Everything tilted and swirled. Bella sobbed. She had begged silently when he held her over the edge of the building. No, no, no, Daddy. I’ll be good. Please don’t drop me.
Sabrina’s voice near her ear was low and menacing. “You wrecked everything for me.” She pushed her against the cold metal of the fence. “All I wanted was to drive that night. I never got one thing I wanted because of you. I should be the star instead of a freak. And now you’re going to give the crowd what they want. You’re going to jump, Tiffany.”
It was raining that day too. She screamed as he dangled her over the crowd, “Mommy, mommy, mommy. Come save me,” and the rain had been in her mouth and the smell of her daddy’s musty and smoke-infested clothes in her nose. Would she go to heaven to be with Jesus like her grandmother had? Would Grammie be there to greet her?
“Tiffany, climb up the fence, slide your legs over and I’ll just give you a little push. It’ll be over so quickly.”
Bella heard shouting. Was it Drake? Had he come to rescue her? She slid her eyes to the noise. It was Peter and Fred. Below there was the sound of more sirens.
Sirens. The good guys were coming. They would rescue her so she wouldn’t have to go to heaven. She could stay with Mommy and Drake.
Peter’s voice reached her, loud but still coaxing. “Sabrina, let her go. We can talk things through. Work a deal.”
The gun was at her temple now. “Climb up the fence, Tiffany. That’s a good girl.” She said it like she was encouraging a child down a slide. Bella grasped the top rung of the fence with both hands and put one foot onto the bottom rung. Could she push backward and knock her captor to the ground?
Drake had grabbed them both from behind and pulled them both to safety. Drake, her big brother. He always knew what to do. He always came for her.
Kick the gun out of her hand.
Whose voice was this? It was a woman. Hushed but firm. Mommy.
Do it suddenly. Act like you’re going over but suddenly change direction and swing your leg out and knock the gun from her hand.
“Jump, Tiffany. You can do it.” Sabrina’s breath smelled of alcohol and was sickly sweet from the orange juice.
Honey, you’re so strong now. Not like when you were little. You don’t have to be afraid any longer.
“Sabrina, put down the gun. We can talk this over.” Peter again. He sounded closer now.
Then, she thought, Ben. His laughing eyes. The way he always talked about her like she could do anything she wanted. How he turned every negative comment around on her to point out how wonderful she was. And this was love, she thought, how the other person made you feel about yourself.
And Gennie. The sweetness of their friendship was an ache in her chest.
And Annie and Alder. And the baby coming. The family she and Drake both so desperately needed and wanted after Chloe and Esther left them.
And Drake. Her brother who had and would do anything for her.
Draw on that, Bella. You have so much to live for.
And her dreams. They were all within her grasp. If only she had the chance to pursue them. If she escaped this, she would stare fear down.
She had both feet on the bottom rung now. Gripping the top railing with both hands, and using the strength of her core, all those planks and sit-ups over the years, like steel bands around her middle. She took in a deep breath and muttered, “Not today, bitch.” She swung her left leg high and aimed toward the gun in Sabrina’s hands. It went off as it flew through the air, landing several feet from them. The force of the kick caused Bella to fall forward, landing on all fours. By that time Peter and Fred were upon them. Peter tackled Sabrina to the ground while Fred held the gun on her. Behind them, another group of armed police officers were coming up the stairs. Peter handed a subdued Sabrina over to them and came to help Bella to her feet.
“Peter, I got her to confess and it’s all on tape.” She pulled out her cell phone, shouting, the adrenaline continuing to rush through her body. “Do you see this? On record the whole time.”
He took the phone, shaking his head as if in disbelief. “Holy crap, Bella, you ought to think about going into police work.”
“I’ve had just about enough of this line of work, thank you very much. Plus, I have a business to start.” If she could face down a psychopath on the roof of a building, surely she could start the business she’d dreamed of all her life.
“And a wedding to plan.”
She groaned and rolled her eyes. “Oh, God. The wedding. Is it too late to jump?”
Peter laughed. “There’s something wrong with you. You know that, right?”
She grinned. “Totally.” Letting out a yelp, she lunged towards him and hugged him quickly before stepping back and sweeping her arms in a wide circle to indicate the world around them. “Holy shit, it’s great to be alive.”
“It most certainly is.”
***
Ben was waiting for her in the lodge’s lobby when she and Peter came out of the elevator. He held open his arms and she ran toward him, not caring that she probably looked like the last scene of a bad television movie. He pulled her up into his arms and held her tightly against his chest. “I didn’t know if you were going to make it,” he whispered in her ear.
“Come on, now. I’m small but scrappy. You know that.” She looked into his eyes. “Is it time for wine yet?”
“I’d say you earned the good stuff tonight.”
In the car, they drove in silence, Bella holding Ben’s hand, running her fingers through the soft hair on his forearm. Rain made a steady pitter patter on the roof and the windshield wipers swayed in a steady rhythm. The car’s heater was warm on her feet.
“Bella, are you sure you don’t want a wedding?”
She turned to look at him. “Why are you asking me?”
“Well, I just don’t want it to be my agenda. I was the one left at the proverbial altar, not you. You sure you don’t want a wedding?”
“I can think of nothing worse. All those people looking at us. And us dressed up in monkey suits.”
“I think it’s just the guy who wears a monkey suit.”
“Well, a dress then. Do you know how long it takes to find a dress? It’s like a month-long process and you have to go to all these pretentious shops and try on a zillion of them before you find one decent one and then there are fittings and tuckings and other super boring stuff.”
“Tuckings?”
She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, grinning. “Whatever. You know what I mean.”
“But every girl wants to wear a wedding dress. Don’t they?” He took his eyes from the road for an instant and she saw he was earnest in his question. Her heart fluttered and expanded. She turned to look out the window. They were driving across the valley now. It was dark with a few yellow lights of houses in the distant fields. “Ben, the truth is I don’t want a wedding because my mother isn’t here. It hurts too much. Especially the finding the dress part.”
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the knuckle of her index finger softly. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry.”
“The sad thing is I know Gennie wants to take me shopping for the dress and plan a shower and every detail of the wedding, like my mother would have. And I just want to marry you. Just us. Without anything I can attach pain to. Do you understand?”
“Five-hundred percent.” He squeezed her hand. “But you need to tell Gennie tonight, not later. She’s going to be crushed but it will be much worse if we elope without her knowing. Annie says she’s headed to the house now.”
“You’re right. Of course. I’ll do it tonight.” She turned to look at his profile. How had this man who understood something as subtle as this particular dynamic between women appeared so suddenly in her life? It should not be questioned, she thought, just welcomed with gratitude. “I love you, Benjamin Fleck. This is all I can think to say.”
He grinned at her, before bringing her hand to his mouth once again and keeping it against his li
ps as he answered. “I love you, too. And this is all we need to say.”
***
That night, after Bella was fussed over by Annie, called “badass” by Alder, and given a large glass of one of his finest bottles of Washington wine by Drake, she took Gennie’s hand and led her into the sitting room. They sat on the hearth of the stone fireplace, holding glasses of red wine in one hand and clasping one another’s hands in the other. Indicating the glass, Bella raised her eyebrows. “So I have to almost get killed for you to risk staining your teeth?”
Gennie smiled but unshed tears made her eyes glassy. “Oh, Bella, I’m so grateful you’re all right. If anything happened to you, well, I don’t know if I could get through it. You’re family to me.”
“I know. Me too.” She leaned her head on Gennie’s shoulder. “Listen, about the wedding.”
“Yeah?” Gennie’s voice sounded wary, as if she knew what was coming.
“Ben and I want to go to Vegas. Just the two of us.”
Gennie sat up straighter, dropping Bella’s hand and scooting away several inches to look at her face. “But why? I don’t understand why.”
Bella took a deep breath. “Because my mother’s dead.”
Gennie’s eyes filled; several tears escaped from the corners of her eyes and ran untethered down her perfect cheeks. “Oh, Bella. Yes, I understand.”
“You do?”
“I do.” And that was it.
They hugged, in soundless agreement that sometimes nothing more needed to be said between two people who loved one another, who understood one another. Because despite their flaws and demons and expectations that wanted to pull their love asunder, they understood this was not the way of true friendship. No, it grew between the silences, through all the words unsaid, all the ways love could not be expressed except in silent acceptance of the other.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING Bella and Ben sat at the counter of Amanda’s newly opened diner. Fred, sitting two seats from them, nibbled on a BLT on wheat and sipped coffee as he told them of his recent transfer over to the Echo Grove police force. “Darnedest thing. From what I can piece together, Peter Ball made some phone calls and next thing I know I’m being called in for an interview.”
The diner was cozy, only a dozen tables plus the counter and decorated in shades of blue. The menu was simple: traditional breakfasts served all day and soups and sandwiches starting at eleven. The clientele had been steadily growing, helped enormously by the movie crew, still filming for another two weeks after a short break for the Thanksgiving holiday.
Amanda set a plate of blueberry pancakes in front of Bella and a Denver omelet in front of Ben. “I liked it better when Fred worked out here,” she said. “Nothing ever happens in River Valley. Well, I guess that’s not true but, you know, for the most part we don’t have anything too dangerous, and now I’ll be worried about you all the time.”
Fred pushed aside his plate, having eaten everything but the crusts. “Honey, it’s nothing to worry about. I’m still a small town cop. Not much happens in Echo Grove either.”
Bella pointed her fork at Fred. “I, for one, am thrilled to know they’ll get an honest cop in Echo Grove considering what Ben went through.”
“Amen to that,” said Ben.
“You guys really eloped?” asked Amanda.
“Yep,” said Bella, sliding her eyes over to her new husband. Would she ever stop feeling so utterly smitten with this man?
Fred wriggled his finger at them as if they were in trouble. “And you two don’t look one bit guilty for denying your friends and family the pleasure of a wedding.”
“That’s because we aren’t,” said Ben before taking a large bite of omelet. “This is really good, Amanda.”
Amanda lowered her voice to just above a whisper. “Don’t tell anyone but I hired my cousin to cook for us. He used to cook in prison.”
“Really?” asked Bella, intrigued. “What was he in for?”
“Insider trading.” Amanda said this like it was a dreaded disease. “He took the fall for his boss.”
“That’s terrible,” said Ben, shuddering. “How long was his sentence?”
“Five years. But he learned how to cook really well in there and now he’s here for a second chance,” said Amanda, still talking just above a whisper.
“River Valley’s the place for that,” said Bella.
“Something about the healing powers of the river, according to Annie,” said Ben.
“The river will teach you your name, Amanda. Tell your cousin the minute it warms up in the late spring to jump in head first,” said Bella.
Amanda put her hands on the counter. What was this? A ring? “Wait a minute, did you guys get engaged?” asked Bella.
Fred grinned; Amanda blushed. “Fred asked me last night under the stars. We haven’t told anyone yet.”
“I guess this marriage thing is contagious,” said Ben, slapping Fred on the back. “Congratulations.”
“Maybe the river makes people fall in love too.” Bella laughed and stole a bite of Ben’s omelet.
“Or the stars,” said Amanda.
They spoke for a moment about wedding plans, Bella and Ben assuring them that eloping was the way to go if they could possibly get away with it.
“You’ve never met my mother if you think that’s even close to a possibility,” said Fred.
“Same with mine,” said Amanda. “That’s why we’re keeping it to ourselves for a while before all the madness starts.”
My mother. Ben squeezed her knee under the counter. He understood.
“I hear from Mike you guys are full-force ahead on your business,” said Fred.
“That’s right,” nodded Ben. “Bella’s going to be famous. We have the business plan of all business plans.”
“Being married to an MBA is so hot,” said Bella, teasing.
“Being married to a makeup mogul is so hot.” He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the mouth. “You taste like blueberries.” He whispered this in her ear, causing her to shiver with desire. They should finish up lunch and head home for an afternoon nap.
“What’re you naming it, Bella?” asked Amanda, pouring more coffee into Ben’s cup.
“Bellalicious.”
“Sounds delicious,” said Amanda, her innocent eyes wide.
Fred glanced at his watch. “Shoot, I’ve got to get back to work. I’m still on duty here in River Valley for another week and who knows, we might have another big crime.”
They said goodbye and congratulations once again before Bella happily took another bite of pancake. Bellalicious. She couldn’t wait to tell Stefan tomorrow at Annie and Drake’s Thanksgiving dinner. Gennie had already given her blessing on the name. She’d actually flushed with pleasure when Bella had told her. She couldn’t help but think it had something to do with the fact that Stefan was the originator.
When Amanda left the counter to tend to another customer, Bella leaned close to Ben. “I’m not giving up hope on Stefan and Gennie. You know that, right?”
“I would expect nothing less from my blushing bride.” His eyes were laughing as he leaned over to kiss her. Laughing eyes. Her husband had laughing eyes. And there were blueberry pancakes to eat and the possibility of Gennie and Stefan falling in love and her gang of misfits joining together in a feast tomorrow and babies and kissing in the rain and honorable work. All of these small and large joys that were love must be gathered close, experienced fully, knowing all the while they were fleeting and elusive. And in that moment she understood it was only this, only love that offered meaning and even possible redemption in a world too often dark, too often difficult. Just this. Just love.
***
“You did what?” asked Annie, her eyes as angry and shocked as Bella had ever seen them. She slid forward on her chair, almost knocking over a bowl of yams. “Please tell me I didn’t hear you right.”
Alder shook his head, sounding resigned to the inevitability of
fate. “They eloped.” Sitting next to Bella at the long table filled with all their friends, he leaned close enough so only she could hear. “You’re in so much trouble.”
“Don’t sound so happy about it,” she whispered back.
Linus, sitting on the other end of the long table, had both of his hands covering his mouth. “Oh, sweetie, what have you done?”
“But I was going to walk you down the aisle,” said Drake, looking positively mournful.
“And a dress?” said Annie. “Didn’t you want a dress?”
“Hey, it was my idea,” said Ben, putting his hand up in protest. “Don’t blame Bella.”
“Bullshit,” said Annie, her eyes wild, scanning the table as if for confirmation. “Everybody knows the woman makes the decision.”
“Well, that’s not always true,” said Tommy. “I decided what kind of wedding we had.”
Linus guffawed. “Yeah, but you’re not a normal straight guy and Lee could care less about girly stuff.”
Lee scowled at him. “That’s not true.”
“Honey, it kind of is,” said Tommy.
“Well, we’re staying out of this anyway,” said Lee, with a pointed look back at her husband.
“Right. Of course,” said Tommy.
Annie was looking almost accusingly at the silent Gennie. “Did you know about this?”
“I’m sorry, Annie. But it was what Bella wanted.” Gennie moved her wineglass in a circle, her gaze fixed downward and her voice soft. “Sometimes motherless girls can’t pick a wedding dress without pain ripping the whole thing to shreds.”
The table went quiet. Finally, Drake reached out across the table and took Bella’s hand. “Congratulations.” He looked at Ben. “Welcome to the family.”
Stefan, sitting next to Gennie, put his arm around the back of her chair. “Maybe we could have a reception. You know, just a party or something.”
Her gaze on Gennie, Bella nodded. “That would be wonderful.”
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