it wouldn’t be right for me to sit up there in comfort with you two having walked all this way, now would it?’ Oh crap, I realised, he was just being kind. ‘I was gonna suggest that you and Alice sit up there pillion,’ he continued, ‘and work out you differences at the same time.’
‘Thanks Tyrone, that would be lovely,’ said Alice, kind of cold and looking at me.
‘Yeah, well I’m riding upfront,’ I spat.
Alice rolled her eyes: ‘Whatever Jezebel,’ and huffed, ‘so childish.
Like I said, I ain’t no pony gal. Oh, it was such a laugh for them as Tyrone shoved me up by my butt and heaved until I was hanging across the saddle like a bedroll. One of
the bastards spanked my ass, and they both started hooting.
‘Do that again and I’ll shoot the both of you,’ I hollered.
‘Weren’t me; I’m a gentleman.’
‘Yeah, yeah, I heard.’
Slowly I brought my leg over until I was sitting in it proper fashion. The damned thing did not feel steady at all and made me feel kind of queasy. I also felt that much nearer the sun which did not agree with one bit.
Oh yeah, Alice leapt up on the pony in one graceful swing, like it was an everyday thing, and patted the flank of the horse and gibbered cutesy nonsense; which seemed to steady the fucking thing. Goddamn it.
I tell you, I was not enjoying the feeling at all of her long limbs about me or her little pointy tits stabbing my damned back.
Tyrone gently began to lead the beast by its reins and we were off.
Alice huffed, the horse snorted and I grumbled under my breath.
‘By the state of you two I’d say you were escorting her to the master. I’d ask for my money back if I was Alice,’ he grinned a wide old grin, awful proud of himself as he was.
‘S’right I think I will,’ piped in Alice.
‘You ain’t paid me shit, and what’s the deal here? You gonna round on me Tyrone and expect me to make up with Alice? Fuck all ya’ll.’
‘Sorry Jezebel, I’ll truly butt out now,’ said Tyrone.
It was a good twenty minutes of rocking up there on that beast’s back and getting freaked out with the heat that Alice’s crotch was kicking out before I got my act together having reminded myself that I was the righteous one here.
‘Be honest, you started it by damning me as a whore,’ I said, breaking the long hard silence.
‘Look, maybe I was a little harsh.’
‘A little harsh? You made me feel like some kind of pig.’
‘You held a gun to me didn’t you? Threatened to blow my head off.’
The sun was really getting to me and I made a grasp for the canteen that was sloshing, teasingly, on the flank of Tyrone’s horse but Alice put her hand on it.
