The Name of Red

by Beena Khan

  Kabir gazed at his restaurant’s window, no longer was it frosted. The frost was gone, and gone was the bitterness that it brought upon him. Kabir was amazed as the cold, winter had left, it also uplifted Elif's mood.

  Elif was doing better, she looked better.

  She still didn’t wear her dresses or makeup. He hoped she would, but she began reading again. He saw her sitting down, her freckled nose buried in her book. The sunshine hit her dark hair. Her hair was longer now and it glided a few inches down her back. She looked thinner, as if she had lost weight. The golden rays on her made her the center of attention once again.

  Kabir walked up to her and asked her, “What are you reading today?”

  “Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.”

  “What’s the story?” he asked.

  “It’s about two people who love each other, but they can't be with each other,” Elif answered, flipping a page then turning to gaze at him.

  His breath got caught in his throat and his voice wavered when he asked, “What’s stopping them?”

  “He’s married to someone else.”

  You’re still married to your dead husband, and you can't be with me. Kabir thought.

  “I’m finished with it, you should borrow it and read it sometime,” Elif said smiling down at him as she passed the book to him.

  ❖

  Elif was deep in thought and asked Aryan for her vodka.

  He made her drink and slowly asked, “How are you doing?”

  Elif looked up at him, before burying her face back in her book. “I’m coping.”

  “You can always share with us, you know, right?”.

  Elif flashed a grateful smile at him.

  “You’re a brother that I never had,” she said softly.

  Aryan grinned at her.

  “Personal question, did you ever try reaching out to Aanaah?”

  Aryan instantly lost his grin, and he sighed. “You sure know how to kill a moment.” He was silent before he added, “A year and a half ago, I tried going back to her apartment, but she no longer lives there anymore. Her phone number has been changed. I don’t have any idea where she is,” he confessed.

  Elif’s heart went out for him.

  “Life can be tough,” she said.

  “That’s true. We’re all people who life has messed up. Wafa left Kabir, and he fucked up his career because of it. I was homeless, and my girlfriend left me. Your husband died, and you're drinking your life away,” he said shaking his head.

  Elif smiled. After a moment, she asked, “Who told you about Isaah? I know Kabir would never tell. He wouldn’t tell a soul.”

  Aryan gave her a mischievous smile.

  Elif’s mouth dropped open and she laughed. “Of course I forgot. You’re the bartender who’s always creeping and listening. You know everyone’s secrets,” Elif exclaimed, slapping a hand against her forehead.

  She remembered all the times she spoke with Kabir, Aryan was there at the bar. Even though, momentarily she had forgotten about him, he was still there at every moment.

  Aryan looked proud of his achievements.

  Elif giggled at him.

  “Do you want a prize for being right?” Aryan asked.

  “What’s my prize? A free vodka?” she asked, jokingly.

  “Water.”

  Then, he placed a glass of cold, icy, water in front of her.

  She grinned at him and took the drink.

  The cold glass rim was refreshing against her dry lips. The cold water felt like luxury drinking in the warm, spring weather. She savored the drops of water as it made its way down her throat. A chill ran down her throat and her head gave an involuntary shake. She never received this feeling from drinking booze, maybe because she barely drank cold water. She drank the water fast, too fast, and her brain became numb.

  The coldness reminded her of winter.

  I’ve found solace in winter again.

  “I want more water, my pretty,” she demanded.

  Aryan grinned and gave her another cold glass of water.

  She drained the glass quickly. It was addicting like it was drinking Slurpee in her childhood. She began to eat the ice that was left over.

  Kabir saw Elif eating ice and he was surprised.

  He glided through the people to reach her and sat down on the stool next to her. He looked over at her and opened his mouth to speak but clamped it shut. He lost his breath at the sight of her. Her hands were wet with water. He watched her throat bobbed as she swallowed the icy water. Her pale, pink lips were wet and they looked cold. Droplets of water dripped from her mouth, drawing his attention to her lips. He wanted to reach out and wipe the drops away, but he didn’t.

  He couldn’t.

  Instead, he said, “Hi... Red.”

  She tilted her head toward him, still eating her ice. “Hi back.”

  “You’re eating ice,” he said slowly.

  She smiled and nodded toward Aryan. “Courtesy of our precious bartender.” Aryan glanced backward at her and gave a sheepish smile.

  “You look better,” Kabir said, studying her.

  “I am,” she admitted, as she finished swallowing her ice. She licked her lips, her tongue swiping at the corner of her lips. She turned toward him. “I feel tired these days, but I’m doing good.”

  Dammit, who knew ice could be so interesting.

  “Are you going to start wearing dresses again?” he asked her.

  She laughed loudly, slapping her hand against her thigh. “That’s what’s on your mind?” she asked.

  Not really. You don’t want to know.

  “You’re a strange soul. You wore dresses throughout winter, and now that spring is here, you stopped wearing dresses,” he said.

  Elif giggled. After a few seconds, she was quiet and said in a low voice, “I wore dresses because Isaah loved me wearing them. It gave me closure. I’ve always preferred jeans.”

  Kabir was surprised and his eyebrows rose. He never knew that she actually didn’t like wearing dresses.

  “I would like to see the comeback of a dress,” he admitted softly.

  “First, I wear dresses for Isaah, and now for you? What about what darling Red wants to wear?” she asked, throwing her hands in the air.

  Kabir looked down at the ground, pouting. “I’m used to seeing you in them now.”

  She took pity on him and promised, “When I feel happier, I’ll wear one. This time, when I want.” She pointed to herself as she spoke.

  He looked up at her and smiled. “Deal.”

  “You don’t have a book for me today?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “You practically finished most of my library.”

  “You have over five hundred books!” she exclaimed.

  “No more books for you. They have served their purpose.”

  Elif arched an eyebrow at him and asked, “What purpose?”

  “Trying to get you to talk to me,” he admitted.

  She rolled her eyes at him skyward. “I already knew that,” Then, she gazed at him. “That was a smooth entrance though. You slid right in.”

  Kabir grinned. “You let me in.”

  “Yeah, I did. The only one who got in. An exception, now don’t boast about it.” She wrinkled her nose at him. He reached out and flicked a finger on it. She tried to smack her hand away, laughing.

  “So I’m special?” he asked.

  She looked at him, really looked at him this time. “Yes, you’re very dear to me.”

  Kabir felt shy under her gaze and looked away.

  “It’s kinda adorable when you blush,” she admitted, flashing him a toothy smile.

  His face blushed pink, and he hid his face away from her.

  She laughed at his reaction and poked a finger at his cheek.

  “Stop poking me.”

  She poked him again and continued to do it again.

  “I’ll bite your finger off,” he warned.

  Her eyes brightened and glowed.. �
��Do it, do it.”

  He shook his head, grinning at her.

  Kabir looked at her eyes. He missed it when she used to look at him like this. He wanted that brightness in her eyes to remain there forever. He never wanted it to fade.

  Chapter 34

  Elif was talking to Nadia.

  “I don’t think Kabir actually likes me,” Nadia said..

  Elif shrugged. “Maybe.”

  Aryan heard the conversation and looked up at Elif in surprise. She avoided his gaze in return. She opened her mouth to speak, but Kabir rushed inside the restaurant. He actually didn't come in the morning today like his usual timings.

  He only rushed out three words as he ran to the bar side, “ICE. Aryan, run.”

  Elif widened her eyes in surprise, as she glanced at Aryan in shock.

  Aryan looked afraid, so afraid.

  It was the first time Elif had ever seen him afraid. Aryan left the bar through the back door, and Kabir quickly asked one of his servers who was also trained in bartending to cover the bar. Two Immigration and Custom officers came inside the entrance. Kabir stood near the entrance as they approached him.

  “My name is Officer Gayle, and this is Officer Will. We’re looking for a man named Aryan Singh. We have some questions for him. Does he work here?”

  Elif tried her best to hide her surprise so she looked away instead and didn't make any eye contact with the officers. It was best if the officers assumed she was just a customer at the bar and not friends with Aryan or Kabir. She took deep breaths to calm her breathing, as she pretended to not listen to the conversation.

  “He hasn’t been coming to work for the past three weeks.”

  “Do you have a copy of Aryan Singh’s documents?” one of the officers asked in a harsh tone. Elif flinched at the tone, and she was surprised Kabir held himself strong against them.

  This wasn’t the first time ICE came to ask about Aryan, she realized.

  “Yes, he has a social security and a worker’s permit to work here.”

  “May we see those ID’s?”

  Kabir nodded, and asked them to follow him to the back office. The officers followed Kabir, one of the officers staring at Elif as he walked by.

  Elif looked away from the officer’s gaze before she gave herself away.

  Damn it, they weren’t supposed to come back, Kabir thought.

  “These are his documents, officers,” he said as he found Aryan’s workers' social security and permit copy. One of the officers grabbed the documents from Kabir’s hands and stared at the paperwork.

  “His worker’s permit expired two weeks ago,” Officer Gayle said.

  Oh, shit. I have to think something fast.

  “Maybe, that’s why he hasn’t been to work.”

  Both of the officers stared at Kabir as if they were trying to figure out if he was lying or not. He didn't look away from them, even though the back of his neck, and his hands were sweating.

  I can’t look away, otherwise they’ll know I knew.

  “Is there a reason you’re looking for him? He’s protected under DACA,” Kabir protested.

  “That’s our business, not yours,” Officer Gayle said sharply. “If he does come to work, let us know. This is my number.” He handed him his business card before turning to leave with his partner.

  Kabir turned to go to the bathroom and splashed his face with icy, cold water multiple times. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. His face was soaked. The droplets came together at the corner of his eyes dripping from his chin. He took a bathroom towel and placed it underneath the sink. He watched as the towel seeped with water and was full. He squeezed the water out and rubbed its wetness on his shoulders and neck.

  That was close, he thought. Too close.

  Elif was still sitting outside with Nadia as the officers walked past her, closing the door after them.

  After ten minutes, Kabir came out.

  She noticed, he looked disheveled and tired. She felt terrible as she thought about how the officers must have interrogated him about Aryan’s whereabouts.

  “Why were they here?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure. Aryan workers' permits expired recently.”

  Oh, she thought.

  “Aryan is safe for now. I sent him home. I already texted him to renew his workers permit and lay low until then,” Kabir continued.

  “Oh my god, that was close,” Nadia said in relief.

  “Isn’t he protected under DACA though?” Elif asked Kabir.

  “Yeah, he is, but I don’t know why they're looking for him. Even if his workers permit is expired, he can get that renewed. He still has his social security card,” he replied.

  “I hope everything is okay,” Elif replied.

  Kabir shook his head, sadly. “I care about him.” He took a deep breath and continued, “I don’t know why the government is after him. They look for stupid mistakes to send you back home. When I found him on the streets, I couldn’t walk away without trying to help him. He had so much potential and a drive to do better. He deserved that opportunity. I can’t imagine this restaurant and bar without him. He helped me build it.” He gazed around his surroundings, taking them in.

  Elif put a hand on his arm, and Kabir glanced at her.

  She smiled at him. “You know, you’re pretty amazing, right?”

  “He kinda is,” Nadia chimed in the background, but Elif wasn’t listening to her. She was focused on Kabir. She looked at his brown eyes. They were so warm and kind, they drew people right in.

  He’s a woman’s deepest desire.

  She held his gaze for a few moments that felt like eternity before taking a deep breath and looked away feeling uncomfortable now.

  Chapter 35

  A week later

  Elif was drinking vodka when Aryan came in through the entrance door. Elif was surprised to see him. She hadn’t seen him at work even though she had texted him sometimes.

  “How are you doing?” she asked him.

  Aryan smiled at her. “In the process of renewing my workers permit. I came to see Kabir. ICE has been off my back for now.”

  “Why were they looking for you?”

  “They thought I ran a red light,” Aryan shook his head sadly. “The traffic light cameras caught it. Those same officers came to my house, but I explained it was a misunderstanding. Kabir was actually driving my car that day, and he accidently ran a red light. They traced the car back to me, but I called Kabir, and he explained it to them. He had photos of him driving my car.”

  Elif let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad that’s cleared up.”

  “For now,” Aryan replied.

  She narrowed her eyes at him, and he noticed her confusion. He shrugged. “They always find new ways to try to get me deported.”

  Suddenly, someone came up behind her.

  “Wear red tomorrow,” Kabir’s voice said.

  She puttered her drink as he caught her off guard. “Dammit, you can’t give me a warning?” she asked, wiping the booze from her mouth.

  He grinned sheepishly. He looked over to Aryan and smiled, “You too, red tomorrow.”

  “Why red? What’s going on tomorrow?” Elif asked Kabir, confused.

  “Pretty please?”

  “Valentine's Day is long gone,” she said.

  Kabir smacked his hand against his forehead.

  “I’m not wearing a dress though,” Elif continued saying.

  He pouted. “Fine. I have to go, I have errands. I have to talk to Aryan too.” He motioned for Aryan to follow him, and they both began to walk away.

  She furrowed her eyebrows and grabbed Kabir’s hand stopping him in his tracks.

  He turned his head, and glanced at her hand latching onto his.

  “You just got here.” Her voice felt so small and childlike to her ears, she almost didn’t recognize it.

  Kabir smiled warmly at her and moved toward her. He took her hand in both of his, patting on it. “You’ll see me tomorrow.”
He pulled away again, but she refused to let go of his hand.

  He sighed but still smiled. “Are you going to hold me hostage?”

  “Yes,” she said stubbornly.

  He leaned forward and pushed the tendrils that had fallen behind her ear. She closed her eyes under his touch. He leaned up and kissed her forehead before walking away. Elif opened her eyes, and watched Kabir’s back moving away from her. She looked at the ground sadly, and looked up and saw Aryan still standing there at her left side staring at her, amused.

  “You’re such a creep,” she snapped at him.

  “You’re catching feelings,” he observed. “I never thought I’d see this moment.”

  She looked up at him, her mouth dropping before she closed it.

  “No, you shithead. I just find comfort in him.”

  Aryan shrugged. “Sure, keep telling yourself that, Elif,” he said before turning away and making his way towardKabir.

  She stared at her hands and remained silent.

  Chapter 36

  Kabir found Elif in her usual spot. He smiled at the sight of the back of her slim figure. She was wearing red. It wasn’t a dress, but she was wearing a long red sheer shirt that ended at her thighs with black tights.

  He walked up to her. “I have something to show you.” She slowly turned around and faced him. Her face was bare, but her lips looked glossy. His eyes were drawn to them. Her hair was straight and behind her ears.

  “What is it?” she asked, her eyes widening.

  “Come with me,” Kabir said.

  He extended his hand toward her. Her eyes dropped down to his hand before reaching out and taking it in her own. Elif left her seat and followed Kabir to the lounge. He opened the door, and she peered inside.

  Her eyes widened at the sight.

  There were roses everywhere: pastel, pink, white, and red carefully adorned together. They were plastered above her head. On the floor, there was smoke and light pink balloons everywhere. Then, she noticed the design of the lounge.