The more I thought, the deeper the grimace became on my lips.
“I know what you are thinking, Edgar, and don’t worry, you don’t have to be in the baby’s life. My mother will help me raise it. It’s not like I expected you to be there for the child.”
Her tears were fast as they slid down her cheeks and she turned from me. I shook my head and tried to take hold of her hand but she pulled it away. Evaleen stood and finally faced me. “I need you to leave now, Edgar. I think it’s about time I take a shower. Morgana and Tiffany wanted to meet up for dinner in the hotel lobby.”
I stood and tried to touch her arm, but she jerked away as if I was about to burn her.
“Evaleen, no. Please, we need to discuss this.”
She shook her head. “If you won’t leave then I will. I’m going into the bathroom and getting into the shower. You can let yourself out.”
She left and I heard the door to the bathroom close with a pop of the lock.
I had no idea what to do.
I was going to be a father and if you had asked me months ago if I ever wanted to have a child, I would have laughed in your face.
I reached into my pocket and called the one person who I didn’t want to talk to. The one person who would know what to do despite my feelings for him.
“Hello?” he said answering my call.
“Hi, Jacob, it’s me.” I sighed
“Edgar. How are you?” My brother had no idea I wasn’t speaking to him. Obviously, I would have had to speak to him to tell him.
“Fine. Wait, no, I’m not fine. I need to tell you something and I want you to not be my boss, not my brother . . . just be a friend when I tell you.”
He cleared his throat. “Is this about our fight? Now I told you, Edgar—”
“No, Jacob, just listen. Evaleen is pregnant.”
“What? Shouldn’t she be telling me that? How is that any of your business . . . oh, I just figured it out.”
I pulled the phone from my ear, prepared for the yelling but it didn’t come. Bringing it back to my ear I said, “Jacob, are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here. I asked what are you going to do?”
“That’s why I called you. You have kids do you think—” My throat tightened and I rubbed my eyes to push the tears back.
“Do I think you’ll make a good father? No, I don’t.”
Fuck. At least he’s honest.
“Great,” I mumbled.
“I think you’ll make an amazing father. Do you love her?”
That I didn’t hesitate in answering, “Yes, with all my heart.”
“Good. Good. That was the part I was most worried about. You don’t hang around long with women, and Evaleen is a good person. I didn’t want you to hurt her.”
“So, then what should I do?” My ear began to hurt from me pressing the phone to it so hard.
“Pray she will have you. That’s all you can do, Edgar, pray.”
FORTY-FOUR
Evaleen
I didn’t get any writing done in Las Vegas.
“It’s a bit small,” my mom said looking around the galley kitchen.
She was right.
“We need to pick something. This place is ready today.”
The landlord stood by the doorway and smiled. He appeared hopeful. “There’s another unit I could show you—”
His voice became drowned out by the L-train passing by. I walked to the window and watched it just across the alleyway as it whizzed along.
I turned back to the landlord, he didn’t seem so hopeful anymore.
“This one just isn’t right for us. Does the other unit face the train tracks too?” my mother asked.
“Yes.”
That sealed it. A big no to this building. We left and found a coffee shop on the corner a block away. After my mom got her espresso and some herbal tea for me, we settled into one of the small booths that lined the windows that overlooked the busy sidewalk.
“Why do we have to move right now? It’s a weekday. We can look for apartments on the weekend. You should be at work.”
I got back from Vegas on Sunday and kept avoiding Edgar. Living and working with him made that very difficult but I managed to do it. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep that up.
“It’s time for us to move on, Mom. We can’t keep living with Edgar. He needs his space.” I picked at the cardboard sleeve around my tea.
“Did you two fight?”
“No. Not really. But I have to ask, how did he find out I was in Vegas? I hadn’t told him.”
I narrowed my eyes at my mother as she shrugged. “I didn’t think it was a secret. I loved that you went away for the weekend with your gal pals. I didn’t realize you never told him.” My mother reached forward. Her fingers gently rubbing my hand. “Did he do something to you, Evaleen? Please tell me if something happened. We can stay at a motel if we need to leave right away. I’ll help any way I can.”
“No, Mom, it was nothing like that. Edgar is a good guy. He would never hurt me like that. I guess that’s what makes all this so hard.”
My eyes began to burn realizing how sweet Edgar was, how funny, and caring. The more I thought about him, the more I knew he would make a great father. But he didn’t want this child in his life. He probably thought it would cramp his player lifestyle.
“Then I don’t understand. Why all of a sudden? Why did you run off to Vegas and not even tell the man you love?”
I glanced up from watching her fingers sweep over me to find a firm glare. Her mouth a thin line. I knew there was no keeping this from her anymore.
I pulled away and folded my arms. “Who said I loved him?”
“Evaleen. Don’t you lie to me.”
“Fine. You’re right. I do love Edgar. This isn’t easy, Mom. I finally find a good man and give my heart to him and then this happens.”
“What? What happened? I’m your mom, you can tell me anything. If I don’t know, there’s no way I can help you.”
Her eyes pleaded with me and I felt guilty for dodging her too. Keeping this from her when she had done so much for me.
“I’m pregnant.”
She sat back, cupping her cheeks, trying to hold in her growing smile. “Oh sweetie, I’m going to be a grandmother.”
“Please don’t call me sweetie. It’s making me nauseous.”
She got up, the sleeves of her flowery blouse fluttering as she came over trying to pull me from my seat. I let her.
We began to walk toward the door. “No wonder you were drinking that terrible tea and wouldn’t eat my soup. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out myself. I had given up hope for grandkids, but now. Ahh, I’m just so excited.”
As we made our way down the street toward the Red Line station, she kept her hands on me guiding me.
“This isn’t 1950 anymore, Mom. If a woman is over thirty she can still have children.”
“Of course. Of course. But you never dated and when it became obvious you and Edgar were finally together, I had a small hope you two would marry. But knowing how you are, I didn’t let that hope grow.”
The train pulled up just then and we walked on. It was relatively empty, being the middle of the day. We got two seats together.
“And, how am I?”
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I think you are wonderful, smart, loyal, and have a big heart. But you hide those things from the world. You put up this wall and I know why. It breaks my heart to know why you do it. I feel guilty for not protecting you more.” A few tears ran down my mother’s face.
“Mom, don’t. You didn’t know he was doing that to me.”
She blamed herself for what Damien had done. But I was a teenager. I kept things to myself back then. Now I knew better, but back then I believed him when he told me my mom would be jealous. Would blame me for being so beautiful that I stole him away from her.
I hated my looks. Hated how they made men look at me, and believed they were the reason I would br
eak my mother’s heart. It wasn’t until my mom and that cop found me outside the women’s shelter two days after I ran away did I realize how foolish I had been.
My mother wasn’t jealous, she was heartbroken that I hadn’t told her. We went to the police station together and they finally believed me. When I had gone the week before alone, the cop rolled his eyes at me. Told me it was obvious I was just trying to get attention. That’s why I ran. I thought no one would believe me. They would all hate me.
“No matter how old you become or even if you are a mother yourself, you will always be my baby, Evaleen. Please, don’t run away again.”
The sadness that filled her gaze caused my heart to ache. I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arm around her back. My head leaned on hers. “I don’t know what else to do.”
And I didn’t. I ran, it’s what I did. And even if that hadn’t been the best thing to do in the past, it was the right thing to do now.
“How can I stay with a man who doesn’t want this baby?”
“Oh, Evaleen. I’m so sorry. That’s such a shame. I thought he was smarter than that.”
We rode the rest of the way in silence. Once we were off the train, she held my hand as we weaved our way through the streets and back to Edgar’s place.
I threw my keys on his entryway table and felt melancholy as I glanced around. This was a nice place and I would miss it. It wasn’t big and showy with glass walls overlooking Lake Michigan like some expensive condo. It didn’t even have an ultra-modern design as I would’ve expected a millionaire executive to prefer. Especially a rich bachelor. It was warm and inviting. I’m sure the furniture was expensive, but everything felt like a home and not a show place.
“How about I heat up some broth and some crackers. Will you eat that?” My mom headed toward the kitchen as I followed.
“I think broth and crackers sounds great. It’s so terrible. I’m hungry but everything makes me sick or nauseous. I just want to be able to eat normal food again.” I groaned and threw my hands in the air in anger.
“What’s this? Did you leave cookies out? Oh, I get it. Evaleen, that’s so sweet.” My mother moved toward the kitchen bar blocking whatever she was looking at.
“Cookies? Mom, the only solid food I have had for two weeks are crackers. I did manage to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a week ago, but that’s it.”
I came to stand next to my mom and saw a plate of sugar cookies and a glass of iced tea. It looked like most of the ice had melted with only one small cube left.
“I think Edgar left that. He did the same thing in London. I guess it’s his way of telling me he’s sorry.”
Sort of a sad gift for an apology. It only reminded me of how he touched me that night. Took my virginity and promised things that rang hollow now. I saw an envelope off to the side and picked it up.
“He did it in London too. Wow, are you sure he doesn’t want the baby?”
I turned to my mom. “What is so great about some sugar cookies and iced tea? Am I not getting it? Because they’re cookies, Mom. Just cookies.”
Sure, I was pregnant and emotional because of all the hormones, but he tried to apologize with cookies. That’s terrible.
“You really don’t know? The cookies were in your book The Scottish Prince, where Ewan feeds his new bride shortbread biscuits because she is nervous on their wedding night being a virgin. It’s one of the sweetest and later on, sexiest, scenes you have ever written, Evaleen.”
Oh. Well, now I felt dumb.
“But that doesn’t explain the iced tea. I know I didn’t write iced tea into one of my books.” I put my hand on my hip showing my irritation. Knowing I was more irritated with myself than my mom or Edgar at that point.
“When was the last time you updated your author bio?”
“Just answer the question, Mom. This has nothing to do with my bio.”
She groaned at me and stormed off. I shrugged and began to tear open the envelope. My mother reappeared with one of my books, slamming it face down in front of me. She pointed to my author bio.
That’s when I saw how I had referenced iced tea. Explaining the inspiration for the shortbread biscuits in my latest novel The Scottish Prince came from my happiest memories where I felt safe and loved. Sitting on the porch of our home growing up with my mom in the summer, sipping iced tea and eating sugar cookies.
I glanced up at my mom. “So I’m an idiot.”
She shook her head smirking.
I pulled out the letter.
My love,
I have been trying to talk to you but you are never around. Have you gotten my messages? I am assuming no. When you told me about the baby, I was shocked and regret how I reacted to the news. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you now more than ever. Even if you don’t love me, please know I want you in my life with the baby. I want to be a father, and I hope you trust me enough to be a good father to our child.
Please, don’t leave. I want to be a family together.
Love No Matter What,
Edgar
Now I felt like the biggest moron alive.
FORTY-FIVE
Edgar
“Evaleen is here?” I asked Grace as she stirred her tea in the kitchen.
Her doe eyes widened and lifted up to me.
“Yes. I saw Ms. Bechmann come in after lunch.”
At that moment, I felt relief and also worry. Thankful that I had a better chance of tracking her down in the office than I did at home.
In my house, she had become adept at hiding in her bedroom or always being in the shower. She took lots of showers.
I thought I would find her yesterday at the office party; I knew she had been there because I saw the box of crackers, but again no Evaleen.
The cookies and tea idea came to me this morning and I ran home before lunch, not at all surprised she wasn’t there.
Mr. Marks had told me she was apartment hunting. I asked him to watch her for the past few days. Not my best idea but I had to know she was safe at least.
I couldn’t let her leave. Not without knowing I wanted to help her raise that baby. The cookies and tea were my last effort to stop her.
Would she know what they meant? She didn’t last time. At least she might think they had to do with how I cared for her body.
Now that I thought about it, the idea seemed terrible. Pathetic in an I can’t think of anything else sort of way. They’ll just remind her how she got in this situation to begin with.
No wonder she’s avoiding me, I’m an asshole. A selfish dick who only has one thing on my mind, sex. What woman would want a man like that for the father of their child?
As I dashed out of the kitchen, I noticed something in the corner of my eye. Evaleen. She was walking into Jacob’s office.
Was she about to quit? Maybe move away and take the baby with her? I mean, obviously, the baby was still inside her so it went everywhere with her, but I mean after she gave birth.
I couldn’t let that happen. Racing down the hall my only hope was that she had read the note I left her in the kitchen and didn’t toss it away with my sad surprise.
Just as I got to the door, I saw that Kara was away from her desk. Good. Now I could walk inside and stop her. Knowing Evaleen, she would have told Kara that they not be interrupted if she was about to quit.
I opened the door and my jaw fell open at what I saw. Evaleen had her back to me as Jacob stood in front of his desk facing her. Her hands were behind her back because she was being handcuffed.
The two detectives that I saw with Jacob coming out of his office last week were arresting Evaleen.
“What is going on here?” I yelled and moved next to Evaleen.
She was crying and everything in me wanted to hold her while at the same time, punch those cops. Also, my brother. I wanted to punch him too.
“Edgar, they have evidence that Ms. Bechmann was forcing Ashton to hack the system here at Mimir.”
I shook my h
ead. “No, that isn’t true.”
How could my brother lie like that about her? I was sure these cops were corrupt, but that didn’t mean my brother had to believe them or help them arrest her.
“It’s true. We were able to find a file from Ms. Bechmann’s own office that contained everything we needed to know. Mr. Mimir here helped us after our department discovered that picture of you we showed you a few months ago originated from Ms. Bechmann’s computer.” Detective Hardy pointed to me before continuing, “She tried to cover her tracks by sending it to herself, but that didn’t fool our IT guys. When we searched her office we found buried in her filing cabinet a file labeled the Attraction file. See for yourself.” Detective Mackeson threw a folder on Jacobs’s desk.
I opened it and found some memos about different employees. My eyes widened when I came across one about Morgana being put on leave a few months ago. That Evaleen herself had caught Henrik having sex with her. There was Henrik’s signature at the bottom.
Every single document in here looked like something that was damning to different employees. Something that could get them fired, yet these particular employees all still worked here. The last two files were on Ashton and me.
Apparently, Ashton had gotten arrested in his early twenties from a bar fight. He lied on his application for the company and never put it down. She knew of it.
Mine was worse. It was more than one piece of paper. There were photographs of me with women I had been with. Some even taken in my own home.
“Is this yours, Evaleen? Did you really have this file in your office?”
Her eyes were wide with a pain so great I only remembered seeing it once before. Fifteen years ago. But Evaleen didn’t say a word. She didn’t deny any of it.
“Tell me it’s not true, Evaleen. Tell me they’re lying and somehow planted this in your office. Or someone planted it. Why would you have this?” I held it up in front of her face. She turned away and the only sounds out of her mouth were cries.
“You have the right to remain silent . . .” Detective Hardy began to read Evaleen her Miranda rights and pulled her away.
The Attraction File (Cake Love Book 2) Page 22
