“I can, but I don’t know about the baby.”
It was a cold night, probably only fifteen degrees, but he was sweating harder than if he’d been chopping wood in the sun in August.
As he zoomed down the road, Mark asked him, “Is Mom gonna be all right?” Tears quivered in the boy’s voice.
“You bet. We’re going to see to it.” The light he’d seen was farther away than he’d guessed, and it wasn’t on the road, but offset quite a ways.
Emily grasped his arm. “Slade, we’ve got to stop. I’ve got to—”
He told himself to keep his head. He told himself he could do whatever needed to be done. He told himself he’d take care of Emily Lawrence. Clicking on the flashers, he pulled over to the side of the road. “Mark, I’m going to need your help.”
“What can I do?”
Looking directly at Mark, Slade was glad Emily had taught her boy how to listen. “You’re going to sit in the driver’s seat and lay on the horn. Three times…wait a bit…then three times again. You’re just going to keep doing that no matter what else happens. Got it?”
“Okay,” the seven-year-old murmured.
Jumping out of the van, Slade shrugged off his coat and hat, then opened the sliding door. Motioning Mark out, he saw the boy safely into the driver’s seat. “Go ahead,” he directed.
Mark laid on the horn once, then with more confidence did it again.
With a nod of approval, Slade went around for Emily. She was panting, breathing hard and fast, and doubled over. It seemed like a major feat for him to figure out how to remove the middle seat of the van, shuck it out onto the side of the road and get her into the back.
When he used his coat as a pillow for her head, she managed, “Blanket in the back—for the baby.”
Taking her hand for a moment, he squeezed it. “It’s going to be okay, Emily.” He was going to do everything in his power to make sure of that.
There were two blankets in the back—one soft, one more coarse. There was also a small shovel, a jug of water, two candy bars rubber-banded to a flashlight and a bag of wood chips. Apparently Emily was prepared for getting stranded in the snow. He shook his head, amazed that such a slight little thing as she was reminded him of a pioneer woman crossing the Northwest.
Mark kept up the beeps on the horn as Slade covered Emily with the wool blanket. “How are we doing?” he asked her.
“I have to push, Slade. I don’t know if I should. But I can’t wait.”
Not wanting to yell over the sounds of the horn, he tapped Mark on the shoulder. “Hold up a minute.”
Then he looked down at her apologetically. “I’m going to have to look, Emily.”
The light inside the van glowed down on her, and he watched the expression on her face. “I know,” she responded in a low voice. “Do whatever you have to do.”
The first thing he did was pull off her boots, and then he made her as comfortable as he could. The idea of looking at her and touching her embarrassed him almost as much as it did her. But as he checked and saw the baby’s head, he knew this was going to happen quickly.
“Slade?” She held her hand out to him. “Take this. You’ll need it for the umbilical cord.”
In the dim light, he saw that it was a pink satin ribbon. She must have torn it from her nightgown. “Mark, hit the horn again, longer and harder,” he ordered, trying not to panic.
Her contractions were coming hard and fast, but now the baby didn’t seem to want to be born. Slade hadn’t prayed in years, but he sent a few words heavenward.
“A car’s coming,” Mark said.
Lights were headed toward them, and Slade didn’t want to leave Emily. But he had to flag down that car.
As he scrambled out of the van, the oncoming car slowed, and a brawny man with a full beard wound down the window. “What’s the problem?”
“She’s having a baby. Get to a phone and call an ambulance fast.”
“I’ve got a cell phone right here.”
Slade wasn’t much for modern conveniences, but right now he appreciated twentieth-century inventions. Returning to the back of the van, he thought about the best thing to do. “Emily, I’m going to prop you up a little bit. I think it’ll make this easier, and then when the next contraction comes, push. Push like you’ve never pushed before. Okay?”
Climbing into the van, he put his arms around her to help prop her higher against the door. Even in these circumstances, he was so aware of everything about her, from the scent of her shampoo to the creaminess of her skin, to the determination in her brown eyes. He couldn’t help but lean close to her, brush his hand down her cheek and say, “We’re going to do this, Emily.”
Her chin rested in his palm for a moment, and he saw tears gather in her eyes. Then she nodded and said, “I’m ready.”
He hoped to heaven he was.
At her feet again, he waited for the next contraction. It swept her body, and she tensed. He didn’t have to encourage her because she pushed with all her might. Suddenly he was holding her baby’s head in his hands. “Again, Emily. C’mon. Let’s get it out.”
It seemed forever until the next contraction, but then it came, and Emily pushed and pushed and pushed, and he held a perfect little girl in his hands.
The moment choked his chest and tightened his throat, and he didn’t imagine he could feel so deeply ever again. This was a miracle.
But then he moved and moved quickly, making sure the baby was breathing, tying off the cord, wrapping her in the blanket. When he laid the bundle in Emily’s arms, he asked, “Do you know her name?”
There were tears falling down Emily’s cheeks, and she nodded. “Amanda. I’m going to call her Amanda.”
When they were still lost in the wonder of what had happened, they heard the siren, and then Slade saw flashing lights. He moved out of the way, and a short time later held Mark’s shoulder as the paramedics took care of Emily and the baby. Driving behind them to the hospital, he hoped he’d done everything right and that nothing would go wrong.
In the waiting room on the maternity floor, Mark finally fell asleep on the sofa, leaning against Slade’s shoulder. He looked down at the little boy and felt a bit of the responsibility that Emily must feel every day.
When a nurse finally came to the waiting area, she said, “You can see your wife now if you’d like.”
“Oh, but she’s not…” He stopped. Maybe if he told the nurse the truth she wouldn’t let him see Emily. “I hate to leave the boy here alone.”
“I’ll watch him. Go ahead. You shouldn’t stay long anyway. She could use a good night’s sleep after what she’s been through.”
Following the arrows, he found the room easily. There were two beds, but one was empty. As he stepped inside, he saw the baby in a portable carrier near Emily. Emily’s eyes were closed, and he wondered if she’d already fallen asleep.
But then she opened them and looked up at him. “Quite a ride.” She gave him a small smile.
Approaching the bed, he teased, “I don’t want to do that again, anytime soon.”
She laughed. “Me, either.”
After he pulled a chair over to the side of the bed, he sat down for a moment. “Are you really okay?”
“I’m fine. Amanda’s fine. But Slade—” She stopped. “Never mind.”
“What?” he asked.
“I shouldn’t have come here. There are going to be bills, and…”
For years he’d worked, only spending money on necessities. The rest had built into quite a nest egg. Maybe once she got to know him better, she’d accept some help. Nothing in this world could have kept his hand from covering hers. “Don’t think about that now. You and the baby had to get checked out. It was the safe thing to do.”
“I’m coming home tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“The doctor said if I take it easy, it’s okay to go home.”
“What time do you want me to be here?”
“Ar
e you sure you want to get any more mixed up in this?” she asked solemnly.
“I’m already in it. What time?”
After a pause, she answered, “Around eleven?”
“No problem. I think my schedule’s clear.” He smiled, and then looked at the baby. “She’s beautiful, Emily.”
Emily nodded. “I know. Thank you, Slade.”
His hand was still covering hers, and he suddenly wished he could hold it all night, wished that he could hold her all night. But that was crazy.
Leaning back in his chair, he pulled away, then stood. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning. I’m going to go get Mark and bring him in to say good-night. I don’t want him to worry about you, or Amanda.”
“That’s a good idea.” Emily’s smile was full of gratitude.
When he left Emily’s room, he took a deep breath. It had been one hell of a night, and he was more than a little mixed up in it. Somehow he’d gotten much too involved. He should know better. Nothing lasted, and he wasn’t sure it should. Not one thing had ever been stable in his life. At the boys’ home, he’d make friends and then they’d leave. The staff had come and gone. When he’d left, it had seemed only natural to never stay in one place very long.
Besides that, he had a brother to find.
But as he went to fetch Mark, he knew no matter where he went or what he did, he’d always remember this night.
Forever.
As Slade suspected, Mark fell asleep on the way home. Slade woke him gently, and Mark sleepily crawled out of the van and grabbed for Slade’s hand as they followed the walk to the door. Inside he went straight upstairs without even taking his coat off. Slade helped the seven-year-old into his pajamas, then tucked him in.
But Mark looked up at him. “Can you stay up here with me?”
“I might snore and keep you awake,” he joked, not knowing if that was a good idea.
“Please?” Mark asked.
There was no way Slade could refuse him. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t I sit here until you fall asleep. Then I’ll stretch out in your mom’s room.”
Mark smiled at him, then snuggled into the pillow. Slade watched Emily’s son as he slid easily into sleep. Pushing up from the bedroom chair, he quietly left Mark’s room but kept the door ajar. At the threshold of Emily’s bedroom, he stopped.
This was a bad idea. The room wasn’t a frilly room, but it was feminine. A white ruffled duster ran around the bed, and what looked like a hand-sewn quilt in pink, blue and white, lay on top of the sheets. The covers were disturbed now, and he stepped closer, aware of the scent of roses. It was the same scent that seemed to cling to her. He saw the bottle of lotion on the nightstand.
It seemed an invasion of Emily’s privacy to sleep in her bed, but he didn’t want to disappoint Mark. So he straightened the sheets and smoothed out the quilt, lying on top of it. He noticed pictures of Mark on the small chest of drawers and a framed photo of an older man. But that photograph looked aged, and he suspected it might be Emily’s father. There was another smaller photograph with the same man, his arm around a pretty young woman. That photograph, too, looked old—Emily’s parents. Pictures of a younger man who might have been her husband were absent, and Slade wondered why.
A pale blue chenille robe hung on an old-fashioned clothes tree. It looked comfortable and warm, and he could imagine Emily in it. She was such a contradiction—sweetness and delicacy, yet strength and stubbornness. Then he thought again about holding her baby in his hands.
Switching off the light, he closed his eyes, feeling as if he’d dropped into somebody else’s life.
The next morning, Slade let Mark sleep. The boy was going to miss school, but welcoming his mother and new sister home from the hospital was an important event. After Slade showered, he wrapped a towel around himself and went downstairs to dress, knowing when Emily was around, he’d have to make sure he had clean clothes upstairs.
After he tended to the animals, he started scrambled eggs and toasted Emily’s bread in the oven. He’d just set the toast on the table when Mark came in. “You stayed upstairs last night,” Mark said, looking pleased. “I had to get up for a drink of water and checked to make sure.”
Glancing at the small boy curiously, he carried their plates to the table. “I told you I would.”
Mark shrugged. “Dad used to tell me he’d do things, too, but he didn’t.”
Whether he should or not, Slade decided to pursue this subject a little. “What kind of things?”
“Playing ball, riding, goin’ fishin’. He’d say he was gonna do it, but we never did.”
When Slade took the chair around the corner from Mark, he offered, “Maybe he was too busy. Running a ranch is a lot of work.”
“Mom’s never too busy.”
Slade suspected Emily always did what she said she was going to do. “I guess you miss your dad a lot.”
Mark glanced at Slade and thought about it for a moment. “I guess.”
Then Slade did the unforgivable by making a comment he hoped Mark would respond to. “I guess your mom does, too.”
But Mark just shrugged again, lifted his piece of toast and bit into it.
That’s what you get for trying to pump a child for information.
After breakfast Slade returned to Emily’s room. Looking embarrassed the night before, she had asked him if he’d bring the denim jumper and white blouse hanging in her closet, as well as more personal items from one of her drawers, to the hospital the next morning. He had assured her it was no problem. But when he opened her closet, he couldn’t help but finger the fabric of a navy-blue dress hanging there. He’d never stood in front of a woman’s closet like this before. Granted, he’d had his affairs, always taking care, protecting himself as well as the woman. But he’d never stayed in their bed very long or they in his.
Quickly grabbing everything Emily had requested, he went downstairs, called to Mark and they climbed into the van.
Emily smiled at Slade when he arrived at her hospital room with Mark in tow. She looked bright and rested and absolutely beautiful. But he knew it would be a mistake to tell her that.
“I forgot about clothes for the baby,” she said sheepishly. “So she’ll have to come home in her hospital things.”
“I don’t think she’ll mind,” Slade teased her.
After Emily hugged and kissed Mark, she motioned to the jumper. “I’ll be ready to leave as soon as I get dressed. The papers are all signed.”
While Emily dressed, Slade and Mark waited at the front desk. The nurse finally wheeled her and the baby out. As they took the elevator down to the lobby, Emily looked up at him, and the glow on her face as she held her newborn wrapped itself around Slade’s heart.
“It’s a good thing I still have everything from when Mark was born, or I wouldn’t be ready for this.”
“I’ll have to come into town for gas. I can pick up anything you need.”
Suddenly her smile slipped away. “You’ve done enough already, Slade. We’re not your responsibility.”
“Maybe not, but I couldn’t let you have your baby alone in the van, could I?”
She didn’t answer him and broke eye contact, looking down at the baby.
Everyone was quiet on the ride home.
Once they were back at the ranch, Slade helped Emily climb out of the van. As she walked slowly beside him cuddling Amanda, he kept a close watch. Once inside, she laid Amanda on the sofa while she took off her coat.
“You’d better rest for a while,” Slade advised her. “Can you manage the steps?”
“I can. Just slowly.”
“I’ll come up with you and help you settle in.”
Tears pricked in Emily’s eyes. Slade was being so kind, and she didn’t know what she’d do without him right now. That thought scared her almost as much as being close to him did.
At her bedroom doorway, she saw the made bed. “You didn’t have to straighten up.”
“Mark asked me to sleep up
here last night. I just stayed on top of the covers.”
Her cheeks pinkened. “I intended to turn the sewing room into a nursery. I’ve emptied it of everything but the machine, but didn’t get around to bringing the crib from the attic. Do you think you could get it for me?”
“Sure can. Do you want it in there or in here? If I have extra time, I could make the room look more like a nursery if you want.”
“I’d love to have pale pink walls…” she said, but she didn’t finish. “Just put the crib in here for now. That’ll be fine. The steps to the attic go up from the sewing room.”
Emily laid Amanda in the middle of the bed. After Mark went up to the attic with Slade on the pretext of helping, she sat beside her baby, simply looking down at her, not quite believing this beautiful little girl was hers. Gently Emily brushed Amanda’s downy brown hair across her forehead, remembering the look on Slade’s face as her baby had come into the world.
Slade.
She hated depending on a stranger like this, but the doctor had told her she should rest today and tomorrow. The problem was—Slade was becoming more than a stranger…much too fast.
When he returned to her room with the folded crib, he set it down. “I wiped down the crib so you don’t have to worry about it being clean. Mark found a box of old toys up there, and he’s going through them to see if Amanda might like any of them.” Slade’s amused tone told her he hadn’t tried to persuade her son differently.
“I guess I’ll have to teach Mark how to be a good big brother.”
“I don’t think it will take much teaching.” Slade opened up the crib, made sure it was sturdily set and then put the springs and mattress inside that were sitting beside the chest in Emily’s room.
As Emily stood to get the sheets she’d washed from her bottom chest drawer, Slade blocked her way. He was standing at the foot of the crib. “How are you feeling? And don’t tell me you’re fine.”
Slade smelled like soap and man and she pictured him sleeping in her bed. “But I am fine. I have a beautiful baby girl who I didn’t even know yesterday, and I’ll have years to find out all about her.”
Just the Man She Needed Page 3
