by Shannyn Leah
“Mother, do you hear yourself? Grandma is in the ER! She had a heart attack. She could have died. She could have died.”
“Next time I want my money, I guess you’ll think twice before taking your sweet time getting it to me.” Her mother narrowed her heartless eyes on Cheyenne. “If your undisclosed abortion didn’t cost you your job I bet finding out you seduced your mother’s boyfriend would.”
Cheyenne’s body constricted at the admission. “You leaked the story?”
Her mother’s satisfactory look answered her question. She had.
Fury, at her mother’s selfishness, overtook Cheyenne and her next words came out surprisingly forceful and confident, a way she’d never spoken to her mother. “The Lilith House is not just my job, it’s a good organization for girls who need assistance. Some are living on the streets and other’s with dysfunctional families and need a safe place to sort out their future. And, you let your greed corrupt you enough to taint the house and what it represents.”
“Speaking of representation, should I also mention your indiscretion runs in the family. Lilith died because she couldn’t keep her legs closed. I saved you from the same fate.”
“You know how you could have saved me, by stopping your sick boyfriend from entering my bedroom. Or Lilith’s bedroom. It wasn’t consensual and you turned a blind-eye for your next fix. You know who killed Lilith Mom, you did.”
Karen’s unsteady hand lifted in the direction of Cheyenne’s face, but she caught it. “Go to Grandma’s.” She released her hand.
“Maybe if you had died the last time we were here I would have been compensated.”
Tears threatened to spill over Cheyenne’s eyes and she blinked them away, refusing to give her mother the pleasure of making her cry.
Karen cursed.
Cheyenne felt a hand on her shoulder, knew the touch, and leaned into it. After her mother’s harsh words, Booker’s love soothed over the parts she’d never admit her mother’s words stung.
“Here.” Booker’s gruff voice boomed hatred. His hand moved over her shoulder handing Karen a set of keys. “Go back to the house.”
Cheyenne held her breath, waiting for her mom to argue with him, but she snatched the keys and said nothing.
“And take him with you.” Booker nodded at her mother’s newest fling, now making his way to them.
Karen snarled at Booker, said nothing and stalked away, shouting at her beau as they left.
Cheyenne wiped her eyes. She couldn’t face Booker, knowing he’d heard her mother’s death wish.
His hands gently ran up and down her arms, not forcing or urging her to turn around. He pulled her back flush against his front, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head.
“What do you need?” he asked.
You. This. Grandma to be okay.
“Besides getting out of the cold?” Cheyenne lifted her hands and covered his. Being in his arms was where she needed to be right now.
Booker silently stood with her without questions, without prying. He let her gather her emotions before returning to the waiting room where she had to be strong for Lily.
***
WHEN CHEYENNE AND Lily were able to visit Millie, Booker used the time to make arrangements at Rose Cottage B&B, a nearby bed and breakfast, for the four of them to crash for the night.
Eddie joined him as he hung the phone up.
“The girls are visiting her right now,” Eddie said. “She’s not awake, but not for long. Family only.” His gloomy tone at the end of the sentence made Booker really look at him. The idea of Eddie and Millie as a couple was still too fresh but he realized his concern was sincere.
Booker wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and said, “She’s okay.”
Eddie nodded, overtiredness wearing on his face, his lips drawn down—no fight left in him. “I know,” the old man said. “Being here, in this hospital, brings back other memories…” He let the words trail off but Booker didn’t need an explanation. He remembered how hard Ellen’s death had been on Eddie.
“I know,” Booker said, giving him one last pat on the shoulder before shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “I booked a couple rooms at a bed and breakfast just down the road—got the last ones. For the four of us. I thought going back to the house with Cheyenne’s mom might be worse than good.”
“I think you’re right, boy.”
“Are you okay with that?”
Eddie nodded.
“Thanks, Grandpa.”
The man elbowed his side. “I did it for Cheyenne. We all saw her discomfort at Karen’s presence.”
Ten minutes later Cheyenne and Lily exited the emergency. Although looking wiped, a layer of relief had peeled from them.
“There’s nothing more we can do here,” Cheyenne said.
Booker watched a look of fear shadow her eyes.
“The boy has booked a couple rooms at the Rose Cottage B&B for us. It’s right down the road so we’ll be close.” Eddie’s hands wrung his hand and he forced a smile.
Cheyenne’s thankful eyes shot up to meet Booker’s. “You did?”
“Yes.”
She breathed easier. “Thank you.”
He nodded. “Are you two ready?”
Cheyenne nodded and Booker took her hand as they walked to the door. As they neared the door, Booker looked back and noticed Lily hadn’t moved.
“Lily?” Cheyenne called.
She stared through them and said, “I’m not leaving.”
Cheyenne walked to her, pulling her into her arms. “She’s okay.”
The girl pulled away. “I’m not leaving.”
“Okay,” Cheyenne said.
“Ally said I can stay in the waiting room and if anything happens they’ll come get me.” A small town meant knowing the nurses and doctors by name, attending events with them, and calling them your friend. With that special bond, came special treatment.
Booker wondered if Cheyenne might stay with her, too. He’d have to drop Eddie off at the bed and breakfast but he would certainly come back if she needed him.
Cheyenne gripped Lily’s hands. “If you need me text Booker.” She took Lily’s cell phone and punched at the keyboard. “Text at any hour, okay?”
“Okay.”
Cheyenne watched her walk to the front desk and start up a conversation with the receptionist.
Eddie nudged Booker’s side and then nodded at Cheyenne.
Pushy old man.
Booker waited for her to join them and asked, “Do you want to stay?”
She shook her head. “No.” She smiled sadly at him and he wanted to pull her into his arms the way she had with Lily. But he knew she’d prefer to leave, so he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and the three of them left the hospital.
Chapter Fourteen
CHEYENNE COULDN’T SLEEP. After many failed attempts, lying in a stranger’s bed, and feeling like the room was closed in on her, suffocating her, she crept through the quiet bed and breakfast feeling like the Grinch. The aged wood stairs groaned in protest. The Gone With The Wind lamp in the living room flickered awake when she turned the brass switch. The room stood still, quiet, and for the first time for as long as Cheyenne could remember.
Her eyes dropped low, even if her mind remained on high alert. Finding an empty spot on the ledge of the living room’s bay window, she touched a pink flower of the blooming Christmas cactus.
The outside night rested. There was no wind or snowstorm, unlike every night since she’d arrived. She feared it was the calm before the storm. She anticipated her mother’s presence to blow up like a wild storm: uncontrolled, wild, and leaving a path of destruction.
Worry gripped Cheyenne’s heart. What was Karen’s real reason for coming to Willow Valley and what the outcome might be? Her mother didn’t simply arrive, take her money and leave. No, she would cause havoc as always.
Cheyenne could leave and go back to the city, quit her job and vanish off the grid, get away on
ce again from Karen. She could run. She grunted at the thought of how similar her and Booker were. How were they going to make it together when they both fled at the sight of uneven tracks?
She took a deep breath, not having energy to think about anything more. She’d pay Karen tomorrow morning, and hope she’d leave without bothering Millie. Millie loved her daughter unconditionally, but Cheyenne saw Karen hadn’t changed, knew it to her deepest bone that her mother hadn’t wanted to see Millie for anything more than money. Is this what she’d done year after year? A week ago she’d sold her daughter’s past for another quick buck. Karen was toxic. Always had been and always would be. The faster Cheyenne got rid of her, the better for all of them.
She felt a shift in the room and looked up to see Booker approaching.
“Hey.” He sat down beside her, mimicked her position, bent knees and feet resting on the floor.
“Did I wake you?” she asked, feeling badly that Eddie and Booker had also been forced into a stranger’s home.
Booker shook his head. “You’re quieter than a mouse.”
She tried to smile but her lips ached, so she looked back outside instead. “Thank you for putting us up here for the night.” She spoke in a whisper, not wanting to wake their proprietors. “I’ll cover the rooms.”
He touched her knee and she looked down where his touch scorched heat through the material of her black skinnies. He gently squeezed, massaging his thumb into her skin. “Don’t worry about the money, Cheyenne.” His whisper came out raspy, changing her mood with only that sound “Do you want to talk?”
She shook her head. Her eyes flickered up to his. Talking didn’t interest her tonight. She didn’t want to drag her past into the room with them when his presence already brought so many distracting thoughts to her mind. Cheyenne held his gaze as she touched his hand, watching his eyes glaze over with the same desire.
“Are you sure?” he asked, turning his hand up and wrapping it around hers.
She nodded.
“It’s late. I know you’re tired. I can lie with you.”
She brought his hand to her lips, kissing his palm. Her eyes didn’t leave him. “Take me upstairs.”
He kissed her hand, then leaned in and kissed her forehead, resting his head against hers for a moment. “I’m here when or if you want to talk Cheyenne. There’s no pressure.”
“Thank you.” Right now she only wanted him.
He nodded against her before standing and guiding them to her empty, lonely room. Booker filled the emptiness in her heart and soul and she would tell him, talk to him, love him for the rest of her life. She never planned on running again.
Cheyenne closed the distance between them and pressed her hands against his chest. She rose on her tip toes to meet his hesitant mouth. Worry etched his face after the emotional day, but he was the only thing she needed. Clenching her hands around the material of his shirt, she pulled him closer to her, flicking her tongue against his closed lips until he let in and opened his mouth for her. The room exploded in that moment. She felt his apprehension perish letting desire consume him. Booker’s kiss hardened. He cupped her face with his hands, delving into her mouth…her soul. His hands travelled down her arms, around her back and pulled her flush against him. Before she knew how, her body was hit against the door, and the bang they produced stopped them both short.
Booker’s chest heaved, and his hand pressed flat against the door above her shoulder. His head hung low. When his smouldering grey eyes slowly met hers, the delectable grin he gave her brought about a real smile.
“You’re going to wake King Cranky,” his hoarse whisper kissed her mouth before his thumb trailed across her bottom lip. “That’s the smile I like to see.”
Her face leaned into his touch. “I love you, Booker.” The words were as natural as waking up each morning. “I’m sorry I lied to you back in Oakston. If I could go back to the moment you asked me, I would tell you because I do trust you. More than anyone else in my life.”
He kissed her. “I love the sound of those words out of your mouth,” he said. “I love you too.”
***
LYING TOGETHER IN the aftermath of their lovemaking, Booker let his eyes close to block out the dim light from the lamp on the bedside table. Cheyenne’s steady breathing against him settled a peaceful blanket of ambience over him.
He’d never felt as content as this moment, holding her in his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head with no background insecurities waiting to rear their ugly trickery into his head. There was no fear of betrayal and not desire to run. Content. This was where he was supposed to be,—with this woman—forever.
He’d felt his mind drifting further away when Cheyenne spoke. “I was fifteen when I got pregnant.” He felt her lips kiss his chest before continuing. “I didn’t have friends or boyfriends growing up. I didn’t go out except to school and straight home.” Each sentence brought about a movement of discomfort as she traced her fingers across his chest, and rearranged her legs in his.
He kissed her forehead. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to do this now, or ever. I’m okay. I promise.”
Her head tilted up and he looked down at her beautiful hazel eyes. “I want to.”
“Okay.” He moved her hair away from her forehead planting a kiss in the spot, and giving her time to continue.
She sighed as she lay back on his chest. “Never knowing when my mom would be home, I didn’t dare chance getting caught sneaking out or being late. I was always home in case she was waiting. But most of the time it was just me.”
“Sounds lonely.”
“I liked lonely. The hours my mom and her boyfriends weren’t home were my favorite times. I could do anything and not worry about a mug flying at my head or my legs getting kicked out from under me. I craved lonely.”
He squeezed her side. “I’m sorry.”
Cheyenne shrugged. “My sister, Lilith was sixteen when she got pregnant with Lily. My mom kicked her out of the house and she went to live with my grandma. I remember being jealous that Lilith got to leave to go live with Grandma. I was seven and my jealousy quickly turned to anger. I’d been livid at my sister for promising me she’d return and take me with her. It felt like a lifetime of anger, but it was less than eight months when Lilith died during Lily’s birth.”
Booker stroked her hair, consoling her as his insides reeled with anger. Angry at Karen, at life, but mostly angry at himself. He was an asshole to have walked away from her. He’d assumed the circumstances of her situation had been hard, but he’d never dreamed of a child going through such severe forms of suffering, torment and anguish at the hand of a parent.
“My mom blamed Grandma for Lilith’s death. For years, she repeated that Grandma had let Lilith die because she’d had the baby so young. Not that my mother cared. She didn’t. She likes to fight…as you saw today. And blame everyone for all the hardships of her life.”
He reached under Cheyenne’s chin forcing her to look at him. “You amaze me. Through all that you’ve endured, all you still tolerate from someone I would never be able to speak to again, and you’re still the most generous person I’ve ever met. You’re amazing.”
“I was carrying my mother’s boyfriend’s baby,” Cheyenne said, wincing as the words tumbled from her lips. He saw fear in her eyes as she spoke—probably scared he would fun. “It wasn’t consensual on my part.” Her eyes didn’t sway from him, but all Booker could see red. Anger flooded him with such intensity that he had to stand up. When his feet hit the floor, he was sure the vibration would wake the household.
“Booker?” He heard the panic in her voice and turned to face her. He watched alarm dash across her features.
Shit.
He leaned over the bed, where she sat tense with the sheet clutched to her chest. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I just need a minute.”
“I can stop. Do you want me to stop? I don’t have to tell you. This is why I didn�
��t want to tell you.”
She began searching for more words, but Booker moved to her side of the bed and sat on the edge, pulling her trembling body into his arms. “Cheyenne, sweetheart, I want to hear it all, but I also want to drill that bastard in the face. Was it the guy today?”
She shook her head against his chest. Good, because he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t have stormed out of the bed and breakfast and ripped that bastard from bed to give him one hell of a beating.
“When I found out I was pregnant at fifteen, the first thought was I was going to die. I was too young to have a baby. It was all I knew. Then the second thought was, ‘how do I keep this from my mom?’ I convinced one of the ladies in the apartment to take me to the clinic, signed for me, and that was it. Or so I thought. One day I got home from school and my mom knew everything. The neighbour must have told her. My mom lost it and the next thing I remembered was waking up in the Willow Valley Hospital. I was barely alive. Broken bones, tubes and needles everywhere and the beeping and the silence. I lied there wanting to die. Not sure what I did to deserve landing there.”
Cheyenne pulled back to look at him and he wiped away the tears that spilled onto her cheeks. “I’ve never told anyone who it was. My grandma thinks it was one of mom’s boyfriends, and I refused to give a name in the hospital. They all tried, the police, doctors, nurses, my grandma, but I wouldn’t tell them, scared of what my mom would do. Only she never came. Not once. Recovering at my grandma’s house was a nightmare. I would wake up seeing my mom above me, only she wasn’t. I would sit by the window in my room watching for her to walk up.”
Booker pulled a blanket around Cheyenne when she shuddered.
“Thanks,” she said, gripping the top.
He pushed her hair behind her ears. “Stop,” she laughed, catching his hand. “I swear you’re just trying to brush my hair.”
He sighed at her humor, unable to find in it him to smile.
“The story ends well,” she said, her hand now touching the tense muscles of his face. “I promise.” She leaned up and softly kissed his lips, but his eyes dropped shut, unable to think beyond her past. “I always tell the girls, finding the rainbow is a struggle, but once you’re there, looking at its beauty, you remember that life can be beautiful. That’s where I tell them to find your hope. Lilith loved rainbows.”
