I breathed out a long, heavy sigh. “She’s not easy.”
“You don’t want easy. Nobody really wants easy. Easy’s boring and predictable and you get tired of it.”
“I guess. But this is a whole other level of not easy.”
“She’s a celebrity.”
“Yeah, and she’s not willing to give that up for me. She doesn’t wanna be a normal person. And that tells me she doesn’t want me. I wasn’t important enough to her for her to do what she already told me she wants to do.”
“And I bet it’s because she didn’t think it was worth it. Not if she didn’t know if you cared about her.”
“Which is why I didn’t tell her. I didn’t think she cared enough.”
“It’s like being back in high school.”
“That’s almost how I feel right now.”
“Why not just cut to the chase and get it over with? We’re adults. We talk these things out.”
“I don’t even know if it’s for the best, you know? I mean, what if she never wants to give up that life?”
“Why should she? She’s one of the most famous actresses in the world.”
“I know how unhappy she is. She told me so.”
“You can’t tell a woman what to do. Maybe that’s the problem. You tried to tell her what she should do. So she did the opposite.”
“I should’ve told her to go?”
“You should’ve told her how you felt and left it up to her. She’s a grown-up. She can make her own decisions, but she deserves to know the whole story.”
I let his words sink in. Was he right? Damn it. Did I drop the ball?
“I wish I knew that it would work out if I go out on a limb with her.”
He snorted. “There’s no way to know it’ll work out. Not ever. But the point is working at it so it does work out. I know how that goes, too. I mean, I didn’t do the work. I never did the work. I expected her to be there for me whenever I needed her. I expected her to understand without explaining. I never asked her how it made her feel when I wasn’t there. And that wasn’t fair. None of it was. So you’ve gotta communicate.” He snorted again. “You haven’t started out very well with communication.”
“You don’t have to rub it in.”
***
Her house was pretty much what I had expected. If she lived in a massive suite for a film shoot, I guessed, the house she called home was probably pretty damned big. The mansion I was standing in front of looked like something from a movie. I still couldn’t imagine real people living like that, much less how they could be unhappy when they lived the way she did. It went to show how the outside stuff didn’t matter. It didn’t matter one bit.
Funny how a man could do three tours in the pits of hell, then puss out when it came time to walk up a girl’s driveway and knock on her door. What was the worst that could happen? I was a grown man. I could handle whatever came my way. So I knocked at the damn door.
A cute little redhead answered. I looked her up and down with more than a little amusement, but I managed to bite back a smile. She wasn’t going for the mousy, quiet type anymore—if the redhead was her assistant, she didn’t want one who would ever be jealous. I couldn’t imagine Tits McGee in front of me ever being jealous of another woman, for any reason.
“Hey,” she said with a big, sunny smile. “What can I do for you today? Do you have a package or something?” Wow. I had seen porno scenes that started a lot like that.
I held out my empty hands. “No package for you. Sorry. I’m here to see Miss Banks.”
Her eyes narrowed. She was wearing a low-cut, tight tank top and a short denim skirt. Great legs, tiny waist, big rack. A real knockout. “I’m sorry, but I can’t just let you come in and see her.”
“Tell her it’s Spencer.”
Her eyes widened. A light sparked in them. “Oh. You’re Spencer.” That knowing tone of voice.
“You’ve heard of me.”
“Oh, yes. You’re famous.”
“Not as famous as the woman you work for, I bet.”
“Pretty close.” She winked. Oh, she was a sexy thing.
“So, can I see her?”
“Sure. Come on in.” She held the door open wider. “I’m Savannah, by the way. I was part of the staff before Charlotte moved me up to her assistant.”
“How’s that working for you?” I looked around the marble foyer with its grand staircase and crystal chandelier. She led me down a long hallway with cream-colored walls and out through the back door. The entire back wall on the first floor was made of floor-to-ceiling windows, which let in plenty of sun and allowed for a great view of the backyard—and the girl in the sapphire-blue swimming pool.
“I think I’ll leave the two of you alone. In fact,” she murmured with a knowing smile, “I think I have a few errands that’ll take me out of the house for at least an hour.”
“An hour?”
“Two hours?”
I glanced out the door at Charlotte, swimming laps in a white bikini. “Make it two,” I said.
“Got it.” She winked and walked away, her red ponytail swinging back and forth in time with her ass. I couldn’t help looking—but she was nothing compared to Charlotte. I only cared about her. And that meant something, right there.
I opened the door and stepped out onto the emerald lawn. I bet it would feel like a carpet under my bare feet, though I didn’t want to be that guy who took off his shoes to find out. It would look pretty stupid if she threw me out and I ended up walking away barefoot. Still, Savannah thought I would need two whole hours alone with her boss. It didn’t take two hours to throw somebody out, did it? That gave me a little hope.
I walked out to the pool, down a flight of stairs that led to the patio. Charlotte was finishing a lap when I reached the edge. I stood there, watching as she cut through the water like a fish. She looked up when she reached the wall and instead of turning around, stopped suddenly.
“You,” she breathed. She pulled off the goggles she wore and tossed them onto the patio. Then she climbed out of the water and my heart just about stopped. There was nothing sexier than a wet woman, as far as I was concerned. Her suit was practically see-through, and the water dripped from her onto the concrete. Her hair was plastered against her head. There was a flush to her cheeks, and she was still breathing just a little heavy from her workout. Her chest heaved up and down. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. She looked like a fantasy come to life.
She hadn’t said anything else. “I don’t know yet if you’re happy to see me.”
“I don’t know yet if I am, either,” she said.
“Honest, at least.”
“What are you doing here?” Her eyes searched my face. “Why did you come?”
“I came because I forgot something.”
“Something I have?”
“Sort of.”
“What did I take?”
I grinned. It was too perfect. Like something out of one of her movies. Should I say it? Was it too cheesy? Would I hate myself forever for it? I couldn’t help myself. “My heart.”
Her lips took their time curving into a smile. “Wow. You should write movies.”
“I was thinking something like that.”
“You mean it?”
“Of course, I do. I didn’t fly across the country just to lie to you.” I reached for her, took her arms in my hands and slid my hands down until they were holding hers. “I should’ve told you before you left. It was stupid of me not to. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were thinking I was being a stubborn brat by coming back here. And you were right.”
“You were being stubborn?”
Her hands tightened around mine. “Yes. I don’t want you to think I was playing games or anything like that, but when you didn’t even try to stay with me that last night…”
“I should have.”
“You’re right. You should have.” She smiled softly. “But I should have told you I wanted y
ou to. I should have told you I wanted you to stop me from coming back here. Or at least, I should’ve told you I didn’t want to. I was scared. I figured you wouldn’t care. Besides…” She looked away and dropped my hands. I watched as she sat on one of the lounge chairs lining the patio.
“Go on.” I followed her, then sat facing her. We were close enough to touch, but I decided to give her just a little bit of space.
She was looking down at the ground when she spoke again. “I can’t stop thinking about what Andrea Christian said that day in my trailer. Do you remember?”
I thought back, but drew a blank. “Not really.”
“She said I do this all the time. I use people and toss them out and don’t think about what happens to their life when I’m finished with them. She was right about that, you know. That’s exactly what I’ve done for a long time—maybe because somebody did it to me, a long time ago. I didn’t want to be hurt again. And I was selfish. I let this life go to my head.” She looked around, waving her hands. It was paradise. Somebody, probably a team of somebodies, had to work very hard to keep it looking the way it did. Total perfection—lush, green, gorgeous, with palm trees and colorful flowers everywhere. I even spotted a few orange and lemon trees. “I bought into the whole ‘star’ thing. The world revolved around me. I never thought about how much I was hurting other people when I acted the way I did. I always had a reason. I was lonely, or I was bored, or I wanted to have a little fun. Whatever it took, that was what I told myself to make myself feel better.”
“You thought you were doing that to me?”
“I wanted to stop myself before you could ever accuse me of that.”
“I never would.”
“Still. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. You deserve so much better.”
“You didn’t want to hurt me, but you ended up hurting me by leaving the way you did.” I couldn’t help smiling.
“Idiot!” She smacked my arm. “I wouldn’t have left if you told me you didn’t want me to leave!”
“And I didn’t want to tell you I wanted you to stay, because I was sure you would tell me to go screw myself!”
She shook her head with a smirk. “I was hurting myself,” she murmured. “I didn’t want to go. I do love it here, but this is what I love. The house. The weather.” She laughed. “I mean, no offense, but East coast winters aren’t my cup of tea.”
“They aren’t most people’s cup of tea. But there are good things about living out there, too.”
“Such as?”
“Me. I hope you think that’s a good thing.”
She smiled. “It’s a good thing.”
“Worth moving across the country for?”
She shrugged with a smirk, but I could tell she was trying not to smile. “You know what’s really worth moving across the country for?”
“What?”
“A role in a play.” She broke into peals of laughter when she saw my jaw drop.
It took a second for everything to come together. “You’re going to be in a play?”
“On Broadway. We start rehearsals when the press junket for the movie is over. I’m putting this place up for sale at the end of the week and buying the apartment I was staying in during the movie shoot.”
My head spun. “You’re coming back?”
“Yes. I am. I wanna be where you are. I love you.” She said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. Like it wasn’t the sound of all my dreams coming true at once. I sank to my knees in front of her and took her face in my hands. The look in her eyes before I pulled her into a long, deep, searching kiss was more than I could have hoped for.
“So this is it?” I asked when we broke the kiss—a little breathlessly. “You and me?”
“If that’s what you want,” she whispered with a shy smile. “You’re saving me the effort of trying to win you back.”
“I’ll show you want I want. And don’t think I won’t make you put a little effort into it.” I stood up and threw her over my shoulder, and she squealed with laughter the entire way up to the house—where we made good use of the two hours Savannah had promised.
Epilogue – Charlotte
“You know what I don’t want?” I asked as I touched up my lipstick in the back of the limousine.
“Food?”
“Oh, God, don’t mention food. I want that more than anything in the world right now.”
“More than an Academy Award?” Spencer asked with a knowing smile.
I cut my eyes at him and scowled, then turned my attention to my reflection. “You know I’m starving. And I’m gonna throw down the second the show’s over.”
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll ruin your gown?” he teased.
“I’m glad you think it’s funny that I’ve been on a strict diet for weeks just to look good tonight. I’m really glad.”
“Oh, come on. I’m only teasing.”
“And I’m hangry.”
“You think you’ll win? I mean, really. Do you think you will?”
“That’s the buzz,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t want to think about it. I’d already swept the awards ceremonies up to that point, but upsets had been known to happen.
“You don’t want to admit you’ll win tonight,” he murmured, finally getting serious.
“I don’t want to jinx myself.” I slid the compact and lipstick into my clutch with a sigh. “And I don’t want them to give me an award just because of what happened to me during the shoot.”
He took my hand, careful not to mess up my nails. He knew well enough by then, having survived several awards shows with me. “They’re awarding your performance, not what happened around it. The critics don’t mention the attacks when they talk about how incredible you were.”
“But it informs their reviews. I’m sure of it. And don’t think I don’t know the studio kept buzz going about what I went through, just to remind everybody of the strain I was under.”
“Still, other academy members wouldn’t award you if they weren’t impressed with you. Just relax, okay? Everybody wants you to bring it home tonight.” He kissed the back of my hand, letting his lips linger against my skin. “Including me.”
“You just want a sugar mama,” I smirked, but I ran the back of my hand over his cheek as I said it. I would be lost without him. How had I ever lived before, without him beside me? I didn’t know I was missing him all those years until he was part of my life, showing me what really mattered. Like quiet nights together. Lazy Sunday mornings in bed. Making friends, real friends, not just coworkers. Having an actual life.
“Just imagine what a win would do for the play, too.”
“We’re doing well enough without a win.” We’d opened six months earlier and had gotten nothing but rave reviews. It was a good script, a great cast. It was rare for a non-musical production to have a long run, but the producers and theater owners wanted us to stick around. So we did.
“Don’t be afraid to admit you want it.”
“Okay. I want it. Who doesn’t want it? Who hasn’t imagined it?”
“Hell, even I have.”
I laughed. “Oh, that’s why my shampoo bottle keeps moving in the shower.”
“It’s just the right size for me to practice my acceptance speech. I’ll be more careful next time.”
He kept me laughing until we pulled up to the red carpet. I could hear the roar of the crowd in the stands around the theater. There was a row of photographers just beyond the limo, waiting to catch me the second I stepped out of the car.
“You ready?” he asked, taking my hand again.
“I think so.” I looked him up and down. “By the way, you’re stunning.”
“I wondered if you were ever gonna notice,” he winked. The man could wear a tuxedo. He could wear anything. And he hadn’t gone unnoticed by the press, either—he even had more than a few female fans who loved seeing him in photos with me.
He opened the door and immediately, the roaring got louder. So people already r
ecognized him and knew the sight of him meant I was on my way out of the car. Either that or they were just that happy to see him. I couldn’t help smiling at the thought of him becoming a heartthrob as he helped me out, the short train of my satin gown trailing behind me.
“This is it,” he whispered. I could just barely hear him over the screaming fans, the shouting photographers, and the beating of my heart.
***
The first thing I did on getting back to our hotel room was put down my award. It was just as heavy as everybody had always said, and I hadn’t let go of it all night. A dream night.
I collapsed onto the bed without even unzipping my dress, then kicked off my shoes. It was already getting light outside. We’d visited three after parties, a blur of photos and air kisses and hugs and accepting congratulations. And dancing. And drinking. And a lot of eating. I was about ready to burst the seams on my gown but I’d earned an Academy Award, damn it, and I would eat if I wanted to.
Spencer slid out of his tuxedo jacket. He looked tired but happy, the same way I felt. “I told you so,” he said, glancing over at the statuette.
“I know you did.”
“And I’m always right.”
“Most of the time, you’re right.” I grinned. “Most of the time.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, beside me, and took my hand. “You know, I had a consolation prize all worked out, too. You know, in case you didn’t win.”
“I thought you were so sure.”
“Still, it’s always good to be prepared.”
I sat up. “What was the consolation prize?”
He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small box. My eyes widened as I looked at it, and all of a sudden I was very wide awake. “What is that?” I whispered.
“Just a little something.” He handed it to me. I opened it with shaking hands, holding my breath as I did. I told myself not to get my hopes up, even though I wanted more than anything to see a ring.
And that’s what it was. Tears filled my eyes as I looked down at it, and when I managed to look away—the large center diamond just about hypnotized me—I noticed he’d gotten on one knee.
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