Learning to Love

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Learning to Love Page 3

by Erin Trejo


  “Let me see you, Jace. I need to see you,” I cry. Trying to turn around again, he holds me in place.

  “Why won’t you let me see you!” My anger is bubbling up in my chest.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just better this way.” Jace presses a kiss to my cheek before swiftly moving away from me.

  I hurry and stand, turning to try to catch a glimpse of the man that holds a piece of my heart, only to see his back as he leaves.

  Chapter 14

  Bullet

  “You saw her?” Micah asks as he slides the bottle of Jack toward me.

  “Yep. Fuckin’ held her in my goddamn arms, Micah!” I roar. I’m pissed. I’m pissed at myself for letting that happen. I knew I shouldn’t have bothered her. I should have stood the fuck up when she was in the bathroom and ran the fuck out of there. But I’m not that strong. I couldn’t be...

  “Fuck, Bullet. What happened?” His face is full of concern for me. I can see it. Micah and I have always been close, though. He knows me.

  “I let her go... I hauled ass out of there. I just fuckin’ needed to see her, to touch her. Does that even make fuckin’ sense?” I ask with uncertainty. Micah sighs before grabbing the bottle from me, taking a long pull himself.

  “Makes a lot of sense, brother. It was like that with Aub’s. I needed her, man. You need that girl. It’s understandable after what you two went through.” Shaking my head, that’s not it.

  “No, I can’t need her, Micah. She isn’t mine!” Roaring doesn’t get me anywhere but knocked back on my ass. Looking over my shoulder, Bomber looks a little pissed. Fuck him. I don’t give a shit if I piss him off.

  Bomber eyes me for a second before he says, “You need to calm the fuck down. Link has somethin’ to share with us.” I don’t like the look in his eyes. I can see this shit going south, and quickly.

  Link walks around to the other side of the bar before opening a folder. Slapping a few pictures down on the counter in front of me, I drag my eyes slowly to them.

  When I see her, I grab them into my hands. Her beautiful face, those dark eyes.

  “What the fuck is this?” I ask, holding them up as Link shakes his head. He’s about to tell me what it is and I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.

  “Her name is Trinity Huffman.” No, no fucking way in hell is this going where I think it is.

  “Tell me it’s a different Huffman. Tell me Link!” I growl. Shoving off the stool, I stand tall. My shoulders squared, ready for a war.

  “Wish I could, brother. Trinity is Daniel Huffman’s daughter.” Link confirms what I thought. I close my eyes as the room begins to sway. How is that possible? This can’t be.

  “You have to recheck that shit, Link. She can’t be,” I say softer this time. Prying my eyes open, I look directly at him. His eyes fall before coming back to rest on mine.

  “I’m sorry, Bullet. She’s his daughter. Got security footage from the hospital of him comin’ and goin’. Got his guys takin’ her home, brother. I’m sorry.”

  Tossing the pictures onto the counter, I roar with rage. I have to move, I have to hurt something, someone.

  Slamming my fist repeatedly into the first wall I come across, I watch the blood flow out of my skin.

  I just sent her from one hell to another.

  What the hell kind of man does that make me?

  Chapter 15

  Mouse

  He left me again. The one solid thing that I held onto for so long, left me again.

  My heart doesn’t feel right anymore. It’s as though all of the good has been sucked out of my life. I hate that feeling.

  “You need to eat,” Max says as he sets a plate in front of me, but all I can think about is Jace.

  “I’m not hungry.” He sighs before sitting across the table from me.

  “Are you going to tell me what my father needs with me?” I ask. Max shoots me a look that says not to ask, but I want to know. I know he’s powerful. I know he’s into a lot of illegal things. I also know that he’s feared by many.

  “You ever heard of the underground?” Shrugging my shoulders, I’ve heard people talk, although it never meant anything to me.

  “There is one man that runs it all. There is one man that is responsible for keeping the peace between everyone that operates under him.” If he has a point, I wished he’d get to it.

  “The people that took you, they wanted his information, correct?” Max asks. Nodding my head, this is making no sense to me.

  “They wanted what he had. Your father runs this city, hell, he nearly runs this state, Trinity. You are a valuable asset for anyone to have.” I lean back slowly in my chair, letting that sink in. He runs this city? No, I would have known that. I would have known who he was.

  “This is insane, Max.” I start to shove out of my chair when he stops me.

  “Is it? Why do you think you’re guarded so well? Why do you think you were targeted when you snuck around on your own, and why the hell do you think he got so pissed when he heard you ran into that diner?” I gasp. I never thought about any of that. I knew the things my dad was into were illegal, but I never knew he was on that level.

  “What does this have to do with me?” I ask, not sure I want the answer. Turning back to him with tears in my eyes, he shakes his head before standing.

  “You are the Princess of this world. You are leverage. You are payment. You are a debt. You’re a bargaining chip. You are so many things, Trinity.” Oh, my God.

  “I’m dead,” I whisper to myself. That’s what I am. The reality sinks in as I turn and run toward the stairs.

  I’m as good as dead—being his daughter.

  Heading into my room, I go straight to the bathroom.

  I won’t let him do this to me. I won’t let him use me to his advantage.

  Grabbing the razor out of the shower, I snap the handle off, letting the blade fall free.

  I sit on the edge of the tub, looking at the blade that could end it all. The one thing that could take away what he has.

  “Go to hell, Father.” Dragging the blade along one wrist, I bite down on my lip before doing the same to the other.

  I’ll take myself out of the equation. He won’t have anything left to bargain with.

  Chapter 16

  Bullet

  “Where is he? Where the fuck is Bullet?” Aubrie’s voice booms through the room. What the hell did I do to her? She sounds pissed.

  “Over here. What the fuck did I do now?” I ask, grinning at her as she rushes toward me. My face falls when I see the look on hers.

  Shoving off the couch, I stand up just as she stops in front of me. The guys are all gathered around her from hearing her yell.

  “She’s there... She tried to kill herself. You have to go get her out.” She’s talking so quickly, I can barely keep up.

  “Calm down. Who is where?” I ask, resting my hands on her shoulders. She takes a deep breath before she says, “Trinity is in the hospital. She’s on my floor. She tried to kill herself. She’s been out of it, almost delirious. She keeps saying that she won’t let him use her as a bargaining tool.” Aub’s shakes her head, obviously afraid of what she heard, yet still confused by it all.

  “Calm down, sweetheart. I can’t help her, Aubrie. That’s a war.” Her head had fallen forward, but when I say those words, it shoots up like a rocket.

  Shoving me in the chest, I release her.

  “So, you’re going to let him ruin her? Kill her? She’ll do it again, Bullet. I saw the look in her eyes,” Aubrie screams. Fuck! Why is she doing this to me?

  “You wanna save that girl?” Bomber’s voice is the last one I wanted to hear, but what he said, shit, that cuts.

  “I don’t know how, brother,” I say honestly. Bomber steps up next to Aubrie before Micah yanks her back against him.

  “Yeah, you do. I’m askin’ you, not as your President, but as your friend. Do you want to save that girl?” Bomber asks once more. I swallow hard, not knowing w
hat to say.

  Everything inside of me wants her safe after what she had to live through. Everything in me wants to take it all away from her, but there’s that lingering pest in the back of my mind, telling me I’m no better than her father is.

  “I don’t…” I begin to speak. Bomber doesn’t let me finish. He grabs the front of my cut, yanking me toward him.

  “I don’t wanna hear your bullshit excuses. I asked you a goddamn question, now, you fuckin’ answer it!” Growling in my face, I let his words sink in. I do want to save her. I just don’t want to put her into another hell.

  “Of course, I wanna save her. She’s the only thing that kept me alive in that hell, Bomber. But, tradin’ out one hell for another? That shit ain’t fair!” I snap. His face reddens as he inches closer.

  “I don’t give one fuck about tradin’ hells. If you want to save that girl, you say the goddamn word, Bullet.”

  He’s giving me the option to save Mouse. Is it really an option I want to take, though?

  It’s a war I’m not sure we’re ready for. It’s a war within myself that I’m unsure of.

  I have the power to save her, but do I want that responsibility?

  Chapter 17

  Mouse

  I fucked up, yet again. How hard is it to kill yourself? You’d think that shit would be easy, but no, not for me it isn’t.

  Of course, Max found me and rushed me here. My dad wasn’t all too happy, but hey, I’m still alive.

  I’ll do it right next time. I know I will.

  They have me on so much medicine I can barely see straight. I hear a commotion in the hallway, but I can’t move to look.

  Maybe it’s my dad coming to scream at me some more. Maybe I’ve finally managed to piss him off more than usual.

  I clench my eyes shut when I hear the door open. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to deal with anymore right now.

  “Goddamn it, Mouse. I leave you alone for a few days and this is what you do?” His voice is low and husky. Jace. He’s here.

  “Jace?” I ask. I need to know it’s really him.

  “Yeah, sweetheart. We’re gonna go for a little ride, ok?” he says. I feel him removing the wires that are connected to me before I force my eyes open.

  Jace stands above me, green eyes shining brightly, his long dirty blonde hair, hanging around his face.

  “You’re beautiful,” I say. His smile is perfect as he looks down at me.

  “How much shit do they have you on?” He smirks at me once more before looking away and finishing what he started.

  “Jace?” I say his name. Dragging his eyes back to mine, I get lost in them.

  “You’re really here?” I ask, needing the reassurance. He nods his head before leaning down close to me.

  “I need you to listen right now, ok? I’m gettin’ you outta here, but I need you to stay calm.” As if I needed to be told. This is Jace. This is the man that saved me once.

  “You’re really beautiful,” I tell him again. God, what are these drugs doing to me? Jace chuckles before standing back up.

  “You can stare at me later. We need to go...” The door opens again and another guy walks in. He’s just as hot as Jace is.

  “Are all of you beautiful?” I ask. God, it’s like it’s raining hot men today! The drugs are swirling around in my system and apparently, I have no filter with them.

  “Nah, Bullet’s the pretty one.” Who the hell is Bullet?

  I look to Jace as he chuckles before rolling me up in the blanket.

  “Let’s get you outta here,” he says. Lifting me like I weigh nothing, he heads toward the door as my eyes flutter closed.

  It doesn’t matter now. If this is a dream I want to enjoy it. If this is the last of my memories, I want them to be in Jace’s arms.

  Every other memory has been about him, and this one is going to be no different. I want to savor this.

  Chapter 18

  Bullet

  “Never thought we’d be shufflin’ down this shit again,” Micah huff’s in front of me as we walk through the old part of the hospital. I know it brings back bad memories for him. Hell, this is where Aubrie was kidnapped once.

  “Hopefully it’s the last goddamn time,” I grunt. Dax laughs as we make our way to the end door.

  “Where’d you put those fuckers anyway?” I ask. I glance over at Dax as he smiles.

  “Tied them up in the last room over there. They won’t wake up for a while and Link shut down all the cameras,” he assures me. Thank fuck. No trace of us will be seen coming or going from here with her father’s guys fucked up. I know Dax is good, he didn’t let them see his face.

  “Good thing Link’s a fuckin’ geek,” I mumble. Micah laughs before motioning for me to wait. He walks out the end door, checking the area before waving me forward.

  “Aubrie is gonna love playin’ nurse at the clubhouse,” Micah says. I can’t stop the smile that crosses my face. She is a good one and she really does care about people.

  “Thought she already played nurse with you?” I ask as I climb in the van with Mouse’s little body pressed close to me.

  “Fuck off, Bullet.” Laughing hysterically, I situate Mouse in my lap while the guys all jump in.

  “Stealth moves, Micah. Just like back in the day,” I tell him. He knows I’m talking about our time in the war together. We had each other’s backs, even back then.

  “Fuck yeah. This was a good one, though. We didn’t have to kill anyone,” he says. Nodding my head, I have to agree there. As much as I don’t mind the kill, it’s always nice when you don’t have to do it.

  Mouse stirs in my lap as Link takes off driving.

  “Am I in heaven?” Her groggy voice is so fucking sweet. Just like I remember it being in those cells.

  “Not yet. I don’t plan on lettin’ you see that place anytime soon,” I tell her in honesty. A small smile crosses her lips and I smile with her. How could I not?

  “Jace, are you an angel?” she asks. The guys laugh when they hear that. I chuckle, too.

  “Not even close, darlin’. Not even close.” Her smile fades before I realize she is back asleep.

  “You can be my angel, Bullet.” Dax laughs looking over his shoulder at me.

  “Fuck off, Dax. I’m the fuckin’ dark angel. The angel of death.”

  And I’m scared as fuck that, that’s what I’m going to end up being for her.

  Chapter 19

  Mouse

  The nightmares never stop. They’re always the same.

  I snap my eyes open and look around confused. This isn’t the hospital!

  SHIT! Where the hell am I?

  I start to shove myself up when I feel fingers wrapped around mine.

  My stomach constricts as tears form in my eyes.

  Turning my head to the side, I see him lying there asleep. So, perfect. There’s a scar that runs across his forehead and down his eye, ending on his cheekbone. Even that is beautiful.

  I fight for control not to reach over and run my fingers down it.

  Jace must sense that I’m awake. His big, green eyes open slowly, focusing on me.

  “You’re awake.” His voice is husky. Sexy as hell, too.

  “Where are we?” I ask. Having no clue where it is we are, I take the chance to ask.

  “My place. Well, the clubhouse actually. You’re safe here,” he says. Those three words do something to my insides. I’m not safe here, I’m not safe anywhere.

  “I need to go. My dad will look for me.” The small smirk that pulls across his face melts my insides.

  “Are you that eager to get away from me, Mouse?” he asks. I know he’s only playing, I can see it in his eyes. God, those are some beautiful eyes.

  “I don’t want anyone else getting hurt because of me,” I tell him. His smirk stays in place as he looks between my eyes and my lips. Oh, my God, I hope he doesn’t kiss me. I don’t know if I can handle that as much as I want him to.

  “Do I look hurt?�
�� he asks. Shaking my head slowly, he reaches for me. I jerk slightly, not knowing that I did it. His hand falls short before he pulls it back to his side.

  “He can’t get to you here. He doesn’t even know we have you,” he says. My heart starts pumping harder. We? He said we. Did he just take me for the same reason the other guys did?

  Shit! I shoot off the bed and away from Jace as I look around the room for a way out. I need to get out of here. I can’t do that, I can’t be put through that again.

  “What the hell?” Jace shoves off the bed, standing and staring before moving toward me.

  “Don’t move! I’ll shoot you!” Grabbing the gun off the dresser next to me, I aim it at him.

  I don’t want to shoot him. It’s Jace for Christ’s sake! I want to feel safe with him. I want to believe that everything will be okay, but I can’t.

  Chapter 20

  Bullet

  They say there’s a first time for everything and this right here is a first for me. I’ve never had a woman pull a gun on me before, let alone my own goddamn gun. It’s a little sexy though, seeing her holding it like that.

  I scratch my jaw as I look at her in front of me.

  “I’ll do it! I won’t fucking be used anymore,” she screams at me, but I don’t know what the hell is running around in that pretty little head of hers.

  “You wanna put that down before someone gets hurt?” I say smoothly. She grins an evil grin before shaking her head.

  “You people took me. Why, Jace? You want the same thing those other people wanted?” she screams. I let out a chuckle before I can think about it. She runs her finger over the trigger and fuck me if I don’t stop laughing in that second. She’s a loose cannon right now.

  “We took you from the hospital, darlin’. Do you realize who it is you’re talkin’ to?” I ask. Maybe the drugs have her fucked up, I don’t know.

  Her eyes narrow on me. Damn, I’m pissing her off all kinds of ways right now.

  “I’m not crazy! I know who you are, Jace!” Nodding my head, I take a step closer, her finger never leaving the trigger.

 

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