by M. Malone
“Sorry to hear that,” he lied. She was still waiting for him to hook the clasp, so he moved closer and tried to focus on threading the minuscule loop onto the hook. Instead, he was so entranced with the curve of her neck and the fact that when she posed like that, holding her hair out of the way, it pushed her bottom and her chest out. It took him five tries before he managed to get the necklace fastened correctly.
Kay snorted. “I’m not sorry about it. Craig was too in love with himself to have much room for me to like him.”
Her description was so perfect that Eli smiled. She stared at him. “You’re smiling.”
“I am,” he replied.
“You have a really nice smile. You should do it more often.”
Chris ran up and shoved his latest superhero toy in front of Eli’s face. “Look what I got, Uncle Eli!”
He turned to his nephew and tried to show the appropriate amount of interest in the toy, but his attention was on the enigmatic woman sitting next to him. She wasn’t intimidated by him and definitely got under his skin in a way that no one had in years.
If anyone was capable of understanding what it was like to make a mistake, it was Kay. Maybe it was time to allow someone to see him—the good, the bad, and the shameful.
For the first time in a long time, Eli wondered if it was time to come home in more ways than one.
CHAPTER FIVE
KAY WOKE CHRISTMAS morning to soft light coming through the blinds. Hope slept peacefully in the borrowed playpen, her bottom in the air as she clutched her blanket. Kaylee had been worried about how Hope would adjust to a new environment, but it looked like her daughter wasn’t the one she needed to worry about.
Julia had been kind enough to offer her a pair of boy shorts with the tags still on that she’d purchased for herself just the previous week, a pair of pajamas, and a sweater to wear the next day. Kay had taken a shower the night before, so she stripped down to her new underwear and then dressed in the borrowed sweater and her jeans. She was really thankful for everything Julia had offered, but it was a little weird to be wearing Eli’s mom’s clothes.
Yeah, because that’s totally sexy.
She cringed a little at the thought but shook it off. It wasn’t much, but at least Eli hadn’t looked at her the way he usually did, like he couldn’t wait to get away. They’d had a lot of fun last night watching the kids playing with their toys, and she wasn’t going to let anything ruin her holiday spirit. Especially not insecurity about her figure. She got enough of that from her mother—she didn’t need to add to it.
Next week she’d be sure to stop by the mall and buy Julia something really nice to say thank you. While she was there she’d pick up something for herself, too. It was time she started loving the body she was in. It might not be perfect but it was hers.
There was a soft knock at the door. She rushed to answer it before the sound woke up Hope.
Ridley stood in the hall and turned when Kay opened the door.
“Merry Christmas,” she whispered. “I heard you moving around and I wanted to ask what you like for breakfast. I’m trying to surprise Julia by cooking for her. She usually gets up before everyone else and makes breakfast, but I wanted to do it this year.”
Kay stepped out into the hall, pulling the door closed gently behind her. “Oh, I think you’ve surprised her already.”
Ridley flushed with pleasure. “I surprised myself.”
They walked down the hallway and into the wide, open, eat-in kitchen. Raina and Penny sat at the dining table drinking coffee.
“Good morning. And here I was thinking I was up early,” Kay joked.
Raina moved over slightly so she could sit down. “This is my usual hour now that Jada has decided she really likes play time at three a.m. She always goes back to sleep a few hours later, but then I can’t go back to sleep.”
Kaylee winced. “Sorry. Hope went through that phase, too. I think she actually had her nights and days mixed up at one point.”
Penny looked between them uncertainly. “Now you guys are scaring me. I think I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that.”
“Me, too.” Ridley pulled out a mixing bowl from beneath the counter. “I feel like I cheated a little bit since I got to be a mom without going through those rough early years. That’ll all be changing soon.”
Kay got up and stood behind Ridley as her friend pulled out pancake mix, eggs, and bacon. “What can I do to help?”
Ridley handed her the carton of eggs. “I’m putting you on scrambled-eggs duty. I would ask Raina, but the last time she made breakfast I think we were in high school.”
Raina didn’t seem offended by her sister’s statement at all. “Hey, I’m good at stuff. Just not things that are useful most of the time.”
“We all have our talents,” Ridley replied, then turned to Kaylee. “So, I noticed you seemed pretty cozy with my buff brother-in-law last night.”
Kay was in the middle of cracking an egg and missed slightly, dumping little pieces of shell into her egg yolks. With a sigh, she accepted the fork Ridley handed her and fished the pieces out.
“We weren’t cozy. He was just keeping me company so I wouldn’t be alone. That’s all.”
Penny and Raina exchanged glances over their coffee cups.
“What? He was keeping me company. There was a lot of family stuff going on and I didn’t want to get in the way. I’m an only child, so I have no idea how this stuff works.”
“We didn’t say anything,” Raina drawled. “But if I had said something it would be girl, are you sure you can handle Eli?”
“No, there’s no Eli and me. There’s certainly not going to be any handling.” Heat rushed to her cheeks as she realized how that sounded. “No handling of anything. Definitely not… that.”
The other girls snickered, and Ridley fanned herself with an oven mitt. “Are you sure? Because it looked like you two spent a lot more time talking than he would bother with if he was just being polite.”
Kay shook her head frantically, trying to get her thoughts together. “If there’s anything there, it’s mostly on my side. Basically our whole relationship is me drooling after him and hoping he doesn’t notice.”
Penny got up and poured herself another cup of coffee. Then she took another look at Kay and poured her one, too. “You look like you could use this.”
Kay took a big gulp. “He picked me up,” she blurted after a moment.
“What?” Raina stood too and leaned against the counter next to Penny.
Kay flushed. “It’s just, when he came to get me. I was a little shaky and he picked me up. Like it was nothing.”
“Eli’s a take-charge kind of guy,” Penny pointed out. “He reminds me of Matt in that way. He doesn’t wait for you to ask for help, he just figures out what you need and does it.”
“Yeah, but it’s more than that. You guys are twigs, so a guy picking you up is no big deal. But I’m a big girl. Most guys don’t even attempt it. I’d be worried they’d either drop me or end up with a hernia. But he could actually lift me. Not that I should be surprised. He looks like he could lift me.”
Raina snorted. “He looks like he could lift a car.”
All four women sighed appreciatively. Kay remembered how the hard muscles under his shirt had felt when she’d been cuddled in his arms. Why had she told him to put her down? She should have enjoyed the experience while it lasted.
“You know, Kay, I really think you should be one of my birthing partners. Raina will be there of course but it makes sense to have another mother there.” Ridley whistled innocently as she whisked the pancake batter.
“That’s good,” Penny interjected. “It’ll give her an excuse to be at the hospital with Eli.”
“Oh, I couldn’t. I’m not family,” Kay mumbled.
Ridley put down the carton of milk she was holding. “We’re all connected in some way to that gorgeous, loud, wonderful family in there. So that makes us a family of sorts, too. And it’s the best o
ne I’ve ever had.” Her voice wavered a little at the end.
Raina plunked her coffee cup down on the table suddenly and swiped under her eyes. “Ri, you have to stop with the waterworks. Ugh, I hate this having feelings crap. I can’t wait until I go back to my usual self. Then I can be a bitch unrepentantly.”
Ridley watched her sister with a knowing smile. “I’m afraid it’s permanent, sister dear.”
* * * * *
AFTER CHECKING ON Hope, Kay scrambled the eggs without any further incident. Ridley made pancakes and the family drifted in slowly, everyone coming in and grabbing a plate whenever they woke up. Julia and Mark came in first and Ridley made them both sit at the table so she could bring them their food.
When Julia tried to get up to help, Ridley sent her a stern look. “It’s our turn to take care of you for a change.”
Kay checked on Hope again and found the baby sitting up and having an animated babble conversation with herself. When she saw Kaylee, she got to her feet.
“Mama. Hi, my Mama.” Hope danced on her toes happily and stretched her arms up toward Kaylee.
“Merry Christmas, baby girl.” Kay snuggled her daughter closer. Hope wouldn’t get her gifts until later since they were at the apartment, but she’d be getting something even better today. Breakfast with the Alexanders and then dinner with her grandparents. When she’d looked out the window earlier the roads hadn’t been cleared yet, but she was sure they would be before long. Eli could drive her to her parents’ house later so they’d still get to see them.
Hope would be surrounded by people who cherished her all day long. Kay couldn’t think of a better way to spend the holiday.
She carried Hope to the bed and went through their usual morning ritual. After the baby was clean and dressed in the extra outfit Kay always kept in the diaper bag, they walked back to the kitchen.
“There’s my other angel.” Julia approached and this time Kay wasn’t at all surprised when she suddenly found herself with empty arms. Hope didn’t make a sound, just stuffed her fist in her mouth and allowed Julia to walk off with her.
Eli came in next and Kay stiffened. The other girls watched them closely. Kay felt like all the things they’d talked about that morning must be echoing around the kitchen and he’d somehow hear them.
“Morning. Did you sleep all right?” he grumbled.
She nodded. “Great. Hope did, too. Now she’s getting spoiled some more.”
He looked over to where his mom was lifting Hope in the air and blowing gentle kisses against her belly. “You’ve made my mom really happy, you know that?”
“She’s made us really happy, too.”
They ate breakfast together and then the family all gathered around the tree again. Kay watched the children shrieking as they tore wrapping paper off their gifts and tried to play with everything simultaneously. Raina plopped Jada down on the floor next to Hope. The two babies regarded each other with curious eyes before breaking into their excited baby chatter.
Still a little hesitant to get in the middle of their family time, Kay leaned against the doorframe leading to the family room and watched the chaos. It was like something from a movie, the extremely photogenic family all gathered around the huge eight-foot tree that twinkled with a multitude of lights.
Eli stood next to her and watched the scene with amused eyes. Then he leaned closer to her so she could hear him over the din. “I’m going to drive you to your parents later today. I’m sure they won’t appreciate us keeping you all to ourselves on Christmas.”
“They’ll be grateful to you. Just like I am. I’m so glad you were there yesterday.”
Kay wanted to say so much more. Not just to thank him for helping her, but for being the kind of person she knew she could count on. There were fewer and fewer of those people in her life lately.
Eli shrugged off her thanks. “I’m glad I could help. Actually, I’ve decided to move back home after the New Year, so I’ll be around if you get the sudden urge to fall into another ditch or something.”
Kay was startled into letting out a little giggle. “You made a joke!”
His lips pulled up just slightly at the edges. “It happens. Occasionally.”
She could hardly believe it. It had to be the holiday spirit because she’d never seen Eli like this. Her eyes drifted up and she saw the sprig of mistletoe hanging over the doorjamb. He followed her gaze and his smile disappeared. Then his eyes dropped to her mouth.
Everything inside her softened. She wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking or if the mistletoe was actually having some effect, but in that moment, she closed her eyes and made a wish. Kiss me. She wanted it more than her next breath.
A second later, there was the soft brush of skin on skin as his lips whispered against hers.
Her eyes popped open and she sucked in a desperate breath before his mouth settled on hers again. His lips were warm and soft and perfect. Instinct, or perhaps it was just pure shock, was the only thing that allowed her to kiss him back. Her hand trailed up the incredibly tight muscles in his chest and settled against his cheek. When he pulled her closer, she melted against him, boneless. If he hadn’t held her so tightly, she probably would have melted into a puddle at his feet.
It was way too soon when he pulled back and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
“Merry Christmas, Kay.”
Then he turned and left her clinging to the doorjamb for support.
* * * * *
ELI HAD ALMOST made it out of the house when he heard someone calling his name. Jackson stomped down the back steps, pulling his coat on over his sweater.
“Hey, hold up.” Jackson nodded at the barn where Eli was headed. “Are you going to get more wood?”
“Yeah. I noticed we were getting low.” His shoulders sagged. As long as it wasn’t Kay, he could deal with it. It had taken all he had to leave her with just a kiss. But he would never want to embarrass her.
“I’m glad I caught you alone. I wanted to talk to you.”
They fell into step walking toward the barn, the newly fallen snow crunching under their boots.
“About?” Eli prompted.
Jackson shrugged, but he looked so uncomfortable that Eli suddenly knew the answer. He wasn’t naive enough to think that no one in his family had noticed him kissing Kay under the mistletoe. In a family of busybodies, it was impossible to do anything without attracting attention.
“It’s about Kay, isn’t it?”
Jackson turned to him then. “This is going to sound weird, but I wanted to ask what your intentions are.”
Eli let out a guffaw. “My intentions? Who are you, her daddy?”
Jackson chuckled along with him. “I know it sounds strange, but she doesn’t have a lot of friends. Ridley and I have both grown really fond of her over the last year. She’s a nice girl. I just don’t want to see her get hurt. Even unintentionally. Or get pushed into anything she can’t handle.” Jackson narrowed his eyes.
Ahhh. That’s what this was really about. His brother was referring to Eli’s varied and experimental sexual background.
Eli wished he could tell his little brother not to worry, that he had absolutely zero interest in Kay and wouldn’t hurt her. But he’d done enough lying to his family. There were so many things they didn’t know about him. So many horrible things he’d done in his past. He couldn’t face it if they ever learned the truth about him.
Or if Kay did either.
She looked at him like he was her knight in shining armor. For one magical moment, he’d been selfish and taken what she offered. It had truly been selfish, too because he knew if she ever found out the truth about him she wouldn’t want him anywhere near her.
“Kay is a sweet girl and I like her a lot, but she’s too young for me. I’m just sticking close to keep her safe.” Eli almost choked over the words. But it was Christmas. It was time he thought about what was best for her. Best for them all.
“If anyone’s a danger to her, it�
�s you,” Eli continued. “You guys spend a lot of time alone together. She looks up to you and that could easily turn into something else. She’s been taken advantage of before. She needs to know someone will help her for the right reasons.”
Jackson watched him for a long moment. “Oh hell, it’s already too late.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You already care about her,” Jackson stated accusingly.
Eli stopped walking. “I told you, I’m just looking out for her. It’s nothing.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you could see your face when you talk about her.” Jackson clapped Eli on the shoulder so hard it almost knocked the wind from him. “I take back everything I just said. Instead I’ll say good luck.”
Eli held open the door to the barn where his parents kept their stash of firewood. “I don’t need luck. But I do need your help with something.”
* * * * *
KAY LOOKED UP anxiously when the back door opened. After Eli had left, she’d agonized over every little thing she’d done. Had she been too forward? Maybe she shouldn’t have been so obvious, staring at the mistletoe. They’d just gotten on good footing, and maybe he’d felt obligated to kiss her.
He probably hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings.
She watched as Jackson stepped across the threshold. Then he closed the door behind him and headed straight for her. Her heart sank. Eli hadn’t come back and Jackson had the carefully detached look she’d come to recognize as his bad news face.
“Hey there. Eli wanted me to tell you that something came up and he had to go. But I’ll drive you to your parents’ house later.”
Kay nodded. “Of course. Thank you. I really appreciate it.” She walked back to the hallway leading to the bedrooms, resisting the tears that burned behind her eyelids. She would never know how she managed it, but she kept it together until she got in the bedroom. As soon as she closed the door behind her, she let go and tears spilled over her cheeks.
It wasn’t just that she was hurt and embarrassed. It was the fact that she’d really believed for that one shining moment that Eli felt the same way she did.
