I immediately started shaking my head. “They warned us.”
“Repeatedly,” Thistle added. “They told us never to cast love spells and we didn’t listen. We were lucky to get off as lightly as we did. When you’re older, the spells backfire much harder.”
“Okay, well … .” Landon rubbed the back of my head as he considered the story. “That’s just freaky. Do you think this Nelson kid cast a spell on those girls?”
“I told him love potions don’t exist in the real world,” Thistle replied. “I told him that eventually things will get better and that he just has to wait for it to happen.”
“That sounds logical.” Landon shifted his eyes to me. “Do you want me to hunt this Frankie kid down and kick him in the ribs?”
I mustered a wan smile and shook my head. “I got what I deserved. You don’t try to manipulate the heart.”
“I guess not.” Landon snuggled closer and heaved a sigh. “So, if Nelson didn’t cast a love potion, what’s going on? Even though I was having a good time messing with Bay while we were down there, I can’t deny there was something off about that situation.”
“I don’t know,” Thistle said, scratching her cheek. “I guess we’ll have to watch and see what happens. If he did find someone to cast a love potion for him, it will backfire quickly. We should know by tomorrow.”
“Except he has five people in his harem,” I pointed out. “That could be five people kicking him in the ribs.”
“But you don’t know it’s a spell,” Thistle pointed out. “It could be something else entirely. For all we know he pulled a ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ and paid all of those girls to pretend they’re his girlfriends.”
“What’s ‘Can’t Buy Me Love?’” Landon asked.
“It’s a bad eighties movie with Patrick Dempsey,” I replied. “We were obsessed with it when we were kids because we loved the big hair.”
“And Patrick Dempsey,” Thistle added. “I still love him.”
“Yes, the eighties were a lovely decade,” Landon deadpanned. “As for Nelson, until we know differently, I don’t see why there’s any reason to get worked up. If the girls go on the attack, I’m sure we’ll hear about it.”
“I hope you’re right.” I rested my head on his shoulder, content to let him share his warmth with me. The silence was amiable for a long time before Clove shoved open the front door of the inn and barreled toward the library.
“Have you seen what’s going on out there?”
I reluctantly jerked my head away, surprised. “What are you talking about?”
Clove, her cheeks flushed with color, couldn’t stop laughing. “I think you need to see it for yourself.” She grabbed my arm and jerked me to a standing position.
I groaned, vociferously lodging my protest. “It’s cold and I don’t want to go outside.”
“You have to see what’s going on in the parking lot,” Clove pressed, her eyes serious. “I left Sam out there to act as lookout in case … well … in case someone’s bits turn to ice and break off.”
I perked up. “Bits? Are there naked people outside?”
“It’s freaking cold out,” Thistle pointed out, although she was already on her feet. “If I’m going outside, I want to know exactly what I’m going to see. If it’s nudity, I’m in. If it’s simulated nudity, I’m out.”
“What’s simulated nudity?” Landon asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Think Skinemax versus hardcore porn,” Thistle suggested.
Landon furrowed his brow. “Ah. I get it now. Yeah, I’m only going outside if it’s real nudity, too.”
“This family is full of pigs,” I muttered.
“Oink, oink.” Landon poked my side as he grabbed our coats from the chair where we had discarded them upon entry. “Put this on. I know we’re going to see naked people and that’s bound to be distracting – and possibly hot – but I don’t want you to catch a cold. It will ruin the rest of our weekend.”
“You’re awfully jovial for a guy who might have to write public indecency tickets,” I said, tugging on my gloves. “Why are you so excited to see other people when they’re naked?”
“There’s nothing that’s not made better by nudity, sweetie.” Landon pressed his hand to the small of my back and urged me toward the door. “Pick up the pace. You’re not moving fast enough.”
“I’d be a little worried about how excited he is to see another woman naked,” Thistle called out.
“Well, I’m not.” In truth, I was a little worried. I knew it was probably nothing, but Landon had been acting mischievous all day.
The five of us hurried out the door, halting when we hit the front porch and crowding together as we witnessed two naked figures grappling with one another in the back seat of a parked sedan.
“Holy … .” Landon’s eyes widened as the car rocked back and forth. “What the heck is going on?”
“The windows are all foggy, but I’m pretty sure it’s that couple who checked in last night,” Thistle said, squinting as she leaned forward. “The Leerys, right?”
I bobbed my head as the faces that matched the name popped into my memory. “Yes, they were very excited about the unveiling of the wishing well today. I saw them at the ceremony.”
“Were they having sex in public?” Thistle asked dryly.
I shook my head. “They were drinking hot chocolate and counting coins to throw into the well.”
“What are we supposed to do?” Clove asked, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t think it’s safe for them to be having sex outside. The temperature is supposed to drop into the teens tonight.”
“They should be done long before then,” Landon offered, grinning. “Seriously. They’re going to kill the shocks on that car.”
“Stop staring.” I put my hand over his eyes, but he impatiently shoved it away.
“Hey, if they want to have sex in public, you can’t stop me from watching,” Landon argued. “They made a choice to do it and I’m making a choice to watch it.”
“You’re seriously out of control today,” I muttered, shaking my head as I moved next to Thistle. “We can’t let them do this. They’re going to throw out a hip or something. I’m pretty sure the Leerys are in their seventies, right?”
Thistle nodded, her eyes trained on the car. “You can’t unsee something like this, and yet I can’t look away. What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re a pervert, just like Landon,” I replied without hesitation. “I don’t care how uncomfortable this is. We need to do something before our mothers come out here. They will totally freak out.”
“I think we should call Aunt Tillie,” Thistle suggested.
“What? Why?”
“Because older people and their naked bits fall under her area of expertise,” Thistle replied. “I can’t deal with these people. It’s funny to watch them and all, but … ugh. That dude is going to have an imprint of that dome light etched into his butt if he keeps banging that bony thing against the roof like that.”
“Okay, we have to do something.” I was starting to get desperate, but I was determined to make sure this was someone else’s problem.
“We are doing something, Bay,” Landon said, patting my arm. “We’re watching. Someone should start timing this little interlude, because it’s been going on for a while now and he doesn’t appear to be losing steam.”
“You’re a complete and total sex fiend,” I hissed, my temper flaring. “I … .” I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence because my attention was drawn to the sky as a shadow passed across the moon.
There was no mistaking what I saw this time. It was clearly a man flying over the field behind the house. He wasn’t wearing a cape or anything – because that would simply be ridiculous – but he was wearing a hoodie.
“Oh, well, there’s something you don’t see every day,” Thistle intoned, dragging her attention from the sex freaks in the car to the man floating in the sky. “What the … ?”
“Okay,�
�� Landon said, bobbing his head. “This time I see it. I believe you.”
“I told you!”
This day just kept getting weirder.
I wish up was down, because life is a lot more fun when your shirt is over your head and your boobs are on display. There’s nothing that’s not funny when you let your boobs out to play.
– Twila Winchester, age 20, when explaining why she didn’t want to get a job that requires wearing a bra
Seven
“Is that … ?” Clove’s mouth dropped open as she tipped her dark head to the side.
“All he’s missing is a cape,” Thistle noted. “Why do you think he’s wearing a hoodie?”
“That’s your question?” Landon was incredulous. “Why aren’t you more worried about the fact that he’s flying? Forget the freaking hoodie.”
“Maybe that’s his superhero costume,” I suggested, ignoring Landon’s outburst. “Maybe he’s Hipster Man, able to leap tall buildings with fits of melancholy.”
Despite the serious nature of the situation, Landon let loose with a loud belly laugh. “At least your sense of humor is still intact. That doesn’t change the fact that we have a situation. How are we supposed to explain the guy flying over the property?”
I shrugged. “Maybe it’s a group dream.”
“Okay, Bay, I know I doubted you, but let’s not turn on each other.” Landon rolled his eyes until they landed on the car. The rocking had stopped and the two inhabitants appeared to be pulling on clothing. “Well, at least this nightmare is over.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when the sedan’s door opened and Mrs. Leery tumbled out. Her face was flushed with more than chilly color, and she giggled when she realized we were staring at her. “Oh, well, hi.”
“Hi,” Thistle intoned, widening her eyes. “How is your afternoon?”
“It’s splendid. Thank you for asking.”
I had no idea how she managed to maintain her manners given the fact that six people were staring at her – and her blouse was on backward – but she didn’t appear to be bothered in the least.
“So … um … do you do this often?” I wasn’t sure why I asked the question, but I was desperate to keep the conversation moving rather than fall into a pit of uncomfortable silence.
“Not really.” Mrs. Leery smoothed her hair. “I think it must be the weather or something. We were at the new wishing well and I made a wish that things would be like they used to when we were younger. I told Stan about the wish and … bing, bang, boom … things were suddenly like they used to be.”
“We saw the bang and the boom,” Landon offered dryly.
“I’m pretty sure we saw the bing, too,” Sam added. “I know I did. I was out here waiting for you guys by myself for what felt like a really long time.”
“Oh, well, we’re not modest.” Mrs. Leery flashed a smile as her husband joined her on the pavement. “Are you ready to go in for some appetizers?”
“Most definitely.” Mr. Leery’s smile was smug. “Then I was thinking we could take a nice walk after dinner, maybe check out that greenhouse. How does that sound?”
“Oh, it sounds divine.” Mrs. Leery’s voice took on a breathy quality that made my skin itch.
“Don’t go in that greenhouse,” Thistle warned. “That’s Aunt Tillie’s private spot. If she catches you in there … .”
“What? She’ll want to join in?”
That sounded more horrifying than the things Aunt Tillie really would do to the rambunctious couple. “Let’s just say you won’t like it and leave it at that,” I replied. “Maybe you should try doing it in your room. I’m just spitballing here, but that might be fun, too.”
“That doesn’t sound fun at all,” Mrs. Leery said, her mouth tipping down at the corners. “But it’s a big inn. I’m sure we’ll find a private place to … bond.”
“Yes, well … .” I pressed my eyes shut as I watched them go, my stomach tumbling. “I’m going to have nightmares.”
“I think it’s kind of sweet,” Landon countered. “That’s how I see us in forty years.”
I slid a sidelong look in his direction. “You think we’ll be doing it in a car in the middle of a parking lot?”
“Sweetie, a man can dream whatever he wants to dream.” Landon poked my side before turning his full attention to the field at the back of the house. “What are we going to do about Hipster Man? I was considering going out there and trying to talk to him, but it’s cold and I don’t really want to yell.”
“Plus, no one wants to be the schmuck talking to a flying hipster,” Thistle offered. “Maybe you should call Chief Terry. We can turn this into his problem.”
“Chief Terry doesn’t want to deal with a flying man,” I pointed out. “He likes to pretend that he doesn’t know about our magic. Plus, well, he’ll blame us for this. You know I don’t like it when he yells.”
“That’s because you’re a baby,” Thistle chided. “I’ll call him. How hard can it be? It’s not as if we caused this.”
“That we know of,” Landon interjected. “There are four witches unaccounted for. We know none of you cast this spell. We don’t know the people inside didn’t do it.”
He had a point, still … . “No. This has to be something else. I don’t think any of us did it. I think it’s the wishing well.”
Landon arched a dubious eyebrow. “The wishing well? How do you figure that?”
I shrugged. “You heard Mrs. Leery. She tossed a coin in the wishing well because she wanted to go back in time. Suddenly she’s having sex in a car and looking to jump her husband in the greenhouse. That can’t be a coincidence.”
“Unless it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Landon countered. “Maybe she wished it and then made it happen. Women are wily that way.”
“Women are wily that way?” I was fairly certain that was an insult. “You can’t possibly blame Mrs. Leery for this. Mr. Leery is the one who had to … you know … rise to the occasion. Why isn’t it his fault?”
“Because everyone knows that men are merely pawns when it comes to women and their whims,” Landon replied, unruffled. “Women make us do bad things. It’s a fact … that I just made up.”
I slapped his arm and shook my head. “We’ll talk about this later. We need to focus on the guy flying over the property right now. How do you suggest we get him down?”
“Landon could shoot him,” Thistle suggested, pressing a button on her phone and shoving it in my direction. “Here. You talk to him.”
“Who am I talking to?” Somehow I’d managed to lose track of the conversation.
“Chief Terry.”
I balked. “Why do I have to talk to Chief Terry?”
“Because you’re his favorite and he never yells at you.” Thistle’s smile was impish when she locked gazes with Landon. “Where did we land on you shooting him out of the air?”
“I’m not doing that,” Landon barked, annoyed. “That’s murder.”
“I think you’re afraid that he really is a superhero and the bullet will bounce off of him and he’ll come after you,” Thistle challenged.
“I can’t even talk to you when you say things like that.” Landon made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat as he planted his hands on his hips. “I knew we should’ve gone to bed for the entire afternoon.”
“This still would be happening even if we went to bed,” I pointed out, my heart rolling as I waited for Chief Terry to pick up the other end of the call.
“Yes, but we wouldn’t know about it because we’d be in bed.”
“Hello?” Chief Terry sounded frustrated when he answered the phone. I swallowed hard to center myself before speaking.
“It’s Bay.”
“Hey, sweetheart, I can’t really talk right now,” Chief Terry said. “We have a … thing … going on downtown.”
“Well, we kind of have a thing going on here, too,” I said. “We have a guy flying over the property … and he’s not using a plane.”
Chief Terry was either so distracted he didn’t comprehend my words or so scattered he didn’t care. “Yeah, well I have a group of high schoolers trying to string up Nelson Lyons and burn him at the stake because they claim he’s a witch. I’m pretty sure my thing is bigger than your thing.”
He had a point. “Um … Landon and I will be there in ten minutes. Where are you?”
“I TOLD YOU this was wonky, but you didn’t listen to me,” I complained, scuffing my shoes against the pavement as Landon and I walked toward the diner a few minutes later. “You made jokes and thought it was funny that I would always have a special spot in his heart. Now look what’s happened!”
“Calm down, Bay,” Landon urged, his voice tinged with weariness. The earlier delight at watching Hipster Man fly over the property dissipated pretty quickly once we hit his Explorer. “I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for all of this.”
“You think there’s a rational explanation for that?” I pointed at the stack of kindling and branches in the middle of the town square. Someone was clearly readying for a bonfire. “Chief Terry said the other kids were trying to burn Nelson at the stake.”
“Does that mean they think he’s a witch?”
I shrugged. “I can’t see another reason to do it. I told you this would happen.”
“You’re full of the ‘I told you sos’ tonight,” Landon grumbled. “It’s not a very attractive quality.”
“Says the guy who could spend an entire week waxing poetic about bacon and how it changed his life,” I grumbled.
“That’s a true story.”
“Whatever.” I jerked open the diner door, widening my eyes when I saw the melee inside. Chief Terry stood in the center of a rowdy bunch of high school students, his arms stretched out to maintain an open spot for himself. Not all of the students were female, as I expected. “What’s going on?” I had to yell to be heard through the din.
“Apparently the senior class believes Nelson is a witch,” Chief Terry replied, keeping his arm around Nelson’s neck as he shoved back one of the overzealous male students. “They want to rid Hemlock Cove of the scourge that is rampant teenage hormones. I’m considering letting them do it.”
Make A Witch Page 6
