I’d experienced many firsts with Nate. He had taken me to ecstasy more times than I could remember, my eyes rolling to the back of my head the first time he made me climax. I’d never felt that feeling before. But two days before my wedding, my life changed. I became a woman driven by revenge, and yes, that drive did push me into the arms of Omar Duval. How else was I going to make Nate pay for the embarrassment he caused my family and me? How else was I going to punish him for the damage he had done to my heart? I didn’t plan on falling in love with Omar─that was one of the consequences of my revenge. I wanted to find the man that had Nate’s heart, make him fall in love with me, then out them both to the world. I just wanted to make the man fall in love with me and then let everyone know what was going on between their sheets.
I acted as if I were planning the collapse of the world’s greatest empire, even if he were just a partner at one of D.C.’s most prominent law firms. My plans would have me crossing paths with Nate again. Nate and everyone connected to him would be caught in the crossfire. I associated myself with Sonja Pettit, the disgruntled former lover of the good pastor, and then sat back and watched Pastor Luke Winters’ quick fall from grace. There was more to Reverend Luke Winters than meets the eye, and I made sure the good senator knew about all the eyes that got a taste of what the Reverend had to offer. Oh, the Senator was on my hit list, too, but she was already digging herself deeper into a ditch she couldn’t climb out of, not even with a fireman’s ladder.
“Here’s the truth, Omar,” I finally answered. I’d stood in the doorway of my small office on the side of my bedroom, smiled, and then gently slid my tongue along the top row of my teeth. I glided over an abstract pattern hand-tufted rug and stood in front of my L-shaped harvest cherry executive desk.
“In the end I got you, your money, and ten years away from Nathaniel,” I quickly reminded him.
“And what happened to Patrick didn’t matter to you, did it, even though your behavior was reminiscent to someone who actually cared.”
“Unfortunately, there are always innocent bystanders and unplanned casualties of war, Omar.”
“You bitch.”
“Now is not the time for your terms of endearment, Omar, but thank you.”
I sat back in my black leather executive chair with a victory-is-mine smile on my face and focused on what had been a bouquet of white calla lilies that sat in a corner on top of the lateral file chest. Chance had them delivered a few weeks ago, just because he knew they were my favorite.
“I hope you remember this feeling when Patrick and Chance turn their backs on you. Something tells me all you’re going to have left are memories, traces of happiness you used to know.”
“Like I told you before, Patrick is a grown-ass man who hasn’t dealt with the fact that the man he thinks is his father raped him. He might just have the nerve to do to you what he wasn’t able to when your sorry-ass…”
“Wasn’t that easy?” he interrupted.
“What?” I sat up in my chair.
“Those words ‘the man he thinks is his father’ just rolled off your tongue. Let’s hope those same words come as easy when you have to explain to Patrick how you manage to let him go on thinking he was raped by his father. Just think how much you could have helped him if you had just told him the truth. You allowed him to think his own father hated him that much.”
“You don’t…”
“But then you would have to tell him what happened to Kiel and Lexi,” he quickly added.
“I get to decide when I tell my son anything.”
“He’s not your son, Colleen. He’s the remains of a plan that didn’t work out exactly how you planned. You don’t get to decide when you tell Patrick anything.”
“Remember, I know about your underhand business deals and your tax evasion. You still have more to lose.” I stood with my hand on my hip and stared at my reflection in the mirror on the wall behind my desk. “Don’t start a fight you can’t finish.”
“Heed your own warning.”
He sat on the phone in silence. I could hear every breath he took. This conversation wasn’t a part of my plans for the evening. I had given him enough of time.
“How’s your mother? Has Georgia forgiven you for taking her beloved Lexi from her? Oh, that’s right. She doesn’t know, either. Or does she?”
I waited for him to continue but the phone was silent. I removed the phone from my ear and checked the screen. Once again, he had gotten the last word. What did my mother know? Georgia hasn’t said five words to me in years. She just stopped talking to me without reason or explanation. This wasn’t anything new so I never gave it a second thought. Now Omar had me wondering. I had to figure out a way to find out exactly what my mother knew.
Chapter 18
Patrick…
Where Did You Go?
“Did you get any of my messages last night, or any of the ones I left earlier today?” I barely got my left foot in the car and closed the door before my cell phone buzzed. I had changed my ringer setting to silent mode before entering Dr. Kendrick’s office, and ignored every vibration that occurred during my session with her. I adjusted the seatbelt as it closed around me before I responded.
“Actually, I was going to call you before my next meeting,” I lied, something I was able to do much more easily with women.
I had practiced with the women that came before Devaan―and some of the men, too―and with practice I had become perfect. “Who’s he to you?” was the question many of my lies always followed, mostly because who he was to me was nobody’s business. I hadn’t been upfront with Devaan, but I hadn’t actually lied to her, either. It was something I tried not to do. She hadn’t yet asked any questions that required me to maneuver around with a quick white lie, and I figured I wasn’t going to give answers to any questions she didn’t ask.
“And when was that, Telly?” she asked as if she knew I was making up this scheduled meeting.
“And where are you meeting this…” she paused, “client?”
“I’m meeting Keith Benson at the Chops, and I’m already late,” I said, telling my next lie without hesitation.
Chops was a top ranked steakhouse in Atlanta’s Buckhead area, but the only place I planned on going was back to my hotel room. Now that I had mentioned the restaurant to Devaan, the idea of making reservations was dancing in my head.
In the few years I’d been with Devaan, I learned quickly she was a good woman. I kept my lies to myself and forced my love to grow for her. There were many nights she reminded me that the love I made to her was nothing ordinary. Those were the nights when I wasn’t thinking about Dexter or Jacoby―or maybe I made love to her as if she were them. I hated that she was sexing me like she was, but still it wasn’t enough to keep my mind from the men who once occupied my time. I found myself secretly comparing her sex to theirs. While she went on an exploration to find my pleasure spots, I concluded Dexter or Jacoby would have had me nearing climax already. Places they would have gone without me giving them directions, I dared not tell her to go for fear she might think I was gay or something. After all, weren’t those the places only gay men got pleasure from? I didn’t want those thoughts floating around in her mind. I didn’t know if she read that book that told women what to do if they wanted to know if their men were gay.
I liked the way the warmth of her breath felt on my ear when she would whisper, “What do you want me to do to you, daddy?”
That question always turned me on, cause that was what Jacoby used to call me, and even now, I could still hear his voice in the back of my head. I hated that the more I tried not to think about the men from my past, being with Devaan always brought back memories of them. Sometimes I hated myself for that.
“Call me as soon as you’re finished meeting with your client,” she said in a demanding tone. “We have to talk.”
I hated when people used those words in the same sentence. ‘We have to talk’ always sends an unfavorable chill down my spine.
They were never usually followed by anything I wanted to hear. I thought about my conversation with Dexter, but decided I wasn’t going to say anything. Part of me was holding on to the hope that he had been mistaken.
“You’ve thought about my proposal?” I asked with pretend excitement.
“Actually, Telly, I’ve given a lot of thought about your proposal.”
I’d been waiting over a year for her response to one simple question. The first woman I’ve ever asked that question, and she was making me sweat as if spending the rest of her life with me was a hard decision for her to make. I’d proposed to her on Valentine’s Day two years ago. I wasn’t in a rush to marry so hearing that she needed some time to think about a response didn’t do anything to my ego. I guess I just wanted to put a ring on her finger. Like I’d said before, Devaan was a good catch. I’d watched her smile widened as I kneeled in front of her and removed the ring from my jacket. I had contemplated proposing on her birthday, which would have been a month later, but I had no real reason to wait. Even without a definite yes, I insisted she wore the ring.
“Okay. Can’t it wait until I get to Connecticut?” I pleaded. “I want your answer in person.”
“Telly that’s not what I want to talk to you about,” she corrected. “Look, I’m not about to go around in circles about this. I want some answers.”
“To what?”
“Oh, so this is the game you’re going to play?”
She was surprisingly calm. If she knew what Dexter said she knew, she shouldn’t be under this much control.
“Why did you propose to me, Telly?”
“What kind of question is that, Devaan?”
“One I expect you to answer.”
“Okay. Why does anyone propose? Because I love you.”
She laughed. I didn’t think my response had any humor in it.
“Am I the only one you love?”
“You think there’s another woman?” I asked.
My heart was beating a mile a minute. I was trying to concentrate on the road before me, but that was becoming difficult.
“Not another woman.”
She paused, listening to the silence between us.
“I think there’s another man. Correction. I KNOW there have been other men. You know what I hate more than anything? I hate when people.” She stopped. “Not people, men. I hate when men try to pull the wool over my eyes.”
“No one’s pulling the wool over anyone’s eyes. I know I’m not.”
“No. Not anymore you aren’t. See, Telly. I know the men who have been in your life don’t have you on their list of favorite ex’s. Thanks to them, I know everything. So tell me, Telly. Do you still love Dexter? And what about Jacoby, do you still love him, too? You don’t think you should have told me about these men you shared your bed with before you came to me about marriage? Did you think I wasn’t going to find out? Am I supposed to think you won’t go running back to them when you needed to be reminded what it felt like to be on the other side because what I’m giving you isn’t enough?”
“What?”
She was a woman with many questions.
“Don’t,” she interrupted. “What I don’t want you to do is lie to me. The truth I could handle.”
“You don’t trust me?”
She smirked.
“Trust you? No, Patrick. Isn’t that your name? I can’t believe I was thinking about marrying a man whose first name I didn’t even know. No, I don’t trust you. I don’t even know you. When were you going to tell me? Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, so I can tell my wife-to-be I used to fuck men. Does that sound about right? Has an ugly RING to it…no pun intended.”
“I was going to tell you.”
“When, Patrick? A minute ago you made it seem as if you had no idea what I could be talking about. So when exactly were you going to tell me? My question isn’t that hard.”
She sounded like if she were here, her hands would be wrapped around my neck. Had I committed the ultimate betrayal?
“Isn’t the truth that you were never going to tell me anything? You sent me on this wild-goose chase to keep your world that involved me and the one that once involved Dexter from colliding.”
I didn’t think everything I did was everyone’s business. My past wasn’t Devaan’s business because I had no plans on it being a part of my future with her. This was already a small world, and it got even smaller when Jackson Bradley, Devaan’s brother, showed up at her parents’ house a few Thanksgivings ago with Trevor Harrison on his arms. I saw my worst fears staring me in my face. I knew it wouldn’t be long before Trevor would figure everything out. I was Patrick Telly McKay, the same man who had lied to Dexter and almost cost him and his nephew their lives. I knew how protective Devaan and Jackson were of each other, so I was sure as soon as Trevor pieced my puzzle together, he would tell Jackson, and my relationship with Devaan would be over. I couldn’t let that happen. So, I relied on that same protection and planted a strong seed of doubt in her mind.
I’d told her about the relationship Dexter and Trevor were having behind her brother’s back. I used the information Dexter told me about their encounters, fed them all to Devaan, knowing she would do whatever she could to keep her brother from getting hurt again. I sat back and watched Devaan masquerade around as “Bran”, dealing out threating phone calls and ultimatums for Trevor to either leave her brother or stop his romps with Dexter. I went about my business with a sadistic grin on my face knowing either decision meant Devaan could never come close to knowing the past I was trying to leave behind, at least for a few years. Before Devaan, the only other female I’d ever loved was Taylor, my childhood best friend. But that didn’t count because our affair was a teenage love, and the sex we had was sympathy sex, more so her sympathy for me.
I was walking back into the lobby of the Marriott with Devaan still on the phone. I had forgotten about my supposed meeting with Keith Benson, but the pangs in my stomach were a reminder that I hadn’t eaten all day. I’d spent most of the morning before leaving to see Dr. Kendrick working my contacts to get a number to Dr. Vanessa Aldridge that DaMarcus needed. I wasn’t sure how long it would take, so I’d decided to make that the first thing I did when I woke.
“So you know who I’ve been involved with. Where does that leave us?”
I stood in the foyer in front of the elevators waiting on any one of them to arrive.
“It leaves us where I was before I met you; a life without you in it. I guess I should thank you, though. A few years from now I won’t be sitting around with my face in my hand wondering how my husband could be gay because I hadn’t paid attention to the signs.”
I stood outside the elevator, leaning against the wall. I feared I would lose the signal once inside the elevator, though this conversation and my relationship with Devaan was coming to a sudden end.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“But you did mean to deceive me,” she shot back. “Just imagine if I had listened to that little voice in the back of my head that kept telling me to just tell Jackson and let him and Trevor decide on their own how they wanted to deal with Trevor’s unfaithfulness. I would have walked down the aisle knowing so little about you. You kept a very important part of your life from me, Patrick. Could you even conceive the stabbing in my heart as I listened to Trevor tell me about the consequences Dexter and his nephew faced because you still wanted to prove his love for you. And meeting Travis Price, your agent-foe from De Nouveaux Visages Modeling Agency, revealed even more ugly truths about you. You are a dark stranger, Patrick. But thanks to you and your persistence, I know exactly who you are. Eventually, you’re going to want him back.”
“Who is ‘him’?” I finally interrupted.
“It doesn’t matter. Maybe Dexter, Travis, or even Jacoby. Or maybe the next man who catches your eye and decides I am no competition. And even though I would have been here first, even though I love you, that won’t be eno
ugh to keep you. So while it doesn’t hurt as much to do so, let me cut my losses now. If I wait until later, this won’t be as easy.”
I waited to hear her say goodbye, but that word never came. The call had ended. I stared at the phone screen until it went black. I placed my cell phone in my pocket, entered the elevator, and leaned against the rail in the back with my head and eyes towards the floor. I rode in silence to the ninth floor. Once in my room, I sat on the edge of the bed. The thought of crying over Devaan scared me. I needed to shake this feeling, and I knew exactly who to call to help me do just that. I removed my cell phone from my pocket and dialed his number.
“Hey Jacoby. You busy?” I asked as soon as I heard his voice.
“I’ll be free in about thirty minutes.”
I looked at my watch and then at the clock behind me on the nightstand.
“I’m staying at the Marriott in Buckhead. Why don’t you come join me for dinner?”
“I’ll have to stop at the house first.”
“That’s cool. I’ll see you when you get here.”
I hung up the phone and walked to the desk a few steps from the bed. I sat in the chair and browsed the menu to Shula’s 347 Grill and Lounge. I needed something to tide me over until Jacoby arrived.
Chapter 19
DaMarcus…
When You Know
It was late Wednesday night when my phone rang. I quickly sprang to my feet since Patrick had promised to get the number to me today. I hate to admit I had sat around waiting for his call, but since I didn’t want to seem hasty, I waited in agonizing patience. I don’t know where Patrick gets his resources, and I didn’t bother to ask. I was just glad he came through for me. I couldn’t wait to make contact with Dr. Aldridge, but I ignored my eagerness and waited until Friday to contact her.
I was starting to get used to living alone and I hated every minute of it. Sometimes I woke expecting to see Belinda sleeping next to me, only to realize I had awaken the same way I went to sleep─alone. It’s said you never miss a good thing till it’s gone, and now my good thing was with Shedrick Wise.
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