by Lori Foster
Hoping to hide her concern, she asked, “How did that go?”
Raemay shrugged. “He saw your home, and mine. He seems to think you’ve been treated unfairly.”
Relaxing a little, Kayli rolled her eyes. “I’ll explain to him.”
“Will you?”
“Of course.” Seeing that her mother watched her with keen interest, Kayli touched her arm in assurance. “I love my home. It’s perfect for me.”
Her mother nodded, hesitated, walked a little more. “Daughter, you know that when it comes to defense, I trust you implicitly. But in this, in a union of the heart, I have to wonder if you know what you’re doing.”
Kayli wasn’t sure how to reply to that, so she said nothing.
“Do you?” Her mother paused to give her a keen look. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
No, she didn’t. Not even close. “About defense?” Kayli hedged. “Yes. You know I never liked the idea of submitting to the invaders. I’d much prefer to fight them, even if we lose.”
“Sometimes …” Raemay hesitated, drew a breath to start again. “You’re a very wise young lady, and I’m so proud of you. But you are young, and that makes it difficult to always see the big picture.”
“Meaning?”
“It’s possible that losing isn’t the worst that can happen.”
“No?” Kayli had never seen her mother like this, teetering on uncertainty, at a loss for words, unable to make her position clear. Suspicions surfaced, but Kayli kept her tone and expression neutral. “What would be worse than losing?”
Donning a false smile, Raemay stopped and turned to face her. “I trust your instincts as Claviger, you know that. But with Michael? He’s unlike our people. He’s not what any of us is used to.”
“I know.” She shrugged. “Everyone knows.” Within a minute of meeting Michael, it was clear that he had his own way of seeing and doing things.
“He is bold and demanding, controlling and inflexible.”
Kayli could not deny any of that. “Yes.”
Brows pinching down, Raemay asked, “Has he … pressured you in any way?”
She smiled. “No, Mother.” In truth, he had, but somehow she enjoyed his form of pressure. It was … stimulating.
Raemay took her hands. “Do you agree to a union with him for the sake of our colony, or because he’s the man you want for the rest of your life?”
Everything about her mother was different now. Never before had she been so passionate about something. Not with Kayli. Not over a man.
With her sisters, yes. Many times, Kayli had sat in on long discussions about choosing the right man for the right reasons. But it was assumed that Kayli would never have that bond, so why talk of it?
Trying a dose of honesty, Kayli said, “He hasn’t pressured me, not in the way that you mean. He influences me just by being himself. I’m … intrigued by him.”
Raemay gave her close scrutiny. “And you’re a little afraid?”
“Mostly of what he makes me feel.”
Her mother paled; her voice dropped in alarm. “Would he ever harm you?”
“No!” Kayli knew that with a bone-deep certainty that she couldn’t understand. She held her mother’s shoulders. “He’s not that way, Mother. Michael is a protector. He would never hurt any woman.”
“How can you be so certain? How do you know he isn’t misleading you in some way?”
Memories lightened Kayli’s mood. “There are so many ways. I studied him before I chose to bring him here. I witnessed him with his closest friends, and with the female medical staff in the hospital who tried to gain his attention. But most of all, when I told him of our problems, of the women being taken, his reaction was honest and pure. It was a true indication of him as a man.”
“And?”
“It enraged him. He would give his life to protect a woman, any woman.” As her confidence with the subject grew, her smile grew, and Kayli hoped it would bolster her mother. “Given how he’d care for a stranger, can you imagine what he’d do to protect a woman he considered his own?”
By small degrees, Raemay relaxed, and finally nodded. “Impressions can be deceiving, so I hope you’re right.”
“I’m sure of it.” Other things, like Michael’s overwhelming sexuality, she wasn’t so sure about. What she knew of sexual matters was laughable. Other than a kiss or two, she had zero experience—whereas he was well practiced and would likely prefer a partner who was, too.
“There’s something else.”
Drawn from her own worries, Kayli lifted her brows. “Yes?”
“I … tested him.”
A confession? From her mother? That, too, was unusual. The stunt she’d pulled was expected, but not an admission of remorse. “If you mean with Idola, I already know about it.”
Guilt darkened Raemay’s eyes. “You do?”
“Hauk kept a close watch for me. He reported back that Michael was as blunt as you just claimed he could be in rejecting Idola.”
“I did it for you, Kayli. I wanted to make sure—”
“Mother, please.” It was a special moment for Kayli, a rare instance of pure honesty between them. “As Arbiter, you don’t need to make excuses to me. You wanted to test him and you did.”
Using one daughter to do your dirty work, and willing to hurt the other to make a point. Kayli shook her head. “I understand.”
“Do you?”
No. But then she seldom understood her mother’s motives. “Let’s forget about it. Michael turned down Idola—she’s not too hurt about it, is she?”
“I haven’t spoken to her yet.”
“Well, I hope she isn’t.” Kayli rushed through the rest of her sentiment. “He turned her down, and made it clear that he’s determined on his course. I hope that puts your … concerns to rest.”
Raemay remained unconvinced. “Are you positive you want him, Kayli? That you want to risk everything in your life for him, all that you’ve built, all that you’ve accomplished?”
To hear Raemay, it sounded as if marrying Michael would be the greatest of sacrifices. Kayli didn’t think it would be. In some ways, she believed sharing her life with him might be wonderful.
But it was a moot point.
Like Michael, she’d sacrifice anything to protect the members of her colony. “I’m positive.”
After Raemay let out a defeated breath, Kayli hooked their arms and led her back to the fields where the women now practiced and the men worked out.
It was an odd sight to see. In an uncommon display, no doubt following Michael’s lead, the men had all removed their shirts. With the vigorous exercise, sweat-sleek muscles flexed.
The women, usually so dedicated to their workouts, were now only halfheartedly going at it, distracted with ogling the men.
When they noticed Kayli, they launched back into their practice.
Kayli couldn’t blame them for the preoccupation. For an extended moment in time, Michael held her attention. He was magnificent.
“It’s indecent,” Raemay grumbled, pulling Kayli out of her reverent stare.
“It’s just his way, Mother.” She nodded to the women in approval, and continued on. As they got nearer the group of men, one of them stopped sparring and put his hands on his knees.
Michael said, “I didn’t call a stop yet. Let’s go.”
“But my legs hurt,” the man complained, bent double and huffing air. Kayli recognized him as a successful merchant, and a man unused to heavy physical activity.
Not that Michael cared for his excuses.
He stood over the man with an expression of disgust. “Does your vagina hurt, too, you big wuss?”
Shocked, the man sputtered in response.
Raemay gasped.
Kayli, God help her, had to stifle a laugh, as did a few of the other women who bit their lips or hid their mouths behind their hands.
Michael pointed to the female warriors, all of them practicing with a vigorous show of energy. “They�
��re still at it, and even with an idle job, you’ve got bigger muscles and should have more stamina. If you want to be part of the defense, you have to learn to push through the pain. You have to be at least as good as the women.”
Though it took a visible effort, the man straightened and went back to work. Michael nodded in satisfaction, noticed Kayli and Raemay watching, and gave them a brief nod as well.
Not long after that, though, he called a halt and gave everyone a moment to grab a drink or stretch.
Raemay touched Kayli’s arm. Her eyes were disapproving, her mouth tight in a sign of annoyance. But she didn’t voice a complaint. Instead, she whispered to Kayli, “What is a wuss?”
CHAPTER 12
FOR several days, Kayli managed to dodge any heartfelt discussions with Michael. It was easier than she had imagined, given how he threw himself into the training. The man proved tireless.
He set up three sessions a day, allowing the women to join them, even appointing some of the better female fighters the task of instruction.
On the third day, the men and women mixed, all working at various skill levels. There wasn’t a single unutilized space on the fields. Michael effectively divided groups, giving each a specific task, then rotating them at intervals.
On the forth day, he took it further than field training. He wanted everyone to pay attention to diet, too, which meant he ate many of his meals with the trainees. After a long consultation with the cooks, he came up with a specific menu for everyone. He praised as often as he corrected, harassed as often as he commiserated.
And he sought Kayli’s input.
He truly made her feel an important part of the equation. If she noticed a lapse in technique, he stood back while she offered the correction, then smiled at her with pride. So often, the way he looked at her made her blush.
Even now, with everyone working hard, he found time to seek her out with his gaze, to look her over and smile in that appreciative way.
“Your heart is racing,” Hauk pointed out.
“We’ve been working for hours.” Kayli used a forearm to wipe the sweat from her brow, turning away from Michael.
“You’re in incredible shape, so exercise has nothing to do with it, and you know it.”
“Do you want something, Hauk?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Mallet wants to speak with you.”
“Now?” He often conferred with her during practices, and in the middle of explaining a technique, he’d tell her that she smelled good, or that she looked good sweaty; sometimes he’d just say that he wanted to hear her voice.
Little by little, he was softening her. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.
“At the end of the practice,” Hauk explained. And then, in a chastising tone, he added, “You’ve been avoiding him, Kayli, and he’s been patient. But it’s not like you to cower.”
“I am not cowering!” She was giving herself time to get her thoughts together, to … prepare herself. She glanced over and saw that Michael had gathered everyone together. He did that each day, going over what they’d learned, offering encouragement, and answering questions. She sighed.
“Fibber,” Hauk accused. “You’re uncertain of how he might affect your neatly organized life, but Mallet deserves your attention.”
She rolled her eyes. “What are you, his defender? He can handle himself, you know.”
“Indeed. He is most capable of handling many things, including your insecurities.”
Gnashing her teeth, Kayli said, “I’ll talk to him later.” Because she wasn’t ready to face Michael and his expectations, she slipped away before he could wrap up his pep talk to the assembly.
She’d denied it to Hauk, but she knew it was cowardly to flee this way. But blast it, she needed time to herself, time to sort through her feelings.
Time to prepare herself.
In a very short time, she’d gone from acceptance of a solitary life of duty to dealing with the flirtatious courtship of a very large, very sexual man who claimed to want her, and who made her want … things, too.
Hoping Michael wouldn’t notice her retreat, she hopped on her aircycle and drove away. The air had cooled a little as the hours slipped away, and the breeze on her face dried the sweat on her heated skin. She felt itchy, as much from her unresolved feelings toward Michael as from her strenuous activity.
When she reached the lake where she liked to swim, she turned off her aircycle and dismounted. The sun hung low in the sky, sending a splash of crimson color over the horizon.
Sitting on a large, flat boulder, Kayli pulled off her boots, loosened her belt, and sprawled out on her back. The surrounding trees allowed a dapple of sunlight to dance over her face. The whistle of a bird and the water lapping on the shore lent musical whispers to the air. “Hauk?”
“Hmmm?”
The computer’s easy tone matched her melancholy mood. At least with Hauk, there was no reason for pretense. “You’re right, you know.”
“About you being insecure? Of course I am. But you shouldn’t be.”
Easy for him to say. No one expected the same things of him. “I don’t know anything about sex.”
“You took the basics, Kayli. You know the mechanics.”
“Just barely.”
“So?”
“Michael knows much more.”
“I’m sure he does. He lived in a different culture than you.”
“It’s not just that.” Though God knew, that was more than enough. “He’s more innately sexual. I feel it when I’m around him.”
“I’m positive that he’ll be happy to teach you anything you need to learn.”
She had the feeling that Hauk deliberately missed her point. “I feel like an idiot.”
A voice, not Hauk’s, said, “Perhaps I can help. I have a modicum of experience.”
Kayli shot upright and twisted at the same time to face the intruder. “Dormius!” She hadn’t heard him approach, and Hauk, blast him, hadn’t warned her. “What are you doing here?”
“I followed you.” Cautiously, he strode toward her and sat close on the rock. “Do you mind?”
Eyeing him, Kayli tried to figure a reply. Dormius was a little younger than her, attractive with boyish charm and an easy smile. Though both of her sisters had whispered about him, their hands over their hearts, he didn’t interest her one whit.
Because her sisters liked him, Kayli had always made a point of looking over him, beyond him, or through him.
“What is it you want?”
He pushed breeze-ruffled brown hair from his forehead. “The rules have changed of late.”
“The rules?”
Gaze direct, compelling, and enveloping, he stared at her. “Until the outsider came and named you as available, no one dared pay you too much attention. But I have always noticed you. I’ve always … admired you.”
Drawing back, Kayli frowned. Oh no. No, no, no. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
He reached for her hand, shocking Kayli and making her realize how different Michael’s touch felt to her. Less unwanted and intrusive. Less … repugnant.
“You are very different from other women here.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Oh yes. I admire the differences.” His gaze moved over her face and he took a deep breath. “I’ve seen the way the outsider—”
“His name is Michael.” For some reason, she did not want Michael forever labeled an outsider.
Dormius nodded. “I see how he kisses you. Often. Everyone sees.” His gaze met hers, pinning her in place. “You like it.”
She leaned farther away. “Michael is impulsive and isn’t yet accustomed to our ways.”
“But you are—and still you allow the kisses.”
How was she to stop Michael? He often did things even before she knew … No, that wasn’t true. If she told him, in no uncertain terms, not to kiss her, he wouldn’t.
But she’d never told him not to.
She w
as to blame.
Dormius smiled. “I heard you speaking to Hauk, but what can an asexual computer really tell you?”
She started to stand, and Dormius caught her arms. Not hard, not really restraining her, but making his preference for her to stay well-known.
Without another word between them, Kayli’s training kicked in, shored up by her natural resistance to things unfamiliar.
And this, with a certainty, was unfamiliar.
Her eyes narrowed. “Coming here was a big mistake, Dormius.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” And he stood with her.
MALLET took a long drink of the crispest, purest water he’d ever tasted. Like most things here, the water was better. The sky, the scents, the laughter. He liked it all.
Since he’d started training, everything else seemed to have fallen into place for him. He belonged, more so than he ever had. He enjoyed the people, different as they might be. Except for his lack of communication with Kayli, he was having the time of his life.
Two of the women from the defense team gave him the once-over. It wasn’t the first time that had happened, but for the most part, he pretended not to notice. After a cordial nod of greeting, he picked up his shirt and swiped the sweat from his face, then drew it over his head. He found that they sent him fewer covetous looks when he was covered more. Given that he didn’t want to encourage them, it’d be best to stay fully dressed when possible.
“Sir?”
He looked up to greet a young man still red with exertion. “Call me Mallet.”
Hesitant, the man said, “I am Kamir. Could I beg a moment of your time, please?”
“You can’t beg, no, but my time is yours.” He smiled at him. “What’s up?”
For a moment, Kamir looked confused before cautiously returning the smile. “It’s true that you speak very differently.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“I enjoy your informality.”
“Good to know. So Kamir, what can I do for you?”
