The Name of Red

by Beena Khan

  “Let me drop you off. It’s late now, and you shouldn’t be driving drunk,” he offered, cautiously.

  She smiled. “I’ll be fine, goodnight.”

  Kabir wanted to protest and follow after her, but he didn’t trust himself around her at the moment. Instead he asked a reliable source, Aryan. He walked up to him as Elif prepared to leave the bar.

  “Can you drop her home?” he asked Aryan.

  “Why don’t you take her?” Aryan asked instead.

  “I get... weird around her,” he admitted.

  Aryan grinned at him. “You’re whipped.”

  Kabir playfully punched him in the shoulder. “Better than you pining for someone.”

  Aryan narrowed his eyes on him and shook his head. “Samar is a shitty human being by the way. He crossed a line.”

  Kabir was silent for a moment before replying, “He did overstep. He’s a bad drunk.”

  “You can’t use alcohol as an excuse. Lose him,” Aryan muttered. “He knows how you feel about her, yet it edges him on to go after her.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know why he’s doing that.” Kabir frowned before continuing, “She wouldn’t fall for someone like him.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Aryan shot back.

  Kabir laughed abruptly, shrugging. “She just smashed a bottle on his head.”

  A smile reluctantly broke out on Aryan’s face. “Fine. I’m dropping her home.” Then he walked up to Elif.

  Kabir watched as the pair made their way out of the restaurant, wishing it was him walking with her.

  Chapter 12

  Nadia stopped by Elif’s table.

  She looked embarrassed as she didn't want to know what to say. Elif smiled at her. “I wanted to apologise for my brother's behavior again,” Nadia said quietly.

  Elif's smile disappeared, as she remembered the night before.

  “Well, I smashed a bottle on your brother's head. I shouldn’t have used physical violence, but I’m not sorry for that,” Elif admitted honestly.

  “If it makes you feel better, he had five stitches on his forehead,” Nadia said, giving Elif a small smile.

  Elif laughed abruptly imagining the sight of Samar’s busted forehead. Her delightful laughter caught Nadia off guard removing the tension that filled both women. Soon, both women were laughing until they had tears in the corner of their eyes that threatened to spill over. Their laughs could be overheard by the people around them, who began to glare at them for laughing so loud. But they couldn’t stop laughing, even when their ribs began to hurt. Their laughter echoed through the night.

  It was a happiness Elif hadn't felt in a very long time.

  After they had calmed down, Elif wiped the tears from her eyes.

  “I haven’t laughed like that in a while,” she admitted.

  “Cheers to firsts.” Nadia grinned at her as she clinked her coke glass against Elif’s vodka glass.

  “I think I want wine today,” Elif said after downing her drink. She ordered two more rounds of wine and soon downed that too.

  ❖

  Elif was once again in the presence of Aryan.

  She stared at him.“So, Mr. Romance hater, are you single?”

  “Yeah,” he huffed.

  “You sound unhappy.” A smile played at Elif’s lips.

  Aryan took a deep breath and replied, “I fell in love with a girl when I was homeless.”

  Oh.

  Elif looked up at him, surprised. “What happened?”

  “I’m Sikh...and she was Muslim. Her parents didn't like me. I didn't have any money nor a job. She obeyed her parents and left me. I don’t blame her but it was... painful.”

  “I’m sorry,” Elif said sadly.

  Heartbreak is a terrible and a cruel thing, she thought.

  “How did you two meet?” she asked.

  Aryan’s face brightened up at the memory.

  He’s still in love with her.

  “Before I met Kabir, she was the kindest person I knew. She was...lovely. She was studying at the university, and she had her own apartment. She let me move in with her. Her parents found out after six months, and I was back on the streets again. She was the one who helped me advance my English. She taught me.”

  Elif was in awe as she listened. “That’s so sweet.” Then, she asked, “How did her parents react?”

  Aryan’s silence was painful.

  After a few moments he spoke, “They cussed at me, and I got a beating. Her parents threatened to get her married elsewhere. I don’t know if she ever did.”

  Holy. First, Kabir and now Aryan.

  “How did you cope?” she asked after a deep breath, glancing at the floor. She wanted to know how he coped with his pain, because the way she coped with hers was destroying her.

  Aryan looked at her and gave her a sad smile as if he understood the double meaning behind her question. “I lived on the streets again for months trying to survive. Then I met Kabir. Bartending gave me a job, respect, money, and success. If he isn’t available, then he leaves me in charge. I’m forever grateful to him. We’re brothers, and we’re bound by loss.”

  She noticed as Aryan’s eyes lit up at the mention of Kabir. There was respect and undevoted passion in his statement.

  He looked at her and said, “I don’t know what you have been through. Your pain might be greater than mine or Kabir or both of us combined, but we still stayed alive and learned to move on.”

  She smiled at him and asked softly, “You’re alive but do you really live?”

  Aryan stayed silent and looked at her, really looked at her. “I’m grateful that life has given me another opportunity. I’m grateful how I've turned my life around. I have moments where I feel alive, and sometimes I don’t, but I try. I still try, because I still have hope. Hope gives you courage to live. Kabir tries...you need to try too, Elif.”

  Then, he walked away.

  ❖

  Kabir saw Nadia and Aryan speaking with Elif earlier. He was waiting for an opportunity when she was alone before he approached her.

  She was drinking wine instead today.

  She said she drinks wine when she’s in a good mood, he thought. He gazed at her in her brown velvet colored dress with a deep neckline. Her hair that usually hung free was in a low ponytail today. A few tendrils of hair floated around her face.

  She smiled up at him as he approached her.

  “You're drinking wine today, Red? What’s the special occasion?” he asked.

  Elif smiled, happily. “I’m celebrating our friendships. I’m glad I met you, Aryan, and Nadia.”

  Kabir ran a hand through his hair as he blushed.

  I’m glad I met you too.

  “It’s nice to see you happy.” Kabir remembered the night before and asked her, “So, you’re an engineer?”

  “Yeah.”

  “No wonder you’re addicted to the idea of me changing my lounge.” He smiled and continued saying, “Do you have the color schemes ready yet?”

  She shook her head, no and gave him a small smile as if she's sorry. “I’m inconsistent. I will get you them but it’ll take time.”

  “It’s okay, take your time.” He continued saying, “It’s more common in South Asian culture for women to lean more toward medicine than engineering.”

  “Since when do you and I follow the norm?” she asked him. “You’re a man, but you’re a doctor, and I’m a woman, and I’m an engineer.”

  Kabir grinned at her words.

  “How did you get into engineering?” he asked.

  “I always loved designing. I work in mechanical engineering.”

  He was impressed. “You build machines?”

  Elif nodded. “Anything from machines, electrical generators, elevators, aquariums, bridges, dams, and so much more. I’m one of the few women at my workplace.”

  Kabir was fascinated. “Do you get paid the same as your male colleagues in the same position?”

  She shook her head no and replied with
a smile, “Two of my melae colleagues started around the same time as I did and have the same amount of experience as me, but they make a few grand more than me.”

  He whistled quietly.

  “That isn’t fair. Why don’t you complain?” Kabir asked her.

  “And say what? I will just get labeled as bad feminist,” Elif said, her eyes sparkling.

  He grinned at her, remembering she saw the book Bad Feminist in his bookshelves the first time they met.

  We have an inside joke.

  He took a seat next to her. After a few minutes, he randomly asked Elif, “What’s your favorite color?’

  “I like blue.”

  Her favorite color is the color of her eyes.

  “What about you?”

  “I like green.”

  “What’s the best thing that has ever happened to you?” Elif asked randomly.

  Kabir glanced at her, not sure how to answer her question.

  After some thinking, he replied, “When I was accepted in medical school.” A smile appeared on his face. “I love medical science. I like doing surgeries. If anything is broken, I’m addicted to fixing it. Of course, I wanted to save the lives of people, but being a surgeon is powerful. It meant I was in control of someone else’s life. It was scary, and terrifying, but it was a nice change for me. At the moment, I was in complete control.”

  “What did you specialize in the program?”

  “I liked cardiothoracic surgery.”

  “Have you ever lost a patient?” Elif asked.

  Kabir glanced at her, surprised. “Honest truth time, huh?”

  She offered a small smile. “Only if you want to share.”

  Kabir bowed his head, and remembered that incident, where he lost his patient. He had failed that one time. He tensely replied, “Yeah, every surgeon has a patient that they lost. I lost a patient because of a careless mistake I made that could’ve been avoided. The patient’s name was...Graham Miller.”

  “What happened?” she asked.

  Kabir was silent for a few seconds. He kept on folding his hands and unfolding them repeatedly on the bar table, his anxiety building up. Then, he spoke up.

  “During the heart transplant, we ran out of blood in the operating room. We underestimated how much we would need beforehand. I went to go get extra blood, but I gave the patient the wrong blood type during the blood transfusion. I remembered reading the chart earlier that day, but I didn’t focus on his blood type. I thought it was blood type A. He was actually blood type B. I didn’t know until he began falling ill later on,” Kabir said.

  “What happened then?” Elif asked gently.

  “His brain began to swell and bleed. He had irreversible brain damage from the wrong blood type. Two weeks later, he was...brain dead. He had waited three years for a heart transplant,” he replied.

  Kabir reluctantly turned to Elif who looked stunned.

  I shouldn’t have told her, he thought.

  “Wow, shit. That’s...deep. I’m sorry you went through that,” she replied carefully. After taking a deep breath, she continued saying, “It was a mistake.”

  “It was a critical failure on my part. I didn’t confirm the blood types. I shouldn’t have assumed. It was a rookie move.” Kabir scoffed at the memory and his impulsive behavior back then.

  “Did the patient ever know what actually happened?”

  “No. My attending said not to mention it to the patient to avoid a lawsuit. I should’ve been fired, but my attending said it was a mistake. He said it was a mistake that could have cost me the rest of my career and life. He knew I would be careful next time.”

  Kabir could feel Elif’s gaze on her.

  What is she thinking?

  “Did you ever tell that patient's family?” she asked.

  He shook his head sadly and replied, “I want to.”

  “You should though.”

  He took a deep breath and continued, “I realized after that mistake why attendings are so hardcore and strict on their interns and residents. It’s to prevent rookie, careless mistakes that kill people. We deal with life and death.”

  “Do you ever want to go back to practicing medicine?”

  Kabir smiled sadly, “I wish.”

  “Is that why you dropped out of residency?” she asked.

  He turned toward her, and he noticed she was looking at him closely. “It’s one of the reasons.”

  “Did this occur before or after your engagement ended?”

  Kabir smiled. She put two and two together.

  “After,” he replied. “I don’t deserve to be a doctor after what I did.”

  “How did you cope with it all?” Elif asked him. At her words, Aryan glanced at her in surprise. She had asked him the same question earlier.

  “I prayed to God. I prayed every day for things to be okay one day.”

  “God helped you?” she asked.

  Kabir turned to look at her. “Yeah, he sent you as my friend.”

  She grinned at him. “More like he sent you to me. I came to New York. I came to this bar so I can run into you.”

  Kabir smiled in return but remained mute.

  She noticed his expression. “You need a clean slate. Surgery is your passion. Go back.”

  He was silent for a few moments, and he shook his head no. Then he said, “I loved being a surgeon more than anything. It was a rush holding people’s hearts in my hands.”

  “You’re a heart’s man,” Elif said, taking a sip of her drink as her eyes met his. Her eyes are two blue orbs that stared at him, and his heart skipped a beat. She wasn't touching him, but her gaze touched him in ways that he didn’t know were possible.

  Chapter 13

  Later in the week, Elif was in her comfort zone.

  Her magenta-colored dress hung from one shoulder, hugging her form. She was drinking when a man approached her.

  “Hey.”

  Elif turned in the direction of the deep voice and raised her heavily-kohled eyes at the man next to her.

  He is handsome, kind of like a Ken doll, she thought.

  The man was tall, taller than six-feet. He had black hair styled back with gel and skin that was recently tanned. He had dark, brown eyes, an angular jawline, and his lips were full. He was wearing a navy blue suit.

  He spends more time grooming his hair than I do..

  She stifled a giggle.

  “May I sit here?” he asked as his eyebrows pointed to the empty stool next to Elif’s. She stared at him for a few moments before shrugging.

  The man smiled at her and took a seat next to her.

  ❖

  Kabir was in the back at the registrar when he noticed a man was talking to Elif.

  He knew this man.

  His face turned into disapproval at the chaos that would begin in front of him.

  ❖

  The man in the navy blue suit ordered a martini for himself before turning toward Elif. “My name is Faizan, what’s your name?”

  She folded one leg in front of the other, dangling one high heel on her bare leg. She noticed how his eyes dropped down to stare at her legs, especially when her dress rode up her leg. She kept her face disinterested, as she hesitated before responding with a lie, “Ruby.”

  “Is that your real name?”

  Elif eyed him briefly, and she didn't choose to answer.

  “What’s a girl like you, doing alone? I'm surprised no one is here with you,” Faizan observed.

  She didn't appreciate his comment and carefully said, “Why does a girl like me need someone by her side?”

  His eyebrows creased as he smiled. “Well, you’re beautiful,”

  “Compliments won’t get you my number.” She didn’t know why she was still conversing with him, but he was nice to look at, and she didn’t want to send him running yet.

  “Do you come here often?” he asked after attempting a different approach.

  “Yes, I live here practically.” Elif downed her drink quickly before ord
ering one. She quickly downed that too after five minutes.

  Faizan raised his eyebrows. “Wow, you drink a lot.”

  Elif ignored him and continued drinking.

  “Do you want me to walk away?” he asked softly.

  Elif paused briefly at her drink and looked at him sideways.

  She remained silent.

  Faizan met her with a smile as if he realized he had the upper hand in the situation. He ordered another drink for her.

  By the end of the night, Elif was drunk.

  “Do you want to call it a night? Should I take you home?” Faizan asked her.

  He hadn’t drunk much, he was tipsy, but his condition was still stable to drive. Elif attempted to rise from her seat, but her legs were wobbling under her. Faizan reached out a hand to steady her and took her outside.

  They were near Faizan’s car before a dark figure in a black shirt came up behind them and grabbed Elif’s hand, pulling her away from Faizan.

  ❖

  Kabir followed Elif and Faizan outside.

  He didn’t like the scene in front of him, so without thinking, he grabbed her hand, pulling her toward him.

  She yelped in surprise and turned to look at who grabbed at her. She saw Kabir and smiled.

  “Kabir! My friend!” she said, hugging him. She clung to him smiling. Kabir didn't look at Elif, he wasn't focused on the fact that she was touching him. His eyes were solely focused on the man in front of him. He clenched his right hand in a fist.

  “What are you doing here, at my restaurant?” he gritted his teeth, as he questioned the man.

  “Do you two know each other?” Elif said, slurring slightly.

  “Yeah we do. We went to high school together,” he replied. He didn't provide any more information and narrowed his eyes at Faizan.

  “Faizan is very nice.” Elif slurred as she turned to face Faizan who smirked at her.

  “He’s not a good person,” Kabir said as he looked down softly at Elif who was wrapped around his arm.

  “It was the past, Kabir. Drop it,” Faizan said, shrugging.

  She turned in the direction of Faizan raising an eyebrow. Then, she turned to look upward at Kabir waiting for more information.