My alarm has me up around eight, and the silence around the house reminds me I haven’t heard from Alec. I haven’t woken up in a bad mood in so long that I nearly forgot what it would feel like. It feels like crap.
Jeans and a black sweater are my choice of outfit. Coffee gets made, and a boring breakfast cereal bar are in tow when I head to work to open the shop. I have a few clerical things to do before we open up at 10:00 a.m. No one ever comes in on Mondays, at least not a lot compared to other days. Once Haley comes in, we do more talking than working, but Mindy isn’t coming by, so we don’t care.
“How was the wedding?” Haley is too enthusiastic for me even in the afternoon. And she looks like a fucking shortcake in her pink dress, but it’s just my irritation talking.
“It was okay. I didn’t even talk to Chad, and everyone loved the flowers.”
“And how was Alec?”
I roll my eyes as I knew it was a matter of time before she even asked me about him.
“What do you mean?” I open a magazine to look busy. Something about the royals doing whatever out of the ordinary. The words don’t stand out to me as I do.
“I mean… you two went to a wedding together. That’s the universal green light for wild lovemaking.” She laughs, and I can’t help but smile at her, but it doesn’t reach my eyes, and it’s short-lived.
Of course, I think about being with him like that all the time. I mean it’s Alec—sexy, brooding, sweet Alec—but I couldn’t let myself be with him that way until I knew it could be more than roommates having sex. I didn’t have a bunch of rules about dating, but I had some. And we haven’t even really been dating, so it doesn’t seem to even count for much.
It doesn’t stop me from thinking about him all the time. When we kiss, it’s like all my edges just fade away and try to bind with him. We have a connection that I feel brewing inside of me, and it still isn’t stopping on account of him shutting me out. Again.
“We didn’t. Alec and I have not been together like that.” I swallow a nervous lump in my throat and evade her inquisitive looks. I fail, but she doesn’t seem to care as she still pries.
“Seriously? That’s so odd. I mean, you two live together. And I’ve seen him. How the hell do you keep your libido in check?” she shrieks, and I feel my cheeks flush at the thought. I mean we are close, but I’m not prepared to gush about how often I think about him when I’m alone in my bed and use my vibrator more than the television remote.
“Yeah. Maybe. But Alec and I aren’t technically together like that,” I half lie. I think more of us just because of how intensely I like him. But we never sat down and said we were together or exclusive like that.
“But… I thought you really liked him, and you didn’t listen to me when I told you to forget about him, so obviously you still like him like that.”
I sigh. “Yeah, and I should have listened to you,” I murmur before thinking. It’s followed by Haley dropping her magazine and prompting me to face her. I smile sadly at her, shaking my head almost to myself as I realize how crappy it all is.
“What happened?” she asks me. Her soft voice matches my somber mood.
“I don’t know,” I huff. “At the wedding, we were… great. I talked to him for hours out on the docks, he kissed me like he… like he wanted me just as much as I want him. He always does. And I thought we were making headway with him not closing himself off so much and pretending like I don’t exist whenever he wants. But then yesterday, he got a phone call, and then he just went in his room, slammed the door, and was in there for a while and wouldn’t let me in when I asked him. I haven’t seen him since.”
Haley sighs and gives me a sad look like she feels my pain too. I look away because I don’t want to face how naïve I sound saying everything.
“Mia… I told you this guy would be trouble. He doesn’t sound like he really values or cares about you. I hate to say it, but it just doesn’t sound good.”
I nod. “I know. Except he does care about me.” She tries to interrupt me, but I stop her. “No, I know it sounds crazy, but I mean it. For the past few weeks, he’s been great doing nice stuff for me around the house, and he listens to what I have to say. There was so much stuff I hadn’t been able to work through especially with my parents. But talking to him about it just made me feel better. I haven’t had that with anyone… just feeling like my best self around them.”
“Well, that’s great and all, but what do you know about him?”
I shrug, ticking my jaw. “Not much, I don’t think.” I realize I don’t know where he’s from or what his family is like or where he even grew up. My take on his age is a guesstimate. I only know that he’s an electrical engineer, and he drinks Shiner like it is a multivitamin.
“I don’t know. He sounds like trouble like I said. But that’s okay. Just from now on, don’t give so much of yourself away anymore. He obviously doesn’t appreciate it.” Haley has her stern face on and doesn’t let me look away from her until I comply.
“I guess you’re right. It still sucks.” I roll my eyes.
“I know. You had yourself a little crush, but you’ll be fine in a few days. If you need a place to escape his dashing good looks, you can kick it with me for a while. Someone has to cook around my apartment.” She giggles, and I manage to join her slightly. I appreciate Haley for trying to help, and while I do want to listen to her, I don’t have many more excuses left to keep me from leaving Alec behind.
So, I go through the rest of the day with him in the back of my mind remembering my life before he showed up like an undeniable plague. I close up at 5:00 p.m. sharp and head to the grocery store. Everything needs to be restocked, and it takes me two hours, but that’s just because I hover in the baking aisle to grab stuff for a feel-better cake. For myself.
Only on the way back, the Bluetooth in my car rings, and I dread the name on the caller ID, but I answer anyway.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Amalia, hi, sweetheart. How are you?”
She sounds genuinely chipper. “I’m fine. And, how are you?”
“Great, though I wish you would call more. Your father and I worry about you up there all alone.”
“Well, I’m fine.” I turn down the last street before my condo turns up at the end.
“I hope so. Anyway, Chad’s mother told me about your work at his wedding. I thought it was nice.”
I almost smile. “Thank you.”
“You could be a florist, you know. Doing weddings and such.”
I laugh humorlessly. “That isn’t why I majored in botany, Mom. But thank you.”
I notice a black sedan out front that I don’t recognize and eye it suspiciously. The windows are so tinted I can’t see inside the car.
“Well, sweetie. Everyone has their calling.”
“Uh huh. I have to call you back, Mom. I’m taking groceries inside.” I pull in beside the car and stop the engine. “Bye, Mom.” And I hang up before she says anything.
I get out and still don’t notice anything behind the black windows as I open my trunk. I groan and realize I have to make more than one trip.
“Need some help?” A man’s voice sounds behind the open trunk, and I step to the side to find the culprit.
“Um, no thank you.” The stranger isn’t some ordinary man, and he definitely doesn’t belong in my boring driveway.
He’s tall, but not overly so. And his honey-brown hair is quaffed back on his head which matches his dapper appearance. The black tailored suit completes it, the buttons undone showing off a broad chest fighting the white dress fabric of his shirt. He somehow looks familiar, but not like I’ve seen him before. Maybe just someone like him.
“Who are you?” I squeak.
He smiles, and I feel like I was hit in the face by the wind. But it’s really how dashing his smile is and his dark blue eyes glinting under the setting sun glow. He steps closer, but when I seem taken aback, he stops.
“I’m Holden Wilde. Does Alec live here? Alec
Wilde?” he says, and I realize why he looked familiar. It’s the shape of his face and the softness of his eyes that remind me of Alec.
“Oh. Yeah, he does. Is he—”
“My brother,” he finishes, and I nod as the pieces click together.
“He lives here. He usually doesn’t get home from work until a little later.” Even though it’s nearly 8:00 p.m., he should be home already.
Holden smiles softly and steps closer. This time I don’t look shocked, and he gets to a few paces away from me. He is as tall as Alec as I look up at him. And he gets this weird smirk that somehow doesn’t creep me out.
“So, you’re the chick he lives with,” he states, studying me under his overly familiar gaze. I clear my throat, and he stops, collecting himself as he looks back at my face instead.
“Yeah. I guess I am.” I try not to think about Alec telling his brother about me. And then I remember he barely mentioned a brother to me at all.
“You mind if I stick around until he shows up?”
“No, but I have to take these groceries in, so you can… wait out here.” I remember my ice cream is probably melting and start grabbing bags.
“I can’t wait inside?”
“No, I don’t know you.” I take a cluster of bags and shut the trunk.
“Right on.” He starts to say something else before I hear an engine rev behind me and see Alec’s car pulling up.
He turns in with a screeching halt, stepping out of the car, and slamming the door as he stares down Holden.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he growls, and I am taken aback by the harsh tone of his voice. Holden, on the other hand, laughs and tries to hug him. It’s half received, and I look on staring at these two brothers.
Women are awfully unlucky with them in the world.
“Came to see you, little bro. Just met your uh, roommate.” Holden smiles at me, and it makes Alec fume when he does.
“Mia, will you give us a minute?” Alec says without looking at me. He is still pinning Holden under his gaze.
“Sure,” I answer slowly, hoping Alec will at least look at me. He does finally. A glance that softens his eyes, and it helps me remember how he used to look at me before yesterday.
I go inside and try to put the groceries away calmly. But it doesn’t do much to calm my brain down. Minutes go by, ten then twenty. They are still outside, and curiosity gets the better of me when I peek out the living room window to look at them. Their conversation is obviously heated, and as Alec starts to raise his voice, I realize this might be a glimpse into his secrets.
17
Alec
“She’s cute.”
“Fuck off,” I scoff at Holden. Staring him down, I wonder how the hell he found me and what he’s doing here.
He laughs and leans on his Maserati. He was always into the flashy things that came with Dad’s company. We all grew up real nice. Now that Dad is gone, the company is his. He has every right to run around town in his luxury car, but maybe not show up at my condo, though.
“So, you’re pissed.”
“I’m not. Just want to know why you’re here. How did you even find me?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me. I cross my arms over my plain blue shirt that tugs at my tie, and I immediately want to take it off. I don’t like dressing like this, unlike Holden who will gladly wear a suit just to drive across state lines and irritate me.
“Wasn’t that hard, Alec. I would have done it sooner, but I figured you needed your false security in that I couldn’t find you anywhere you went. It took the PI half a day to find you. Guess you should have stopped using credit cards altogether.” His smile is smug. He seems different than the last time I saw him, but it has been so much longer than I remember that it could just be my mind playing tricks on me.
We always looked the most alike, and it’s weird to think that now that I know we are only half-brothers. Mom must be in us more than we thought.
“Right. So, what do you want then? I’m not coming back home if that’s what you came to try and get me to do.”
He laughs. “No. And I can imagine why you’d want to stay.” He points in the house to gesture to Mia, and I fume silently. He can’t know I have feelings for her. I would never hear the end of it.
“Look, Alec. I did come for a reason.” His expression hardens as he leans up. We match in height, and it’s easy to stare back into his eyes that match mine.
But I feel it before he even says it. Maybe we do have that connection between siblings or some shit, I don’t know. It’s just the way he looks at me like he feels sorry for me but not in a way geared toward pity.
“So, I got to thinking. About why you left in the first place. I couldn’t figure it out, it was harder than working on our last merger. But I tried to see what would make you so set on not signing that will. Hell, even Isaac faxed his over from his hideout, and he hasn’t reared his head in a decade. You were never one for all this secrecy so I just… wanted to know what happened. I thought maybe you fucked something up at work and had to flee the country, so I was glad to find you damn near right down the street.” He chuckles, and it’s nervous and uneasy.
I swallow back the nervous lump in my throat and meet his gaze—pointed, but not harsh. He wants answers, and I don’t know if I’m ready to give them to him. I can’t lie and say I’m not glad to see him here and not over the phone. I haven’t been crazy about family all the time, but yeah, I missed them. Seeing Holden makes me want to see the rest of my brothers even knowing everything I do now.
When Deric called yesterday, I was pissed and… and hurt like I’ve never been before. I spent the better part of the night wondering why he called and why he waited so long even to call. I wanted to ask my mom about it too, but then she would just insist on seeing me, and I wouldn’t be able to deny her. I wasn’t ready to subject Mia to everything that comes with me right now. So, pulling up and seeing Holden out here talking to her made me angrier than I had felt in a while.
That, and I hadn’t seen her in what seemed like ages. I see her every day, and not seeing her for one, made my head spin on its axis. I never realized how beautiful she is and seeing her next to Holden had me thinking maybe she was just better off without me. Maybe she would be better suited for him than me, and I was oddly okay with that. Just a simple look at her made me want to drop everything and confess. The way she looked at me, I felt her yearning for my gaze, and I would be damned if I didn’t give her at least that. A simple look from her calmed me down enough even to have this conversation.
“Yeah. This is where I’ve been.” I clear my throat and silence passes between us. I look down at my faded brown shoes digging my toes into the concrete before I widen my stance and fist my hands in my pockets.
“It suits you.” He smiles softly, looking at the plain brick exterior of the condo and then back to me.
I nod once. “Would you just say it, H? You were always one for the theatrics.”
He puffs out his cheek as he nods rapidly to himself. “Yeah. Yeah. I know you… I know Dad isn’t your father.”
I’m floored, but I saw it coming. Still, it lifts something off my chest that I only recognized as a vice now that it’s gone. I had no idea he knew, but now that he does, I feel one step closer to what could be the end of my life as I’ve known it.
“How did you find out?” I ask, wondering if it was Mom who told him. I thought it was unspoken that I didn’t want them to know yet.
“Same way I found you.”
“Shit, H. I didn’t want people knowing about this. It could change everything. Especially with the company.”
“I know. I know. But that legal shit isn’t something we can’t handle. No one is going to take the company out from under me, and there is no one who can contest the will just because you’re only our half-brother,” he says.
“I don’t think so. You don’t know what everyone else will say.” I am referring to the rest of our brothers, and he gets it.
&nbs
p; “None of them will give a shit, Alec. We’re brothers, all right? We fucking grew up together, did everything together. Nothing can take that away. Especially not some shit Mom did,” he scoffs.
“You’re mad at her?”
“No. I don’t know. She makes her own choices, but I don’t get why she couldn’t have been honest with us. How long did Dad even know?”
I comb my fingers through my hair in frustration and blow out a breath of air. “I don’t know. When I talked to him, he just said he had something to tell me. It was right before he died. I think it was all too much for him,” I add, almost to myself.
“Don’t blame yourself. He had a heart attack. Dude always ate too much bacon. We saw it coming.”
I almost laugh at my brother’s crude humor, but it doesn’t quite come through. “Don’t you miss him?”
“Yeah, I do. Especially in the office. It was real tough at first.”
“Yeah. I miss him, too. Can’t help but feel bad for him. He raised a kid who wasn’t even his.”
Holden gets in my personal space. “Don’t talk like that, man. What would he have done? Tell Mom to give you up? Wouldn’t have made much sense.”
“You don’t get it, H. I’m not… I’m not who I was before. I can’t sign that will because I don’t deserve any part of what Timothy built.”
“It’s Dad—”
“Not to me! Holden…” I brazen my hands and step away from him, maybe trying to get far away from his pleading gaze. “You don’t get it. He isn’t my dad. I was never his son, and we’re barely brothers.” My shoulders shrug in defeat, and I avoid his gaze.
Neither of us have anything to say for a little while, and I don’t force anything else out. Holden now understands why that will is so hard for me to sign. Why I have to risk people finding out, casting shame on everything Timothy built for the family. If people found out my share of the company was false, they would try and get a piece of it. The board, the investors… it would all be Armageddon.
Wilde About Alec Page 10
