“Erika look a good man is hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget?”
“Aria my dear sweet naïve girl is that your fiancé you are speaking of or someone else?” I am white as a ghost.
Just then a car pulls up into the driveway the lights are blinding as they shine on the pool in front of us and I am immediately reminded of the movie Christine and how scary head lights of cars are to me since seeing that Steven King movie.
We hear the car door open and shut from along the right side of the house then the echo of footsteps as they draw near.
Erika says
“It's probably Ian”
“I betcha it’s Christopher, missing you?” as I take a sip of vodka and smile at my friend. Ok so sipping is not drinking to get drunk, I can have a few sips.
“You can’t see the bride before the wedding! It’s bad luck Groom-ie!” Erika yells into the night air, she is funny when she is drinking, not the judicial civil-service worker she normally is.
“My luck can’t get any worse!” a deep voice echoes from the side of the house and I know immediately who it is without a doubt.
Tristan walks from the side of the house and stands in front of his car.
We are laughing and giggling thinking its Ian, or Christopher, when are both floored, it’s my worst nightmare, my secret hearts-desire and the love I will take to the grave, it’s Tristan Bach did I say can this day get any worse?…jeez
Gotta love fate, some have faith but fate is what kicks us all in the ass.
Chapter 39
WE’LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
What can I say he is dressed in a black suit, crisp white linen shirt, his black tie is loose, his top button undone, that tousled black hair of his that frames his tortured face, he’s a vision, a sight for these sore eyes.
He is striking in stature, bold in appearance and he demands your attention, yet he is humbled before me, he is laced with distress as his hazel eyes gaze to the pool then he acknowledges Erika and then he locks on to mine I feel a chill run through me and then a warm glow fills my heart as I am so glad to see him, so hungry to just bask in him, he looks so sad and dark but I love him just the same.
Erika's jaw drops, as she mumbles through her second sky vodka.
“Habeas corpus, Latin for you shall have the body” as she gets a load of this amazing man before us, he is hot, devastatingly handsome, the ever present stubble hints to the bad boy of yester year, but oh hell and holy beast he is alluring as ever, temping and irresistible, as his sex on fire stamina exudes out every pore of his edifice he just makes me want to jump into his arms, I glance over at Erika she is my buffer, thinking she is here and she will run interference but girlfriend falters and heeds to his devilish good looks as well, Oh, no, no, no! Shit get a grip your honor! Remember you hate that man you are eyeing up over there!
“Hi Erika right? How are you?” he looks at her as she gathers her composure.
“I’m gonna…,” she looks at me and gasp! She looks as if she has seem me for the first time, Does she see what Cheswick saw? She frowns at me as her glare shadows over my discontent, I got a feeling she almost feels sorry for me, or sorry that I can’t keep him? Oh I don’t know I’m an array of emotions this evening and I don’t care what she sees who she sees me with, this is my last night as Aria Macy.
“Um I'll um leave you two, Aria I’m gonna go and soak in a nice relaxing bath” I didn’t expect her to leave us alone but then again she saw my face and she knows the score.
“Ok I left everything for you in the guest room.”
Erika walks past me with the look of concern, she stops and hugs me, and then walks back into the house shutting the French doors behind her.
I have not seen him in a week, just one look at him and the whole day comes back to me in flashbacks, I walk slowly towards him and then quickly I jump into his arms and he holds me tight and enfolds me in his arms as if he is hiding me from the world. Oh how I have missed being in his arms, he sighs his lips are at my ear, he smells so good, Chanel Egoiste, he holds me close with one hand around my waist while his other cradles my head. I don’t say a word. I feel so at home in his arms why do I never want to let him go?
Tristan kisses the top of my head he makes me feel cherished.
“Have you been smoking Aria?”
“I had a rough day give a girl a break”
“Oh” I inhale deeply as my head is buried in his chest and I say what I feel
“Tristan you smell so good!”
“You don’t smell the way you use to!” he remembers me in Chanel,
“I changed perfumes.”
“Why Aria I thought you live and die by Chanel?”
I pulled away from him just a little to look up at his face and into those eyes that I see forever in.
“Because it reminded me of you!” he leans down to kiss me and I put my French tip manicured index finger to his lips that are so soft and warm.
“Please don’t” He is hurt that I rebuke him; he kisses my finger instead
I bury my head back against his chest as he holds me tight, my heart just wants one last memory of him before I am to be someone else’s.
“Why is it all day that you have been running through my mind?”
“No wonder I'm so exhausted! I know bad joke”
“You drove me crazy all day” I smile against his chest as I try to sound angry, his chin is on my head.
“I heard you had a visitor today baby?” I don’t want to let him go and he holds onto me as we talk.
“Yes, then I went to get a Starbucks and the piano player in the grand salon of Tower Centre was playing the piano concerto no.2, just pulling at my heart strings, the self-consuming bastard, he did the piece no justice”
Tristan kisses my head as I continue with the recount of my day while he holds me in his arms. neither one of us wanting to let go, I find solace that we both feel the same connection as if we ever had a chance in hell of fighting off the electrical charge between us.
“Then to top it all off the wine at the rehearsal dinner tonight arrives and the bottle is placed before me, it’s from Chateau de Bach estate winery, so all through dinner your wine sat between Ian and I! Yes Mr. Bach it is safe to say you have plagued me all day.”
“Aria little things like that happen to me all day, when it comes to you, I’ll hear your favorite song on the radio, I’ll see your initials on a license plate and my thoughts are of you, but the worst is when I smell your perfume on someone else and all I have to console me is a photo of you in my car visor.”
I hug him harder as I put my hands under his jacket and feel his warm body against mine
“Sorry.”
“You should be” he tries to make me laugh
My left hand in playing with his tie I pull it looser, I told ya I can’t resist, I love yanking and pulling ties off of men.
“You makes a nice Windsor knot as well” I check his handy work, he tucks me into his left arm, then reaches for my fingers and kisses them one by one, he sends shooting sensations though me, wow I am gonna miss these tantalizing displays of affection from him.
“Aria I will let you go as you wish, but I will never be further from here as he points to my head, and here he points to my heart.” he is going to make me cry. I reach over and open my purse and take out the little blue box that has drove me crazy all day.
“I should give this back to you Tristan I can’t....”he cuts me off...he tucks me back under his arm
“Aria listen to me I will let you go because that is what you wish, but when you need me to come and get you send me this ring”
I look up at him and he is serious, he is letting me go. I don’t want to look at his eyes anymore, they are filled with hurt, sorrow and they show me that what he is telling me is not what I see in his eyes I bury my face in his neck and I hug him hard, with a blue Tiffany box is in my hand as my hands are around his neck we look like the perfect ad for Tiffany’s man give girl lit
tle blue box and girl hugs man with all her might. Sadly pictures are very deceiving.
“I'm glad to see you Tristan; I don’t want you to hate me” he runs his finger through my curly hair down my back.
“I could never hate you, I have realized that this is all my fault, this was always all my doing, from when we met to when we broke up, I realized that I can’t be mad at you for moving on with your life.”
“You were pretty cruel”
“Cruel or truthful? Now he pulls away to look me in the eyes and I can’t lie to him.
“I would say some of one and less of another, but mostly I felt that I hurt you the way you hurt me, and I never want anyone to feel that pain, that torture, that is hell”
“You will always be my love Aria” he whispers and kisses me behind my ear.
I look up at him, his hazel eyes warm up a bit. He whips a tear as it falls from my cheek, I didn’t even know I was crying, am I sad that I won’t wake up with him tomorrow? Or am I happy that we made peace?
I curl my hand under my chin as my head rest against his chest, when he speaks it echo’s like a vibrato through me, I just love it, I have missed him so, I'm in his arms where I always want to be, oh gosh to just stop time and hold onto this moment forever that would be my wish.
“Tristan when did you buy this ring?”
“The Tuesday morning I saw you in traffic, you know when you illegally raced me through Gotham city like Batman on a mission!”
I laugh and so does he as we lighten the mood between us, still he holds me close.
“I was very mad at you a few days ago?”
“Really what else did I do?” he sounds concerned yet mocking.
“I saw Mark from Tiffany’s at our Tower Centre meeting and he mentioned you bought a ring and he assumed you were getting married and I thought it was … he cuts me off
“And you thought I went back to my ex?” I don’t say anything as I bury my face in his chest and realize that he would never go back to her after what we have shared, and now I am shutting my eyes hiding of embarrassment. he sighs deeply and speaks .
“Aria what am I going to do about you, the hell we put each other through, after spending the whole weekend with you in my arms, to think that I could ever be with anyone else is nuts. I waited two years for you Aria, there is no one but you that I want, you must believe me”
I throw my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair,
“I believe you, I believe you” I look up at his half smile and he goes to kiss me again and I hug him, his lips land on my neck kissing me, biting me, sucking on that sweet spot that only he knows. His touch ignites throughout me, he is the only man who knows where my sweet spots are because he put them there. He plays with my hair and I move my head and I bury my face in his chest again, shit he just got me wet, who the hell am I kidding he got me wet when he pulled up in the damn driveway!
“I'm glad you came to see me” I take a deep breath and inhale his scent, Chanel Egoiste, and a linger of a cigarette he must have had.
“I wish I was taking you home with me”
“You really know how to get me where it counts.” he kisses my head, his sigh resonated in his chest and through me.
“Do I?” he smiles
“You know you do” I smile
“I want to kiss you Aria…” he smiles
“I can’t Tristan…” he stops smiling
“Why?” I hug him hard
“You know why”
“I never wanted you to be someone else’s”
“I never wanted anyone else”
“I thought we'd grow old together”
“I was too afraid to face my feeling for you Tristan”
“My worst fear was that I was not good enough for you”
“All I ever wanted was you”
“I can’t promise that I'll stay away”
“You were a sight for sore eyes tonight”
“Seems I have been making you sore a lot lately” I look up at him
“If I did not go to confession yesterday that would have done it for me!” He presses his forehead to mine
“Your smile does it for me, always has, always will” How have I managed to screw up my life so bad? Why am I even in this situation? And the worst thing of all of this is no matter what I do, what I choose someone gets hurt.
We both gaze at the water in the pool, it illuminates our embrace, we stand and hold one another. I am going to have to get over him again, I am going to put this in my past and I am going to have to say goodbye to him.
“Aria I should go”
“Take care of yourself Tristan I mean that” he stands back and takes my hands in his.
“If he doesn’t take care of you Aria, I’m coming back to get you” I look up into his hazel eyes and I know he is serious, his eyes are glassy, he is holding back tears, my heart bleeds for this man, he brings my hands to his lips and kisses them slowly as his tears fall onto my hands, he pulls away and walks to his car, he opens the door with one leg in, he turns and looks at me one last time as tears fall down my face, he gets in shuts the door and backs out tires screeching and he is gone like batman. I wave to him one last time as I am consumed with emotions.
The night sky is filled with stars, I’ve had my fill of sky for the evening, vodka before wedding my day not a good combination. To be in the arms of the man I want, on the night before I marry the man I am promised to is pain beyond recognition.
I eye the Tiffany box on the table that comes with more than I have ever imagined, so foolish was I to think I could have it all.
The harsh reality is with a ring on my finger and a ring in a box, the choices I have made are challenged, my brave face is tested and I can’t dispute or argue I’ve confronted my longing and subjected my heart and went knowingly into a wedding affair. They say heavy is the head that wears the crown, doesn’t come close to the one who wears the veil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are cordially
Invited
To the
Wedding
Of
Aria Elise Macy
To
Ian Thomas Bollinger
St Patrick’s Roman Catholic Church
Cleveland Ohio 44113
June 30, 2012
Three O’ Clock pm
Reception to follow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter40
MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE
June 30, 2012
My wedding day has finally arrived, it’s been two weeks of soul searching, illicit sex, old ex’s and new horizons. I still say sleep is over rated, I tossed and turned until I nearly fell out of bed. Thoughts and conversations that I have had for the past two weeks haunt me in my dreams and plague me all my waking hours. I have come to the conclusion that the sand man does not know where I live.
I look out as dawn is still another hour or so away, I take stock that this glorious day is finally here. A girl dreams of her wedding day her whole life and finally that it is here I just want to take solace and saver the few precious moments that are still just mine.
I look around my bedroom and realize when I come back to this house I will be a married women, I will have a new life, a new role as wife and one day mother and I will be happy. Jeez am I going to have to tell myself this all the time?
I find it funny that I don’t feel the reassurance of any of those statements. Oh well I am the eternal optimist with a smidge of pessimism for good measure. I know today will work out fine it has to right? They say that ‘hope springs eternal’ and the one I remember ‘happy is the bride the sun shines on’ let’s just hope the Mr. Sun keeps up his end of the bargain. The hair and makeup people will be here at eleven and if my memory serves me correct Oliver should be bringing them.
I have to say if it wasn’t for dear old Oliver I would not be where I am, he is the best partner, friend, personal assistant and advisor in the world. He is s
o profound that his words echo the most in my mind ‘Aria do you love Ian? Are you in love with Tristan?’ I am hoping today I will find the happiness that I have been looking for, this wedding is just the thing to focus and ground me.
I think coffee is in order. On that note I grab my robe and I head to the kitchen and start my wedding day.
My cell rings BATMAN BATMAN BATMAN
“Hello there my handsome groom”
“Good morning my beautiful bride”
“I knew you’d be up this early”
“So what are you doing today? I go for playful
“I thought I’d marry the most beautiful girl in the world today” “Aria what the hell is this?” oh shit Erika is up and she has the Tiffany box in her hand.
“You are so sweet Ian, I have to get going”
“I love you Aria”
“I love you too”
We hang up and I walk over to the coffee maker and turn it on. Erika has the Tiffany box open and she is looking at me, shit shit shit, why didn’t I put that ring away. I guess I better start talking before she goes ape-shit-crazy-bananas on me.
“Well Aria what is this?” I take a deep breath and bring her into the kitchen and sit her down because she has that look in her eyes like she can spit fire.
“Oh that old thing Erika got it from the bubble-gum machine” I go for mocking and sarcasm to see if it lightens the mood.
“Aria you tell me where Tiffany engagement rings come out of bubble-gum machines and I’m there” ok so wit is not her thing today, so I go for the truth it has to rear its ugly head sooner or later.
“This is what has plagued me”
“Aria you gotta be a little more specific, you are wearing an engagement ring and I am holding one hell of an engagement ring what the hell is going on? Please for the love of God fill me in?”
“That is Tristan’s ring”
“He gave you an engagement ring knowing you were already engaged?”
A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair) Page 51
