by Linda Daly
Realizing he must have come into her room while she slept, her smile faded. Bringing her quilt closer to her chest, her heart pounded as she looked about her room with uncertainty.
Ten
Built on Lies
Hours before the school was to begin, Miranda walked through the wrought-iron gate leading to the courtyard to find Felicity sitting at her favorite spot on a bench by the massive oak tree. Hearing the familiar squeaking of the gate, Felicity turned and smiled, gesturing Miranda to join her.
“I was hoping you would come early today. Come sit and tell me what made you decide to go with Tad to the theatre,” she said enthusiastically.
“Oh dear, I had forgotten about that …” Miranda said, while joining her friend. “After last evening, I’m sure that will have to be postponed.”
Confused, Felicity asked, “Postponed? But why, for goodness sakes? We only left you a few hours ago …”
“A lot has happened since I saw you last evening,” explained Miranda, shaking her head. “Let me fill you in …”
For the next several minutes, Felicity shook her head hearing the events as they unfolded at the Honeycutt’s in the wee hours of the morning, even including how she had relived her own painful childhood. Omitting the affair between her father and his former slave, Miranda spoke of the loneliness she had felt as a child and admitted she had been fearful of loving another. Explaining that witnessing her own parents’ turbulent relationship had indeed scared her.
“Dear, you certainly all did have an evening, didn’t you. I don’t know what to say. I feel so sorry for Tad of course, but my heart goes out to Michael too. I can’t imagine how he endured hearing his son’s pain, which he caused, and then after reaching out to him, being pushed away like that must have been unbearable. Not that I blame Tad of course, obviously his resentment is deep … Ah, and poor Sarah, how dreadful for her to see her husband in such pain …”
It was clear from Felicity’s tone that she felt immense sorrow for them all.
“I shall include them, and you, dear friend in my prayers. But tell me, this morning after discovering that Tad had cut you flowers and had been in your bedchamber, did you see him personally?”
“No, in fact, I avoided the dining room all together, coming directly here after I woke.”
“What do you think about the flowers?” Felicity asked, cautiously.
Before answering, Miranda thought for a moment then a smile crossed her lips. “In truth that was the dearest thing any man has ever done for me. However, after it dawned on me that he had actually entered my room, well of course I became apprehensive. It is rather presumptuous of him to think that he could take such liberties by coming into my room, simply because of the kindness I showed him …”
Pausing for a moment and looking puzzled, she added. “Come to think of it, I could almost swear I locked the door after returning from attending his wounds.” Shaking her head as dismissing it, Miranda smiled wearily. “Obviously not, since he was able to enter. My, I must have been extremely tired if I didn’t even hear him.” She added nervously.
Recalling her friend’s concerns from yesterday regarding Tad’s peculiar behavior, Felicity nodded politely, feeling equally apprehensive about Tad entering Miranda’s private bedchamber.
Rather than address her concerns openly, in the event she was over reacting, Felicity asked, “So you say Tad sustained his cuts and bruises by our iceman, Mr. O’Flaherty? How odd? I would think those two men would have so little in common. Did you say how it was that Tad met up with him?”
“No. I didn’t say. In fact, when Tad told me that it was Gilbert he had fought with, for a moment I wondered if Tad had deliberately gone looking for him. Feeling ashamed for doubting him again, I dismissed such thoughts. Do you think Felicity, that Tad provoked this altercation with Mr. O’Flaherty?” Miranda’s voice expressed her concern.
“I couldn’t say …” Felicity paused, hearing the sound of footsteps approaching. She nodded to Miranda, and whispered, “But perhaps he might.”
Puzzled by her comment, she frowned seeing Gilbert O’Flaherty approaching. Without hesitation, Miranda swiftly crossed the play-yard calling his name.
“Oh Mr. O’Flaherty, could I please have a word with you?”
Seeing Miranda, Gilbert sighed, giving her a disgusted look and kept walking.
Angered by such rudeness, Miranda said firmly, “Mr. O’Flaherty, I know you can hear me.”
“Saints be praised. Haven’t I had enough grief by you and that suitor of yours? Do ya want me to be fired from me job too?”
“First off, Mr. Honeycutt is not my suitor, and …”
Shaking his head in disgust, he started to walk past her mumbling under his breath, “Like I should expect anything differently from your kind. I heard you call him dear with my own ears.”
Outraged by his comment, Miranda raised her voice. “How dare you speak to me in that manner. If you can’t even tell the difference between a question and a term of endearment, then it’s obvious that it is you who is daft, as you so eloquently insinuated I was yesterday. All this leads me to believe that you attacked such a fine gentleman as Mr. Honeycutt for no good reason, just as he said.” Flushed from losing her temper, not expecting a reply, she began to turn around.
“Honeycutt is no gentleman any more than I am. He may be well educated with means, but he has no honor. And if’n you think he is, then the two of ya are daft a far sight more than you think I am!” he spouted indignantly.
Trying to hold back the urge to argue further with this ghastly, meanspirited man, she calmly replied, “Mr. O’Flaherty, I did not ask to speak with you to hurl insults at one another. I was merely trying to understand why it was necessary for you and Mr. Honeycutt to come to blows last evening.”
“That is of no concern of yours. Why not ask that so-called gentleman friend of yours?”
Every instinct in her screamed to leave, but instead she said, “Obviously I have. Otherwise, how would I know it was you that attacked him? What I don’t understand is why you would feel the need to attack someone simply out of some absurd jealousy.”
Hearing that, Gilbert chuckled sarcastically, his green eyes conveying his sarcasm. “It’s not I who am daft, but you and the rest of Honeycutt’s loyal subjects believing such malarkey.”
“Then you aren’t denying the fact that you attacked Mr. Honeycutt, just the reasons why he gave me. Is that right Mr. O’Flaherty?” she asked solemnly, ignoring his hurtful comments once more.
“Damned right! And like I said last night to him and those worthless subjects of his, if I ever see him again I’ll finish what I started. You can tell him I said so too!”
Miranda gasped at his threat, and looked at this man she now considered evil, rather than just angry. “Mr. O’Flaherty, I have a good mind to notify the constable about your threats against Mr. Honeycutt.”
“Oh please do! I welcome the chance to divulge what an upright and decent citizen Honeycutt is.” His grimace sent immediate shivers through her.
Not waiting for her reply, Gilbert walked back to the kitchen leaving Miranda stunned, shaken to her very core. As she walked back to Felicity, her mind whirled in confusion. What did Tad do to him that was so awful he wanted revenge and didn’t care who knew it?
“Well, what did he say? Did he admit to attacking Tad last night?”
Nodding her head in disbelief, she said, “Yes. But apparently it had nothing to do with me.”
“Really? Then why?” Felicity frowned at her friend who was pale as a sheet.
Shaking her head, Miranda whispered, “He didn’t say … only that he wasn’t through with Tad.”
“Oh dear! You mean he threatened Tad? Perhaps you should notify the authorities?”
“No!” she added hastily. “Evidently Gilbert wants that.”
Felicity gasped and watched as Gilbert made his way back to the street where his cart was parked. Once Gilbert had left, Miranda looked at Felicity
. “Promise me you’ll not breathe a word of this to anyone until I’ve had a chance to discuss this with Tad?”
“I promise. But do you think that is wise Miranda?”
“What other choice do I have … ?” Her voice trailed off, remembering the hate in Gilbert’s eyes.
Later that afternoon, after Miranda had returned to the Honeycutt’s and had changed for dinner, she went to the gardens to try to make some sense of everything that had happened. As she stood smelling the sweet scents of the lilacs, her confusion and anger increased and suddenly the flowers had lost their appeal, especially since they now reminded her of Tad.
She knew that what she had overheard between Tad and Michael was real, and when he thanked her, it came from his heart. Yet, she also knew from speaking with Gilbert that the fight he had been in had nothing to do with her as Tad had said. Suddenly, as she chastised herself into believing any man could be honest, tears stung her eyes and her heart began to harden again.
“I knew I’d find you here.” Tad said walking up behind her.
Before turning, Miranda hastily wiped her eyes and tried to smile. “Hello, Tad. How are you this evening?”
“Fine, but I can tell you didn’t appreciate my gift of gratitude.”
“Oh no? The lilacs were lovely. Thank you. But that wasn’t necessary.”
Interrupting her, he asked, “Miranda, what’s wrong? After last night I thought we had finally broken down our barriers. Yet today I feel you’re as distant from me as ever. Have I done something to upset you?”
“No. Not at all.” She lied, pasting a smile across her lips. “I have a lot on my mind is all.”
“I see. After taking your advice, I had a long talk with my father this afternoon.” From the look on his face, Miranda knew he expected her to respond.
Sincerely, she said, “Oh Tad, I’m so happy for you both.” Hesitating to ask him more, not wanting to interfere in his private affairs, she waited, hoping he would volunteer more information.
“Of course nothing can be resolved in a day, but at least we’re talking so hopefully in time …”
Looking up at him, she truly felt his sincerity, but after what Gilbert had said, she doubted her own abilities at reading him any longer. Smiling she said, “You’re lucky to have that time, Tad.”
Frowning slightly, he said, “Miranda, I know you said I’ve done nothing to offend you, yet I can’t help but feel you’re holding back from me. Are you upset that I came into your room last evening?”
“No … well perhaps a little. As much as I enjoyed the lilacs, I must say it was a bit unnerving to know you were watching me.”
“Actually, I saw more of you while you were in my room than nestled under the coverlets, if that eases your mind any.” His eyes danced merrily, which caused her cheeks to burn like fire and she turned her head.
“Oh please don’t be embarrassed. Last night was perhaps one of the most memorable events of my life. I shall always cherish it.”
Hesitantly, she returned his look. Their eyes locked, and she was swept away by such truth she witnessed. “Please Tad, can we change the subject?” she asked, whispering shyly.
“Yes of course. What shall we discuss then?”
Just then Gilbert—delivering ice—hearing them, stood off to the side of the fenced yard, able to hear their every word.
“Well actually, I was hoping you would tell me the real reason for your fight last evening. I ask only because I saw Mr. O’Flaherty this morning.” Immediately she detected Tad’s mood change from warmth to that of contempt.
“Oh really? And you would question me over the likes of him?” There was no denying it—his eyes darted daggers as spiteful as his tongue.
“No. In fact, he admitted he did attack you. Yet, I had the distinct impression, not for the reasons you gave. In fact, the whole incident left me shaken rather badly. Tad, he worried me by threatening that he wasn’t through with you yet. What does he mean by that? Should you go to the authorities?”
Tad was clearly agitated, and said, “No. I can deal with his kind.”
“Oh please, Tad, talk to me. I’m so confused and frightened over this whole affair. I want to believe what you said last evening, you have no idea how much … but with him acting like he did this morning …”
Seeing that she was trembling, he took her hand in his, softly saying, “Miranda, come sit with me and I’ll try to explain everything.” Nodding, she followed him to a bench nestled between evergreens. Taking a seat, he began. “What I’m about to tell you I’m not proud of …”
“Please Tad, I have no right to judge you or anyone for that matter. Just please be honest with me.”
He gave her a small smile as he began. “For quite sometime now, as you probably have noticed, most evenings following dinner I go out. Where I go has been to a pub to gamble with friends.”
Tad explained in detail the friends he gambled with and how he came to meet Gilbert O’Flaherty. Listening intently to him, she related to Tad’s desire to rebel against his father by choosing a lifestyle he knew Michael despised, as Miranda had rebelled against Lucas by helping runners. As he spoke candidly of his second life, her trust for him increased. Tad was forthright in explaining the only harm he had caused was to himself and Michael’s bankroll. That was, until O’Flaherty, who had been winning regularly, had insulted Tad’s pride and intelligence. Tad explained that for weeks he had suspected that Gilbert had been cheating, yet could never prove it. He then reminded Miranda of the agitated state Gilbert had been in when she had observed them speaking with one another, telling her that he had in fact hinted of his suspicions to Gilbert yesterday after he had refused Tad an opportunity to win back some of his money.
Suddenly the story Tad was telling made sense. Especially as Tad spoke about Gilbert’s pride being injured further when he tried to warn Miranda of his kind. This was something Miranda understood as well, recalling how her half-brother Joseph, the son of such a powerful and important man never could claim his inheritance or position in society, forced to remain a slave.
As Tad relived his version of what had happened at the pub, Miranda found herself believing every word this man—gifted in persuasion—spoke, even as he twisted the truth, placing the blame on Gilbert. To assure his tale was convincing, Tad included how Gilbert duped him as ‘his lordship’ and Tad’s friends as his ‘loyal subjects’. If Miranda hadn’t been convinced of Tad’s sincerity before, recalling Gilbert had made such a reference himself this morning, only added validity to his tale.
“Ah, now I see why you said the fight had something to do with me. The truth is Mr. O’Flaherty has no interest in me, as a matter of fact I honestly thinks he dislikes …”
Tad stopped her as she continued, by taking her hand in his. “No matter what that low-life has said, please take it from someone who knows what it feels like to desire someone from afar, and know he is unworthy of her heart. I’ve been in his shoes for three years.”
Such an intimate referral to how he felt, caused Miranda to blush and look away. Tenderly, Tad placed his finger on the side of her chin and guided her face back to him.
“Miranda, I say this not to embarrass you, or in hopes to win your heart, but to explain that I understand O’Flaherty in part. As so many Irish, they come here to America in hopes of a new life. After generations of suppression, being forced to make a living as a sharecropper and hearing tales of America as the land of opportunity, with its streets lined with gold for the taking, they come here primarily to reclaim their manhood. What a disappointment it must be for them to discover that the opportunities are rare to immigrants. And even harder to accept that men of means, who they despise immediately out of jealousy, also have women they can only dream of. And Miranda, you are such a woman—beautiful, kind-hearted and gentle natured. Is it any wonder that man’s pride was insulted when I dismissed him so abruptly yesterday? However, if he or any other man with such a lack of integrity tried to speak with you again, I would not
hesitate in doing the same, feeling as I do for you.”
Never had a man spoken to her with such tenderness and Miranda’s heart leapt for joy as her pulse increased. As if she were in a dream, he leaned closer, and feeling his breath on her face, she eagerly accepted his advancement. Feeling no resistance, Tad parted her lips with his tongue as he slipped his hand around her waist to draw her, trembling, closer to him.
As the urgency of their kiss increased, Miranda gave in to her desires and guided her hand around the nape of his neck, never experiencing such pleasure from a man’s touch before. Then suddenly hearing herself moan, she jerked away recalling Elmira’s moan of pleasure as her father and she had indulged in such pleasures.
Shaken to her very core, Miranda stood, turning from Tad and whispered, “I’m sorry …”
Going to her, he whispered, “It’s I who should apologize, for taking advantage of you.”
Miranda, with tears streaming down her cheeks, shook her head. “You didn’t take advantage of me Tad. I wanted this to happen just as much as you. It’s just …”
Gently, Tad turned her to him with concern in his eyes. “Oh please don’t cry, Miranda dear. Whatever has hurt you in the past must be deep, if a kiss makes you tremble. Will you tell me what it is? You know everything about me, and I know so little of you, except that I’m hopelessly in love with you and have been for quite sometime.”
Hearing such words, her heart raced and more tears flowed. “Tad, please don’t say such things … There’s so much of my past you know nothing of. Things that I’ve done, I will have to live with until the day I die.”
He held her close to him, and whispered, “And one day I hope you will trust me enough to share what it is that has caused you such pain. For now I won’t press you to share the demons that torture you. Just please don’t push me away, especially when we need one another so desperately.”
Hearing him say he needed her, Miranda suddenly felt safe in his arms, and she knew what he said was true—they did need one another. Lifting her head, she nodded as his lips found hers again. This time she didn’t pull away from the desires stirring inside her, but welcomed the comfort she felt in his arms.
