by Brenda Mott
Wade had felt a lot of confusion lately when it came to Tess and the way she turned his emotions all topsy-turvy. For him to sort things out was going to take some time, and he figured the best way to do that was not to avoid Tess, as he’d originally considered doing, but to face her head-on. It was, after all, what his dad had raised him to do. Something he’d been taught his entire life. Face your problems, son, Tom Darland always said. Don’t let fear get in your way, or it’ll overcome you and you won’t be worth one spit in the dust.
If Tess wasn’t exactly a problem, she was the next closest thing. Sure, a lot of guys wouldn’t see her that way at all, and would likely call Wade crazy for looking at Tess as such. But then, a lot of guys weren’t in his shoes.
His mom and dad had never been the sort of partners he and Deidra had been. With their opposite ways of thinking, Ruthie Darland had never been truly happy as a rancher’s wife. She was the one ultimately responsible for the recent subdividing of the family ranch, which had broken Wade’s heart and accounted for much of the animosity between him and his mom. Deep down, he knew his mother’s pressure to subdivide bothered his dad, as well. It wasn’t the first time Tom and Ruthie had butted heads as a result of their opposing views, causing family strife when Wade was younger. Therefore he’d made sure when he married that it was to the sort of woman he had a lot in common with. The sort he could spend an entire lifetime with on an even keel.
Only, that lifetime had been cut short by a split decision and an oncoming train.
Shaking away the thought, Wade carried the box of bridles outside. He’d drop them off at Lloyd’s, then come back to the ranch to see about sorting and gathering some of the cattle he planned to sell at auction on the upcoming weekend.
From around the corner of the house he heard the growls of his red heelers, Smokey and Bandit, followed by a volley of barking. Their signal that they’d found something worth chasing. Frowning, Wade set the box on the porch rail and started down the steps just in time to see what looked like an orange rat streak across the yard. It ran for the driveway, both dogs hot on its tail. Moving like a paper cup tossed on the wind, the scrawny cat bolted across dirt and gravel and dived underneath Wade’s pickup truck.
With a sharp whistle, he called both dogs to heel. Reluctantly, they came to him, stubby tails wagging. Their red-and-white mottled coats were streaked with a stickiness that told him they’d been out in the sagebrush.
“What are you two troublemakers doing?” he asked. “Huh?” Frowning, he made his way across the driveway toward the pickup and knelt beside one front wheel. “Get back!” He waved an arm at Smokey and Bandit as the dogs hovered nearby, muscles tense, expressions alert. They backed off, though not far. Bracing one hand on the wheel well and the other on the ground, Wade peered underneath the Ford but didn’t see a thing.
Then he heard it. Coming from the engine compartment. “Meow!”
“Ah, geez.” Cats were not on his list of favorite animals. Macy had begged him for a kitten on more than one occasion, but he’d countered every one of her reasons for owning one with a reason not to.
Cats were good mousers.
Traps worked just as well and you didn’t have to feed them.
Traps didn’t purr, and you couldn’t cuddle them.
No, but they also did not claw furniture or poop in the barnyard.
For some reason, Macy could not grasp the validity of that argument, considering that the cows and horses did their share of waste elimination and then some. Wade hadn’t been able to find the exact words to explain. There was just something sneaky about the way a cat did what it did. Pooping in some obscure corner you’d never notice, then covering it up with dirt so you didn’t realize until you were walking in the vicinity and it was too late.
“Come on, cat, I don’t have time for this,” Wade grumbled, rising to his feet. He banged on the Ford’s fender. “Get out of there! Doggone it.” He couldn’t go anywhere until the critter decided to climb out. If he started the engine…well, there was no way he’d do that. He might not be fond of cats, but he certainly had no desire to see one hurt. Smokey and Bandit weren’t helping matters any. They’d stepped closer once more, eager to give chase. “Go lie down,” he commanded, pointing firmly toward the porch. Looking highly disappointed, the heelers trotted over to lie in the shade near the lilac shrubs.
Wade unlatched the Ford’s hood, raised it and peered inside. At first he saw nothing. Then he spotted a scrawny, yellow-orange tail poking out from the midst of his engine. “Kitty, kitty,” he called. “Hey, you. Come out of there.” He leaned in and reached to touch the cat’s tail. It gave a plaintive meow, then jerked its tail out of sight.
“Where’d you go?” Wade called, leaning to check once more under the truck. A tiny head with gremlin-size ears poked out from underneath the engine. Huge, green eyes blinked at him.
“Meee-ooow.” For such a little mouth, the kitten had a big voice.
Its pitiful cry made him feel momentary guilt for disliking those of its species. But the next several minutes brought him nothing but frustration at his inability to coax the kitten from the truck’s engine. He tried talking to it, rapping on the fenders, the bumper. He even honked the horn. But the little varmint refused to leave what it perceived as a haven.
Wade sank against the driver’s seat. “Great! How the heck am I supposed to get to town now, cat? Huh?” And what in thunder was he doing talking to a cat, for heaven’s sake? He’d obviously been hanging around Tess way too much. He thought about all the cats he’d seen at her place, hanging out on the porch, around the yard and in the house. He supposed he could call and ask her to come help him get the kitten out, but the prospect of doing so left him feeling like a complete idiot. He could imagine her reaction. He handled bulls that weighed two thousand pounds, but he couldn’t manage to manipulate one itty-bitty kitten that probably weighed three pounds soaking wet?
The picture that came to mind of Tess having a good laugh at his expense turned his irritation to anger.
“Cat! Either you come out right now, or I’m going to let Smokey and Bandit finish what they started.” Again, guilt plagued him as he spoke. He could never, ever follow through on his threat.
Wade sighed and climbed from the truck once more. “Kitty,” he said in a softer tone. “Hey, I didn’t mean it, okay? But I really need to get to town.” Frustrated, he leaned against the fender and folded his arms. What did cats like? He thought about television commercials he’d seen, involving kittens and balls of yarn. He didn’t have any yarn, but maybe the kitten wouldn’t notice the difference between that and baling twine.
Wade headed for the barn and returned with a length of the bright-orange nylon string in his hand. “Hey, kitty, look here.” He dragged it across the ground beneath the truck’s bumper. “Come on out of there and get the string, you dad-gummed pain-in-the-butt cat.” He drew the twine across the dirt, then moved around behind the Ford’s front wheels and repeated the motion.
Suddenly, the kitten’s yellow-orange face poked out from on top of the Ford’s drive shaft, followed quickly by the ratlike body as the kitten pounced. Wade pulled the string away from the truck, then snagged the critter with one hand as it darted after the bait. “Aha! Gotcha, you rascal.” He tucked it in the crook of his arm. The kitten meowed and squirmed, then stared at him with those big green eyes and blinked.
Green eyes.
Like Tess.
Oh, brother. His brain had to be totally addled now, thinking like that.
“You sure caused a lot of trouble for something so tiny,” he said. Forget three pounds. He doubted it even weighed that. It looked as though it hadn’t seen a decent meal in ages. Wade’s heart gave that strange little hitch it had earlier, when he’d stopped the dogs from chasing the kitten. He couldn’t stand seeing any living creature suffer, even though he wasn’t an animal nut like Tess. He sighed. “You want a bowl of milk, kitty? I guess we’ve got time for that, but then I’m taking you
straight to Tess. She can put you in her yard with all those other critters she harbors.”
The kitten hooked its claws into his skin and purred.
“Ow!” Wade pried the animal loose and headed for the porch, casting a wary gaze toward his dogs. They rose to their feet and sniffed eagerly, necks stretched in an attempt to investigate at closer range. The cat dug its claws in once more and scrambled onto Wade’s shoulder. He let out a colorful expletive and managed to stop the kitten just short of hooking itself around his neck. “Damn, but you’re a quick little bugger. Get back, Smokey. Bandit.”
He made his way into the kitchen and found a cereal bowl. Silent witnesses to his betrayal of sensibility, the red heelers watched through the screen as Wade poured milk over some dog kibble and let the starving kitten go at it. The animal ate so fast its breath came in gasps.
“Slow down, pardner. You’re gonna choke.” He reached to stroke it with one finger, fascinated by its ability to wolf down the dog food so quickly when its mouth was no bigger than a minute. His ministrations were rewarded with a warning growl that rumbled up from deep within the kitten’s chest. Wade laughed. “Feisty little thing, aren’t you? Yep, you and Tess will get along just fine.”
TESS SIGHED and ran her hands underneath the water in the feed store’s bathroom sink. She planned on taking a long lunch so she could meet with Bailey and stop by the County Care Facility, as well. She’d make the time up to her dad by coming back and working until closing so he could go home early.
She had an hour before she was supposed to meet Bailey. From the freezer in the back room, Tess took the small container of ice cream she’d saved from her party. After stuffing the ice cream into a paper bag with an ice pack to keep it cold, Tess added a plastic spoon, then headed outside to her truck. Today just wouldn’t seem like her birthday without her seeing her mom.
For once, spring had actually come with a vengeance this year in late April, and now with May nearing an end, the temperature had already risen into the high seventies. The noon sun seemed to burn her shadow into the blacktop as Tess walked across the parking lot and climbed into her pickup. Minutes later, she pulled up in front of the County Care Facility and made her way inside. Raelene sat in her usual place in the chair near the window, staring outside, her expression blank.
“Hi, Mama. How are you feeling today?” Tess walked over to kneel beside the chair.
Raelene said nothing for a moment. Then she turned to look at Tess and frowned. “Where’s Charlie?”
Tess had never met the man who would have been her uncle, and didn’t care to from the things Rae had told her of him long ago. Older than Raelene by four years, he’d taken great pleasure in tormenting her when they were kids, pulling cruel pranks such as letting Rae’s goats out into the road just before dark. Making her frantic. Tess wondered why Rae’s mind would lead her to think of him now.
“He’s not here, Mama. Don’t worry.” Tess folded her hand over her mother’s. “I brought you some ice cream. It’s homemade.”
“No.” Rae shook her head. “My goats can’t sleep.”
Tess took a deep breath. “The goats are fine. I promise.” She rubbed her mother’s hand in a soothing gesture, then removed the ice cream from the paper sack. “Look here. This is so good. You’re going to love it.”
“No!” Rae jerked away, her features screwed up in a petulant scowl. She moved her mouth as though groping for words that wouldn’t come. “That shed has goat hair now.” She emphasized the words by shaking one fist. Her eyes locked on Tess’s, and Tess knew that whatever her mother was trying to say made perfect sense to her, and that she was now frustrated because Tess didn’t get it. Rae stared at Tess as though she were the one with the mental block. As though to say, What is wrong with you? Why won’t you listen to me?
It broke her heart. The alternative world her mother lived in was so far removed from the here and now. At times like this, she felt helpless to do anything to calm and comfort, to make her mom feel better.
She reached for a second chair that stood near the bed and scooted it over to sit in front of Rae. “Come on now, Mama. Everything’s okay. Just relax. Here, try a little ice cream.” After opening the lid on the plastic container, she spooned a small portion from it and held it out in offering.
Rae appeared not to see it at all. She let out a frustrated sound and reached out to grip Tess by one braid. Wincing, Tess lowered the spoon and took hold of her braid above Rae’s grasp. “Mama, let go. It’s okay.”
Rae’s lips curled in a snarl, and spittle dribbled down her chin. Tess dropped the ice cream and spoon into the paper sack and used both hands to try to disengage her hair from Rae’s hand. As she did so, she turned slightly. And from her peripheral vision caught sight of Wade. Standing in the doorway.
Her heart jumped and her breath lodged in her throat. How had he known she was here? Better still, what was he doing here? She didn’t want him to see her mother this way. “Wade.” She gasped his name in a combination of pain and surprise as Raelene yanked so hard on Tess’s hair it made her eyes water.
In three long strides, Wade was in the room, beside her chair. “Let me help.” He spoke softly. “Raelene,” he said. “Can you take my hand, hon? Come on.” He held it out in offering.
Rae stopped struggling and looked at him. Her expression full of suspicion.
“Come on,” he repeated. “You don’t want to pull Tess’s hair that way, now, do you?”
“She doesn’t know what you’re saying.” Anger welled inside Tess. He had no right. No business being here.
But he ignored her. “Rae, take my hand.”
Her mom let go of her hair so abruptly that Tess nearly tumbled out of the chair. At the same time, Raelene bolted upright, shoulders hunched in a defensive posture.
“Not this dance day!” She reached for a serving tray that rested on the bedside table beneath a plastic pitcher of water.
Before Tess could so much as rise from the chair, Rae lifted the tray, sending the pitcher flying. Water spewed everywhere as Rae flung the tray with more strength than Tess would have believed possible. Straight at Wade.
Taken by surprise, he ducked, too late. The tray struck him in the face, hitting his forehead and the bridge of his nose. With a grunt, he stumbled backward, up against the bed rail. He shot out his hand to catch his balance and banged into the rail, rattling the entire bed.
Molly entered the room as Rae went into a screaming frenzy. Swearwords flew from Raelene’s mouth with enough force to make a grown man blush. Before her illness, she had never in her life uttered a cuss. Another unexplained affliction of her disease.
“What on earth?” Molly’s eyes darted from Tess to Wade and finally settled on Rae as a second nurse entered the room. “Raelene, calm down, dear.” Molly spoke, moving toward Tess’s mom. “You’re okay.”
Tess stood, hand clamped over her mouth, watching the scene before her unfold. Feeling as though she wasn’t even a part of it. How had this happened?
Before Molly could reach her, Rae snatched up the pillow from her bed and threw it at Wade. It hit his cowboy hat, knocking it askew as he backed away from the bed, hands raised to fend off her wild-eyed attack.
Rae continued to scream a mixture of nonsensical and swearwords, and the stench of urine filled the air as her bladder released into the adult diapers she wore.
Sick—not with embarrassment, not with shame, but with sorrow—Tess turned and fled.
CHAPTER NINE
FEELING LIKE A TRAITOR, but unable to stop herself, Tess ran down the hallway to the exit. Outside, she leaned against her truck, head lowered, and let the dizziness claim her. With her hands braced on the hood, she sucked in air, her breath coming in rapid gasps. What the hell had just happened?
Behind her, she heard the sound of cowboy boots on concrete. Then Wade’s arms were around her, pulling her against him. “Tess,” he soothed. “My God, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset your mom.” He squeezed her
tight, his body snugged next to hers, his chin resting on top of her head. Her cap was gone. How she’d lost it she had no idea.
Tess shook as though someone had thrown her into a deep freeze. The sun burned down on her bare arms, and still she shook. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. Nothing. Not one coherent thought.
“Let it out,” Wade whispered against her hair. “Just let it out, Tess.”
“No,” she choked. She would not cry. She hated crying, had done so much of it in the past.
“Yes.” He spun her around, hands on her shoulders, and looked deep into her eyes. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. Not to cry, and not of your mother’s behavior.”
Tess shook her head. “You don’t get it.” She coughed over the lump in her throat, fighting to keep her voice steady. “I’m not embarrassed by her. I’m embarrassed for her.” Her throat burned. On fire. Like her eyes. “If you could only know what she used to be like. What she used to…used to—” She broke off.
Wade wrapped her in his embrace once more, pulling her against his chest. “Let go,” he insisted. “I’ll hold you.” He rubbed her back. “I’ll hold you, Tess, for as long as you want.”
Sobs racked her body and suddenly the tears came, spilling down her cheeks to dampen the front of Wade’s shirt. Knowing people on the street must be staring, but powerless to care and unable to stop, Tess cried. And cried. Until she could cry no more. Until she felt that her very soul was dry and empty. Void of emotion, void of everything.
Her sobs tapered into hiccups, and she took a deep breath. Mortified beyond belief, she still somehow experienced a form of relief as she looked into Wade’s eyes. What she saw there, though, left her shaky all over again. Normally, he watched her with either irritation or desire or sometimes a distance she couldn’t quite comprehend. But now he watched her with genuine compassion, and something else. Something she’d often seen in her dad’s eyes when he looked at her mother.
