by Mary Monroe
“I don’t love the man, but he’s got a lot of money and he’s real nice. The man I wanted to marry is poor and he spends a lot of time in jail. I have to be smart and look out for my future and the children I plan to have.” She stroked my dick some more. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you love the woman you’re going to marry?”
“Yes, I do. I love her very much.” I squeezed Maria’s hand.
“You love her enough not to cheat on her?”
“Cheat? Baby, what we do is no more cheating than jacking off. You know as well as I do that most of the club members are married,” I snickered.
“I’m sorry to hear that you think making love to me is the same as ‘jacking off,’ ” she pouted. Her body stiffened and she stopped stroking my dick.
I pulled her closer and tightened my embrace before I kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing for me to say. What I meant was, I don’t think what we do is really being unfaithful. We’re only in it to have a good time and enjoy the company of people we like. And of all the women in the club, you’re the one I enjoy being with the most.”
“Thank you, papi. You just made me feel so much better.” Maria sighed and started stroking me again. “Then we’ll still get together even after we marry other people?”
I hunched my shoulders and kissed the top of her head again. “Honey, married or not, we will continue to get together as long and as often as we can.”
“I have never even made love with my fiancé, so I don’t know what I’m getting.”
“Why have you not made love with the man you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with? Doesn’t he want to?”
“Yes, he does, but I don’t.” Maria shuddered and let out a loud breath. “He’s fat and hairy and old and ugly. And he smells like a burro.”
“Shit, baby! I feel sorry for you, but once you marry this creature, you won’t have a choice. And because you made him wait, he’ll probably want to hit it two or three times a night.”
“I know. He’s taking me to Spain for our honeymoon for a whole month. If he’s not a good lover, I’ll be climbing the walls by the time I get back home. In case he’s not good, I need something to hold me over until the next time I can see you. I’d die for another session with you before I get married.”
I laughed. Had I not liked Maria so much, I probably would have killed her a long time ago. “Honey, you don’t have to do something that extreme to be with me again. I’m thinking about driving down to Baja in a couple of weeks to do some fishing. If I do, you can meet me there. And I will cool you off so well, you’ll think I stuck an icicle between your legs.”
“That would be the best wedding present you can give me!” she squealed.
Her cell phone lay on the hotel nightstand right next to mine. One rang, and she thought it was hers so I didn’t move. “That’s your phone,” she told me as she scrambled up and trotted into the bathroom.
I rolled over and checked the caller ID. LOLA! Since the clock was ticking on her life, I decided to give her a few moments of my time. I took a deep breath and hit the answer button. “Lola, how are you?” I began, speaking in a low voice.
“I’ve had better days, Calvin,” she bleated, sounding like a sick sheep.
I sat up and held the phone closer to my ear. “I hope I can brighten your day, sweetie. What’s the matter?”
“I hope you don’t mind me calling, but I really needed to talk to somebody. My best friend is unavailable and you . . . well, you’re one of the best listeners I know. You care about people’s feelings, so you’re the only other person I wanted to talk to.”
“Lola, I haven’t completed my run. I’m still in San Ysidro. I’ll probably be back in the Bay Area by tomorrow evening or Thursday morning. It depends on traffic and whether or not I take a motel break along the way.”
“Oh. Well, is this a bad time for you to talk?”
“I can talk for a couple of minutes. I was thinking about you and your stepmother’s passing. I hope she died peacefully.”
“She had a massive heart attack. I know that had to be painful, so I doubt if she died peacefully.”
“I am so sorry to hear that. That’s what took my uncle out a few weeks ago.”
“She and I argued Friday evening, and she got real upset. I think she had her heart attack around the same time I was with you. She died minutes before I made it to her hospital room, so I didn’t get a chance to tell her good-bye. If only I had made it there sooner!”
“So if you hadn’t been with me, you might have made it in time to say good-bye to her.” My voice was full of genuine compassion. I actually felt for this cow.
“Calvin, don’t say that. Don’t make me feel any worse. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself for anything any more than I should. My stepmother had been in bad health for years, so it was just a matter of time anyway.”
“How are you holding up?”
“My stepsister is blaming me for causing the heart attack. When I walked into that hospital room, she lit into me like a blowtorch. I was afraid to go home when I left the hospital. I had to spend the night with my friend, Joan. When I went home Saturday, the locks had been changed and she had packed some of my stuff in garbage bags and left them on the porch.”
“Goddamn! Where are you now?”
“I’m in a motel.”
“Oh. Well, I’m glad you have your cell phone with you. How long are you going to stay in this motel?”
“I’ll probably stay here until I find a place to live that I can afford. Even if my stepsister calms down and lets me back into the house, I don’t want to stay there now. I took real good care of my stepmother for years. Just like I promised my daddy I would. But apparently she didn’t think so.”
“Why do you say that?”
“My stepsister’s husband came to the motel and brought some more of my stuff. I only need to get my bedroom furniture now. He told me that my stepmother didn’t leave me anything in her will. She left the house, her money, and everything else to her no-good daughter and son.”
“Shit. Do you mean to tell me that after all you did for that woman, she left you high and dry?”
“That’s right. I didn’t expect to inherit the house or any of the profits from it if her children sell it, but I never expected to be completely forgotten. My stepsister’s husband also told me that my stepmother had planned to leave me something until her kids talked her into changing her will. Shortly before she died, she told him she’d meet with her lawyer and put me back in it and not let her kids know, but she put it off until it was too late.”
“I guess you didn’t know her as well as you thought you did.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Let’s give the lady the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she thought you were so smart and self-sufficient, you didn’t need anything from her. From what you’ve told me about her children, always borrowing money from her, they don’t sound responsible at all. So maybe their mother just wanted to make sure they’d be in good shape financially when she died.”
“That could be true, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.” Lola snorted and then she laughed dryly. “But I’ll be just fine.”
“I know you will, and I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure you are.” I heard her gasp. Knowing her, she was probably jumping for joy too, but I didn’t give her time to respond to my comment. “Lola, let’s plan on getting together in the next week or so. But that’s only if you feel up to it. And we don’t have to do anything but talk and maybe have a few drinks. I really do care about you.”
She gasped again. “Thanks, Calvin. I was reluctant to call you, but next to my stepsister’s husband, you’re one of the nicest men I know. And no matter what happens in the future between us, you will always have a special place in my heart.”
Lola’s last statement almost made me gag. If this goofball slid any closer to the bottom of my hip pocket, I’d need a shoehorn to ge
t her out.
“You will always have a special place in my heart, too, Lola.” I wanted to add, “You will always have a special place in my freezer, too, bitch.” This was one of the many things I’d tell her just before I killed her though. “I have to go now so I can get up and get back on the road.”
“Bye, Calvin,” she mumbled.
“Bye, Lola,” I whispered because I heard Maria open the bathroom door. I turned off my phone and held open my arms as she sashayed back to the bed.
Chapter 38
Joan
I ABSOLUTELY HATED FUNERALS. SHORTLY AFTER I MARRIED REED, I told him to his face and in writing that if I died first, I wanted to be cremated and I did not want a funeral. I didn’t want anybody gawking at me lying in a coffin. The only thing I agreed to was a brief memorial service. I’d told my family the same thing in case Reed and I got divorced, or if he died before I did.
Bertha’s funeral was the saddest one I had ever attended. She looked so pitiful lying there with her hands folded across her chest. I was pleased to see that the funeral parlor people had done such a good job on her hair. They had hidden the bald spots that she had always been so self-conscious about. Her hair was in the same curly, bubble-looking do that Lola used to style for her. It was so ironic that this latest nightmare had started because Lola had refused to delay a date and stay home so she could do Bertha’s hair.
Every single pew was filled to capacity, and dozens of people had to stand. Bertha’s children and some of the relatives from Mississippi sat on the two front pews. Mr. Fernandez and about a dozen of his relatives occupied the two behind them. She had been one of the most beloved teachers at our elementary school. I counted at least thirty of her former students, the retired principal, and several teachers who had worked with her. The guests also included her last three doctors and the Jewish family she used to clean house for when she was in college. The only person missing was Lola.
“Mama, how come you made me come to this dang funeral for some old lady I hardly knew and Lola’s not even here?” my impatient son, Junior, whispered. I sat between him and Reed in the middle of a pew a few rows from the front.
“I talked to Lola this morning and she will be here. She’s just running late,” I whispered back as I glanced toward the back of the room. We had arrived only fifteen minutes ago, and Reed had already dozed off. I jabbed his side with my elbow. His body jerked, and he turned sharply to look at me. “Will you please stay awake? You know you snore like a damn moose, and I’m not going to let you embarrass me in front of all these people.”
“Then you shouldn’t have made me come,” he grumbled.
“Reed, show some respect. If this was your mother’s funeral, Lola would be here,” I said before I suddenly started boo-hooing.
“Get ahold of yourself, Joan,” he ordered in a low voice. “You’re worried about me embarrassing you? I’m more worried about you embarrassing me.”
Right after Reed stopped talking, I looked toward the back of the room again. Lola had finally arrived. She looked so sad in her navy blue dress and her hair pulled back into a ponytail. I waved to her, but she didn’t see me as she moved slowly toward the pews closer to the front and sat down on the third one, right next to Elbert Porter and his mother. He kissed her cheek and draped his arm around her shoulder. I liked Elbert, but I didn’t like the fact that he wanted to be more to Lola than just a friend. I had told her more than once that going out with him was sending him the wrong signals about their relationship. I also warned her that he could become obsessed and maybe even start stalking her, but she assured me that Elbert would never do anything to hurt or upset her.
“Isn’t Lola supposed to sit in the same pew with Libby and Marshall?” Junior asked as he chomped on a wad of gum. He stopped chewing when I glared at him, took a napkin out of my purse, and held it in front of his mouth.
“Yes, she should, son. But you can see how crowded that pew is,” I replied as Junior spat his gum into the napkin and I stuffed it back into my purse. Then I turned to Reed. “Baby, I’m so glad you took a couple of hours away from work this morning to come with us.”
“I had Beverly reschedule the rest of my appointments for today, so I’ll be taking the rest of the day off as well,” he said dryly.
“I’m glad to hear that. It’ll be nice to have you home on a weekday.” I hated telling a lie in church, but I made an exception when it involved Reed.
“Um . . . I’ll be spending the rest of the day helping Dr. Mansfield prepare his speech for that three-day conference in L.A. that he and I will be attending the first weekend in May.”
“Oh? This is news to me.”
“Didn’t I tell you?”
“No, you didn’t. Since when does Dr. Mansfield need help preparing a speech? He’s been doing it on his own for years.”
“He’s in his late sixties now, and since he had that mild stroke last year, he’s not as sharp as he used to be. He needs a little help now and then.”
“But he’s still sharp enough to practice medicine?”
“Yes, but only a few days a month. After this conference, he’s going to retire. He’s already referred most of his patients to other doctors. He was one of my mentors, and he’s been like a father to me for years. I’d like to do all I can to make his golden years comfortable. He got real excited when I agreed to help him write his last speech.”
“Well, it was nice of you to agree to help him, honey.” In spite of all the aggravation Reed caused me, I was proud of the fact that he was so caring when it came to his friends and colleagues. Even so, I was glad to hear that he was going to be out of my hair again so soon. A club member from New York was going to be in California the same weekend in May and wanted to spend some time with me. He was fairly new, so only two women had posted reviews about him. According to one, he was a ball of fire in the bedroom. All the other one said was that she couldn’t wait to see him again. I hadn’t responded to his date request yet, but now that I knew Reed was going to be gone for another whole weekend, I made a mental note to accept the date as soon as I got home.
“You know how much I love L.A., so I’m looking forward to the conference.”
“When did this come up? You always tell me weeks ahead of time when you have to attend a conference.”
“I found out about it last month. I thought I told you.”
“Well, you didn’t tell me, but that’s all right. I have a feeling Lola’s going to need my shoulder to cry on for the next few weeks, so I’ll be pretty busy myself.”
“Poor Lola. For her sake, I hope she stays as far away from Libby and Marshall as possible. It’s a good thing that looks can’t kill, because Lola would have dropped dead as soon as Libby spotted her,” Reed said under his breath.
The next thing I knew, Jeffrey got up and rushed over to Lola and whispered in her ear. She promptly rose, and he led her by her arm to the back of the church. There was a look of disbelief on her face when she passed our pew.
The service was so long, I almost dozed off myself. Reed did go back to sleep. I cried into my handkerchief as his head bobbed against my shoulder. When he started snoring, I jabbed him in his side again with my elbow until he woke up.
I was tempted to bolt when Libby leaned on the pulpit and went on and on about what a great mother Bertha had been to her and Marshall. “If God made a more righteous woman, He kept her to Himself,” she swooned, fanning her face with a white handkerchief. “Mama, I love you! Please continue to be the guardian angel you were to me in life!” That bitch. Her crocodile tears didn’t fool anybody, because I’d overheard several mourners talking about how she had mistreated Bertha. When we’d arrived, I’d spotted her outside drinking from a can of Red Bull and on her cell phone yip-yapping and laughing!
What Marshall had to say was even more incredulous. “My mama was my best friend and the only person I could always count on. And she could always count on me whenever she needed assistance of any kind. She will be missed,” h
e babbled. All of a sudden, he closed his eyes and began to sway from side to side. He looked like a penguin in his black suit and white shirt. He even walked like one when an usher rushed up and helped him back to his seat. But then he did something that stunned everybody. He pushed the usher away, waddled back to the pulpit, and continued. “Mama had a lot of friends, but like Jesus, she also had a lot of tormentors. Since she is no longer here to say it, I’ll say it for her.” He paused and looked directly at Lola. “As sweet a woman as my mama was, she was still the victim of wolves in sheep’s clothing! Every single one of them will suffer!” It didn’t take a genius to know that one of the wolves he was talking about was Lola. Marshall stood there and wept and wailed like an old woman. He stumbled and fell, and three ushers ran to assist him. They helped him up and escorted him back to his seat.
Not only did my jaw drop, so did Reed’s. Almost every other person gasped and prayed out loud. Most of them knew how selfish, greedy, and mean-spirited Bertha’s children were. And the same people knew how devoted Lola had been to her. Libby and Marshall were behaving like buffoons at their own mother’s funeral! From the horrified expressions on almost every other face present, including Reverend Clyde’s, it was obvious that they knew the “wolves in sheep’s clothing” who had tormented Bertha. I turned around again. I was pleased to see several elders standing close to Lola. One old sister had her arm around her shoulder.
“I can’t believe my ears! The nerve of Libby and Marshall. Those two jackasses treated their mother like shit,” Reed snarled. “Well, what goes around comes around.” There was an amused look on his face. “If there is an afterlife, I’m sure Bertha won’t miss them borrowing money from her.” I had shared with Reed some of the things Lola had told me about Bertha’s relationship with her children, but not everything. I had never told him about how often they borrowed money from her and how disrespectfully they treated her. But the busybodies had such long tongues, their gossip eventually reached people they didn’t even know. Even Reed.
“I didn’t know you knew about them hitting Bertha up for money all the time,” I said, giving Reed a guarded look. “What else have you heard?”
