“Hi,” the man lifted Cadey-Lynn gently, a wide smile lighting his face. “You are precious.”
“She’s as spoiled as her mother; apparently, we Jennings men spoil our women folk,” Trent joked.
“Spoiled? That’s why I had to fight to do anything,” Amanda grumbled to her brother.
“If by anything you mean hanging out with boys I didn’t approve of, yes,” Trent shot at her. “She doesn’t appreciate how hard it was to look out for her,” Trent informed the other man.
“You didn’t approve of any of the boys,” Amanda reminded him and lifted Cadey-Lynn’s bag from the floor. “Come on, Cadey-Lynn, we need to get home,” Amanda reached for her daughter.
“Good evening, Dr. Foster. I’ll see you tomorrow, Trent.” Amanda hurried from her father’s house to the refuge of her own. Later that night she wrote in her journal.
Cade,
Our daughter is growing so fast! She’s cruising along furniture now, all but ready to take her first step. She’s the most beautiful little thing you’ve ever seen and seems to set out to win over everyone she meets. Tonight she set her sights on the new vet in town; he was smitten. Never a day goes by that she doesn’t bring joy and smiles into my life. I suppose I am silly to keep writing in here. I guess if you were going to come back for me that you would have already done so. It’s been so long now, Cade. I suppose I am foolish romantic who refuses to see the truth, but I can’t seem to let go. Miss you.
__________________________________
Amanda heard rapid steps on her porch a moment before Jenny rushed through the door, her eyes wide and bright.
“Mandy!” Jenny rushed across the room, her hand extended. Amanda was laughing as she dutifully admired the engagement ring on her friend’s finger.
“Congratulations!”
“Oh, Mandy; I am so happy I feel like I must be dreaming,” Jenny spun around in Amanda’s living room like an excited child.
“Have you two love birds set a date?” Amanda curled into the corner of the couch.
“This spring is as far as we got. We’re both impatient to be married so it won’t be too long,” Jenny finally collapsed onto a chair.
“I am so very happy for you, Jenny,” Amanda smiled.
“Mandy, I want you this happy,” Jenny’s expression sobered. “Mandy, have you…” Jenny stood. “I love you and I wouldn’t hurt you for the world but have you considered moving on?”
Amanda, her heart cracking a little, stared at her friend. “No,” she spoke softly and shook her head lightly.
“Oh, Mandy, I’m not trying to hurt you but it’s been so long with no word…” Jenny’s eyes were bright with tears.
“You let me worry about that. You enjoy this day and moment and those to come; you’re finally marrying my brother.”
Jenny’s smile was tinged with a hint of sadness. “I know.”
“Don’t worry about me, Jenny; I have to sort this out for myself.”
Jenny nodded. “So, you’ll be my maid of honor?”
“You better let me be,” Amanda grinned; Jenny’s smile was back. The two of them started talking about wedding plans; Jenny produced a magazine that she had bought on her way over. The two poured through the photos. Jenny seemed to like every dress she saw; this could take a while, Amanda mused. Both women paused when a whimper sounded on the baby monitor; then moved on when Cadey-Lynn seemed to settle back down. Steps on the porch brought their attention to the door.
“I thought that was my fiancée’s car,” Trent was grinning as he entered. Amanda smiled as she watched Jenny jump up and rush into her brother’s arms. “You making wedding plans already?” Trent inquired of Jenny.
“You have no idea how much goes into a wedding,” Jenny shared as she dragged Trent to the couch. Trent stayed for nearly an hour, his hand seldom leaving Jenny. Either he was holding her hand, or laying his hand on her arm, her back; he couldn’t seem to stop touching her, or watching her for that matter. He finally excused himself; Jenny walked him out. She was back a moment later, her cheeks slightly flushed.
“What did your parents say?” Amanda asked of her friend as Jenny sat back down beside her. Amanda watched her friend drop her gaze.
“I haven’t told them,” Jenny admitted.
“Why not?” Amanda demanded.
“When Angie died they were momentarily angry at Trent. I heard them discussing it. They both came to the agreement that Angie and Trent had simply been young and foolish, both playing an equal part and responsibility in what happened. All these years I’ve run around with you, your brother in the picture it never seemed to bother them.” Jenny sighed and shifted to sit against the corner of the couch.
“They freaked when I told them Trent and I were dating, Mandy. In all of their ranting and raving they couldn’t give me one good reason why I shouldn’t date him. All they seemed to keep repeating was that Trent was Angie’s first love and the man she had died trying to elope with.”
“Oh, Jenny, I’m sorry.”
“I love them but I won’t miss this chance for happiness; I love him so much, Mandy.”
“I know and he feels the same; I can see it.”
“I loved Angie as much as they did; still do, Mandy, but I’m still here and what I feel is as real as what she felt.”
“You have every right to keep moving forward,” Amanda assured her.
“Trent and I have talked about Angie; a lot. We’ve laughed and cried together; in an odd way it’s simply one more thing that binds us together. I know he sees me as separate individual from my sister, though; I did worry about that for a moment. We talked about that too, how my sister and I were alike and yet very different. I am not threatened that he loved my sister; I love him all the more for it. I just wish my parents could see it that way.”
“Give them time, Jenny.”
“Thanks, Mandy; I knew you would understand,” Jenny leaned across the couch to hug her friend. After Jenny left Amanda pulled out her journal to write:
Cade,
My brother and Jenny are engaged! I am so very happy for her. She was funny bouncing around here in excitement as she talked of the future. The future is harder for me than the past, Cade. My past holds so many warm memories while the future threatens to be cold and empty. It’s hard to hold on to the hope that you’re coming back for me now; even Jenny is suggesting that you aren’t and she was your biggest supporter. A part of me fears, maybe even knows you aren’t. Then at the end of each day as I undress I remove your mother’s ring from around my neck and I think that it has to mean something! I know what that ring means to you; I can’t imagine you leaving it for no reason, not after you fought to keep it for so long! Am I deluding myself? Am I spinning fantasies so I don’t have to face the truth? I love you; miss you.
Thirty
Amanda sat beside Naomi in church on Sunday, her thoughts on Cadey-Lynn’s birthday party that afternoon. She couldn’t believe that her baby girl was a year old! Where had the past year gone? Sterling was doing much better these days, sitting erect in his usual pew, though a cane leaned against the left side of his body that still, at times, refused to fully cooperate. Jenny was attending with them now, at moment she sat beside Trent, her attention more on the man beside her than the man speaking up front. Amanda bit back a smile. There was no denying that Jenny was head over heels for her brother, Amanda mused.
As service ended, Amanda gathered her purse and Bible to go collect her daughter from the nursery. She stood and turned to find Kevin blocking her exit.
“Hey, Kevin,” she smiled. Their conversations had become infrequent after her father’s stroke, Cadey-Lynn’s subsequent birth, and Amanda leaving her job to help at home.
“Hey, Mandy; how are you?” his hazel eyes were warm.
“Good. Can you believe my baby girl is a year old today?”
“I know; I realized that this past week. I got her a small gift,” he held up the wrapped package.
“Thank you,” Amanda, touched tha
t he’d remembered, smiled.
“I was wondering, Mandy; would you like to go to dinner with me next Friday night?” his gaze was steady, though Amanda watched his throat bob nervously.
No invitation of two friends followed and Amanda knew he was asking her on a real date. Amanda swallowed hard and dropped her gaze as her heart squeezed painfully. The men at church seemed to have come to the decision that Cade wasn’t returning either. Kevin was the fourth to ask her out.
“Yes,” and the first she had accepted.
“Great,” she watched a relieved smile spread over his face. “Would six be too early to pick you up?”
“No, six would be fine,” she assured him.
“I’ll see you then,” he nodded and stepped backward, right into Trent. “Sorry, Trent,” Kevin muttered.
“Kevin?”
“Yeah?” he turned back to Amanda.
“Would you like to come to Cadey-Lynn’s party this afternoon?” she invited and watched her brother’s eyes widen in disbelief.
“I would,” Kevin nodded.
“Okay,” Amanda smiled. “We’re pretty much going to eat and then have her a little party, so you might as well come on for dinner,” Amanda suggested.
“I’ll see you in a few minutes then.”
Amanda watched him turn to leave and blew out a long breath; she couldn’t believe she had just done that. Shaking herself, Amanda hurried to the church basement and found her daughter hanging on the gate to the nursery.
“Ma-ma, ma-ma,” Cadey-Lynn started bouncing when she saw her mother.
“Mommy missed you too,” Amanda leaned over to lift her daughter; she kissed her cheek as she did.
“Here’s her bag, Mandy; I think she was starting to get anxious.”
“Thanks, Carol; I was delayed.” Amanda waved farewell to the nursery workers and hurried to catch up with her family.
As they arrived at the ranch a bustle ensued, each person changing and then meeting back at the main house’s kitchen. Amanda helped her aunt pull the roast from the oven before putting the rolls in to heat. Jenny, showing how many times she had joined them, started setting the table. The sound of the doorbell made Amanda’s stomach knot; why had she invited Kevin?
“I’ll get that,” Amanda hurried from the room and ignored the speculative gazes of her family.
“Hi,” Amanda greeted Kevin with a smile.
“Hi,” he stepped inside; he looked as nervous as she felt.
“Everyone is already in the kitchen,” Amanda shared and began leading the way. The large country kitchen was truly the heart of the ranch, Amanda mused as she watched her family gathering around the table, each helping get the meal on the table in one way or another. Cadey-Lynn already sat in her high chair.
“Ippie, ippie,” Cadey-Lynn grunted and reached toward the main table where her sippie cup sat waiting for milk.
“Have a seat,” Amanda invited as she moved to grab the milk from the fridge. She tightened the lid on her daughter’s freshly filled cup and sat it on the highchair tray. Her daughter wasted no time grabbing it and taking a long drink.
Everyone was soon seated and Amanda prepared her daughter’s plate. She bowed her head when her father prayed and then placed Cadey-Lynn’s plate on her tray. As everyone started eating Cadey-Lynn demonstrated her new ability to grasp her fork, poking at her potatoes, only to reach forward with her other hand a moment later to remove them from the fork and place them in her mouth.
“Interesting method,” Kevin was chuckling as he watched her.
“I know, she’s funny. She gets that the food goes on the fork but only occasionally puts the fork in her mouth.”
“She’s adorable, Mandy.”
“I know,” Amanda admitted.
“So how are things going at your mom’s place?” Sterling asked their dinner guest.
“They’re starting to turn around. Between my work at the hospital and trying to put the ranch back in the black, I’ve been rather busy. This month we actually saw a profit.”
“Congratulations; I know that didn’t come easy,” Sterling nodded in respect.
“Thank you, sir, it certainly didn’t.” Kevin acknowledged. “I hear congratulations are in order,” he turned to Jenny and Trent.
“Thank you,” Jenny beamed.
“Have you two set a date?”
“No, we’re thinking maybe June,” Jenny offered. “That is if we can pull it together that fast.”
“Good luck,” Kevin offered.
As soon as the table was cleared, Amanda pulled out two cakes, one a small cake for Cadey-Lynn to have to herself and the other for the rest of them. They sang happy birthday and all watched as Cadey-Lynn plowed into the small cake actually making it to her mouth with the fork. Her eyes widened.
“Mmmm,” Cadey-Lynn dove into her cake with her fork again. A moment later she abandoned the fork and grabbed a handful of cake in each hand and began cramming her mouth full; all the adults were laughing at her. Several minutes later it was turning into finger painting with cake icing and Amanda knew her daughter was finished. She removed the tray and started the process of digging her daughter from under all the chocolate before finally carrying her to the bathroom and sticking her into the tub before redressing her.
Amanda settled into the floor with her daughter in her lap and handed her daughter a gift. Cadey-Lynn pulled the bow off only to become frustrated when it stuck to her elbow. She irritably pulled it free for it to stick to her hand and squealed in frustration as she shook her hand.
“Here, let mommy help,” Amanda rescued her daughter. “Look, Cadey-Lynn,” Amanda pulled part of the paper off the gift to give her daughter a glance at the dolly beneath the clear plastic inside. Cadey-Lynn grabbed the paper and enthusiastically began ripping it from the box. Amanda, smiling and thinking that she loved this little person more than just about anyone else in the world, watched her daughter.
Amanda walked toward the cabin, Cadey-Lynn drooping in her arms. It had been a busy day for the little lady. Beside them Kevin carried all of Cadey-Lynn’s gifts.
“Thanks for inviting me,” Kevin broke the afternoon’s silence.
“You’re welcome,” Amanda returned. “I wasn’t sure you would enjoy it but,” Amanda lifted her shoulder and let it fall.
“I did. You are a wonderful mother, Mandy.”
“Thanks,” Amanda smiled at him. “I love being a mom,” she admitted.
“It shows. I figured you would turn me down today when I asked you out,” Kevin informed her.
“I surprised myself,” she was honest with him. “I suppose it helps that I’ve always enjoyed your company, Kevin. It scares me to think of dating again.” Amanda was quiet for a moment. “Part of me says I’m not ready and tells me to protect myself and hold on to my hope of Cade returning. Another part of me says that’s not happening and that I’m tired of being lonely.”
“I’m sure it’s been hard, Mandy,” Kevin commented. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”
“Thanks for taking a chance on me,” Amanda offered him a smile. “You’re easy to talk to, Kevin.” They were standing on Amanda’s porch by now and Amanda entered.
“Just set those down anywhere,” Amanda invited. “Thanks.”
“I’ll get out of your way and let you put her down for a nap. Thanks for a great afternoon,” Kevin offered a small wave and turned to let himself out. Amanda closed the door and climbed the stairs before placing her daughter in her bed. She had placed a large overstuffed chair in her daughter’s room and grabbed her journal before curling up in the chair with a blanket to write.
Cade,
Today was our daughter’s first birthday. I wish you could have seen her with her cake. She abandoned her fork to grab it by the handfuls; we were all laughing. She’s so wonderful, Cade; I love her so much more than I would have ever thought possible. She loved her gifts, one doll I bought her in particular. I accepted a date, Cade. I have to try moving on, though a
lump is forming in my throat just thinking about it. I still miss you every day but I can’t keep pretending things are any different than what they are. Miss you.
Thirty-One
Amanda stood in front of her mirror trying to calm her frantic nerves. It was Kevin; she knew Kevin, laughed with Kevin. It was a date! Amanda groaned, her hand coming to her nauseated stomach; she was going to be sick. By the time she heard tires in the drive, Amanda was a mess.
“Hi,” Kevin’s smile faded as he took in her appearance. “Are you okay?”
“I am a wreck,” she admitted.
“Would you prefer to skip this altogether?” the disappointment showed in his hazel eyes.
“No, I’m just nervous. Which is totally ridiculous, Kevin! You and I have been out before; why is this so different?” she demanded in frustration.
“Because this is your first real date since everything happened the way it did. Just relax, Mandy. Let’s go enjoy talking and laughing the way we always have,” he extended a hand to her.
“Okay,” Amanda, relieved at how understanding he was being, smiled.
“You look amazing by the way,” Kevin informed her as he opened the truck door for her to climb in. She had chosen a long black skirt and a light green top; nothing too fancy but nice.
“Thank you,” Amanda smiled.
As the evening wore on Amanda relaxed and found herself laughing as Kevin told her stories of his college days and some of the pranks he and the others had pulled on each other.
“We were awful, I’m surprised they didn’t kick us out,” Kevin was grinning as he raised his glass to take a drink of tea.
“Thank you, Kevin; I am having a really great time,” Amanda offered sincerely.
“Good,” he smiled across the table. “So how do you feel about your best friend marrying your brother?”
“I am excited for her, and all I can say is she should know exactly what she’s getting,” Amanda laughed.
“I can just imagine how he’ll be when he has daughters,” Kevin smiled and shook his head.
“Jenny will have to be the voice of reason or their daughters will never have a life. And that’s just it. I believe Jenny can and will stand up to him. In fact, I know she will. It would never do for my brother to marry a laid back soft spoken woman; he’d plow her under.”
Under the Open Sky (Montana Heritage Series) Page 30
