by Jessica Ryan
"Who's Beorn? Is he a member of your werewolf pack?"
Hawk gave her an incredulous look as he began to walk again. "Beorn? He's a bear, not a wolf."
"Is he an actual bear or a human who turns into a bear?"
"He's a werebear."
"Oh, I see," Ciara said, rubbing her chin. This was interesting; apparently her vision was now throwing other human/animal hybrids at her. Had she watched a horror movie recently with these creatures in it? She couldn't remember, but she was sure that was why her brain was bringing them out now.
"He's a good guy…sometimes," Hawk told her.
"Sometimes?"
"He's been pretty moody lately. Rowan thinks it's because he's getting older and lonelier. I think it's because he's a loner and he's annoyed so many wolves have been in his territory lately."
"I see. Who's Rowan?"
"Rowan is a friend. He's the sheriff of Bucklin and top enforcer for the five packs."
"Is everyone in Bucklin a werewolf?"
"Everyone except the human mates," Hawk said, winking at her. "Five packs traveled out of the forest decades ago and decided to start their own human society. They were tired of being at war with one another and fighting for food. Over time the Dawn Warriors and Guardians joined together to form the Dawnguard. That left an opening for a new pack and I was picked to form the Skyvale pack, Bucklin's secret watchers."
Yes, that's right, Ciara thought. Just continue to build up my fantasy. What have I been reading or watching lately? This is pretty far out there.
"That's interesting," she said, hoping he would continue. His story was helping her ignore the burning in her calves and the sharp pain in her side.
"I suppose so," he said, giving her another knee-buckling smile. "Not every pack left the woods. As you can tell, the guy who was chasing you earlier was from a wild pack that remained in the forest. These guys do things the old way, though."
"What's the old way?"
"It's how things were before we moved into the city and became civilized. They act more animal than man. It's survival of the fittest, the strongest rules; you know that kind of thing. They fiercely defend their territory against outsiders."
"Then why were they after me?"
Hawk laughed before giving her a more serious look. "I hope you don't think we're all like this, because we're not. But under the old ways you could claim a mate and they had no choice in the matter if you were a big, strong male wolf. A female in the pack system could not deny the claim of a mate if he was in good standing with the pack."
"I'm a human, though."
"Well, that's where this story gets a little messed up. You see, back before we left the forest wolves who that were bored with their situation would kidnap human females from the surrounding area and lay claim to them. Nobody ever did anything about it because they saw it as their right as a male wolf. No matter how much the human begged and pleaded, she was taken to camp and forced to be the claimer's mate."
Ciara was repulsed. How could anyone act like that and think it was okay? Why was her mind creating such an odd scenario?
She saw Hawk looking at her, concern evident in his eyes. He slowed down to let her catch up to him before putting a large, powerful hand on her shoulder. She immediately felt her legs turn to jelly as his warm, manly hand contacted the bare skin of her shoulder.
"Don't worry," he whispered in a soothing tone. "We don't do that anymore."
"But you've done it before?" she asked.
"Me? God, no. I wasn’t born until after we left the forest. Everything I'm being told is second-hand knowledge passed down from my grandmother."
"Thank God!" Ciara shouted. She was so relieved she couldn't control the volume of her voice, but Hawk just laughed in response. She was glad she wasn't hanging out with a complete creep. She'd spent a lot of time getting drunk and waking up in a stranger's bed, but in the end she'd always known she wanted to be there. Nobody had every forced themselves on her or taken her against her will and luckily it wasn't going to happen now.
"I'm glad that makes you happy."
"So, do you have a mate?"
"No, my pack is forbidden from taking a mate. It conflicts with our duties. When a wolf mates, they mate for life, and I can’t do that. My life is mated to the protection of the pack."
"What duties are those?"
"To always keep a watchful eye on Bucklin and to never let evil escape our sight."
"Sounds like a comic book."
"I guess it kind of does, but it's how we live our lives in my pack."
"So what's this mission you're on?"
"I'd prefer not to get into that right now," Hawk said, his face turning dark. "It's just too much right now."
"So I'm traveling with you but I don't know why?" Ciara asked. "I guess that's okay. I'm just along for the ride, anyway."
"I'm sorry," Hawk said, putting his hand on her again. She could feel the heat between her legs again and the extreme desire to jump on this perfect man who walked beside her. If he kept touching her she might actually fail at this quest. "I'm just not sure what to do with you right now. I've kind of screwed up royally by bringing you along."
Ciara felt her heart jump into her throat. Judging by the tone of his voice, this was not a good thing. "What do you mean, do with me?"
"Humans aren't supposed to know about us. Humans who find out about us, like Rowan's mate Eva, are forbidden from leaving Bucklin or they are killed."
"That's brutal," Ciara said, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach.
"I'm sorry," Hawk said. "I can't take you on as my mate, but I can't let you leave Bucklin, either. Don't worry, I won't let anyone kill you."
"Ummm… thanks?" Ciara said, curling one lip. Did this guy have any social skills at all? Who spoke to another human that bluntly about something so serious? She'd never been around someone so awkward. Then again, being so damn hot, he'd probably never had to worry about his personality.
"Don't worry, Ciara," he said, smiling down at her. "I'll figure all of this out. It was my mistake to save you and I will pay the price."
"Thanks again?" she said, still adding a question to the end.
Hawk didn't pick up on her sarcasm at all. Instead, he just continued marching forward like he didn't have a care in the world.
So saving me was a mistake? she thought. Oh, well, who cares? None of this is real. I just have to figure out how to get through it and find myself so I can go home.
Chapter 9
Hawk glanced to his right as Ciara continued to follow him as quickly as she could. He was maintaining a breakneck pace and he could tell the shorter girl was growing tired as she tried to keep up, but he had to keep going to make it to Beorn's by nightfall.
She is a remarkable girl, he thought, admiring her out of the corner of his eye.
So far she'd taken everything in stride, not freaking out or losing it at all. He'd seen humans who discovered the truth about Bucklin lose their minds in the past. Usually there was disbelief, hysterical crying, violence and any other manner of making a scene one could think of. But this Ciara, she was taking it all with a smile on her face.
Another dark thought entered his mind. Maybe she was actually insane? It would explain why she didn't care; her five personalities were probably arguing over whether this was real or not. Maybe one of the personalities thought it was a werewolf and had found a home.
Now who sounds crazy? he thought to himself. You're just making up stories about this girl in your head. Stop it.
He glanced over at her one more time and smiled widely.
"What?" she asked cheerfully.
"Nothing," he said. "You're just an interesting person."
"Is that good or bad?"
"It's good. Don't worry."
"Well, I'm glad I could grab your interest, Mr. Hawk. Maybe it'll keep me alive?"
"I wasn't going to kill you anyway," Hawk said, looking into the distance as he chose his next words carefully. "That's a par
t of our history and a way of doing things that I don't, ah, necessarily agree with."
"Oh?" she asked, getting a bit closer to him. He sucked in a deep breath as he got a deep whiff of her. She smelled wonderful. The natural odor from her sweat mixed with the Japanese Cherry Blossom body spray she had been wearing plus the scent of her previous arousal was enough to bring his cock to full attention. He quickly closed up his nose, trying not to breathe in any more of her delicious smell.
Something in the forest was arousing them both; he had to make sure he didn't exacerbate the situation.
"Are you there?" she asked, slapping him on the back. "I lost you for a second."
Hawk shook his head, trying to regain his composure. He had spaced out while trying to squash the lust that was building inside of him. He just wasn't used to being around people so much; he didn't know how to act or keep a conversation going.
"I'm sorry," he said, realizing he was badly in need of a dip in a cold river. "What was the question?"
"You said it was a brutal part of your history that you don't agree with," she said, giving him a look like he was the crazy one. "I wanted you to expand on that."
"Oh, well, okay," he said, giving her his best boyish smile.
He had once read that human females were into the aloof type, and Hawk was realizing they didn't get any more aloof than him. He had thrown himself into his watcher duties to the exclusion of all else, even a social life. At town hall meetings he was usually silent, preferring to listen and speak only when spoken to. Now that he was babysitting a very attractive human, he was paying for it completely.
"A lot of werewolf packs still live in the wilderness of America," he continued. "They prefer to isolate themselves from human society, not wanting to be bothered. Those who do integrate into human society usually keep themselves secret. It's very popular for them to form biker gangs, because humans don't think twice about a nomadic group of ruffians out to cause trouble."
"Do wolves naturally cause trouble?" she asked.
"Well, I'm not saying that, but it's complicated. Wolves are aggressive by nature and can have a lot of trouble living in human society. We do things differently, since there's an animal inside of us that drives us."
"Okay."
"It's hard for me to explain. I'm sorry. I've never really had to explain this to anyone before."
Hawk could feel the sweat beading on his forehead as he felt her eyes burning into him. For the first time in his life he felt his cheeks flush with blood as his embarrassment grew.
"Just tell me as best you can," she told him, patting him on the back softly.
"A lot of other wolves who integrate prefer to do it alone. They take their mate and family and just integrate into human society. Without the pack dynamic they lose more and more of their inner wolf."
"So the wolf is separate from you?"
"That's even harder to explain. We're basically like two halves of the same whole. The wolf is me, but at the same time it does its own thing and pushes inside my mind to have its freedom."
"Like a split personality."
"Yes," he said, looking at her suspiciously. "Like a split personality."
You know all about that, don't you?
"Anyway," he went on. "We're different in Bucklin. We decided to move out of the forest and into town to give ourselves a better life. I told you about that earlier. And I mentioned the old ways, right?"
"Yes. You told me something about that, wolves kidnapping humans and forcing them to mate."
"That's just part of it. The old ways are very brutish, much more animal. Basically they believe that might makes right. The alpha is always the strongest. The alpha's word is absolute. The alpha can mate with any female in the pack. Humans are not to be respected or trusted. If a human enters your territory, you either claim them or destroy them, no in between."
"So some wolves still stick to these rules?"
"There is one pack in Bucklin that really hammers the old ways home: the Oakdale pack. They are all farmers, preferring to live closer to the land. Their alpha, Forrest, is the oldest one on the alpha council."
"What's an alpha council?"
"There are five packs in Bucklin. There is one alpha above all others, the supreme alpha. That is Aster, alpha of the Dawnguard. He basically breaks ties between the other four members and has final say. However, the biggest and most influential voice is Forrest."
"The guy who's stuck in the past?" Ciara raised one eyebrow at Hawk, like she was questioning what he was about to tell her.
"Yes," Hawk admitted. "He forces a lot of the old ways on the rest of us. He makes the alphas wear furs during council meetings. Furs! Can you believe that? We're not cavemen."
"Why does he insist on wearing furs?"
"He thinks it makes us look more intimidating and closer to our animal sides. I think it's silly and so do the other alphas, but Forrest usually gets his way."
"So he is the one who says humans are forbidden from leaving Bucklin?"
"Well, we voted on that and in the end he won out. He personally wanted all humans to be killed, but there are plenty of male wolves that like the, ahem, feel of a human female."
"What do you mean feel?"
"Werewolf females and human females are so different. Werewolf females aren't as caring and loving as humans and their bodies are all the same. They're all extremely lean and powerful-looking. Some guys are into that, trust me. But others prefer the soft curves of a human."
"Like mine?" Ciara asked, blowing a kiss at Hawk.
He quickly turned away, trying to keep the blood that was rushing to his crotch from getting too extreme. "Yes, like you."
"Good to know," he heard her say.
"Anyway, we voted and came up with the rule that if a human finds out about Bucklin they are either forced to assimilate as a mate or killed."
"So if they're not a mate they can't just live there?"
"No," he said, shaking his head. "We can't have humans living amongst us freely. They need to be tied to a pack and a wolf."
"I guess that makes sense," she said.
They walked together in silence for at least an hour after that, a heavy sexual tension hanging in the air between them. Hawk would glance sideways at her, catching her eyes and quickly looking away. Each time he would hear her giggle and then catch a smile out of the corner of his eye when he looked back. Her laugh was infectious, making Hawk smile more than he ever had in all his previous years combined. Each time she giggled he felt a flutter in the bottom of his stomach. When she got close or touched him he would feel his heart begin to pound like a drum in his chest as sweat beaded up all over his body.
What is this feeling? he wondered. I've never had it before.
It was beginning to move beyond the simple lust he had felt before; he was actually growing attached to this female. He couldn't, though; he was alpha of the Skyvale pack. He led by example and he was forbidden from taking a mate.
Finally, Ciara broke the silence with a question that nearly knocked Hawk over.
"So you're obviously not going to kill me," she said tentatively. "I suppose that means you're going to claim me to be your mate."
Hawk began to stutter and stammer. He had no response for this. Finally he choked out the only word he could think of. "No."
Ciara's bottom lip pooched out in an exaggerated pout. It was so damn cute he wanted to take the bottom lip in between his and suck on it before feeling her tongue inside his mouth.
"Then what are you going to do with me if you aren't going to claim me?" she asked.
"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "I just don't know."
"You can claim me if you want," she said, rubbing her hand up and down his back.
Hawk didn't respond to that, he just shivered as he felt a mighty chill go through his body. This entire trip was a symphony of new feelings and emotions. He would leave the forest changed for better or worse.
Chapter 10
Ciara
laughed as she watched the nervous alpha wolf glance around, trying to figure out what to do with this short girl who had challenged him so much.
She was trying to control the overall lust that she felt, but it was getting harder and harder the more he talked. His body was amazing and he had a certain boyish charm that was hard to find these days. Most of the men she had dealt with puffed out their chests and tried to act tough to impress the girls. Hawk was different; he had an engaging smile and a nervous laugh that just sent her into fits. It was obvious he had no experience with girls and didn't know how to react to any of her good-natured advances.
This is a test, though, she told herself. You can't sleep with him. Don’t give in; it's what you always do.
It was odd that he hadn't made a move on her yet. Most of the guys she had ever been with had been pushy and aggressive. The moment she showed the slightest bit of interest in them they were on her with no questions asked. She couldn't count the number of times what was supposed to be a harmless make-out session had escalated into more. It always started with kissing, and then their hands would travel up her shirt and eventually down her pants. Before she knew it they were having sex right there on her couch.
That's part of the reason I'm in this situation, she thought. I do that stuff because of my drinking.
Of course there were a ton of times that had happened when she was sober. That was a troubling thought for Ciara. Did she really have no respect for herself or her body? The thought was beginning to creep into her mind.
This is good, she realized. You're making a breakthrough, finding reasons for your behavior. It still doesn't explain why you did what you did, why you had to go see Doctor Haley in the first place. That's okay, though, all in due time.
Everything Hawk had told her was just plain amazing. She couldn't believe her mind could think up a backstory as good as the one Hawk had given her. Werewolves and biker gangs and secret towns, it was all very exciting. Now they were journeying through a forest to find a big, cranky, but lonely, bear who was also human. If she could remember everything he had said after she woke up, she would have to write it all down. It might make a hell of a story.
