“Slade, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. The people who took care of us kept us fed and clothed. Most of them were nice people. But it wasn’t like having a real family. Kids came and went. So did the staff.”
“Was your brother there with you?”
“I didn’t know I had a brother, not until a couple of months ago. The home in Tucson where I grew up closed its doors. The whole system is different now and so are the kids. I was working on a ranch in Idaho when I got a letter from there.” Every Christmas he sent the home a donation, and they must have kept track of his address. “With the letter I found a copy of my mother’s death certificate and two birth certificates. One was mine, the other my brother, Hunter’s. The birth dates are the same. The time of birth was five minutes apart.”
“You have a twin?”
“Looks that way. There was a letter telling me Hunter had been adopted privately when we were eight months old. And there was a note on the certificates that copies had been forwarded to an address in Billings the same date as everything that was sent to me. I tried to contact authorities in Tucson for more information, but no one knew anything. All of it happened too long ago.”
“Do you think your brother’s in Billings?”
“I guess I can hope, but there isn’t a phone number there for a Hunter Coleburn. I’m going to dig around public records, ask a few questions, go to the address. If I can’t turn up anything, then I guess I’ll hire a private investigator.”
“That will be expensive,” Emily murmured.
“I know, but I have a nest egg tucked away.”
“I wasn’t trying to find out—”
“I know you weren’t. But since I left Tucson when I was eighteen, I haven’t had much call to spend money. A man doesn’t need much when he’s working or on the road.”
“I guess you’ve never lived in one place very long.”
“Nope. I went where I could find work, construction jobs, ranching. So I’ve pretty well traveled the South and Northwest. Have you ever been outside of Montana?”
She finished her muffin and put her napkin on the coffee table. “Never. I haven’t been any farther than Helena. Dad took me there one time for a rodeo.”
“What about your husband?”
“Pete grew up here like I did. And he didn’t have any desire to…well, to see anyplace different.”
There was something in the tone of her voice, something that made him want to pry a little more. Yet he didn’t want her backing off. It was better if he asked questions one at a time, spaced apart.
Picking up her milk, she took a few sips and then set it back down. She looked nervous for a moment and then she asked, “How long do you think you’ll be staying?”
“I don’t know. It depends on what I find in Billings.” Then he added, “It depends on how long you might need me here.”
“You won’t be adding to your nest egg if you stay here.”
“I told you, I don’t need much.”
The way she was looking up at him, it was as if she was trying to figure him out. Her brown eyes were soft, her lips glistened from her sips of milk. The sleeve of her robe brushed against his shirt as he shifted slightly toward her. “You’re a beautiful woman, Emily.”
Her cheeks grew rosy and she shook her head. “I think you’ve been working around men and cows too long.”
He laughed, and she smiled, and good sense couldn’t keep him from slipping his hand under her silky hair. He waited to give her time to lean away, to give her time to think, to give her time to accept the idea of him kissing her.
So many thoughts ran through Emily’s mind as Slade looked down at her. So many feelings thumped with each beat of her heart. What was she doing sitting here when she knew what would come next? She’d told herself she should stay away from him, but there was something about Slade that was so compelling, something about his blue eyes that made her want to just float right into them. And there was something about his strength and gentleness that called to a deep place inside of her. A kiss from Slade Coleburn…
He bent his head, and she lifted hers. She was trembling before his breath even whispered over her lips, and then he didn’t do what she expected. Maybe she’d expected some hard, hungry demand. That’s what she’d always gotten from Pete. But this was Slade, and already he’d shown her such gentleness.
First there was the soft nuzzle of his lips beside hers and the feel of his cheek grazing hers. His scent was male and outdoors, and she couldn’t believe the need that gripped her, to have his mouth cover hers. Instead he teased her, first with his lips, then with his tongue, and suddenly she was kissing him as she’d never kissed a man before. Her senses reeled as the sensations of his taste and his touch and his gentleness overwhelmed her. This was a real man. This was a man who knew how to please. This was a man—
This was a man who would be in and out of her life maybe as quickly as a strike of lightning. She pushed away from him, disgusted with herself that she didn’t have her priorities straight. She had children to think of and a ranch to run, and no time for a man who didn’t know the first meaning of the word roots.
Skittering a good six inches away from him, she cleared her throat and tried to compose herself. “That can’t happen again. I don’t know what got into me.”
“Emily…” His voice was husky and deep and vibrated through her with the same resonance as his kiss.
Still flustered, the thoughts in her head came flying out. “I’m a new mother. I shouldn’t even be thinking about…there’s no way I can…”
“Do you think I’d want to take more than a kiss?”
“Yes…no… I don’t know. I don’t know you.”
Slade’s jaw set and his blue eyes lost their warmth. “You don’t know me? After what we’ve been through together? Well, I’ll tell you something about me. I’m a man of my word. And I give you my word that I won’t kiss you again until or unless you ask me to.”
He stood then and as he did, his shirt placket spread farther apart and she could see how thick the dark hair was on his chest, how taut his stomach muscles were. The ripple of excitement that skipped down her spine confused her as much as Slade did.
Before she could come up with an adequate response to his declaration, he said in a clipped tone, “Good night, Emily. If you need me, just pound on the floor again.” With that he strode through the kitchen and down the hall. She heard the sound of his door closing.
Picking up her cup of milk, she stared at it and felt tears prick in her eyes. She didn’t want to need a man, especially not Slade Coleburn.
And hell would freeze over before she asked him to kiss her again.
Chapter Four
The tack slipped through Slade’s fingers as he held the weather stripping against the door frame. Taking another from his pocket, he hammered the stripping in place. When he finished, he glanced at Emily as she slid a casserole into the oven. She’d skittered around the past two days, staying as far from him as she could get, and it was getting frustrating. Just as frustrating as the dead end he’d run into in Billings. He might never find his brother.
Hammering in another tack, he realized he was letting Emily distract him from his search. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten angry and said what he had the other night. Maybe he shouldn’t have kissed her. But, dang it, she’d enjoyed that kiss as much as he had. “Enjoyed” didn’t begin to cover it. It had thrown him for one very big loop. Emily might seem wholesome and ladylike and even quiet, but there was a deep passion inside of her that had lit his until he’d remembered she was a new mother, a recent widow and as she’d pulled away, a woman who didn’t want him to kiss her again. At least that’s what she’d said.
So be it.
From in the living room, the sound of Amanda’s crying began low and increased in volume. Emily glanced at the kitchen clock and he knew what she was thinking. Mark would be home from school in about five minutes, and she was usually there to welcome him at the bus
stop.
“Go ahead and feed her. I’ll go get him,” Slade said.
The volume of Amanda’s crying stayed loud.
“I was hoping she would sleep so I could meet him today,” Emily said with a sigh.
“Maybe on Monday. Don’t worry about it.” After a few moments, he added, “I’ll tell him he can ride with me tomorrow to check the water troughs.” Hammering in a final tack, Slade picked up the one that had fallen. After he laid the hammer and the remaining tacks on the table, he grabbed his hat from the rack and his coat from the hook. “Be back before you know it.”
“Thanks, Slade.”
He was getting tired of her thanks. He’d rather see her smile at him as if she meant it.
When Mark hopped down the step from the bus, he saw Slade and frowned. Hefting his backpack onto his shoulders, he asked, “Where’s Mom? Is she feeding Amanda again?”
Slade thought making light of it might be the best way to handle it. “Your sister does seem to eat an awful lot, doesn’t she?”
Mark gave him a sideways glance.
The boy had been quiet since Emily had come home from the hospital. Much too quiet. But Slade didn’t know what to do about it, or if he should do anything. “How would you like to ride out with me tomorrow and check the cattle?”
“I bet Mom won’t let me. She’ll say it’s too cold.”
“I already asked her.”
But even this didn’t bring a smile from the little boy. He just looked sad as they walked the rest of the way up the road to the house.
Once inside, Mark looked around but didn’t see his mom. “She’s probably upstairs in her room again,” he muttered.
Slade knew why she was and felt at fault where that was concerned. He and Emily were going to have to have a talk or there was going to be more than a little trouble with her son. Slade would bet his boots on it.
Not long after Mark came home, Emily returned downstairs with Amanda and laid her in the cradle in the living room. She tried to talk to her son about his day at school, but Mark’s replies were one syllable and he didn’t seem inclined to talk.
Emily looked concerned as she took greens from the refrigerator to make a salad. “Maybe I’ll have some time tomorrow to make some cookies. Do you want to help?” she asked Mark.
“Slade said I could go out riding with him.”
“Yes, I know, but maybe tomorrow afternoon we could do it.”
Mark’s expression brightened some. “Okay.”
But still the seven-year-old didn’t have much to say during supper. Emily insisted she didn’t need any help cleaning up afterward, so Slade taught the boy what he knew about tying knots that he’d learned from an older man on one of the construction crews. Mark tried several different kinds as Slade ruffled the boy’s hair and told him he’d be an expert before he knew it. This night, unlike the two previous evenings, Amanda was asleep when it was time to put Mark to bed, but Emily had no sooner read him a story and tucked him in when Amanda began crying.
Feeling keenly the demands of both of her children, Emily wished Mark good-night, then went to feed her daughter.
Until she had Amanda settled, a good hour had passed. On her way downstairs she wondered if Slade had turned in, but then she heard the TV.
“Are both of them asleep?” he asked.
Emily paused on her way to the kitchen. “I hope so. I just came down to get a glass of milk, then I’m going to join them.”
“We ought to talk,” he said, switching off the TV with the remote.
“What about?”
Slade pulled his legs in and sat up straighter. When he looked at her, she always felt as if he was asking her questions, but she didn’t know any of the answers. His flannel shirt was open at the neck and the hairs there reminded her of the dark furring on the rest of his chest. If she closed her eyes and thought about it, she could still feel his kiss.
“A couple of things. The other night for one,” he stated.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she told herself as well as him.
“There is if you jump away from me every time I get anywhere close to you.”
“That’s your imagination.”
“I have an imagination, and I also have twenty-twenty vision. It has nothing to do with my imagination.”
She was too tired to have this discussion now. She felt as if she hadn’t slept in a week. Just making meals and feeding Amanda and doing laundry seemed to exhaust her. “I’m just feeling a little…awkward. That’s all. I’m not used to having a man around.”
“You had a husband around, didn’t you?”
“That’s different. You’re a stranger, Slade.”
“Not quite.”
They were both remembering the night in the van when he delivered her baby. They were both remembering a brush of lips on lips and then a kiss that had shaken her to her very core. She turned toward the staircase. “I’m going to bed.”
But he was on his feet and catching her arm before she managed the first step.
Just then Amanda began crying again and Emily sighed. “Slade, I promise we’ll talk tomorrow. All right?”
His blue gaze kept her immobilized for a few long seconds and then he nodded. “All right.”
As he released her arm and she mounted the stairs, she knew it was a conversation she couldn’t escape. She knew he would say his piece, even if she didn’t want to hear it.
The following morning, Slade and Mark rode out, and along with caring for Amanda, Emily tackled a stack of chores. She had every intention of spending the afternoon with Mark, but after lunch, her neighbor, who had just heard about the baby’s birth, called and asked if she could visit the next day after church. Mavis O’Neill was a talkative woman and before Emily knew it, another half hour had slipped by. She was taking ingredients from the pantry for a batch of oatmeal cookies, when Amanda began crying. Emily took her daughter to the bedroom to feed her, and Amanda decided her fussy time was now. The afternoon vanished and although Mark didn’t say anything, he was silent throughout supper.
Emily said cheerfully, “We can make the cookies after supper.”
Mark kept his eyes on his plate. “Slade’s going to show me card tricks after supper.”
“Oh, I see. Well, how about tomorrow afternoon?”
“I thought you said Mr. and Mrs. O’Neill were coming over.”
Emily sighed. “Tomorrow evening, then.”
“Whatever,” Mark said with a shrug that told her better than words that he didn’t think it would happen. Emily felt guilty and sad and not at all sure what to do next. About Mark or Slade.
When she put Mark to bed that night, her son wouldn’t meet her gaze.
“Mark, before Amanda was born, we talked about you having a baby sister. I know it seems as if I have to take care of her a lot, but I promise you we’ll spend some time together tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry about it. I got Slade.”
That idea did worry her. “Honey, I don’t know how long Slade’s going to stay. He’s only passing through.”
Mark’s expression told her he didn’t like that idea at all. “He’ll stay if we ask him to.”
“He has concerns in Billings that have nothing to do with us. He’s searching for a brother he never knew, and that search could take him far away from here.”
Mark still avoided her eyes as he slid into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. “Good night, Mom.”
“Mark, you know if there’s anything you want to talk about…”
He shook his head.
Emily knew from past experience with her son that he’d open up on his terms…when he was ready. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about any of it now. She’d just have to try again tomorrow.
Leaning close she gave him a long hug, said, “I love you,” then released him.
But Mark didn’t reply.
Tenderly she brushed his wavy hair across his forehead. At the doorway she stopped. “Good night.”<
br />
After he mumbled “G’night,” he turned on his side away from her, and she closed his door.
By the time Emily took a quick shower, it was time to feed her daughter. She was sitting in the rocker, humming to Amanda but thinking about Mark when there was a sharp rap on the door. She didn’t have time to cover herself before it opened.
“Emily, we’ve got to talk. Mark just came downstairs and asked me—” The thrust of Slade’s words stopped abruptly as he stared at her with her daughter at her breast.
Their gazes locked, and Emily saw something so powerful in Slade’s eyes it scared her. It was a mixture of longing and desire and something entirely foreign to her. She quickly looked around to see if there was anything she could cover herself with, but found nothing.
Seeing her discomfort, Slade crossed to the crib, lifted a blanket and handed it to her. She hastily threw it to her shoulder, covering her breast and the baby.
“All right. It’s finally happened,” he said. “I saw you. Emily, women have been feeding their children in public since the dawn of time. Why do you have to come up here and hide every time you do it?”
She didn’t understand the frustration and anger behind his tone. “You’ve no right to tell me how to take care of my daughter.”
“You may be taking care of your daughter, but you’re not taking care of your son. He just came downstairs and asked me how long I was staying. When I told him again I don’t know, he ran back up here and now he won’t talk to me.”
Emily knew Mark was hurting. And it looked as if this time maybe she shouldn’t wait for him to talk. Rather, she’d have to force the issue. Getting back on her feet, caring for a newborn, wanting to make time for her son but not knowing how, seeing the sparks of desire in Slade’s eyes and fearing her growing feelings for him, all made tears well up. She tried to blink them away, but one rolled down her cheek.
When she swiped at it, Slade’s expression softened and he crouched down in front of her. “Oh, Emily, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. After you’re finished here, we’ll talk. All right?”
Just the Man She Needed Page 5
