by Amanda Heath
Save Me
Make or Break #3
Amanda Heath
Other books by Amanda Heath
Young Love Series
This Beautiful Thing
Fire In Her Eyes
Norma Jean
Wrong Kind of Love
Make or Break Series
Make Me
Break Me
Save Me
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Epilogue
About the Author
Acknowledgements
Make Me
Break Me
For Jessy Johnson, Tamsyn Bester, Lisa Kane, and Heather Andrews
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Prologue
Annabella Gage.
That’s whom I blame everything on. Well, everything that has happened in the last two months. If she hadn’t pulled that shit during spring break, my life wouldn’t be leading down this path. My life would have stayed the same and I wouldn’t be standing here watching Royal Sanders’ fist fly at my face.
Let’s back up a few. For those of you just joining us, I have quite a few things to explain. Beginning with Annabella Gage, who I used to affectionately call Ella. She’s been a fixture in my life for as long as I can remember. Her mom and my mom were best friends growing up, so when Ella and her older brother Victor were born, my mother became their godmother. Annabella’s parents died in a car accident when she was seven. Her and Vic moved in with my mother, my older sister Ashley, my older brother Donovan and me.
If one thing stands out to you about Annabella, it will probably be the long honey-colored hair that matches her eyes exactly. It used to freak me out a little bit, but only because those eyes…well they have this way of capturing your soul.
I know this to be true because that bitch stole my soul along with Van’s. Van being a nickname for Donovan. Though, if you’re a chick, I don’t think you have anything to be worried about. She doesn’t seem to have the utter devastation set up for the females in her life. I’ve even started to wonder if she stole her brother’s soul.
The way he defends her and everything she has done, you’d think it too. There is being overprotective and then there is being blind. Vic is blind when it comes to Annabella. Then again, she is the only thing he has other than his girlfriend, my sister Ashley. They all live in a house together, so I guess he thinks he’s the only one who would be on her side. I hate to say it, but he’s right about that one.
Ashley and Victor have been living together for years, and have been together longer than that. The second Annabella did what she did, and Vic took her back, Ashley moved out of his house and into mine. Donovan refuses to come home, but I saw that coming. Donovan might be my brother, but he hasn’t been my brother in a long ass time.
Why? Because of Annabella Gage.
So here are the words I wish I didn’t have to tell you. The words I wish I could erase from my life and move forward from here. But I can’t, because whether I like it or not, Annabella and Donovan are my family. Nothing is more important than family. I’ll live with that belief until my last dying breath.
When I was thirteen years old, I decided I was in love with Annabella Gage. Annabella decided about the same time, she was in love with Donovan Pierce. You see where this is going, don’t you? Yes, you do.
I followed Annabella around like my life depended on it. She followed my brother around like her life depended on it. We spent our whole lives together, yet she had no idea how I felt. And even if she did, she sure as fuck didn’t care. I think at this point I want to believe she had no idea, not until Van was a senior in high school. Which was about two years ago.
It didn’t become a big deal until Annabella decided to pull some crazy shit to get Van to notice her. I had to watch that. I had to watch them be together for years, and it killed something inside of me. I’m not really sure what, I just know I was never the same after Van and Annabella started dating. I became Pierce the asshole. Not that I wasn’t an asshole before this, I just got worse.
This is where I bring Wesley into the story. Wesley is my cousin, or I should say, my sister from my uncle. I think of her as a sister, not my cousin, but once, I didn’t have that right. And that was when her boyfriend, Trey, passed away. It was tragic for her to lose him. I think Trey was the reason Wes got up in the morning, the reason she existed. Then a drunk driver killed him and her life seemingly ended.
I don’t know what that feels like because when Annabella pulled her shit, she for one didn’t die, and secondly, after she pulled her shit I kind of wanted to hurt her myself. It was good when she tucked her tail in and ran off. I hope the slut never comes out of hiding.
Anyway, Wes wasn’t the same after Trey but I didn’t know what to do with her. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. She and Trey spent all their time together, they were in love, more in love than I think anyone our age should be. It was the kind of love you don’t ever get over, you just have to go on.
This was the first time I ever thought Annabella was…off. She told me we had to give Wes her space. She didn’t need us breathing down her neck all the time or hanging out with her when she needed to be grieving for Trey. I thought this sounded like shit, but because she was Wes’s best friend, I took what she said to heart.
Big mistake.
Wes slowly started to fade away. She would be standing there with us but she wasn’t there. She was with Trey and that wasn’t a good place to be. He was dead and she needed to be with the living. I told Annabella we weren’t doing right by Wes, but she talked me out of thinking about it. Mainly because Annabella loves to talk about herself. And back then I loved to hear it. I wanted to know everything I could because I was a lovesick obsessed idiot.
This is where I’ll bring in Channing Southerland and his best friend Royal Sanders. Channing is Ashley’s younger half brother. My mom has been married twice. Once to Ashley and Channing’s dad and once to Van and my dad. Neither of these men were good men. I think I take after my mom in the sense I know how to pick my love interests. And I pick the shittiest girls I can find.
So growing up, Channing wanted nothing to do with Ashley. I took this as a total insult to my sister and decided to hold a life-long grudge against him. This is where I look like an even bigger asshole. I didn’t know what Channing went through. I didn’t care. I just knew he was hurting someone I love and it wasn’t right.
I used to trip him in the hallways, I used to spit in his lunch at school, and I used to steal his backpack and throw away his homework. That was in middle school. In high school I got a little more creative.
Channing has a girlfriend, Paisley, and they have been together for months. But before Paisley, I stole his girls. I didn’t do it all the time, but I did cock block him a few times. I once stole his Jag and parked it on the football field. I broke into his locker once a week for most of high school and taped pictures of Ashley all over it. Once, he left his phone in his locker in the locker room and I programmed all his contacts to say “Ashley.”
I’m not proud of any of that, but I sometimes think I made him feel like shit for hurting Ashley. I didn’t know that I would be the one to actually bring them together, but we’ll get to that l
ater.
Our senior year, Van went away for college. This left Annabella in my hands and she took advantage of that. We were together every moment we could be, leaving Wes out of things because Annabella said we needed to leave her alone.
This is the one thing in my life I wish I could take back. How I left Wes alone like that. It’s not an excuse, to have listened to Annabella like I did, but I did. I can’t take it back. I can only make it up to Wes and for the last seven weeks, I’ve tried to.
Royal though, he saw what I was doing. And he swooped in there while my back was turned. The dick fell in love with Wes and Wes fell in love with the dick. I was pissed at first, but at about that time I realized I wasn’t treating Wes like I should. Then I saw him look at her like she was the only girl in the world. He loves her with everything he is and I…well I can’t say anything about that. She needed him, more than she ever needed Trey and I wasn’t about to take that away. Annabella wanted to, but I put my fucking foot down. Wes, more than anyone, deserved to be happy and no one was going to ruin that.
Well, that might not be true because two months ago, Annabella broke up with Van. And I broke up with whoever I was dating at the time. I don’t really keep up with their names; they are all “babe” to me. I said I was a dick, so stopping acting like you’re surprised. I’m not proud of it, but they were literally around for one thing.
Then we went on spring break; Annabella and I. And I thought it was one thing but it turned out to be another. You see, I was helping Annabella cheat on my brother, long before spring break. When Wes started dating Royal, things in my head started to get really twisted. Little did I realize that Annabella was just a crazy, twisted manipulative bitch. She was pulling me along, saying everything I wanted to hear and then when I started falling away she used her goods to get what she wanted from me.
She used the excuse that she wanted to tell Van in person, but I should have known better. She just wanted to have both of us, and when she decided I wasn’t good enough anymore, she knocked me to my ass. I told that bitch I loved her and she said she could never love a weak man like me. When those words came out of her beautiful mouth, I died inside. Though I think I might have been dead inside long before that. Something inside of me, the happy part, refuses to live. I guess you could say I had it beaten out of me.
And that night, seven weeks ago, when Annabella Gage ripped my heart out of my chest for the last time, I found something to take my pain away. Or, I should say, she found me.
So when life couldn’t seem to get more complicated, life threw Rachel Sanders at me. Before that night seven weeks ago, I didn’t think much about Rachel. I just knew her twin brother was best friends with Channing Southerland.
When I say I didn’t think much, I mean I didn’t give any thought as to talk to Rachel or be around Rachel. I’ve always thought the chick was hot. Long brown hair, red and blonde highlights shining in the sun. Amazing brown eyes with flecks of gold and green. They look like they hold all her secrets, but you have no hope of finding out any of them. Then you have that body. Great tits that are followed by a flat stomach and wide hips. Plus her incredible ass, which I admit, I have checked out a million times. Then you have those legs, legs that go on for miles. I can’t help but think of those legs wrapped around me. When I say me, I mean around my hips, or around my face. It doesn’t matter, I’m not a picky guy.
I even find the way she dresses sexy. Annabella dresses like an uptight rich bitch. Her fashion choices are the most expensive and up to date. Rachel, you can tell, dresses like she has money, but it’s not in your face. Plus, she adds in a lot of skulls and pink. I find this a weird combination but it works for her.
Rachel’s voice….mmmm. The way her soft words flow through my ears and around my head, it’s like talking to an angel. Wes says she can sing, and I don’t doubt that for a minute. I also like the way Rachel’s voice sounds when she’s getting off. Mews, moans, whimpers, it doesn’t matter. I’ve never taken someone like her to my bed. Someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to ask for it. Everyone else is a cold bitch or way too submissive. They don’t even compare.
“Court…” Rachel would whisper against my neck. No one has ever called me by my first name with me liking it. Rachel, I’ve found, could do and say a lot of things around me I don’t usually like and BAM! I like everything that comes out of her mouth. She’s fucking funny and dorky. She talked the whole night except when I was inside her or until she finally fell asleep. And then I did something else I never do; I let her sleep there.
I’m not stupid. I knew Rachel wouldn’t stay. She is way too good for me. She doesn’t know half the fucked up shit I’ve done. Mostly only the things I’ve done to Channing or what I put my brother through because of Annabella. If she knew all of it, she wouldn’t want to stay with me. She would want to go back to her perfect boyfriend Kellan in her perfect high school life.
So after that night seven weeks ago, Rachel became a memory. One I might hold close, but if you tell anyone that, I might have to beat the shit out of you. But her leaving, hurt all the same. I read too much into it, I hoped for too much and I got left with nothing. The fucking story of my life. Those damn One Direction dudes had it right.
I always pick the wrong girl. Annabella was a big “NO SHIT” there, but I’ve explained that bitch. Rachel, on the other hand, was like a really good dream. I had it for a night and in the morning it made me feel sick because it wasn’t real. I don’t know if she meant any of it, but I don’t care. She was there and she felt what I felt.
Annabella and Rachel.
One I wish never existed.
One I wish would just look at me one more time, like she did that night.
Seems I’ll never have what I want. So what else is new?
Chapter One
Paisley opens the door after Wesley knocks but she is distracted by the phone in her hand pressed up to her ear. “You can’t tell him! No, no, no! Let Rachel tell him! I mean it, Channing. If you fucking say anything I’m going to cut your junk off!” She screams and hangs up on him.
Then she looks up at us and then down at her phone. “Okay. You have walked into a crazy situation. I’m sorry that you did, but there’s not much I can do about it.” Then she grabs Wes’s arm and pulls her inside, before pointing toward her bedroom. “Go in there and take care of Rachel. For some damn reason you’re the only one who can calm her down.” Then she grabs me and pulls me inside. “Channing has his PS3 hooked up in the living room. Play whatever you want. This is going to be a long dramatic day. I know how you are with drama so just sit there and pretend it’s not going on.” I nod, knowing exactly what she means. When the drama starts flying, I’m headed in the other direction.
Paisley’s phone rings while she squats down by the PS3 and she nearly jumps out of her skin. “You okay, Paisley?” I murmur from the couch, my eyebrows raised.
Her blue eyes meet mine and she looks lost for a moment. Her phone stops ringing but she doesn’t seem to notice. “You ever feel like you can’t take any more shit? Like one day you might blow the fuck up because everything is about to come crashing down around you?”
I look at her for a second before I chuckle. “I helped Annabella cheat on my brother. My world already came crashing down around me.”
Paisley blinks before rising to her feet. “Yeah, I forget sometimes what you were like before she left.” Then she jumps when her phone starts ringing again. She swipes her finger across the iPhone and puts it up to her ear. She opens her mouth to say something but she bites her lip instead listening to the person on the other end. After awhile she speaks. “Okay, I’m sorry I hung up on you but you’re going to have to get over it. I’m tripping the fuck out, so just get here and we will tell them both together. No need to have Royal beating the shit out of Kellan before Kellan even knows what for.”
Then she smiles at me and walks toward her bedroom. The skin around my forehead breaks out into a cold sweat. Why, I can’t tell y
ou. I feel like the other shoe is about to drop and I’m not going to be standing anymore.
Thirty minutes later Channing, Royal and Kellan show up. Royal and Kellan seem surprised to see me, but I guess Channing had a heads up. I have a feeling this isn’t something they need me around for, so I head into the kitchen before the girls exit Paisley’s bedroom.
Paisley and Wesley stand at the front of the living room, and Paisley has Kellan and Royal sit on the couch. Channing stands behind the couch and I notice his white knuckles as he grips the back. This isn’t looking good.
Then Rachel walks out. I have this overwhelming urge to run to her. Her face is pale white and her eyes are red and puffy. She’s been crying and I want to know why. Though, it isn’t my place because she doesn’t want it to be my place. The pain from seven weeks ago rears its ugly head and I close my eyes to block it out. Paisley speaks and I open them back up.
“Okay. Okay. Okay,” Paisley says three times. The redhead looks like she’s either about to faint or barf up her lunch.
An uneasy feeling snakes its way through my gut. I don’t know what’s going on but I now it’s about to get really bad.
I’ve been sticking to Wesley like glue since Annabella took off. I’ve also become friends with Channing and Royal, which is strange in and of itself. They both had a swim meet today, so I came over to Paisley’s house with Wesley.
“Rachel’s pregnant,” Wesley blurts, looking at Royal. I’ve got a glass of water in my hand but the second her sentence is done, I drop it on the floor. I feel all the color drain out of my face. The only thing I see in my head is the torn condom as I pull out of Rachel’s wet heat.
Fuck my life.
Wesley’s head swivels toward me when my glass breaks on the floor. Her eyes get wide and I know she figured something out in her head, I just don’t know what. I don’t know much of anything right now. My head is still stuck on what Wes said to begin with. “Oh my fucking god,” she blurts, staring wide-eyed at me. “Please, for the love of everything that’s holy, tell me you didn’t, Courtney Wentworth Pierce!”
