The Name of Red

by Beena Khan

  She took it all in.

  Every corner of the couches handles were made out of glass. She glanced up at the crystal, glass chandeliers that hung above her twinkling under the light. The corner of each couch sectional had its own set of colors based on the book genres exactly like she imagined.

  My design, she thought.

  “You brought it to life,” she said, looking at him in amazement.

  Kabir was watching her reaction, and he grinned.

  “I can’t believe you still remembered my designs. So much has happened since I gave those to you.”

  “Surprise,” he said.

  “Is this what you have been working on?” she asked.

  “One of those things,” he replied then he pointed at the wall in front of her. There was a banner in front of her that said, “Happy Birthday.”

  “Oh my God, how did you know?” she asked, shocked.

  “Your license,” Kabir replied quietly.

  She remembered the first night Kabir dropped her home. She wasn't responding to his questions, so he had dug into her bag to retrieve her license. Her eyes widened at the memory.

  “That was such a long time ago. That’s actually creepy.”

  “What? I saw it once and I remembered.” He shrugged, his face reddening.

  Elif laughed at his crestfallen face.

  “You could have told me before you were planning a surprise. I would have worn one of my dresses and some makeup,” she said. She touched her bare face and frowned.

  “You’re lovely either way,” Kabir said cheerfully.

  Elif leaned in and hugged Kabir tightly.

  She whispered in his ear. “Thank you, azizam.”

  “What does that mean?” Kabir asked, his face still pressed against hers.

  “My dearest,” Elif whispered.

  Kabir smiled hearing her words.

  “You’re my azeez too,” Kabir replied. “Azizam sounds kind of similar to jaan.”

  “We use janom too.” She smiled, even though she knew he couldn’t see her face.

  Aryan and Nadia came out wearing the color red, and Kabir and Elif fell apart. They brought out the cake, singing, “Happy birthday!”

  Elif grinned happily. She leaned in and hugged Aryan tightly. His eyes widened, but he smiled as he returned her hug. Then, she hugged Nadia.

  “Thank you guys,” she said shyly. Her cheeks began to hurt from smiling, and she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

  She turned toward Kabir. “How come you’re not wearing red?” she asked him. He was wearing a black button down shirt.

  He tucked his thumbs in his pockets and looked at her, embarrassed. He shrugged. “I wore black to coordinate with your red.”

  She laughed at his cuteness.

  “It’s time to cut the cake!” Nadia said excitedly.

  Aryan grabbed Nadia by the arm and dragged her away. “Let’s leave them,” he said quietly.

  “What, why?! It’s Elif’s birthday,” Nadia said, her face beaming.

  “They probably want privacy,” Aryan whispered to her.

  Nadia looked at Aryan with a confused expression, before glancing back at Kabir and Elif.

  Elif lost her smile, and she saw when Nadia noticed them together. Elif watched as Nadia noticed how Kabir glanced at her with an expression he had never looked at Nadia with. Elif watched as Nadia saw how Kabir had his hands tucked in his pants. He did that when he was nervous, Nadia knew him. She saw them together, Elif and Kabir as more than just friends.

  Elif regretted the words she had pushed onto Nadia.

  She regretted that so much now.

  How come this friendship hasn’t turned into love?

  Elif’s words came to haunt her. Nadia glanced at Elif with a hurt expression, and Elif saw Nadia’s fallen expression.

  Shit.

  Elif began shaking her head, but Nadia’s eyes stared at her, burning with hatred. Nadia ran away from the lounge with Aryan after her.

  “Nadia, she—please bring her back,” Elif said, turning around to Kabir. She didn't want Nadia to have the wrong impression of them.

  He wasn't listening to her, his gaze solely on her. “We have to cut the cake,” he said with a smile.

  “Kabir—” she said in a low voice.

  He cut her off by saying, “Here is a knife for you. Are you going to cut your cake?” he asked in a hopeful expression.

  Her heart warmed at the sight of his face. She realized Nadia always had feelings for Kabir, but she was wrong too because she gave those feelings hope.

  She sighed. “Fine, only if you cut it with me,” she said, giving in. Kabir grinned, and stepped behind her.

  She noticed he was so close to her. Too close.

  Elif picked up the knife, and began to cut the cake. Kabir placed his hand on top of hers.

  “Happy birthday, Elif,” he whispered.

  That’s the first time I said her actual name out loud, he realized.

  Elif glanced at him and grinned.

  Kabir took a spoonful of cake and fed Elif and she did the same. After a few moments, Kabir glanced down at Elif who was poking the cake with a finger, licking at the taste. He began placing a handful of cake on a plate for her, but she stopped him. “Just a little, Kabir, I’m not that hungry,” she said smiling.

  “I have a present for you,” he said shyly, putting the plate down.

  She glanced at him and smiled. “What is it?” she asked

  He pulled out a small box from his pocket. He handed it to her and she opened it. It was a gold Cartier bracelet.

  “This is so cute!” she exclaimed, excitedly before putting it on her wrist. “Thank you.” She leaned up and hugged Kabir tightly, before turning away to eat the cake again.

  Kabir looked at Elif for a few moments, before he moved closer toward her, until her back was touching his shirt. He reached down and gently parted the hair from her neck to her left side. Her neck was exposed under the moonlight and her skin glowed.

  Elif felt a cool air on the side of her neck and turned her head around. She looked up in surprise when she realized Kabir was so close to her. Kabir gazed at her with such heat that she hadn't noticed before. She had noticed the way he looked at her before but never in this way.

  Like he was in control.

  He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on the side of her neck.

  Elif closed her eyes unintentionally. Then, she opened her eyes and glanced back at him. He began placing small kisses on her neck, and he wrapped his arms tightly on her small waist. He was so close to her. He gazed down at her lips and then he leaned down and whispered her name, “Elif.”

  He placed his soft lips gently on hers.

  She was surprised at first, and then her eyes closed. His warm, full lips fitted hers like puzzle pieces. He pulled away after the kiss, as if afraid he overstepped. She opened her eyes and gazed up at him. He was watching her reaction. He was hesitant and shy, but then he leaned in closer and took her lower lip in his.

  She didn’t stop him.

  He was just beginning to kiss her, and it looked like he had no intention to stop. Her lips parted underneath his.

  Whispers in her mind urged her to stop him, but her thoughts felt so faint at the moment. The rest of the world became an unimportant blur to her now that he was near her. The only thing mattered was touching him, kissing him, consuming him.

  His kisses became more urgent, their breaths mingling together, becoming one. Her breathing quickened and so did his. She held out a hand to push him away, but instead placed it on his face caressing his cheek as she edged closer to him until there was no space left between them. She let out a small noise as her body melted toward his. His warm chest pressed against her back. His hands glided over her physique, only playing at her waist, settling there and not going up or down.

  She could feel her heart beating wildly.

  She felt afraid. It shouldn’t beat like that.

  Elif abruptly pulled away f
rom him, creating a distance from them. The kiss was over too soon.

  Kabir looked up in surprise, and she avoided his gaze.

  I scared her, Kabir thought.

  He felt a swirl of emotions around him.

  He couldn’t believe he actually kissed her. He still felt her soft lips under his, her drawing him closer, their breaths becoming one. Her mouth was warm, and her lips were softer than he ever imagined. He wanted to pull her close again. She tasted sweet. Her natural taste was so sweet. He didn’t taste the vodka, perhaps because he caught her before she had a drink.

  “Elif,” he whispered gently.

  She looked at him before looking at the ground, she looked breathless and touched her fingers to her thoroughly kissed lips. Her cheeks were flushed, and the blush on her cheeks deepened as he gazed at her.

  “We should give some cake to Aryan and Nadia,” she said brightly tucking her hair behind her ear. Then she left to call out to his friends.

  Kabir wanted to reach out and follow her, but she put a distance between them that he wasn’t sure if he should cross again.

  Chapter 37

  Elif wore makeup and a dress for the first time in months.

  She wore a sleeveless, blue, azure satin dress that ended at her calves. Kabir thought she looked radiant today, much like her usual self. Although she had lost weight, her dress was still form-fitting but not as tight as before. He wanted to talk about last night but he was hesitant. Elif turned her face toward his, not meeting his eyes as he walked over to her table.

  I’ll wear a dress, when I’m happier. When I want to.

  He remembered her words.

  “You look like yourself. Like the Red who caught everyone’s attention.” Kabir tucked his hands into his pants pockets.

  “I look like myself? You sure know how to compliment a woman,” Elif replied, sarcastically.

  Kabir’s cheeks lightened with color.

  Elif laughed at him and pulled at his cheeks.

  “You’re cute,” she said, as eyes beamed at him.

  It’s almost as if she is tempted to make me sweat.

  Kabir’s eyes rolled skyward. “I'm leaving.”

  “What? Why?” Elif asked, pouting.

  Kabir wanted to take that lip in his teeth.

  Kabir looked down. “You’re always harassing me.”

  “Do you want me to stop?” she asked and took a drink of her wine.

  She’s drinking wine today, he realized.

  She looked happier than before.

  “No,” he replied.

  “It’s not harassment if you like the attention,” Elif commented matter-of-factly.

  Kabir sat down next to her and observed her. “You’re very cheerful today,” he said.

  “Whenever I’m with you, I feel alive,” Elif whispered, wiggling her eyebrows at him, her lips smiling.

  Kabir’s face was stricken. He had never met anyone with her honest spirit before. Whatever that was in her heart, it was also on her tongue.

  “Thank you,” he said quietly.

  She laughed at his reaction.

  “Don’t laugh at me,” he said, his facial expression changing.

  She jabbed a finger at his chest. Suddenly, he grabbed her finger.

  She looked at him, surprised. “Can I have my finger back?” she asked sweetly.

  Kabir shook his head. “No,” he said.

  She tried to pull her finger back, but he refused to let his hold loosen. Soon, he had a hold of her hand.

  “Azizam,” Elif whispered, her eyes widening.

  Kabir tugged her forward to him. Her other hand landed on his chest, as she fell against him. He wrapped his arms around her waist feeling the satin fabric she was wearing. He breathed her scent in deeply. She had a light, clear, ocean scent to her. She peered at him in surprise. Her eyes became hazy as they dropped down to his full lips before looking up in his eyes.

  “Kabir!”

  She broke apart from Kabir as she heard a server calling him. He was still staring at her with such intensity. A server came over to speak with Kabir, and only then he turned away from Elif.

  The moment was broken.

  Chapter 38

  Later that night, Kabir was driving Elif home.

  He glanced at her. She was clearly drunk and in a blissful mood. She had her knees drawn up on the seat with her arms around them.

  Elif turned her face toward the left and stared at him for a few seconds before abruptly saying, “You should just admit you're in love with me. It’s confirmed from the way you looked at me today.”

  Kabir glanced at her sharply, and he drove into oncoming traffic. He quickly served his car into his own lane. His eyes widened as they stared into her eyes. She started laughing and covered her mouth. He didn't have an answer to what she just said, even though it might be true.

  “Home sweet home,.”

  She was singing trying to open her apartment door with her keys. Her keys jangled, and she dropped them twice. She wasn’t able to jiggle the right one into the lock until Kabir decided to open the door for her.

  Elif flung the door open and went to her bedroom with him trailing behind her. Kabir made sure to lock the door behind him so no intruder came inside.

  She fell twice as she wobbled on her feet.

  “It’s so hot in here,” she slurred. She blissfully began to take her dress off. As if she noticed for the first time he was in the room with him, she asked him cheerfully, “Can you turn around?”

  Kabir took a deep breath and turned away. He tried to brush off the thoughts where he imagined her without any clothes.

  She took off her high heels, along with her dress and then all of the sudden, she lost her balance and she fell. Kabir turned around quickly when he heard a crash on the floor and ran to her. In her drunk half-naked state, she had fallen. Her clothes were off, and she was only wearing a dark blue, azure bra with a matching underwear set.

  She matched her outfit.

  His face flamed red, and he looked away quickly from the sight of her ivory bare skin. He couldn’t look at her in this state. He opened her closet and quickly found a long silk robe for her to wear. He took the garment with him and gave her a steady hand and helped her up.

  Instead of taking his hand, she clasped both arms around his neck and looked up at him. His eyes widened at her actions. His anxiety spiked. Gone was his confidence that he felt earlier when he clasped her hand in his at the bar. Instead it was replaced with a strange feeling, he desperately wanted to avoid. He wanted to avoid thinking about how his body was touching the softness of her curves.

  Elif simply stared at him. “You know, you’re very handsome.”

  “And you’re very drunk,” he said, trying to detangle her limbs from his neck. “Do you want to wear your robe?” he asked, avoiding her gaze.

  She poted. “No. You have the warmest, brown eyes, and your jawline is perfect.

  Kabir blushed pink under her scrutinizing gaze.

  Elif laughed at him. “Why do you waste your time with me? Why do you bother to take care of me?”

  She leaned her face more close toward him.

  Kabir met her gaze, and he had to catch his breath.

  Elif’s beauty was even more intense up close. Her dark hair was a mess around her, wisps of it falling on to her face. Her kohl-lined eyes sparkled up at him, her smudged eyeliner made her distinct Persian eyes seem even larger. They were trimmed by lashes so long. Her eyes were like the window to his soul. Standing this close to her, Kabir could see her lips, clearly, glistening. Her sensual rosy mouth was still talking and refusing to be quiet. He could taste her breath and feel it against him. She had too much wine to drink, and she smelled like a perfume factory now.

  His hands began to shake in a way that he couldn’t control. With trembling hands, he tried to gently nudge her away from him, but she refused to budge.

  She continued to say, “Every woman at the bar stares at you. They want you, but you’re eithe
r blind to see it or just lost in me. You have made it your duty to take care of me.” She rolled her eyes. “How are you going to get laid when your life revolves around me? I can take care of myself,” she complained.

  Kabir remained silent.

  “Answer me!”

  She was infuriated and jabbed two fingers at his chest.

  He could feel her sharp nails against his chest.

  “When was the last time you got laid?”

  He remembered it was almost three years ago with his fiancée, but he wasn’t going to admit it.

  “You’re drunk, Elif,” he simply stated.

  “I'm a strong independent woman, thank you very much,” she replied before she fell again.

  Kabir caught her by the waist this time. His hands brushed against the sleek, silkiness of her nude skin. He refused to let his eyes wander over her. It was wrong looking at her. She let go of his arms and stared upward at him. His hands loosened against her waist and dropped by his sides.

  “Do you love me?” Elif whispered.

  He took a sharp intake of air and looked quickly away from her.

  “Do you want me?” she continued asking. She was moving toward him again. He backed away from her as she inched closer toward him, and his back hit the wall.

  Kabir never felt so weak before until now.

  “You know, less guys approach me now. You don’t let any guys talk to me?” she asked, her eyes narrowing down at him. “You want me for yourself instead?”

  Yes, he thought.

  He didn’t stop anyone from approaching her though.

  Her nose was touching him. Her rosy lips were close to touching his. Soon, they were breathing the same air. She tilted her head back and looked at his eyes. She ran her fingers through his silky hair and downward to his jawline. He shivered under her warm touch. He wanted to stop her, but his hands felt paralyzed by his sides.

  “I wanted to kiss you earlier today. Your lips looked soft.” Then, Elif leaned up and took his lower lip in her mouth, biting it. He clenched his fists as his eyes widened at her assault. She let go of his lip, and she leaned up again to press her lips against his while holding his jaw. With her other hand, she began to unbutton his black shirt to his waist and trailed her fingers down his bare chest. Kabir felt overwhelmed, and he didn't know how he still stood up. His legs suddenly seemed unreliable, and he was struggling for balance. With the remaining strength he had, he shoved her away.