The Name of Red

by Beena Khan

  He pushed the door slightly open and to his surprise, it was left open. He entered the house, quietly closing the door behind him.

  Elif was sprawled on the sofa eating popcorn while reading a book. She glanced up at him when his footsteps creaked against the wooden floor. She was bare-faced, and her hair was in a loose ponytail. She wasn’t wearing a dress today. She was wearing black men’s shorts, he assumed her husband’s, and a white, cotton tank top. His eyes went downward, and he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. He could see her nipples through her shirt.

  He felt guilty for coming into her apartment, in her comfort zone when she didn't expect him to come. He felt that he invaded her privacy and regretted his decision to come.

  “Your door was left open. You should lock it,” he warned her softly, keeping his tone light. He didn't want to belittle her.

  “Hello to you too,” she said smiling at him before going back to her reading. She didn’t seem to mind Kabir had come over to her apartment. He began to relax and sat down across from her. He avoided her gaze as he didn't want his eyes to glide over the curves of her body.

  “How are you feeling?” Kabir asked her.

  “My withdrawal symptoms are getting better, still in isolation though.” Elif turned a page on the book she was reading.

  “It’s been weeks since you caged yourself in your home. I said before fresh air would be good for you. Why don't we go out?”

  She looked up at him and shook her head. “I’m not healthy anymore.”

  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re going to get up, get changed, and we’re going to go out,” he commanded.

  “You’re so bossy.” Elif stuck her small tongue out at him.

  Kabir wanted to reach forward and bite her tongue.

  “What book are you reading?” he asked, trying to get rid of his dark thoughts.

  “It’s the English translation of Devdas,” she replied.

  He wanted to laugh at her. Devdas was a Bengali romance novel about a man who turns toward drinking after not marrying his childhood lover. He dies in the end after alcohol poisoning. Kabir was saddened by the last thought, he wanted to avoid thinking about the same fate for Elif.

  “Cute,” he commented in a single word.

  He stood up from his seat and marched over to her. He sat down and snatched the book from her grasp and closed it but not without bookmarking the last page she read.

  “Hey, don't touch my property,” she said annoyed as she tried to snatch her book back from him. She leaned over, too close trying to reach for her unfinished book. She was almost on Kabir’s lap when her nipple brushed against his face.

  Kabir took a huge breath in and stopped moving.

  His face turned hot, and for a moment, he thought his face was on fire. He awkwardly detangled his limbs from her and returned the book immediately to Elif. He averted his head to the side to avoid her gaze and was afraid the rosiness of his cheeks gave him away.

  Elif stared at him trying to catch his eye, but his flaming face was turned in another direction. She began laughing and pinched his cheeks with her slim fingers. He turned beet red under her touch and tried to swat her hand away.

  He’s cute, she thought.

  “Your blushing is cute.”

  His kind blushing on a man had a delicate sweetness from within. He was a pure soul, and he still had a vulnerability about him that most people lacked. He had a shyness that came from deep emotion, something that he was thinking inside his mind, but he wouldn’t admit it to her. It was something real.

  “Are we going out?”

  Elif sighed and asked, “Where are we going?”

  He smiled. “Surprise.”

  Elif rolled her eyes at him, but she moved away from her couch and headed toward her bedroom to change.

  Kabir tried not to watch her round bottom as she moved.

  He heard the shower running, and he gazed around her apartment. Before he hadn’t noticed all the times he was here because his main focus was Elif. When she was present in the room, his attention was undivided. Her apartment was spacious and cozy. She had books all over the place: on the new coffee table, the kitchen, the couch, and the chairs. Her house had more traditional furniture with wooden floors. The walls had white and pastel gray wallpaper.

  She had a single picture of her and a man in the corner, hidden. Kabir gazed at the picture, and wondered if it could possibly be from a date. Elif was staring at the camera smiling as a man stared at her adoringly. Kabir realized that it was Isaah. He couldn't help but study the appearance of her husband. He was a good-looking man with chestnut brown hair and green eyes. He had a small dimple on his right cheek when he smiled.

  Lucky man, he thought. Then he felt guilty because Isaah had died, and he wasn’t lucky anymore.

  A few moments later, Elif merged out of the bathroom in her robe. Kabir quickly put down the picture, placing it back into the hidden area where it originally was. She gave him a small smile before turning toward her bedroom.

  Fifteen minutes later, she emerged out of the room wearing a purple halter dress with golden flats.

  The dresses are back, Kabir thought with a smile.

  The dress was low in the front and had high hems in the back. It had a loose skirt beginning mid-thigh in front and draped to a midi length in back. She was thinner now. Her dress slightly loose on her, but she still looked beautiful. She was wearing minimal makeup, and she managed to cover her under eye circles. There was kohl and mascara on her eyes, her cheeks were pink, and a nude lipstick adorned her lips. She was walking toward him as she placed her lipstick in a crossbody bag. She stopped when she reached him and smiled.

  Her hair was still wet from her shower.

  It reminded him of the first time she came to his bar, drenched from the rain.

  “You look nice,” he said in approval.

  “Nice?” Elif repeated in distaste. “I was expecting much more.” She found her cell phone lying on the sofa, and she shoved it in her bag.

  “You look beautiful?” Kabir offered.

  “You always think that,” Elif replied, shaking her head at him moving past him toward the door.

  Kabir stopped her by holding onto her arm with a confidence Elif was surprised he possessed. He whispered in her ear, “You’re beautiful to me because when you look at me you have that lost spark you once had in the past. It has returned to your eyes. Your intelligence and serenity is beautiful, your extraness is beautiful. I find comfort in your company, your company is beautiful. The word beautiful is not even close to describing who you are.” Elif blushed under his words and looked up at him through her lashes. She leaned up and kissed him softly on his cheek trying to avoid marking him with her lipstick.

  “What was that for?” Kabir asked blushing now, gone was his confidence, and it was replaced with his boyish smile.

  “Azizam, khoob baladi harf bezani,” Elif said.

  Kabir raised his eyebrows, he asked, “What does that mean?”

  Elif smiled. “My dearest, you have a way with words.”

  Kabir blushed under her gaze.

  “Let’s go. I still don't know where we are going.”

  Kabir took her arm. “We will decide in the car.”

  Chapter 47

  Kabir and Elif had been traveling for more than half an hour, and she was wondering when they would reach their destination. He still hadn’t mentioned the location.

  She glanced at Kabir, her legs crossed on the seat. She liked the smell of his jeep. She hadn't noticed it before.

  “Where are we going?”

  Kabir shortly glanced at her, his gaze dropping to her nude legs before focusing on the road. “You will see.”

  “Is it really a surprise?” she asked grinning.

  He rolled his eyes. “If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise then. You have no patience.”

  “Obviously not, I will be dead in a few months.”

  Kabir looked at her shocked before
she laughed at him.

  “You don't get to play the cancer card on me,” Kabir said hurt. She gave him an apologetic look. An hour passed by, which soon turned into three hours. It was almost eight at night now.

  “Are you planning on kidnapping me?” she asked him.

  “Yes,” he simply said.

  This time, she rolled her eyes at him.

  They passed a sign to Pennsylvania.

  “Are you serious, Pennsylvania? What are we doing here?” Elif asked her voice rising above her normal tone.

  Kabir’s sparkling eyes met hers. “We’re almost there.” He stopped the car in the parking lot. It was pitch black, and people were parking their cars around them. “Here we are,”

  Elif glanced around her surroundings.

  There were mountains around them. She was unable to tell the colors in the darkness. She stared at the waterfall around her and lost her breath at the sight. The white water cascaded down the rocky mountain, tumbling down. The water glowed under the starry night. The noise steadily increased as she made her way toward it.

  She turned to Kabir and grinned.

  “Where are we?”

  He smiled. “In a magical place.”

  “Is this supposed to be a fairy tale?”

  “Maybe,” he replied.

  “Okay. Which characters are we?”

  “I like Beauty and the Beast. You’re like Belle. You love reading.”

  “You're not a hideous beast, and you didn’t abduct me though,” she said.

  He grinned. “I kinda did though.”

  She rolled her eyes at him. “Should we create our own fairy tale?”

  “Fairytales have a happy ending.”

  Elif stopped in her tracks as she stared at his face. His smile was the saddest smile she’d ever seen on a human before. After a few moments, he kept walking.

  She was left speechless, her smile gone.

  Time was ticking, and they didn’t have much left.

  Their destination arrived.

  Elif was in awe at the sight. It was the sky lantern festival of Pennsylvania. Hundreds of lanterns floated in the night sky. The golden, brightness of the lanterns illuminated like stars in the inky, black sky shone down on them.

  Poconos, she realized.

  She’d always dreamt of this, and it was on her bucket list. It was an unearthly experience. She had never had the chance to go with Isaah. After his death, her wish faded away.

  Just after dusk, Kabir passed a lantern to Elif to light.

  “You know, this festival represents releasing one’s deepest fears and desires. It’s letting go of everything that bothers you,” Kabir said.

  Elif glanced at him and smiled. “Did you bring me here for that reason?”

  Kabir grinned. “They’re the dreams of those who light them.”

  Together they watched it rise off of the ground, and they fell in line with the people around them and their lanterns.

  Kabir felt a warm hand on his.

  He glanced down. Unknowingly, Elif had grabbed his hand in excitement. She leaned her head against his shoulder as she gazed at the sky above her. Kabir liked the warmness of her against his.

  It comforted him that she clung to him.

  She looks so happy.

  All the beauty of the universe couldn’t compete with her. Her eyes widened, and there was a fire in them that ignited his soul. Her eyes could swallow the galaxies around them.

  She was simply haunting.

  Elif turned to face Kabir, the only man who had stayed with her, and she truly felt genuine happiness after a very long time.

  “Hey, what should we call our fairytale?” she asked.

  “One Thousand and One Nights with Elif?” he suggested.

  Elif grinned. “We only had maybe three-hundred.”

  “Nights with Elif?” he offered.

  “I like that name, but it sounds like a porno.”

  Kabir laughed.

  “Where is your name in the title?” Elif asked.

  “You’re the stronger character, I’m a love-sick puppy in it.”

  She laughed at him. “But it’s your story.”

  “I have a story because of you,” he said softly.

  She glanced at Kabir who was looking at the lanterns. Her face began to grow warm. It hurt to smile too much.

  Nights with Elif, she repeated in her mind.

  She liked it.

  “Narrate the story to me,” Elif demanded.

  Kabir glanced shortly down at her who was peering up at him. “Once upon a time, an ordinary man watched as the most beautiful princess in a red dress came into his magical kingdom on a winter, rainy night looking for shelter. She looked like a magical fairy, he was almost scared the patrons around him will gobble her up—”

  Elif laughed abruptly, cutting him off.

  Kabir smiled, shortly. “Let me finish.”

  She waited for him to continue.

  “Thousands of men talked to her daily but she didn't care. Was she arrogant? He didn't know. He wanted to get to know her, and he noticed she was always reading books. He was quite smart and he began leaving her books.”

  She jabbed him in the stomach with her elbow when he said the word “smart.”

  Kabir tightened his arms around her. “Stop moving. Anyway, she came in one day and a book laid there. At first, she was confused and scared, who dared to leave her a book? Slowly, but surely she became fond of the small notes that came with the books and responded. She formed a plan to hunt the man down, and she was finally able to track him. He was smart, but she was smarter. One day, she cornered him and he panicked. He didn't know how to defend himself so he distracted her with his magical library—”

  “Oh my god, that was a distraction?!” she exclaimed.

  Kabir grinned, as he continued, “She was amazed by the sight, and it left breathless. Then, he told her he owned this magical kingdom where she visited every day. She was shocked, and they became friends. They formed a bond that could not be broken. But this magical princess had secrets, secrets that could threaten their newfound relationship. She had a secret power, she was immortal, and she couldn’t die. She wasn't willing to share as she was afraid, afraid to let someone in her heart—”

  “I love this fairytale,” Elif interrupted in a small voice.

  Kabir took a deep breath and continued. “One day, a big dragon appeared to steal her away in his magical carriage. She became unconscious after taking too many potions. The ordinary man ran to rescue her, but this magical princess didn't need any physical help. She woke up, and the potion fell like water out of her mouth and onto the dragon, burning him and he flew away forever.”

  “I remember Faizan. That’s actually hilarious.”

  “You had enough?” he asked.

  “I could listen all night long,” she replied.

  And so, Kabir continued the fairytale story for hours, without stopping. Elif couldn’t keep her eyes off of his face. They had come so far.

  From strangers, to best friends, and now companions.

  He is like a candle, a small, bright flame illuminating the darkness.

  Chapter 48

  It was mid-September now, yet it felt so hot.

  New York weather was unpredictable.

  The subtropical brought heat waves as the sun gazed down at Elif and Kabir as they walked at arm lengths. The silence caressed Elif’s skin like the summer breeze, smoothing her soul, and taking away the jagged edges.

  The heat rained down on them and scorched their skins. The sunshine was in their bones today, the summer winds were in their hair. They frequently visited the beach. The heat poured into her veins like a needle that she wanted to take out. Elif was wearing a loose pastel, pink skirt, and a light gray tank top. In the hazy afternoon, her top clung to her skin, as the sweat on her neck trickled down her back. She felt a sting in her eyes. She reached up and felt her mascara watering. She sighed, and she wanted to dunk her body in the water.


  She glanced at Kabir with the corner of her eyes. He was wearing blue jeans shorts and a white shirt. Once again, he had his hands tucked inside the shorts pockets. His aura seemed brighter in the summer.

  She smiled looking at him. Shyness and innocence weren’t traits that many men carried, she thought.

  “How is the restaurant doing? You spend most of your time with me. When are you at your business?” she asked him.

  “I go in the mornings once a week now, Aryan takes care of it when I’m not there,” Kabir replied.

  “You lost a DJ. Have you spoken to Nadia?”

  Kabir stopped in mid-tracks and turned toward her.

  His throat was lodged with words that he wanted to speak, but he was unable to talk. Her question caused him to think about Nadia.

  He missed Nadia, his best friend, and he often thought about her daily. She hadn’t been in touch with him, and avoided answering his phone calls. He had visited her house, but she didn't come to meet him.

  “No,” he answered softly.

  “She cares about you, the same way you care about me.”

  Kabir turned at Elif’s words. “She’s not you.”

  She heard him but barely. His words were a mere whisper.

  They remained silent and kept walking, picking up their pace.

  ❖

  Kabir was gazing at Elif who looked like a snapshot out of time. He could see her long, black hair as it fell in front of her. Her face was turned toward the sun. To him, she was the world itself. He wanted to keep her happy but happiness didn’t last forever.

  Suddenly, she asked him, “Why do you like me?” She didn’t look at Kabir, she was still staring onwards at the water. “Give me twenty reasons why.”

  “Are you looking for twenty reasons to live?” he asked softly.

  She glanced at him and shared a secret smile with him.

  “Maybe.”

  “You’re the most beautiful woman I've ever seen,” Kabir said.

  Elif smiled. “Of course you would start off with that.”

  “Yeah because it’s one of the first reasons people are drawn to another being, but it’s a small reason.”