Natalie swung around to him. “Papa?”
Nate hesitated in answering, knowing his daughter wanted to stay, but waiting for Meagan to add her voice to the invitation as she normally did. Only she didn’t, and the silence felt uncomfortable. “I think not tonight. But thank you for your invitation. Perhaps next time?”
“Of course. You and Natalie are always welcome at our table, Nate.”
Nate waited a moment to see if Meagan would add anything to that. When she didn’t, he simply said, “Thank you, Mrs. Snow. That means a lot to both Natalie and me.”
“You are quite welcome. It’s the least we can do after all you’ve done for us. Besides, we enjoy your company.”
Somehow, Nate didn’t think Meagan quite agreed with her mother, and he began to wonder if she’d gone to the gala with him because he gave them the loan. He sincerely hoped not.
Frustrated that he didn’t know how to approach Meagan and still upset at Abigail for telling Natalie not to talk about her, Nate went to see Abigail after work the next day.
Her housekeeper showed him into her parlor, and Abigail glided over to greet him. “Why, Nate, what a nice surprise … unless—is something wrong?”
Nate wondered if she could tell how upset he was by his expression. “There is something I would like to talk to you about.”
“Oh?” She motioned to the settee. “Please, take a seat and tell me what is on your mind.”
Her voice sounded hopeful, and he hated to ruin her pleasant mood. He really did appreciate Abigail. She’d been there to help him with Natalie through her own grief. But she wanted him to feel something he didn’t feel for her, and he wished she would just accept it. It would make being part of the same family so much easier. But as he knew all too well, life wasn’t always easy, and it was for his daughter’s sake he was here today. He might as well get straight to it. He took the chair beside the settee and waited for Abigail to sit down before he said anything.
“Natalie says you don’t want her talking about Miss Snow anymore.”
“What?” Her right eyebrow went up as it always did when she felt defensive.
“Did you not tell her that you didn’t want her talking about Miss Snow?” He knew that Natalie didn’t lie. He waited for Abigail’s answer, well aware that he couldn’t rule out that she would.
“Perhaps she misunderstood me, Nate. I did tell her that Miss Meg seemed to be all she wanted to talk about anymore.”
“She likes Miss Snow and considers her a friend. It’s no different than you talking about your friends all the time.”
“It is different, Nate.”
“How so?” Let her explain further if she would.
“It just is. She seems quite taken with the woman, Nate. I don’t want her to get hurt. You might want to guard against Natalie becoming too attached to her—she’s a mere seamstress!”
If he only knew how Meagan felt about him, Nate would gladly tell Abigail that if he had his way, Natalie would be seeing much more of the seamstress. But something in his sister-in-law’s demeanor kept him from doing so. He did make one thing clear. “I don’t want you ever to tell Natalie that she can’t talk about someone she cares about. If she can’t feel free to talk to you, then how can you possibly think you are—”
“Oh, Nate dear,” Abigail interrupted him, her tone suddenly sweet as honey. “This has just been a misunderstanding on Natalie’s part. I will tell her I never meant to upset her and assure her that she can always talk to me about anything.”
Nate stood. He felt he’d accomplished the main thing he came here for. He was pretty certain that Abigail wouldn’t be telling Natalie that she couldn’t talk about Meagan or anyone else she might wish to talk about again.
If Meagan’s mother had wondered why she hadn’t insisted that Nate and Natalie stay for supper, she hadn’t said anything, and for that Meagan was very grateful. She didn’t know why she hadn’t tried to get them to stay …. Well, maybe she did. She just wasn’t sure how Nate felt about her. There was a time when she’d thought he might care about her as much as she did him, but Abigail’s insinuations had her doubting his motivation in asking her to the gala. Had it only been to help her business out that he’d asked her to accompany him?
Meagan hoped not. She prayed not. But there was no denying that it well could have been for that reason. He hadn’t asked her to accompany him anywhere else, so how could she be sure? And if he was not interested in her in the way she was him, it was better for her to steel her heart against the love she could no longer deny she felt for him.
Meagan kept telling herself that as she cut out the muslin pattern for Abigail’s new gown. Oh, how she wished she could tell the woman to take her business elsewhere. But for the sake of her business and her family’s future, she could not. It was time to face reality and quit dreaming.
She was face-to-face with reality when Abigail came in for her fitting that very afternoon. She’d brought a friend with her, Miss Rebecca Dodson.
“Oh, what a nice little shop you have here,” Miss Dodson said. “I’ve been hearing all kinds of good things about your work. I’m still using Mrs. Sparrow for now, but Abigail insisted I come with her and keep her company.”
Meagan was immensely relieved that the woman had a dressmaker of her own. She liked Mrs. Connors a lot, but her daughter was another matter entirely, and Meagan wasn’t interested in acquiring any of Abigail’s friends as customers.
“Please, make yourself comfortable, then. There are some of the latest fashion magazines to look at, or if you and Miss Connors prefer to talk, she’ll be able to hear you through the screen.”
Evidently, that is what they did prefer because she’d barely started pinning the muslin on Abigail before she began to talk about Nate.
“Nate came by to see me yesterday afternoon, right out of the blue, Rebecca,” Abigail said.
“Oh? What did he want?”
“He is concerned about Natalie. He wants her to be able to come to both of us with anything. He said he wants her to be able to talk about the things that mean a lot to her.”
“Hmm. That sounds as if he’s … thinking about the future, doesn’t it?” Miss Dodson asked.
“I certainly hope so!” Abigail giggled, and Meagan had to struggle to keep from purposely sticking her with the pin she was holding.
“I’ve been telling him how much Natalie needs a mother. Perhaps he’s finally taking me seriously,” Abigail continued.
Her friend laughed. “And I know just who you have in mind.”
“Well, who better to raise Natalie than the sister of her mother?”
“You have a point. Besides, Natalie has always been close to you, and you’ve loved Nate for a very long time.”
Meagan took the pins out of her mouth and swallowed hard. She was glad she was behind Abigail so that the woman couldn’t see the tears that formed. Abigail was trying to get a message across to her; there was no doubt about it. Well, it appeared she did have a prior claim to Nate, and no amount of wishing or dreaming was going to change that. It was time Meagan accepted the fact that she would never have a future with Nate Brooks. She blinked back the tears, stuck the pins back in her mouth, and finished pinning the pattern on Abigail. By the time she was done, Meagan had her tears under control and was resolved to get through the afternoon. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to do it on her own, she prayed silently for help to do just that.
“I think that’s it. The gown is going to fit you nicely, Miss Connors. Now all I have to do is mark the pins and take them out. You can come back for a fitting a week from today, if that is convenient for you.”
“That will be fine,” Abigail said. “I think Nate will really like it.”
The woman loved to shoot darts, and her aim was perfect, Meagan thought. Oh, how she wished she never had to pin another thing on her! But she couldn’t get out of it. There was still the loan to pay off and the fact that Abigail could cause problems with that loan—not to mention her
customers. Over half of them were Nate and Abigail’s friends or business acquaintances. No. Much as she would like to tell the woman to find someone else to sew for her, she just couldn’t do it. All she could do was pray for the strength to keep her thoughts to herself … and to put Nate Brooks out of her mind.
fourteen
Nate was on the way to Meagan’s shop with Natalie for a fitting when he realized that he wasn’t going to have an excuse to go to her shop much longer. At least, not nearly as often. There wasn’t much more he could have Meagan make Natalie. She had nearly a whole new wardrobe.
He’d hoped it would become obvious to Meagan that part of the reason he’d ordered so much from her was so that he could see her on a semiregular basis … especially after he’d taken her to the Crescent. He thought she would be aware that he wanted to court her. If she’d come to that conclusion, she certainly showed no sign of it. Feeling that his time was running out, he was determined to find a way to tell her how he felt and that he wanted to see more of her.
He hoped to have that chance today. His daughter had come to feel so comfortable and welcome at Meagan’s shop and home that she ran ahead of him and burst into the shop. He could hear their conversation as he approached the door.
“Good afternoon, Miss Meg! I’m here for my fitting!” he heard Natalie say.
He heard Meagan chuckle. “So you are,” she said. “Good afternoon to you! I have everything ready, so come on and we’ll get started.”
Nate entered the shop just as they disappeared behind the changing screen. He took his normal seat in one of the chairs and waited for Natalie to come around the screen and twirl in front of him. When she did, it was worth the wait. She looked adorable in the silk dress she could wear for dinner or to church. Meagan only needed to put the hem in and finish the matching jacket.
Natalie twirled this way and that in front of the mirror, admiring herself.
“I think she likes it,” Meagan said.
He chuckled. “Now whatever gave you that idea? She looks adorable, Meagan. And she loves everything you’ve made her.”
“Thank you. She’s a pleasure to sew for.”
Mrs. Snow entered the room just then. “Oh, Natalie dear, I knew that would look lovely on you, and it does!”
Natalie curtsied prettily. “Thank you, Mrs. Snow. I feel like a princess in everything Miss Meg makes for me.”
“And you look like one,” Nate added.
“Nate, it’s good to see you. Are you able to stay for supper with us?”
“Oh, Papa, can we? Please?”
His daughter’s eyes implored him to say yes, but he wasn’t sure what to do—
“Please do join us,” Meagan said, looking at Natalie.
Nate wondered why she didn’t look at him and had a feeling she’d added her invitation to her mother’s just for Natalie’s sake, but he wasn’t going to turn it down. Hopefully it would give him the opportunity to be able to talk to her later. “Thank you, then. We’d be honored to join you.”
As she and her sisters helped get the meal of roast pork, mashed potatoes, and green beans on the table, Meagan wondered why she hadn’t told her mother earlier in the day not to ask Nate and Natalie to stay for supper. Once the invitation was issued, however, she couldn’t bear disappointing Natalie again. She kept telling herself that it was the child she was concerned with, yet if she were being honest with herself, she had to admit that she truly wanted them to stay—in spite of the fact that Abigail was making her life miserable each and every time she came into the shop.
Meagan had come to the realization that Nate hadn’t meant to hurt her. It wasn’t his fault that she’d begun to care for him so much. She shouldn’t have read so much into the outing for a soda or the invitation to the Crescent gala … or the dance lessons in the moonlight. She told herself that the first had just been out of politeness and the second had most likely been to help her business out. The third, well, he hadn’t given her any real encouragement that he cared about her the way she did him. Not really. She’d just hoped.
And now, looking at Nate from across her dining room table as they all enjoyed the apple pie her mother had made earlier in the day, she told herself to let go of the hope. Much as she cared for Nate and his daughter, his sister-in-law was part of their family and there was really no way to compete with Abigail Connors. She was a determined woman, and she wanted Nate. Of that there was no doubt. She’d come out and told Meagan that she planned to be married to him. How much plainer could it be? If Abigail was that certain, she must know how Nate felt about her.
Yet the way Nate looked at Meagan, off and on throughout the meal, continued to make her pulse race and turn her heart to mush. When he asked if he could have a minute with her after supper, while Sarah, Becca, and Natalie were helping to clear the table, she wasn’t sure what to think. All a tremble on the inside, she led him to the family parlor where they’d had tea the day he’d decided to give them the loan.
She motioned for him to take a seat in the same chair he’d sat in the first time he’d come to this room, and she seated herself on the settee. “What is it you want to talk to me about, Nate?”
“It’s of a personal nature, Meagan.”
“Oh?” Her heart seemed to stop the slow somersault it had begun, and she held her breath, waiting for his reply.
“For some time now, I’ve wanted to ask you to have dinner with me. There is a new restaurant in town that I’ve wanted to try, and I’d very much like to take you with me if you would like to go. I was wondering if you would be free to accompany me tomorrow evening.”
Oh how she wanted to go! With every fiber of her being, she wanted to accept his invitation. But from all of Abigail’s accounts, they were practically engaged. If so, he certainly shouldn’t be asking her to go to dinner with him. Who did he think he was? He might be the banker who loaned her money to start her business, but he was also the man who’d stolen her heart when he was almost engaged to another. Nate had no business playing with her feelings.
She might be risking her business, but she couldn’t risk more heartache. Disappointment in him pierced her heart as she jumped up from the settee and answered, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to accompany you, Nate.” Meagan was well aware that she sounded angry, but she couldn’t help it. She was.
Nate stood also, looking a bit surprised and … there was something else in his eyes as he looked at her. “I’m sorry. I—”
The girls entered just then, and Meagan didn’t know who was the more relieved at the interruption—she or Nate.
“Papa, may I play one game of checkers with Becca? I’m getting much better at it, and I know it is from playing with her,” Natalie said.
Nate glanced at Meagan and then back to his daughter. He shook his head. “Not tonight, dear. We need to be getting home.”
Meagan’s heart twisted in her chest. She didn’t want things to end like this between her and Nate. She didn’t want them to go. But they weren’t hers to keep, and it was becoming more painful by the day to want something so badly and know that she couldn’t have it. A life with Nate and Natalie wasn’t going to happen for her, and she had to accept that fact. Abigail had a stronger claim, and there was nothing Meagan could do about it except perhaps to lower her standards—and that was something she had no intention of doing.
Nate listened to Natalie’s prayers, trying to hide his heartache at Meagan’s refusal to have dinner with him. But his daughter was quite intuitive and put her small hands on each side of his face as he kissed her good night. “Papa, are you all right? You seem sad tonight.”
He was sad. But he didn’t want his daughter taking on his mood and becoming dispirited herself. “I’m fine, dear. Just a little tired, I suppose.”
Nate told himself that it wasn’t really a lie. He was tired of being lonely and tired of not knowing what direction the Lord wanted him to go in. He’d thought it was to pursue Meagan Snow, but after tonight, he thought that perhaps he�
�d been wrong.
“Well, you’d better turn in yourself and get a good night’s rest,” Natalie advised with a giggle.
“I might just do that, sweetheart. You sleep tight and have sweet dreams.”
“You, too, Papa,” Natalie said as he turned down the gaslight and left her door ajar so he could hear if she called out in the night.
He went back downstairs and entered his study to find that his housekeeper had left him a pot of hot cocoa. Mrs. Baker knew he liked the beverage any time of year and especially before bed. Perhaps it would help him sleep, but he doubted he’d have sweet dreams tonight. It appeared that he’d been living on dreams ever since he met Meagan Snow. At first, she’d reminded him of his Rose, and then as he’d come to know her, she’d become a gracious, beautiful woman in her own right—at least in his thoughts and dreams. But when she’d turned down his invitation to dinner, he’d come to the realization that perhaps she wasn’t interested in him as a man, but only as the one who had approved her bank loan.
A Love For Keeps (Truly Yours Digital Editions) Page 11
