by Jessica Ryan
Finally the orgasm subsided and his entire body went numb, reducing him to a shaky mess as he fell beside his mate. She continued to kick her legs and squirm beside him, moaning and massaging her breasts, which she had removed from her shirt.
Her nipples were much larger than any female's he had ever seen and much lighter. They were a pale pink and he could see light blue veins running inside of them. This was different from the firm, tight breasts he had seen on other females in his pack after they shifted. Her nipples were much different from the small, hard pebbles he had seen on female wolves. They looked much heavier, and they hung just a little bit lower than what he was used to seeing, but in his mind they were still exquisite. He had never seen breasts more beautiful than the ones in front of him.
He reached one hand up, taking a heavy mound in his hand and massaging it gently, feeling every curve and every inch of it. As he squeezed he brought his thumb up and used the pad to brush against one of her hard nipples. Ciara turned and smiled at him with a warmth and love that almost brought him to full attention again. He had claimed his mate and she had accepted his claiming. They didn't even need words; they knew what had happened.
"I have a lot of legal trouble back home," Ciara said, her expression turning to one of worry. "If I leave without paying my fines, I could go to jail."
"Money is not an issue," he said, propping himself up on his side. "I will take care of all of your issues before you move to my home."
"What about my family?" she asked.
"We will tell your mother we met at a church rehab group," he said. "Remember, I can blend into any situation. She will believe me."
"What about your pack?" she asked, her face looking even more worried than when she had asked about his family.
"I will figure that out. You don't need to worry about it," he said as he sighed and rolled onto his back. That was a horse of a different color, a problem that was not easily solvable. He had taken a mate, but he wasn't supposed to. She was the missing piece of his life and he wouldn't give her up, even if it meant passing the pack on to his beta. It wasn't something Hawk had ever considered doing, but she meant that much to him.
Chapter 22
Ciara could barely stand after the passionate experience she'd just been through. Hawk was an animal in every way possible, appearing scary and determined at first. But as the sex played out she realized how wonderful his domineering style was and she had immersed herself in his body and lovemaking.
She'd had men try to be rough with her before, but it never turned out right. There was nothing sexy about a man spanking her ass and calling her a bitch. As a matter of fact, it was one of the biggest turn-offs she could think of. Hawk's lovemaking was so different, so raw, so animal. Chills ran down her spine as she thought about the scene that had played out just five minutes before.
"So, what now?" she asked, trying to get her bearings as she put her bra back on.
"We climb," he said, looking up at the ceiling of the den. "We climb all the way to the top and we don't stop until we reach Beorn's cabin. Time is becoming an issue now. I don't know how long we've been in the forest, but a good night's sleep definitely helped my mental clarity."
"Did I help your mental clarity too?" she asked, giggling as she walked up to him and rubbed her ass against his crotch.
"I see clearer now than I ever did," he said, giving one of her cheeks a hard pinch. She could feel him hardening again behind his pants, but she knew they didn't have time to do anything about it. Disappointment flooded into her. She never wanted to leave the den; she wanted to spend the rest of her life making love to Hawk.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, concern in his eyes.
"I'm freaking starved," she said, dropping all pretense.
"Unfortunately I was unable to find food," he said, shaking his head. "But maybe Beorn will have some. We should reach his cabin in the next few hours."
"Hawk?" she asked, giving him a wary look. "How am I going to climb the cliff?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, shaking his head.
"I mean exactly what I asked. I'm not as strong as you and I have bad vertigo. How the hell am I going to get up the cliff?"
"Don't look down."
A mock smile spread across Hawk's face, but there was something in his tone that made Ciara wonder if he was being serious.
"Really?"
"No. I'll carry you."
"Carry me?"
"On my back."
"Can you hold me?" Ciara knew she didn't weigh a ton, but she wasn't exactly a small girl either. Hawk was definitely muscled, but it was more of a lean muscle than what she was used to seeing from bodybuilders.
"Easily," he said, giving her a look that told her she should have known better. "It won't even be a challenge."
"All the way up? You won't get tired?"
"Not at all."
"How strong are you?" It was a silly question. She felt like a meathead asking one of his bro's how much he could bench, but she was genuinely curious.
"I'd say an alpha wolf's strength is at least double that of a normal human, maybe even triple."
"Jesus."
Hawk just smiled as he shot a wink her way.
* * *
It was hard for Hawk not to laugh when he heard Ciara take in a deep breath as she looked up the cliff that they were about to scale. He had told her about the climb the day before, but the mixture of thirst and fatigue hadn't left her completely mentally sharp. Plus she had thought she was still dreaming their whole adventure, which had probably eliminated some of the fear she would have felt.
Now that she knew everything was perfectly real, and she could very well die, he saw the blood drain from her already pale face.
"Don't worry," he said, nudging her with his elbow. "I will take care of you."
"I'm just afraid of weighing you down," she said, looking at the ground.
"You weigh next to nothing to me. Do not worry."
Hawk stepped back, trying to strategize his climb and figure out where the best footholds were. He would have to zig-zag a few times, moving from left to right to get the best grip. It wouldn't be difficult, but it would be time-consuming.
His eyes found their way down from the cliff to the area around him, the area where he had taken another life the night before. It wasn't considered weird or wrong for a wolf to take another life, it was just considered a fact of life. In the last week alone Rowan had killed three different men to protect his mate without batting an eye. Still, Hawk couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that washed over him when he remembered Timber careening over the edge of the cliff, never to be heard from again.
He looked over to the spot where he'd caught Timber's teenage son, Sapling. Where he had stood over the boy, ready to extinguish his life with one powerful blow from his boulder fists. The boy had sniveled and begged, not wanting to leave the mortal coil this soon. He had denounced his father, denounced Forrest, denounced the Oakdale pack, all in the name of saving his skin. Hawk didn't believe him at all; he knew the child would seek revenge. He knew Sapling would run and tell Forrest what had happened. And yet he had still let the boy go.
It was only the night before when he had kicked the boy in the rear and told him to get lost, promising he would take the boy's life if he ever saw him again. Even though he was less than twelve hours removed from the incident, Hawk felt like he was peeking in on a distant memory, one that had happened to another person at another time.
He had been merciful, when mercy could very well get him killed. Did he regret letting the boy go? He wasn't sure if he did. Mercy was what separated him from the animal inside—the capacity to give mercy and to feel for someone else.
As he glanced over at Ciara he felt another emotion that separated him from the animal inside: love. In the past ten hours he had exhibited the capacity for mercy and the capacity for love. He wasn't an animal, not by a long shot. The brutish ways of his people didn't extend to Hawk; he was in complete control of hi
s wolf.
Something about that made Hawk feel better. He felt more suited to take on a human mate than a wolf mate. It had been right in front of his face his entire life, but he had never put two and two together. He was more human than wolf, and he had found a human to connect his heart to.
"Are we going, or are you going to stand there gawking at me?" Ciara asked, unable to hold back her laughter as she delivered her verbal jab.
"Sorry," he said, shaking his head. He hadn't realized he'd been standing like a statue with his eyes fixed on his mate for so long. It was a flaw of his to retreat into his own mind, one that he needed to fix if he was going to be an attentive mate.
"Let's do this," he said, walking up to his mate with his chest puffed out. As he reached her he removed his shirt. He smiled slightly as he saw his mate's eyes go wide as she sucked in a deep breath. He loved the affect his body had on her, an affect he had never had on anyone before.
Hawk smiled and crouched down, allowing Ciara to climb onto his back. He could automatically feel his jeans get tighter as arousal rushed to his thick length. Her breasts were smashed against his back and he could feel the heat from her loins radiating against his lower back. She was as turned on by him as he was by her right now. Unfortunately, he had a mission to complete and they couldn't delay any further.
"Are you sure you can do this?" Ciara asked him.
"Stop worrying," Hawk said, tired of the questions and doubt. "You just hold on tight. Don't choke me, though, and relax. We'll be up there in no time at all."
Ciara's arms tightened around his shoulders and she clasped her hands together tightly. As he moved forward he no longer felt her breasts heaving against his back muscles.
"Don't hold your breath," he said. "You'll pass out and fall."
"Well, that's reassuring," she said, swallowing hard.
"You won't fall if you stay awake. Just breathe like you normally would."
"You're the boss."
Hawk smiled inwardly as he dug his hands into the rocks along the wall. He was the boss; at least he liked to think of himself as the boss. He was the dominant alpha male here and he had claimed his mate. Fortunately she didn't realize how much power she actually held over him. He wasn't like the other males. He couldn't order his mate around and act like an ass all the time.
Aster had once told him he was too soft-hearted to be an alpha. Hawk had responded by clocking Aster right in the jaw, knocking him out cold. When Aster came to, he shook Hawk's hand and welcomed him to the council. Aster was gruff, almost caveman-like. He was what a normal human would probably imagine a dominant alpha werewolf to be: overbearing, loud, aggressive, proud and wild. He only let his guard down around his closest friends, like Rowan. To the rest of Bucklin he was a dictator not to be screwed with.
In Hawk's mind the alpha male was the leader, the one who set the example. He had the strength to enforce his rule and to make others follow his lead. But that lead didn't have to be one of brutish oppression. It didn't have to be one of domination and physical strength.
There were other qualities that an alpha male could demonstrate that required just as much strength as the others: compassion, love, self-control, forgiveness and mercy. These were all things that Hawk had found he had in spades over the other alphas, including a strong ability to remain level-headed in the most dangerous of situations.
No, he was doing just fine without being a caveman like the others. He could love his mate and defer to her without compromising who he was. To treat her like the others might would compromise who he was, and he wasn't about to do that.
Of course he had seen another wolf exhibit the kind of love and compassion for a mate that he felt in his heart: Rowan. Rowan wasn't an alpha in name only. For the longest time Hawk had thought of him as a caveman just like Aster. He was Bucklin's head enforcer. The title brought a lot of responsibility with it and a lot of violent headaches. He had seen Rowan's violent streak demonstrated a lot, especially in the last few weeks. But with his mate? He was just a gentle giant.
Hawk smiled outwardly this time; maybe they would change what it meant to be a wolf one wolf at a time. They had moved out of the forest to embrace humanity, but they were still living a façade. They were still wolves playing human. It was the humans who had brought that out in him and Rowan. It was love for a human that had finally revealed a humanity they had never exhibited before.
"We've gone pretty far!" Ciara said from Hawk's back, rousing him from his thoughts.
"Did you look down?" he asked.
"Just for a second."
"Don't look down!" Hawk had to chuckle; there was no fear in this one. She might have acted nervous at first, but it was all just a show. She had nerves of steel.
Hawk hazarded a look down himself. He wasn't as far up as she had suggested, but he was making great time and he didn't feel any fatigue at all. As he continued his climb he concentrated on the slow, steady, rhythmic motion of Ciara's breathing as it continually pushed her perfect breasts into his back. He didn't need his wolf anymore; he was as close to human as a werewolf could be.
Chapter 23
"How long has it been since you shifted?" Eva asked.
Rowan was stretching in front of the window, every bone in his back, shoulders and hips cracking as he twisted and turned. She loved the fact that he remained in human form all the time now. It was a sight to behold, but she feared he was losing touch with what he was.
"Not since the night of the funeral," he said, turning back to her and smiling. "The night we did our run. Why?"
"I just worry about you. That's all."
Eva was still sitting in bed, her nude body covered by a thin white sheet. She saw Rowan's eyes roaming over the sheet, trying to imagine what was underneath. He had taken her twice the day before, and she didn't think her hips could take the intense pounding he delivered every time they made love. She had woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and noticed bruises all over that region. Her man was insatiable, never able to get enough of her body.
"Why would you worry about me?" he asked, his eyes still tracing her entire form. "I'm doing great, especially now that I have you."
"I know. Believe me, I'm doing great too. It's just, well, I'm afraid you're losing touch with another part of you."
"My wolf?" he asked, recoiling and raising one eyebrow at her.
"Yes."
"Don't worry about that. He's fine."
"Before me, you used to shift every night to go to bed. You don't do that anymore."
"I did that because of the nightmares. You've ended those, baby. Without you I would still be shifting so I could run from the pain." He moved forward and sat next to her on the bed, taking both of her hands between his own as he delivered a soft kiss to her forehead. "You've erased the pain completely. I'm a new man."
"I just feel like you can't ignore the wolf, Rowan."
"He's not ignored."
"You told me when you killed the sheriff and the deputy that your wolf had dominated you and taken control."
"So?"
"Did you ever think that maybe it was because he's not let out enough? Did you ever think that the rage he felt was amplified by the fact that he was already angry about being shut out?"
"No," he said, shaking his head. "That's not it."
"What if it is?"
"It's not. Listen, Eva, I've never felt more human than when I'm with you. I've found a part of my humanity that I didn't think existed anymore. Before, I was a wolf pretending to be a man, but now I'm a man who happens to have this other side, a side that I'm getting farther and farther away from."
"But it's a part of you," she said, reaching up and rubbing the stubble on his face. She loved his rugged look, his manly musk and his beautiful honey-brown eyes. She loved everything about him, even his animal side. "I love you as a werewolf, not a human, Rowan. Don't forget who you are."
"Really?" he asked, standing up and looking down at her. "You're okay with the wo
lf side?"
"I'm not okay with some of the things it makes you do," she said. "Like the fact you think it's okay to just kill anyone who pisses you off."
"It's hard to separate the animal in those instances," he admitted.
"Exactly! Let him out more, Rowan. Let him explore, let him hunt. It'll be better for all of us. You said you guys moved out of the forest to escape the harsh lifestyle you were forced to live before, but you still exhibit a lot of the same qualities. You still live by a lot of rules of the jungle."
"I didn't live in a jungle."
"It's an expression, Rowan. You know what I mean." Based on the gulp he took, she knew the look she was giving him showed him she was serious. "Just go for a run at night every now and then. For me?"
"Okay," he said, putting his hands up and nodding his head quickly. "If you think it'll help my temper, then I'll do it."
"I'm just afraid one day you're going to deny it to the point that he takes over completely and Rowan the man will have no influence and no say."
"I see your point. I'll do it."
"Thank you!" she said, holding her arms out in anticipation of a big hug. Rowan dove down onto the bed, pulling her into a tight embrace. She could feel the heat between her legs again, her arousal growing each moment she felt his manly arms wrapped around her. He had been turned on by looking at her earlier, but his loving touch was doing it for her right now.
"I have a busy day," he said, pulling away and ruining the moment. "Aster is gathering the other alphas to discuss what we're going to do if Hawk doesn't return."
"It's only been three days."
"I know, but we have to have a contingency plan."
"The bear won't let anyone else into the forest, Rowan."
"We may have to force his hand. He may not have a choice if I lead the Dawnguard out there."
"You can't kill him," Eva said, feeling the worry returning to her face.
"I won't," Rowan promised. "But we may have to incapacitate him. It's either his pride or our lives, Eva. What do you want?"
