“My back has been hurting since yesterday,” Amanda shared.
“Mmm, hmm,” Dee nodded. “The doctor will be along shortly. You try to rest while you can.”
The woman left them alone and Amanda looked around; she felt completely unprepared for what lay ahead.
“You okay, Mandy?” Jenny pulled a chair close and took Amanda’s hand.
“I’m scared,” Amanda admitted, “and I want Cade,” she started crying.
“I know, sweetheart; I know,” Jenny pushed Amanda’s hair back from her face.
“You alright dear?” another nurse entered the room and began adjusting equipment and checking read outs from the machine beside the bed. Amanda groaned as another contraction hit her. The nurse watched the monitor.
“That one was strong,” she noted. “Hang in there, dear,” the woman patted Amanda’s shoulder.
Amanda, tears still trickling down her cheek, laid her head back.
“I’m sorry, Mandy,” Jenny offered.
Several minutes later Amanda was sobbing as another contraction seized her. The door opened and Naomi entered and moved to stand by Amanda.
“Look at me, Mandy; focus,” Naomi ordered. Amanda blinked against her tears and looked at her aunt. “That’s better; quit fighting and ride it out, it’s easing now, feel it?” Naomi asked.
Amanda nodded.
“Buck up, Mandy; you have a baby to deliver. I’m going to stay right here with you and together, we Jennings women are going to show them how it’s done, okay?” Naomi’s blue eyes were steely with determination.
Amanda swallowed and nodded; who was this woman was who looked like her aunt but sounded nothing like her?
_____________________________________
Amanda stared down at her daughter in amazement. Two brilliant blue eyes blinked up at Amanda blearily. A tiny pert nose sat above lips that at moment were stretched open in a yawn. Amanda smiled as she smoothed her daughter’s thick head of black hair.
“She’s so beautiful, Mandy!” Jenny leaned over the bed staring at the squirming bundle.
“She is,” Amanda said proudly. “She’s amazing.”
“All her toes and fingers there?” Trent wanted to know.
“Yes!” Amanda and Jenny chorused. Jenny had watched Amanda check her daughter over just after delivery.
“She is pretty isn’t she?” Trent was smiling down at his niece, his expression showing that he was already smitten.
“How’s dad?” Amanda asked of her brother.
“He was trying to ask the same about you. I assured him you were fine. He’s doing fine for the moment,” Trent explained. Naomi had gone to relieve Trent so he could see the baby and was staying with Sterling for a while. There was a knock on the door and Jenny stood to answer it.
“Hi,” Kevin greeted.
“Hi, come see my daughter,” Amanda invited proudly.
“Oh, Mandy, she’s beautiful,” he assured her with a smile.
“Isn’t she?” Amanda kissed her daughter’s forehead.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I knew you didn’t look so hot earlier,” Kevin teased.
“I thought I had just over done it the last few days,” Amanda admitted.
“You probably had,” Jenny spoke.
“How much did she weigh?” Kevin inquired.
“Six pounds, eleven ounces but she’s twenty-two and half inches long!” Amanda, her eyes bright, shared.
“She’s going to be tall and slender like you,” Jenny predicted.
“And her daddy,” Amanda commented and watched her brother frown. She wished she could get up and pop him; he might wish to forget that her child had a father; but the fact was she did.
“So what’s her name?” Kevin wanted to know.
“Cadey-Lynn,” Amanda shared and spelled it for him.
“Cadey-Lynn Jennings,” that’s pretty.
“Cadey-Lynn Winston,” Amanda corrected and watched her brother’s jaw twitch.
“I’m going to check on dad.”
“I swear I am going to slap him one of these days,” Jenny threatened, her hazel eyes snapping.
“Guess he’s not happy that you gave Cadey-Lynn Cade’s last name, huh?”
“He isn’t happy about her name at all,” Amanda admitted.
Cadey-Lynn’s chin started trembling a moment before sound emitted from her lips as she squinted her eyes and cried.
“I think she’s hungry,” Amanda laughed.
“I’ll get out of your way. Congratulations,” Kevin ducked from the room.
Amanda had made the decision to breast feed and lifted her daughter to feed her. She hadn’t been a mother even a full day yet and already she loved it. That night she wrote in her journal:
Cade,
Today our daughter was born. She weighs in at six pounds and eleven ounces and is twenty two and half inches long. She’s a long skinny little thing with your brilliant blue eyes and thick dark hair. Otherwise she looks like my baby pictures. She is so amazing, Cade; I love her so much it makes my chest squeeze painfully. She’s a part of both of us; it amazes me to think of that. There is a part of me that fears you decided it wasn’t worth fighting for us. I hope this isn’t true; I miss you so much and wanted you here today so badly that I cried. I love you; I think I always will whether I ever hear from you or not. I don’t think I can help myself.
______________________________________________
Amanda rocked her daughter at home a few weeks later and continued to marvel at how amazing and beautiful she was. Amanda had stopped to see her dad on her way out of the hospital and understood his attempt to state that his granddaughter was beautiful. The doctor was talking like Sterling would get to come home in a few days. A physical therapist would be coming to work with him to help him regain mobility. Amanda knew that with her unable to help the last few weeks and her still needing a little help herself, that her family had been stretched to its limits. Had it not been for Jenny stopping by and helping, offering rides to Naomi and Amanda where needed, Amanda wasn’t sure how they would have managed. Amanda had finally received the all clear to drive at her appointment that morning, maybe now she could be of some help again.
“You need a diaper change,” Amanda informed her daughter as she stood and moved to the diaper changing table.
“Yoo-hoo,” Jenny called as she started up the stairs, “Where is my god-daughter?”
“We’re up here; don’t you ever come to see me anymore?” Amanda called back.
“Nope, you’ve been upstaged,” Jenny grinned as she entered the room.
She stopped short to glare at Amanda.
“What did I do?” Amanda frowned at her friend.
“That’s like your sexiest pair of jeans; you should not be able to wear those already,” Jenny accused.
“I’m sorry,” Amanda laughed. “Despite feeling like a whale while I was pregnant, Dr. Connor said my weight was right where it was supposed to be. I’m doing pretty well losing the few extra that hung around.” Amanda had paired her favorite jeans with Cade’s shirt.
“Obviously,” Jenny still looked disgusted. “Paired with Cade’s shirt and the extra baggage,” Jenny waved between her own breasts, while nodding to Amanda, “you could go find you a man real fast. If you weren’t waiting for Cade that is.”
“I am,” Amanda insisted as she lifted her daughter.
“Let me see my girl,” Jenny reached for Cadey-Lynn. “You’re so sweet, yes, you are,” Jenny smiled down at the infant. “So what’s with your brother, anyway?”
“What do you mean what’s with my brother?” Amanda tidied the changing table and threw away the diaper she had just changed.
“I stopped by on my way out of work and he stared at me like had grown a third eye.”
“I gave up understanding my brother a long time ago. My dad, too for that matter. And come to think of it Cade; I’m on a roll here and it aint good,” Amanda turned to lean against the changing table, and smi
led at her friend.
“Is your brother being any nicer?”
“He is.”
“Good,” Jenny nodded but she still frowned.
“You’ll have to forgive him sooner or later you know; you still love him.”
“It’s easier if I stay mad at him,” Jenny admitted.
Amanda gave her friend a sympathetic smile; she could understand how that would be true.
Twenty-Seven
Amanda was relieved when her father came home. Their work load increased but at least they were no longer running to and from town daily. Her dad was making progress, his speech still slurred but much more intelligible now. He was sitting up, though the left side of his body didn’t fully co-operate. Amanda took the day shift and stayed close to her dad to help him. Her aunt took the night shift and Trent took the evening. By taking shifts they were able to stay with him around the clock.
“Here, we go, Daddy,” Amanda spooned soup into his mouth.
“Yo’re a good momma,” her father managed between bites.
“Thank you, Daddy,” Amanda gave him a sad smile.
“Bootiful, gran’daugh’er,” he told her.
“She is beautiful, now you need to eat,” Amanda informed him.
“Not a chil’” he protested.
“Well that makes two of us, you going to eat or aren’t you?” Amanda demanded.
“Sassy,” he accused.
“Always have been,” she smiled; he attempted to smile back.
Amanda finished feeding her father; then paused to eat before Cadey-Lynn woke ready for her own meal. The days were flying past, her daughter already more alert and aware of the world around her. She laid her daughter on the bed beside Sterling and watched him smile as his granddaughter looked up at him with huge sapphire eyes, her little body perpetually wiggling as she made sweet baby noises; her little fists often coming to rest in her mouth to be sucked on before she stopped to stare and grin up at her grandfather again.
That evening after returning to her own small home, Amanda sank onto the couch; she felt weary. Cadey-Lynn napped in her nearby bassinet and Amanda found herself drifting off as well.
“Mandy!” Jenny called as she entered the house. “I’m sorry if I had known you were resting I wouldn’t have bothered you; you need the sleep,” Jenny apologized.
“Nonsense, sit down and tell me why you sounded so shocked as you were coming in.
“Trent asked me out!” Jenny’s hazel eyes were wide with shock.
“Good,” Amanda smiled at her friend.
“I’m not sure it is.”
“You aren’t still ticked off?”
“Maybe a little,” Jenny admitted.
“Jenny, you’ve loved him for years, don’t miss this chance; trust me on this one, okay?”
“What if he breaks my heart?”
“What if he doesn’t?” Amanda countered.
“I’m scared to go for it,” Jenny voiced her frustration. “I don’t want to learn to be with him and then have to learn to be without him.”
“Jenny, you will regret it the rest of your life if you don’t give this a shot,” Amanda predicted.
“You’re right which is why I did agree; now I’m just working on talking myself out of it,” Jenny admitted.
“Go. I’m going to hold you to this. Would you mind watching Cadey-Lynn so I can shower?” Amanda requested.
“You know I don’t mind; go on and take your time. If Princess Cadey-Lynn wakes we’ll just hang out,” Jenny grinned at her friend.
“Thanks, Jenny,” Amanda stood. She gathered her things, started the shower, and let the hot water wash away the day’s tension. She was so happy for Jenny but she couldn’t stop her own tears from falling. She’d only just experienced what it was to live with Cade a part of her life and now he was gone and she was having to learn to live without him. That night she wrote in journal:
Cade,
Trent finally asked Jenny out! She is so scared and yet I know she’s excited too. I am so happy for them but I am so sad for us. I feel as though our chance was stolen. I so wish you were here, Cade. You would love your daughter. She is so sweet and special. She has learned to smile and make the cutest little noises; she’s such a happy baby. Well, unless you make her angry. She has learned to throw a tantrum too. Today I was trying to help Dad into a sitting position when she woke and decided she wanted to be picked up. By the time I made it to her side she was red faced, her cry sputtering like a dying plane engine. She clearly has the Jennings temper. I love you; miss you.
_______________________________________
Amanda worked seemingly nonstop the next day, trying to help her father, keeping up with Cadey-Lynn and various household chores that were too easily neglected when more pressing matters arose. She washed up the laundry, cleaned out the fridge, and swept and mopped all the floors, all before lunch. When her brother came in at lunch he glanced around and frowned.
“Slow down, Mandy; you’re going to make yourself sick.”
“I’m fine,” Amanda insisted. “So you asked Jenny out,” Amanda smiled at her brother.
“I figured she’d tell you. Yeah, I asked her out, now I just have to find time to go.”
“I’ve got it covered tomorrow night. Go, have fun, and me and Cadey-Lynn will entertain Dad.”
“Mandy, you’re already doing too much.”
“Nonsense, now call Jenny and tell her you’ll pick her up tomorrow night.”
“Thanks, Mandy,” Trent kissed his sister’s cheek.
“You’re welcome.”
“Guess you haven’t been able to go out with Kevin anymore,” Trent’s question ruined Amanda’s good mood.
“Kevin and I are not dating,” Amanda bit out.
“Why not?” Trent demanded.
“Because I love Cade!” Amanda felt her ire rising.
“Look around, Mandy. Do you see him trying to see you? Has he called? Has he written? He did the guy thing, Mandy. He told you what you wanted to hear, got what he wanted, and when the going got tough, he bailed.”
Amanda flinched and tears stung her eyes.
“Is that what you plan to do to Jenny?” Amanda demanded.
“I’m looking to settle down, Mandy. Cade isn’t exactly the staying kind, now is he?” Trent turned and walked away, leaving Amanda to try to piece her heart back together yet again.
Amanda threw herself back into her work and checked on her father frequently. The physical therapist had been that morning and her dad always slept a lot after he left. Late that afternoon she looked in find her dad awake.
“Hi, Daddy; need anything?”
“You okay, Mandy Lynn?” his words were surprising clear.
“Trent and I argued; nothing new there,” Amanda shrugged.
“You work too hard. Need to meet a nice man and settle down.”
“I met a nice man,” Amanda turned and left the room.
That evening at home, Amanda still didn’t slow down; she worked until she was sore in her legs and back. By the time she did lay down, she was certain she would fall straight to sleep. She didn’t; she laid awake crying and her chest tight with pain. She finally reached for her journal.
Cade,
Today my brother asked me if you were trying to reach me or see and told me you had used me. I am still so angry I can’t see straight. I am also hurting because you haven’t called or written and a part of me fears he might be right. I don’t want him to be right. Why haven’t you called? Why haven’t you written? Was I a nice distraction? Another in a long line of women? Maybe you’ve moved on, filled your bed with someone else, while I lie awake every night aching for you beside me. I hope my brother’s wrong. I hope that I’m right. That somewhere you are lying awake thinking of me too; wanting to be with me as well. I love you.
Amanda entered the house the next morning to low angry voices coming from her father’s room. Amanda paused to place Cadey-Lynn in her swing and moved toward her father’s
room.
“I don’t know, Dad…”
“You will do this,” her father’s voice was surprisingly strong and firm. His speech really was improving she realized.
“Is something wrong?” Amanda entered the room.
“No, Dad asked me to do him a favor is all,” Trent avoided her gaze and rushed from the room.
“Is he okay?” Amanda demanded of her father.
“We disagreed; still my decision,” her father responded, his expression still stormy.
“Can I help any?”
“No.”
“Right. I’ll start breakfast,” Amanda turned and left for the kitchen. She carried her father’s tray to his room and prepared to feed her father.
“Leave it,” he snapped.
Amanda pulled the table close; made sure everything was in her father’s reach and left him as requested. Today her work load was light and Amanda spent her day playing with Cadey-Lynn; Amanda checked on her father every half hour. Trent returned from town, his mood no better than their father’s.
“You okay?” Amanda asked him.
“I’m fine,” Trent shrugged; his expression was still stormy.
“I hope you are in a better mood before tonight,” she teased him.
Trent smiled and seemed to relax. “I will be.”
“Good; that’s my best friend you are taking out. You treat her right, Trent.”
“I will,” he responded defensively.
“You better,” she reiterated.
Later that evening, Amanda watched him leave for his date and returned to the kitchen to finish dinner. A sound at the door pulled Amanda’s attention to the door.
“Dad!” Amanda startled at finding him clinging to the door.
“Tired of that damned bed,” her father growled before he labored to his chair. Amanda could hear Naomi coming down the hall and turned to watch her aunt’s reaction to her father being out of bed.
“Sterling! What are you doing up?” Naomi rushed to his side.
“Reclaiming my manhood,” Sterling leaned on the table but looked determined. After dinner, Amanda stood and cleared the table. Sterling, holding the wall for support, insisted on moving to the living room.
Under the Open Sky (Montana Heritage Series) Page 28
