by Jaime Marks
He grunted but didn’t really know what else to say to that. Cymeryn acted like there was so much more to him and in a way he was right. He hid a lot of his emotions and strategies to cover his own ass. At the same time, aside from always having to work some damned angle and hiding his weaknesses, everything else was pretty much face value.
Taking a moment to rein in the pain of her loss he let his mind drift to his Mom. He could still see her smile, feel the warmth she filled him with. God it had been so long and the pain was still a dull ache that had carved out an empty hollow that made him feel worthless. She was the only one who ever really understood him.
He’d never really liked his Father. Syneous was an ass and he hurt his Mom every time he visited, but he had never really felt hate in his life. Mom had taught him love and patience, forgiveness. She always wanted him to see the beauty in life and when he got mad she’d taught him temperance and understanding. No, hate was something he’d never understood growing up. Even with the pain of the beatings and the fear he sometimes lived in, it had never been something he’d ever experienced…until the day she died. The night that Syneous had killed her, the pain and misery that had ripped through him as they made him watch, that was the moment hate found its way into his heart; and it had never left.
He took a breath trying to figure out what Cymeryn was looking for. He wasn’t even sure what to tell him. It wasn’t like Kyle wanted to have a heart to heart over his Mother’s death. He spent most of his days trying to leave it behind him. “I didn’t meet Syneous, well Sean, until I was four or five. He started dropping by whenever the hell he wanted and he treated Mom like she was a slave. She tried to take off with me once but the punishment was extreme and after that we just made the best of a bad situation. He never really stayed long anyway and when I was eight or nine he just disappeared. It had been so long since we saw him that I actually thought he might’ve been dead. Mom moved on, met some guy, Brad.” He shrugged, “Things were good for two years and then he came back. He killed her and the human she’d mated in front of me and took me with him.”
“I am sorry. I know it was difficult. Did you ever meet any of her family? Did she ever speak of them, or the Fae for that matter?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think she knew of the Fae. If she did she never said so, but she knew what Sean was, even though he hadn’t awakened. She wasn’t surprised when Shade came with him either so she obviously knew more about their world than she ever told me. I think she could see essence but I was never really sure. She never talked about any family or her past. As far as I know both of her parents were dead before I was born and she didn’t have any brothers or sisters that she knew of.”
He tried to think of anything else the King of Night might want to know. “I don’t know how she met Sean or if the cabin we lived in was originally her parents or what. Thinking back on it though, I think Sean put her there. It was isolated, far enough away from everything that no one would hear her scream. We didn’t have electricity.” He sighed as he considered it. “It was a lot like the rest of their holdings where they temporarily house slaves but I’ve never seen the keep anyone that long term. If they bear young they’re always moved to the group homes. For some reason Mom was an exception but I think that had more to do with Syneous’ preferences because Phil’s still with his Mom, too.”
“It is possible that she was attempting to protect any relatives she may have been aware of from getting involved in her situation,” Cymeryn mused. “If you would allow it, there is a Fae of the Forests that I would like to have attempt to access your lineage. He may not be able to determine more than we already know as he had not picked up on your Father’s link to Alayne either, but there is none other I trust in this more than Kato a Kacyion. He is the most gifted of his ilk.”
“I’ll consider it. I honestly doubt there’s anything to know and I’m not exactly fond of letting Fae mess around my head.” Or anyone else for that matter. The last thing he needed was some idiot to open the wrong door and let out all his tightly reined emotions tumble out.
“I will introduce you and allow you to decide when you are ready. While it may seem like it for the moment, you are not a prisoner here and I will not force this on you, Kyle. If I thought it would not cause issue I would allow you to roam free with merely an escort but I must take the Lady Stephynia’s comfort into account as well as your own safety. It is still not clear if there will be another attack and I would like to know where you are in the event that Alayne breaches our defenses again,” Cymeryn explained as he rose studying him.
Steph…god the last thing he wanted was to make things harder on her. He’d done enough already. With a sigh he nodded, “I get it. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable either but as far as my safety, Alayne and my Father shouldn’t be an issue. If Lazurys pulled Alayne back you should be fine for a little while at least. It means he was wounded enough that the Dark Lord needed to tend to him. He doesn’t heal like regular Shade anymore. I don’t really understand it but if the wound is too substantial he’s usually in the Dark Domain for few weeks while Lazurys repairs the damage.” Rubbing the back of his neck the slightest twinge of guilt haunted him as he continued. In essence he had betrayed the closest thing to a friend that he’d ever had but his sister came first. “John is who you should worry about. I know he had a backup plan. I might have fucked that up by outing him though. We hadn’t had a chance to talk about what happened if we were captured but John always has a way out.”
“We saw to him this morning. There was an incident last eve after the attack. He managed to make his way to Steph but she was able to summon us. He will not be able to escape his restraints or the cell he is in without assistance,” Cymeryn waved dismissively.
“Is she alright?” Kyle knew Steph was done with John. She had been for a while. He might have still been able to hold some minor control over her and seduce her on occasion but if she had found her mate? Until John could awaken and his blood thickened, any binding he’d performed would pale in comparison to that bond.
“She was minorly wounded but easily healed,” he explained. “She will be fine and we have since dealt with John thoroughly.”
He didn’t doubt that. Cymeryn could be ruthless when crossed and he’d already made it clear he considered Steph one of his own. In the past if you fucked with the Shade’s direct line you pretty much knew your death warrant was signed in the most painful way possible. They might want him to believe the male was a kinder gentler Cymeryn but he’d seen him. Hell his jaw still hurt from the backhand he’d delivered when he’d thought he was after Star.
Changing the subject the male suddenly focused on him intensely. “The next two days will be busy. Unfortunately I will not have much time to come see you. There is a banquet this eve and I am completing the Bonding Rituals with Staryana’s Mother tomorrow eve. I am uncertain of how Byryn will feel about it, but he and Staryana will also be performing the rituals. I will talk to both he and your sister regarding your attendance but it is a delicate situation as Steph is Staryana’s best friend and she will be in assisting in the ceremonies.”
“They’re preforming the Bonding? Tomorrow?” He gaped as he tried to get a handle on the sudden surge of rage and distrust. “Cymeryn, you can’t seriously mean to allow that to happen! I need to talk to her first. Please.”
Resting a hand on his shoulder Cymeryn let his essence flow through him in an attempt to keep him calm. It was something he did a lot when they talked. Every time he did he felt this odd connection but it wasn’t really a reassurance right now. “I know this is difficult for you to accept, but your sister loves Byryn very much. They are bound by Divine will and he is not the monster you believe any more than you are the manipulative, depraved snake that he believes. You have been pitted against each other and in this have learned to hate one another. In time you will both learn you are wrong and find some accord as you both have one thing very much in common.”
“Yeah, what
the hell is that?”
He smiled slightly, “You both love Staryana. I will let you know what they decide and come to see how you are sometime tomorrow. If not I, then Marcus.”
“As you wish, my lord,” he ground out not really sure what to make of all this.
“I know it is hard for you to simply trust what I say, Kyle, but there is a part of you that knows I speak the truth.”
He stood staring at the spot the male misted from trying to sort through everything. He knew he should probably try to get the hell out of here and get to his sister himself but for some strange, messed up reason he actually wanted to believe Cymeryn. Why though? Why the hell did he trust him so damned much? He had more questions than answers. Right now he just wanted to get some rest and hope that it somehow miraculously made sense once he could think clearly. He had until tomorrow to figure out what he needed to do and say in order to talk to his sister.
If this was really what she wanted, he meant it, he’d step back and let her make her own choices, but if anyone was forcing her into this then he needed to know so he could help her. He wanted to trust them, he did, but until he heard it from Star himself he wasn’t sure if he could buy into all of this.
Star sat on the bed giggling with Steph. They hadn’t really had the time to relax and just hang out like this since she’d gotten here and in a lot of ways it was exactly what she needed; probably what they both needed. It seemed like there was always some crisis or event that took priority in their lives. It was nonstop and sometimes it was just too much but from what she could tell that wasn’t gonna change anytime soon.
She’d been feeling some sort of current flow through her since her awakening that she didn’t really understand and it was starting to bother her. It wasn’t really the Darkness per se, it was more like a power, a strength that she didn’t know how to harness or control. In the dungeon earlier she’d given it free reign and it felt good…too good. If it was a sign of things to come she was in trouble. What bothered her more was that she’d tried to talk to Byryn about it but the words just never seemed to be there. It was like she literally couldn’t talk about it but she couldn’t figure out why.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Steph commented noticing her distraction.
She shrugged trying to figure out what she wanted to say and what she’d be able to say. It was almost like the words she wanted just wouldn’t form on her lips. It was freaking confusing. “How do you manage it? All that power you have locked inside of you without letting it…I don’t know go to your head. I mean, I’ve had two months to prepare and I struggle with it like crazy. This is pretty sudden for you.”
Steph sighed and stood up walking to the mirror as if she was checking her makeup. She wasn’t, Star knew her well enough to know she just didn’t want to face her. “It’s not easy. I guess for me it’s that I really don’t want to lose myself, especially now. My whole life I’ve had to fight to make my own decisions because the ones being made for me weren’t doing anything but locking me down in this lonely, empty place. I just kept searching for something, ya know?” She shook her head. “It wasn’t really until I met you that I knew there was definitely more to life but even before that I just kind of knew that there was more out there somewhere. I knew that I needed to find it but I had no idea how.”
Star nodded. “Makes sense.” She’d been feeling something similar the last few years…like something was missing. If she were honest part of the reason that she’d avoided Byryn so much in school was that when their eyes locked it was like she felt complete for that brief moment, like he held all the answers, and it scared the crap out of her.
There was a loud crash next door and a couple expletives along with something about hair echoed through the wall a moment. They glanced at each other.
“That’s Felycia’s room,” Star explained noting Steph’s defensive stance and glowing, golden eyes. “She’s probably just having a hard time. Why don’t we go see if we can help her? She might just tell us to go to hell but I don’t think she’s ever had to get dressed up or ready for anything like this. I know she’s never been on an actual date before.”
Steph visibly calmed, the Light fading from her eyes as she nodded. “I don’t know much about her but I sensed her this morning. She needs a friend and in a bad way. It’s gonna be hard for her to adjust to all this.”
“I know. Byryn’s afraid that she’s going to take off the first chance she gets. He’s pretty sure that she only accepted Devyn’s invitation out of instinct.” She shrugged, “You saw them this morning.”
Steph smiled with a faint blush on her cheeks. “Yeah it kind of reminded me of the first time I met your uncle.”
She laughed as they made their way out to the hall, down to her door, and knocked. The room went dead silent as if Felycia was hiding or waiting for someone to say something. Then again she probably wasn’t really used to having visitors. Star knew Grifyn and Byryn checked on her regularly but they generally let her know to expect them ahead of time.
“Hey, Felycia, it’s Star and Steph. I know you don’t like company but…we wanted to see if you were alright? Or if maybe you needed help getting ready for tonight?” She offered tentatively.
Silence. Star sighed, not really surprised that she’d gotten no answer but she was really hoping to get to know Felycia better. Byryn might downplay the situation but his sister meant everything to him and she could feel that bond so strongly that she felt a need to connect with her in some way. It was the same with Trycen and now Wycelion though she hadn’t even had the chance to talk to him outside of their brief introduction. It was weird to her but it was like they were part of her now. She knew the others were all estranged from Felycia but she’d kind of hoped that maybe since she was a girl and they didn’t have a history she’d hopefully accept her friendship. May be in time.
Just as she was about the turn around the door popped open. Felycia glanced down the hall, pulled them both inside, and slammed the door behind them. She stood there literally shaking in her slip, a couple inches taller than she had been. Her hair was a lot longer than the short bob she’d worn it in earlier. It rested just below her shoulders in gentle waves when it had been cut up to her ears before. It hadn’t lightened entirely as she would have expected. Her hair had appeared to be a jet black before but when the Light hit it you could tell it was almost a deep purple. Now Felycia’s hair was a softer, natural black but it was streaked in soft violets, light blues and silvers. Really it looked amazing but it was all knotted and tangled. Her now Gray eyes held specs of silver and unshed tears. She was beautiful but looked to be on the verge of a panic.
Looking between them in confusion, frustration and perhaps even a bit of fear the words rolled out of her in a rush. “I can’t do this! I don’t know the first thing about all this shit. I can’t even get that dress back on. You need to tell them I can’t go tonight because, hell! I don’t even know what I was thinking. I mean, look at me! Does it look like I know how to do any of this shit? And to top it off I agreed to let Devyn take me to this thing. What the fuck is wrong with my head? I don’t do shit like this! I don’t spend time with guys! I don’t even know how to manage my frickin’ hair! That’s why I always kept it short and it grew out, in like, a few hours! What the hell! That doesn’t even look like me in the mirror! Oh my go-…”
“Felycia!” Star grabbed her by the shoulders cutting her off and letting her Gray essence flow through her. “Breathe. It’s alright, I promise this is no big deal.”
Steph nodded. “Yeah, we’ll help you get ready. Seriously, we can teach you all this in a few minutes.”
Glancing between them she looked so vulnerable and unsure of well, everything. Byryn was right, she was seriously raw right now. The awakening had left her emotionally open and unguarded and it was so far from what she was used to that the girl was literally on the edge of a breakdown.
“But why? Why would you even want to? What’s in it for either of you?” She demanded hers
eyes scanning them distrustfully.
Star sighed looking for the right words as she guided her to the bed and released her arms with a small smile. “Hopefully, your friendship? Besides, like it or not we’re family and this is what family does.”
Felycia’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t know if I can trust that. Family that is.”
What could she say to that? It wasn’t as if she didn’t know the hell her Father and brothers had put her through. She’d seen everything in Byryn’s mind. It was hard enough for her to handle his role in all that, even if he didn’t have a choice, but she couldn’t even begin to imagine how Felycia felt. Now they were asking her to take a chance and let them be her family…but family was a curse to her. Was there even a way they could prove to her that she could trust them?
Steph gave Felycia an apologetic smile as she released a breath. “I know that feeling. Family never really meant much too me growing up. It sure as hell wasn’t something you could rely on so I’m still getting used to using that word too. What do you say we make it easier? Just consider us friends for now. Or at the very least people who want to help if you can’t handle that. The rest you can decide whether or not to accept as time goes on.” She shrugged, “Who knows? All this might surprise you and you might actually find out it’s not so bad. I did.”
Thank god for Steph, Star thought feeling slightly relieved. This wasn’t something she really knew how to handle. “She’s right. We don’t expect anything from you, Felycia. We just want to help.”
“I don’t really have a choice. Devyn will be here in a little while to ‘escort’ me to this banquet and I’m nowhere near ready,” she huffed shaking her head as she made finger quotes. The doubt and confusion Felycia felt was written clearly on her face. “I don’t even know where to start now. It’s all so freaking overwhelming. The most complicated outfit I ever wore was a nice pull over blouse and a pair of jeans. That thing…” She point to the bundle of fabric on the floor, “has so many twists and turns it’s like navigating a maze.”
