by Grace, M. J.
Running towards Tiny still screaming, with my heart pounding I glance back, to witness the pair of them hanging onto each other, laughing hysterically. Coming to a halt, I turn, watch and listen as they congratulate themselves on “the sting”. The best one yet apparently. How Razor had brought the change of clothes for AJ. Yes, it appears they had great pleasure in setting me up, and they are definitely proud of themselves.
Feeling my lips twitching, I bite back my smile, and turn to a smiling Tiny, raising my eyebrows. Witnessing this, he briefly frowns until he sees me wink, and then quickly clears his expression.
Turning towards Razor and AJ, who it has to be said, are still in their own little “aren’t we clever world”. I position a hand on my chest, and start to breathe heavily, whilst reaching out with my other hand to grab Tinys arm.
“AJ!” shouts Tiny, with I have to say, a very good impression of panic in his voice.
As I bend slightly forward, as if trying to catch my breath, I hear AJ swear as he rushes towards me, shouting to Razor to call for help. I wait until he almost reaches me, before straightening up with a grin upon my face.
“Gotcha.” I smirk.
AJ halts and stares at me in disbelief. I’m not sure if it’s because I retaliated the way I did, or the fact that he fell for it. Either way, he is struck dumb, and I stand and wait for a response with what I hope to be an innocent expression on my face.
“Not funny Birdie.” He finally bites out, frowning.
“Oh come on!” I exclaim. “What? You can give it but you can’t take it?”
“I thought you were ill.” He snaps.
I’m stunned. I can’t believe he has taken it this way, so I find myself standing and staring at him, struggling for the right words to say.
“Gotcha!” He suddenly says smiling at me, and once again I am on the receiving end of his sense of humour. I look from AJ to Razor and then Tiny, observing them all staring at their feet, lips twitching.
“So you play dirty?” I state glaring at AJ, tilting my head to the side. “Retaliation shall be so sweet honey. Better watch your back.” I say with a sweet smile. “Now any chance of you feeding me? I’m starving.”
“Sure babe.” Replies AJ, throwing an arm around my shoulders and turning me towards the exit. “Let’s go feed my girl.”
Because we had entered the attraction via the back door, we were able to leave the same way, and head back to the hotel without any of the disturbances we encountered at the London Eye. Although there are a few pressmen standing outside the hotel when we arrive, so once again, we are flanked by Tiny and Wade as we make our way inside.
Heading towards the lifts, AJ has his arm around my shoulders, and I have my hand tucked into the back pocket of his jeans, and we are discussing the plans for the rest of the day. We are going to eat in our suite, then AJ needs to rest up for a couple of hours before the show tonight. So Jen and I are going to do some shopping. Then later, we will all meet up, before heading to the arena for the last show.
They are flying over to Paris the next day, and once again I will be saying goodbye for another couple of weeks, until we meet up in LA at the end of the tour.
Whilst standing waiting for the lift to arrive, I hear a commotion behind us, and turn to see what is happening. It appears the press are interested in someone else staying at the hotel. Well good, if that takes the focus off us, all the better. I hear the ping of the lift arriving and the swish of the doors opening at the same time my eyes alight on a face I recognise all too well. A face I was hoping I’d never have to see this close; a face I definitely didn’t want to see in the same hotel as AJ.
Melody Forrester.
I look at AJ as he guides us into the lift, to see his mouth is tight, and his expression guarded. He knew, I can tell. He knew she was here. I also realise, that she is the woman I saw in the foyer when I arrived yesterday.
As we travel upwards in silence, I can feel the tension in the air. Looking towards Tiny, I see him watching the numbers light up as we go higher. Why? We are on the top floor for heaven’s sake. Of course he is avoiding my gaze. Just as AJ is.
“AJ...” I start only to be interrupted.
“Not here Birdie.” He bites out.
“But…”
“Birdie please, not here. Just hold on until we’re in our room, okay?”
I want to shout that no, it’s not okay. I don’t want to wait. I want answers now. Why is she here? If he knew she was here, why didn’t he say? And most importantly, has he seen her? But I can tell by the expression on his face that he isn’t going to communicate anything until we are alone. I guess in a way he’s right. I don’t want Tiny listening in on our conversation; we have little privacy as it is.
We exit the lift and Tiny turns to the right, but not before I witness a silent look pass between him and AJ.
Turning left, we enter our suite and throwing my bag and coat onto the back of a chair, I turn to AJ waiting for him to speak.
Closing the door behind him, he throws the key card onto a side table and with hands on hips silently stares at me.
“You knew didn’t you? You knew she was here?”
“Yes.” Is his reply not denying it, taking my breath away. I’m scared to ask the next question, but I know I have to. If I don’t, it will eat away at me, festering until it’s so embedded that it will poison my mind.
“Have you spent time with her?”
“Yes.” Is his quick reply and it feels almost like a physical punch to my gut. So much so, that I take an involuntary step backwards, before managing to control myself.
“It’s not what you think Birdie.” He announces. “She’s staying at the hotel. I didn’t know she would be here, but when she found out I was here, she asked if we could meet for lunch. It would have seemed petty if I had turned her down.”
“You should have told me.”
“Why? If I had told you, what would you have done Birdie? You’d have freaked out like you’re doing now. Besides, I thought she would have left by now, so it wouldn’t have come into the equation.”
“Freaked out?” I quietly repeat back to him.
“Okay, maybe that’s the wrong phrase to use, but I’m being honest here babe. Please, listen to what I’m saying.”
Staring at him, I realise that I still know so little about him. I trusted him totally. Trusted him like I haven’t trusted anyone in years. I let him in, or should I say he forced his way into my life, promising to be my protection. Thinking it over, I feel it’s all been a big ruse to keep it from me, including Tiny if his expression was anything to go by yesterday. Even Razor making a comment about making him behave. God, if Razor knew, did Jen? Has even my best friend been in on this deception?
“You’re being honest?” I scoff. “You once asked me to always be honest with you, do you remember AJ?” Seeing his nod of confirmation I continue.
“Well, I’m going to be honest with you now. Omitting to tell me something, thinking I wouldn’t find out is not being honest, that’s deceitful. I would have thought better of you for telling me the truth straight away. I would have respected you for that. I’m not saying I’d have liked it, but I’d have dealt with it. I also wouldn’t be feeling as I do now.”
“How do you feel Birdie?”
“Betrayed. Betrayed and hurt and angry and not to mention deceived. In fact, I feel so angry AJ, I’m leaving. I’m going to go and cool down, and think things through. Maybe you should do the same while I’m gone.”
“Birdie, stay. Running away won’t solve anything. We need to talk this through.”
“I’m not running away AJ, far from it. I’m going to face up to reality.”
“Reality?”
“Yes. I’m going to think about whether this relationship can realistically work. Whether I feel I am going to be able to trust you.”
“Babe you’re blowing this all out of proportion. Please stay, let’s talk.”
“Blowing it out of proportion?” I ec
ho stunned, before bending forwards at the waist. “You know AJ. You know what I’ve been through. So maybe yes, I am just a little bit pissed off with you, but I feel I have a right to be so, and I suggest that maybe you think about that while I’m gone.”
Grabbing my coat and bag I head towards the door. I have no idea where I’m going; I just know I have to escape out of here, find some space and some quiet, and gather my thoughts.
AJ doesn’t try to stop me, but as he moves aside, he calls my name, asking me once again to stop. Totally ignoring him, I head towards the lift and notice Tiny standing sentry against unwanted visitors to the floor. He obviously didn’t stop Melody Forrester, so she obviously wasn’t unwanted.
I press the call button and stand waiting, conscious of Tiny standing behind me, his hand to his ear as he listens into his earpiece. The doors open and I walk inside and observe as Tiny makes to walk in behind me.
“Oh no!” I exclaim, holding my hand up in front of me at a stop position.
“Jorgi!” he says through gritted teeth, then stands with an exasperated expression on his face as the doors close on him.
On reaching the foyer I walk to the reception desk glancing towards the entrance way, checking to see if there are any press lurking outside. On seeing a couple, I ask the receptionist if she can organise a taxi for me, so that I can make a quick exit. She calls the doorman over and on recognising me, he doesn’t waste any time and before I know it, I’m ensconced in the back of a black cab and moving into the busy traffic.
Hearing my phone ring I reach into my bag and look at the screen, and seeing that it’s AJ, I turn it off.
“Where to love?” calls the driver over his shoulder.
Not knowing London at all, I feel slightly foolish.
“Can you take me somewhere quiet, out of the way, where I can buy a coffee?”
“I know just the place love. I’ll have you there in a jiffy.”
*****
It doesn’t take long, and I’m sitting in a little coffee shop in a trendy part of town, tucked down a little alleyway. Holding my coffee cup with both hands, not feeling the heat as it burns my fingers. My mind drifting over the words passed between us. Surely he can understand why I feel the way I do? He can’t be so obtuse.
I’m not sure how long I’ve sat here, but its three coffees later and I have made the decision to try and overcome this. To try and trust, that what he has told me is the truth.
Deciding to call a taxi to take me back to the hotel, I ask the girl behind the counter if she can give me a number, as I take my phone out of my bag and turn it on. I grimace as I see endless missed calls, texts and voicemails from AJ and Jen. Feeling a pang of guilt that I hadn’t given a thought that Jen would be worried, I decide to call her first. It only rings once before it’s picked up by an irate Jen.
“Where the hell are you Boo?” she shouts.
“I don’t know, and stop shouting.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? For crying out loud, please tell me you’re in a safe place.”
“Yes, I’m in a safe place. I’m in a coffee shop.”
“You’re in a coffee shop?” She repeats. “Do you realise that half the team have been searching for you? AJ is pacing the floor, and we have all been worried sick.”
“I’m perfectly alright for God sake. I am an adult.”
“Yes, but you are now also an adult in the public eye, which makes you vulnerable where your safety is concerned. Do you not comprehend that?” She asks exasperated. I tell her the address and listen as she passes the information onto someone in the room with her.
“Stay where you are. Tiny is on his way.”
“I haven’t been gone that long Jen. I told AJ I was going somewhere to think, and that’s what I did.”
“Yes Boo, but that was nearly four hours ago. Four hours where your phone was turned off and no one knew where you were. Look honey, I know what happened…..”
“Did you know she was here and that he saw her?” I interrupt.
“No. Of course not.”
I’m not going to tell Jen that I think Razor knew. What would be the point? I have no proof, and all it will do is start an argument between them. Jen orders me to stay where I am so Tiny can pick me up, and before I have a chance to speak, she’s hung up on me.
With a sigh, I start to listen to some of AJs voicemails. All of them apologising, begging me to come back or to ring him and let him know I am safe. The texts holding the same content. Feeling guilty I call him, but the phone goes straight to voicemail. Looking at my watch I see that it has grown quite late, so maybe he is at the arena preparing for the concert.
I sit waiting for Tiny to arrive, but I don’t have to wait long. I look up as the bell above the door chimes, to find him filling the doorway with a definite frown on his face. Not bothering to come in, he stands with his back to the door, holding it open, waiting for me. So I gather up my bag and phone, and walk towards him.
“Hello Tiny.”
“Jorgi.”
“I’m sorry for making you worry Tiny.” I whisper.
“Please Jorgi, let’s just get to the car.”
Following me outside, he gestures for me to turn right and I see the Range Rover at the end of the walkway.
“Is AJ at the arena?” I ask.
Receiving no reply, as we near the car I glance at his face. Oh boy! On seeing his expression, I have the impression that he really is most displeased with me. I decide not to ask any more questions, as he opens the car door for me.
This is when I receive the answer to my question, because there in the back of the car is AJ. An AJ who seems very much relieved, but also apprehensive as I enter the car.
Reaching behind me for the seat belt, I buckle myself in and turn towards him.
“Are you okay?” he probes.
“Yes.”
“We haven’t much time. We’re on the way to the arena, but please Birdie, please believe me when I say I’m sorry. Nothing happened; we had lunch. I knew if I didn’t agree to meet her, then she may have caused some sort of scene, possibly with press involved. It was a damage control lunch.”
Turning towards him, I see by his eyes that he is being sincere.
But he still doesn’t understand why I got so upset.
"AJ. It wasn’t the fact that you met with her that upset me, although I admit I don’t like the idea. It’s the fact that you hid the fact from me. That alone made it seem like a sordid little secret. Something to be kept from me. You ask me to always be honest with you.” On seeing him nod I continued. “You ask that of me, but it seems you are unwilling to accord me the same consideration. Can you understand how that makes me feel AJ? To feel that I can’t trust you to be honest with me.” I watch as he drops his head down, chin to chest, briefly closing his eyes, before looking back up at me.
“You’re right. I didn’t think of it that way, and for that I am truly sorry. I promise Birdie, with all that I am, from now on no secrets, total honesty. Please forgive me, I understand that I did wrong, but I did have our best interests in mind.”
Looking into his eyes, I see sincerity and honesty. I believe that he is telling me the truth. Casting my eyes over his face, I see the worry in his expression, the strain over the last few hours having taken their toll.
“Okay.”
“Okay? You forgive me?”
“Yes, I forgive you, but AJ please, total honesty, even if you think it’s going to hurt me. If that’s the case we deal with it. I can’t have a relationship based on secrets.”
Quickly releasing his seat belt and my own, AJ gathers me into his arms and buries his face in my neck. Holding me close for several moments, neither of us speaking. Both of us just relishing the moment of just holding each other, breathing the other in. Raising his head, he kisses me with the sweetest kiss this side of heaven. Soft, gentle, thoughtful, and longing.
Feeling the car come to a halt, I look out of the window, and see we have arrived at the a
rena. Reaching to gather my things, it comes to mind that it’s later than I thought.
“I’m sorry. You’re late, and it’s my fault.”
“We aren’t that late, it doesn’t matter, but even if we were I wouldn’t care. Just one more thing Birdie; please, promise me you won’t ever go running off without security with you.”
“But honey, I’m not always going to have Tiny or someone with me.”
“I’ll rephrase that. Promise me that if the security are around that you use them, and not go off on your own.”
Studying his face, I comprehend his need for this reassurance, and give it to him.
“I promise.”
On hearing my words, with a smile on his face, he grabs my hand and we exit the car and make our way to the stage door protected by Tiny and Wade.
As soon as we’re inside, with a hasty soft peck on the lips, AJ leaves me to go and prepare for the concert, running down the corridor towards his dressing room, as Tiny shows me into a room where I discover Jen impatiently waiting for me.
No sooner have I cleared the door, she is in my arms, hugging me so tightly that I can hardly breathe.
“Don’t ever do that to me again.” She whispers, giving me a hug. “I’m sorry, I won’t.”
Leading me over to a sofa, we sit together and she tells me what went on over the last few hours. No sooner had I left the hotel room than AJ had called Tiny, and asked him to go with me. On hearing that I had already left without him, in fact flatly refusing Tinys attendance, AJ had gone into a panic. After trying to contact me by phone, he had gone into full find Jorgi mode. He’d called down to reception, to ask if they had heard where I asked the taxi to take me. He had called Jen and asked her if she knew of anywhere I would go. Of course, Jen had wanted to know what had happened, that was so bad to make me walk out on him. AJ had very quickly, but briefly explained, to which apparently Jen had called him “a stupid son of a bitch.” Evidently AJ had agreed with her, and as they had no leads, all they could do was wait it out, until I either turned my phone back on or returned.
“I’ve never seen AJ in such a state Boo. He didn‘t know where to turn. He was even talking about delaying the concert. He truly loves you.”
