by Sarah Morgan
She’d thought she was doing well.
Only now, feeling her heart hammering hard against her chest, she knew that she wasn’t doing well at all.
He affected her just as much as he ever had.
‘Sorry I’m a bit late.’ He was wearing cut-off shorts and a soft, loose T-shirt that had obviously been washed a million times. His jaw was dark with stubble, his eyes were tired, and Kyla thought she’d never seen a sexier man in her life.
‘Late? That’s a real city-boy remark. I don’t think you can be late for a picnic on a beach.’ Logan handed him a beer. ‘Here. You can drink. I’m on call tonight.’
Ethan took the beer with a nod of thanks. ‘I hope you have a better night than I did.’
Logan gave a wry smile and glanced at his daughter. ‘I probably won’t, actually, but for different reasons. I gather you were up several times.’
‘For a small island, they certainly keep you busy,’ Ethan drawled, lifting the beer to his lips, and Kyla found herself watching as he drank.
That mouth had been on hers. Those hands had—
Ethan caught her gaze and lowered the beer slowly, his eyes on hers. Neither of them spoke and the tension rose between them until Kyla was aware of nothing but him. She couldn’t have looked away if she’d tried, and she sensed that he was experiencing the same inner struggle.
And then Kirsty crawled into her lap and reached for her hair.
‘Ow.’ The spell broken, Kyla gently prised open Kirsty’s chubby fist and removed her hair. ‘We need to teach you a new trick.’
To her surprise, Ethan put down his beer and leaned towards Kirsty. ‘I’ll take her.’ He dropped down onto his haunches and smiled at the little girl.
‘Fancy a paddle in the waves?’
Kirsty looked uncertain and when Ethan scooped her gently into his arms she went stiff and turned to look at Logan.
‘She’s a one-man woman,’ Logan said smugly, reaching out a hand and smoothing his daughter’s silky blonde curls to reassure her, but Ethan spoke softly to the child, pointed to a passing seagull, and Kirsty’s face broke into an approving smile.
She forgot her reservations about the tall, dark stranger and with a gurgle of enthusiasm she grabbed a hunk of Ethan’s hair in her fist.
‘You’re in favour, Ethan,’ Evanna said cheerfully, reaching for the breadsticks. ‘She only pulls the hair out of people she really loves.’
Ethan winced and extracted himself from that deadly grip, his dark eyes amused. ‘Can I take her to the sea?’
‘Of course. She loves it. Did you make any of your peanut chicken, Eva?’ Logan leaned forward and studied the picnic, reaching into a bowl and helping himself to a slice of fresh mango. ‘This looks delicious.’
‘That’s Caribbean fruit salad and it’s for afterwards.’ Evanna pulled the bowl of fruit away from him. ‘Leave it alone. You always try and eat my picnics in the wrong order.’
Judging that this would be a good time to leave the two of them alone for a few minutes, Kyla scrambled to her feet and reluctantly followed Ethan towards the sea.
She didn’t really want to approach him because then he’d think she hadn’t listened to his ‘hands-off’ message. But she badly wanted to give Logan and Evanna some time on their own.
Frustrated that she suddenly felt so uncomfortable on her own territory, she walked a few paces and then stopped, her attention caught by the scene in front of her.
Ethan had removed Kirsty’s shoes and socks and tucked them into the pockets of his shorts. He held her firmly round the waist, dangling her feet gently in the water, dipping her in and out of the breaking waves while she chortled with excitement and kicked her legs.
Kyla smiled at the delight on her niece’s face and then found herself looking at Ethan. And couldn’t look away. She’d seen him smile before, but not like this. That cool, remote look had gone. Instead, his eyes were gentle and he looked more relaxed than she’d ever seen him.
He lifted Kirsty quickly to avoid a slightly bigger wave, laughing and talking to her quietly, clearly enjoying her company.
He wasn’t a man she associated with softness and Kyla watched, transfixed, as the two of them played together, each entertaining the other.
It was only when she tried to swallow that she realised she had a lump in her throat. There was something incredibly moving about watching this strong, reserved man transformed by his interaction with an innocent child.
And then he lifted Kirsty into his arms and she saw something else in his face.
A yearning. And an immense sadness.
Instinctively Kyla moved towards him and then she stopped herself. How could she offer comfort and support when he’d already rejected her? Any gesture like that on her part would be misconstrued. And, anyway, Ethan had already proved on so many occasions that he wasn’t a man to open up and confide. What had he ever told her about himself? Hardly anything.
‘Kyla!’ Evanna’s voice came from behind her. ‘I’ve put some food on a plate for you and we’re ready to eat.’
Kyla took one last, lingering look at Ethan’s broad shoulders and turned away.
She had no idea what was wrong with him but she did know that he wasn’t hers to comfort. He didn’t want what she was offering.
And suddenly she wished she’d never joined them for the picnic.
Maybe, in time, she’d be able to treat Ethan like nothing more than a colleague and friend. Eventually she’d be able to laugh alongside him and enjoy a drink and a casual chat, but she hadn’t reached that stage yet. She was painfully aware of him and it was only by a supreme effort of will that she managed not to just sit and stare at him.
Dropping onto her knees on the picnic rug, she reached for the plate. ‘Thanks for this. I need to eat quickly and make a move.’
‘What’s the hurry?’ Logan handed her some French bread. ‘We’ve hardly seen you all week and it doesn’t get dark for hours. What’s the matter with you? You’re behaving very oddly.’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Well, usually you strip off and swim.’
Usually Ethan wasn’t with them.
She just didn’t know how to behave in his company any more. If she was chatty and friendly then he’d think that she was trying to flirt with him, and if she ignored him he’d think she was heartbroken. She couldn’t win. All she knew was that she needed to put some space between them before she made a fool of herself.
‘I have lots to do in the house. I haven’t had a chance to tidy up this week.’
Logan frowned at her. ‘But you hate tidying up, and—’
‘Logan, shut up,’ Evanna said gently, interrupting him and pushing a plate of chicken into his hands. ‘Stop being so controlling. I’m sure Kyla knows whether she needs an evening at home or not. Why don’t you just eat my chicken? Don’t let Kirsty grab it—I’ve done something different for her.’
Kyla mentally blessed Evanna for her tact and then blushed slightly as she felt Logan’s searching gaze on her face.
He knew.
She could tell by his face that he knew, and she gave a faint smile and a shrug.
Her brother was very astute about other people’s problems, she mused, just not about his own.
When was he going to notice that Evanna was perfect for him?
Ethan returned to the picnic rug and handed Kirsty to Logan. ‘She loves the water.’
‘Of course. She’s a local. She’ll swim like a mermaid by the time she’s four.’ Logan grinned. ‘Just like her Aunty Kyla.’
‘I was three.’
‘And you were always leaping off the rocks into the water. “Keep an eye on your sister Logan.’” Logan gave a wry smile as he mimicked his mother’s voice. ‘You had no sense of danger.’
‘You can’t live your life looking over your shoulder.’ Kyla finished the food on her plate, careful not to look at Ethan. She wanted to swim but not now. Not while he was there. She’d go back to her cottage, wait for them
to finish the picnic and then come down later. ‘I’m off.’ She jumped up and brushed the crumbs from her jeans. ‘Thanks, Evanna, that was delicious. Logan, I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t forget to phone Mum later. She keeps missing you when she calls and she wants to chat about the arrangements for Aunty Meg’s birthday.’
Ethan was watching her. She could feel him watching her and she forced herself to cast a casual glance in his direction and smile.
‘Bye, Ethan.’ She felt as though her face was going to crack. ‘See you tomorrow.’
Walk, Kyla, walk. And no looking back.
There are other men out there, she reminded herself as she made her way across the sand to the cottages. Nice men. Uncomplicated ones.
And one day she was going to meet one of them.
CHAPTER SEVEN
ETHAN hesitated by Kyla’s back door, knowing that he shouldn’t be there. But how could he stay away? She was avoiding her family and he was the cause of it.
She didn’t want to bump into him.
Gritting his teeth, Ethan lifted a hand to knock on the door, but at that moment she wandered into the kitchen. And saw him.
She’d obviously just come out of the shower and was wearing a pair of tiny shorts and a skimpy top, and her hair fell in damp, curling waves over her shoulders. Her feet were bare and her legs long and lightly tanned.
Their eyes held for a long moment and he wondered fleetingly whether she might just ignore him.
But then she walked over and opened the door. ‘Is something the matter? I was just going to bed.’
Bed? She looked like that to go to bed?
Ethan felt his blood pressure rise several notches and suddenly he wished he’d left this visit until the morning. Everything that needed to be said could have been said in the harsh light of day when she was wearing a navy uniform.
Not that her navy uniform did anything to disguise the tempting curve of her bottom.
‘Ethan?’ she prompted him with a frown. ‘What’s the matter?’
He pulled himself together. ‘You’re going to bed? It isn’t even nine o’clock.’
‘I’m tired.’
‘Can I come in?’
Something changed in her eyes. Suddenly they were guarded. Wary. ‘Why?’
‘Because I need to apologise.’ He came straight to the point, his voice rough. ‘And because we need to talk about the other night.’
She didn’t play games—didn’t pretend that she didn’t know what he was talking about. She wasn’t that sort of woman. ‘It was over a week ago, now. It doesn’t matter.’
‘I’ve tried pretending that it doesn’t matter but it hasn’t worked. And it hasn’t worked for you either, has it? I haven’t seen you at Logan’s once this week.’ And he knew she was protecting herself.
From him.
She inhaled sharply. ‘I’ve been busy, Ethan.’
‘Busy avoiding me.’
Her shoulders stiffened. ‘And what if I have? I can read signals. You made your position clear and I’m not a woman who needs to be told anything more than once.’
‘What if I told you that you misread the signals?’
‘I’d say you were lying.’ She tilted her head to one side. ‘I know rejection when I see it.’
‘No, you don’t. That wasn’t rejection.’ Suddenly it was imperative that she understood that much at least. ‘That wasn’t rejection, Kyla.’
‘Then my fluency in body language is less accomplished than I thought, because it certainly felt like rejection.’
He didn’t associate her with coldness and yet her expression was anything but encouraging. He jabbed his fingers through his hair. ‘It wasn’t rejection. Far from it. But things are complicated.’
‘And I certainly wouldn’t want to make them more complicated—goodnight, Ethan.’ She made a move to close the door but he stopped her easily and moved inside.
‘I’ll leave when you’ve heard me out. There’s something I need to tell you. I probably should have told you earlier but I couldn’t.’
She hesitated and then let go of the door but she didn’t close it. ‘All right. I’m listening. You’re going to tell me that the kiss was a mistake.’
‘It wasn’t a mistake. I just didn’t plan for it to happen.’
‘And do you plan everything that happens in your life?’
‘No. But there are things that I need to explain to you before we go any further with this.’
The chemistry was there again, pulsing between them, drawing them in. The wind was blowing outside and yet in her kitchen the air was thick, hot and pulsing with expectation. Suddenly his throat was so dry he could hardly speak and he guessed she was feeling the same way because she swallowed hard.
‘You don’t have to explain anything to me.’
‘Yes.’ The dryness made his voice hoarse. ‘Yes, I do, Kyla. It’s important.’
‘Then tell me.’
He almost laughed. Tell me. She made it sound so easy and yet now the moment had come he had no idea what to say. He didn’t know where to begin. He wasn’t even sure where the beginning was.
‘Are you married?’ Her softly spoken question shocked him.
‘Why would you think that?’
‘Because I suppose it’s the one thing that would stop this thing between us going any further.’
‘I’m not married.’
‘Then nothing else matters.’ She sounded so certain. So confident about everything. And she made life sound simple. ‘Ethan, you don’t need to worry. Or feel guilty. This isn’t right for you and—’
‘It’s right for me.’ He growled the words against her mouth because his hands had reached out and hauled her against him even while his brain had been sending out warnings. He ignored the warnings and kissed her.
Later. He’d worry about everything else later.
Her arms slid round his neck and he felt her slender body press against the hardness of his. He was hot and aroused and more desperate for this woman than he’d been for any other in his life.
He forgot all the reasons why he shouldn’t be doing this.
He forgot that she was probably going to hate him when she found out what he was doing there.
He just needed to answer his body’s screaming need to possess her in every way.
His hands were on the rounded curve of her bottom when they heard hammering on the door.
Ethan didn’t even lift his head but the hammering intensified and she pushed at his chest and he broke the kiss with a fluent curse.
‘Yes.’ Her flushed cheeks and faint smile told him that she agreed with his assessment of the timing. ‘Not good. But I need to see who that is.’
Ethan ran a hand over the back of his neck and hoped that whoever it was could be despatched quickly. ‘It’s pretty late. Are you expecting anyone?’
‘No. But around here people just call. Especially if they’re in trouble.’ She gave a frown, straightened her top and walked out of the kitchen towards her front door. ‘Aisla?’
Ethan heard the surprise in her voice and wondered what on earth Aisla was doing calling so late in the evening with a storm brewing. Was it her diabetes again?
And then she spoke and he heard the raw terror in the woman’s voice. ‘It’s Fraser. He’s gone.’
‘Gone where?’
‘I don’t know. He told me he was going to Hamish’s for a sleepover but I needed to speak to Hamish’s mother about a knitting order, so I rang and she told me that he wasn’t with her. And Hamish had no idea where he was.’
Kyla frowned. ‘Well, he’s an imaginative boy. He’s just playing.’
‘But it will be dark soon.’ Aisla covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head. ‘I’ve told him over and over again that he can’t just go off on his own, but he’s so independent and he sneaks off when I’m not looking. I’m a terrible mother.’
‘You’re not a terrible mother,’ Kyla said immediately, ‘and try not to panic. He’s probably gone
to tea with someone else and forgotten to phone. Have you called Paul Weston? Henry Mason? They might know.’
‘I’ve called them both and they haven’t seen him.’
‘Then I’ll give Ann Carne a ring,’ Kyla said immediately, reaching for the phone. ‘She might have an idea what was in his head today.’
Ethan walked forward, ignoring the potential consequences of revealing his presence in Kyla’s cottage. ‘Where else does he normally play?’
Aisla looked distracted and her eyes were full of fear. ‘I don’t know—the beach? That’s his favourite place. He’s always sitting there, dreaming about Vikings and shipwrecks and making up stories in his head.’
Kyla came off the phone. ‘Ann Carne said that he was in school until lunchtime and then said he had to go home because he had a doctor’s appointment. He gave her a note.’
Aisla stared at her. ‘I didn’t give him a note. And Hamish didn’t mention that he hadn’t been at school this afternoon. Oh, God…’
‘There’s going to be a perfectly reasonable explanation.’ Kyla slipped her feet into the trainers that she’d left lying by the door and reached for a coat from the peg. ‘We just need to think logically and not panic. But I think, given the fact that it’s going to be dark soon, we should phone Nick Hillier and tell him what’s happening. He’ll get the whole island searching, if necessary. In the meantime we’ll take a look ourselves. I’ll go down onto the beach and take a look around.’
Ethan stepped forward, reflecting on the fact that they all turned to Kyla in a crisis. ‘I’ll just go next door and grab a jacket and my car keys. Then I’ll come with you. Two are better than one.’
‘Go back to the house,’ Kyla told Aisla. ‘That way, if he turns up at home, you can let us know. I’ll keep my mobile switched on. Call Nick and fill him in.’
Ethan grabbed what he needed from his cottage and then rejoined Kyla as she walked out of the back door and down onto the beach. Angry streaks were splashed across the darkening sky and the waves lifted and crashed against the rocks at the far end of the bay.
‘The storm is closing in. Is it worth calling the coastguard? If Fraser was walking on the cliff path, he could have been swept into the sea.’ Ethan stared at the boiling, churning water, trying to not to think about the young boy being devoured by those waves.
