by LK Collins
I’ll be there in 30, wear a dress and no panties.
I laugh out loud. I don’t wear dresses.
You do tonight. Now you’ve only got 27 minutes left.
Tossing my phone on my bed, I scramble out of my room and into Aubrey’s closet. She’ll have something for sure. Searching through dress after dress after dress, none of them seem right, ‘til I come upon one of the last ones. It’s dark red with tight long sleeves and a billowing black bottom. My black ankle boots will look perfect with this. Taking it quickly into my room, I shed my pajamas and slide on the short dress, leaving all undergarments off. My hair is messy, super messy, so I decide to pull it into a low, side bun with a few locks f f framing my face. Then I apply a thin coat of make-up and brush my teeth before adding my lip-gloss.
There, done and done, just as there is a knock on my front door. With a stomach full of butterflies, I walk towards it, gently placing my hand on the knob. Why am I so nervous? He knocks again, not waiting patiently, and this time I open it. Standing before me, with a huge bouquet of flowers, is Bain. He’s in a black button-down shirt and jeans, his light coat is slightly open, letting me have a good look at all of him.
“Hey,” I say keeping my cool. This time, I won’t let my confidence get away from me. We’ve agreed to no feelings and I know he knows how serious I am about that. There is no harm in spending some time with him.
“Damn, you look sexy in that dress.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” he says pressing his lips to mine. His kiss catches me off guard. But he smells amazing…I hope he says fuck dinner. He steps inside, handing me the flowers and asks, “Do you live here alone?”
“No, I have a roommate.” I put the flowers in a vase.
“Ready?” he asks and I know he means dinner, not to fuck.
I nod my head and follow him outside. Surprisingly, it’s a nice night out. Well, at least it’s not freezing. He grabs my hand and I look down at our intertwined fingers.
My anxiety spikes and I remind him, “Remember, no feelings.”
“I heard you the other day; you don’t need to say it again. I should be the one telling you not to have feelings for me. I’m pretty fucked up.”
“Well, that makes two of us.”
“So I know your rules. But when I’m with you, you’re mine and I’ll do as I please. Don’t worry about me; I’m fine with things just like this. I’m not looking for anything serious.”
I smile, looking into his light eyes as he opens the door to his car and ushers me in. The cool leather touches the backs of my thighs. Bain hops in the driver’s seat and pulls onto the main road without any more words. “Where are we headed?” I ask.
“The city.”
It’s been a while since I’ve been to New York. “Do you live there?” I ask.
“No, I live in Jersey, about fifteen minutes from your work.”
“Do you live alone?” He shakes his head, but doesn’t answer my question. “Roommate?” I ask, hoping to God he’s not married or living with a girlfriend or some crazy shit like that.
“If you consider my parents that, then yes.”
Well, that’s better than I’d thought. “What do you do for a living?”
“Nothing as of now. I was going to try and make a living playing basketball, but I just left school to handle some family stuff.”
“Really?” I question.
“Yeah, but my heart’s not in the game anymore. For now, I need to be with my family; that’s what’s important.”
I wonder what in the world caused him to leave school and a shot at something so big. Maybe one of his parents is sick?
“Let’s not start the night off talking about my problems. So tell me, what’s your favorite food?”
Turning in my seat, I stare at him. “Really, anything.”
“Anything?” he repeats after me.
“Yeah, I eat just about everything, and if I’ve never had it, I’ll try it.”
“Damn, that’s about the best answer you could have given,” he says, loosening his grip on the wheel as we cross over the Brooklyn Bridge.
For the rest of the drive, we keep the conversation light and enjoy some quiet time as well. I’m comfortable with Bain, more comfortable than I have been with anyone in a long time.
After an hour drive, we pull up to the valet at Damikus’ and I’m shocked. I’ve always dreamed of coming here, but never expected someone to bring me on a first date.
“This okay?” he asks.
I nod my head in agreement, spurring him to get out of the car. Walking around, he greets the valet and then helps me out. Entering the all white eatery, it is more beautiful in person than I’d ever imagined. Bain talks to the hostess who seats us right away. The booth is small and private, shaped like a U.
The waiter comes right over and takes our drink order. I order something strong to calm my nerves – I don’t belong in a place like this. Sitting next to Bain, his arms are stretched across the back of the booth, tattoos showing, and he’s got not a care in the world. I can’t help, but drool as he takes one of his hands and runs it through his hair. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.
“Like what?”
“Like you want me to fuck you right here, right now, on this table in front of everyone.”
I didn’t know I was looking at him any specific way, I was just admiring how goddamn sexy he is, but now that he mentions it, my legs are pressed together and my insides are tight. “I’m just admiring the view.”
“Don’t play coy with me. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t be afraid to say it.”
Obeying his command, I lean into his neck and breathe him in, allowing his warmth to absorb into me. Then taking my teeth, I begin to nibble and suck on his rough skin, he tastes so sweet. A light growl erupts from within him and he moves his hand gripping my hip. I hold his thigh and then the waiter clears his throat, interrupting us.
“Your drinks,” he says. Bain scowls at him and I pull away, but Bain stops me, holding me close to him. The waiter can tell that Bain’s pissed and nods his head in apology before walking away.
His eyebrows are creased and clear frustration is written all over his whole face. “You’re the one that wanted to have dinner,” I say. “I would have been just fine staying at my house and fucking.”
“I’m sure you would’ve, but now that we’re here, we’re going to make the best of it,” he says, reaching under the table and beneath my skirt, cupping my sex. My breathing immediately becomes heavy, as he slides a finger in between my folds, touching my clit. I move my hands, bracing one of his thighs, and leave the other next to me.
“Fuck, Arion, you’re so hot,” he whispers into my ear.
I whimper quietly and push myself against his hand. “You want more, don’t you?”
“Please,” I practically beg, nodding my head.
“I’ll give you more, but only if you’ll come right here for me in the middle of this restaurant.” I contemplate his words, then he sinks two fingers inside of me and I know what I want. The sensation is too great to fight. It’s absolutely intoxicating.
While my eyes roam the sea of tables, I fight to keep them open while making sure I stay completely quiet. I wonder if anyone else knows what we’re doing. Then Bain says, “Look at me, concentrate on my face as if we are having a conversation, and whatever you do, don’t close your eyes when you come.”
I nod my head while Bain works my pussy slowly, both inside and out. “You like this, don’t you?” he questions into my ear. “You like me getting you off in public, huh?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Mmmmmmm,” he growls, kissing my neck.
My body tightens and tingles from his touch. The adrenaline alone is such a rush. Then the waiter comes by and I freeze, expecting Bain to stop, but he doesn’t. He only slows the thrusts and pinches my clit, rolling it between two of his fingers.
“Do you both know what you wo
uld like tonight?”
I shake my head and Bain laughs at me, ordering for both of us. That’s why he wanted to know what kind of food I liked. He had this planned all along. The waiter glances between the two of us as Bain speaks and each time he looks at me, I become nervous. Bain keeps massaging my clit, especially when the waiter looks at me. It’s like he wants the guy to know what we are doing.
Finally, he turns his back and walks away. “You’re so fucking hot letting me do this to you. He knew what we were doing. Did you see the way he looked at you?”
I lean my head back, unable to answer. His movements are quicker and everything inside of me is right on the edge. Jesus, I can’t believe I’m about to do this.
“Look at me,” he commands. The second I open my eyes and look into his, I lose it, coming hard with a surprisingly and unusually violent jolt to my system. Bain claims my mouth and I let my body spiral. Thankfully, our kiss quiets any noises that were about to escape. Then, my breathing slows and the realization of what I’ve just done, hits me as Bain says, “You’re my new favorite aphrodisiac.”
Jesus Christ, could this guy be any more charming? All sorts of thoughts rush through my mind as he pulls his fingers from inside of me and takes them right to his mouth, sucking off my arousal and orgasm. “Mmmmm,” he says. “I think I’ll skip my dinner.”
Looking at him with my jaw hung open, he laughs.
“You can’t be serious,” I respond.
He removes his wallet and begins to pull out a hundred dollar bill. “Oh my God, Bain. You are fucking crazy.”
“I know what I want, and food is not it. Let’s leave, we can get a hotel and stay the whole night together.”
His words change everything. NO! As enticing as he is and as much as he intrigues me, I can’t. That’s a rule I won’t break again, not after the other night with Brady, I just can’t. “I’m really hungry,” I lie.
-Bain-
“Fine, if you’re hungry then we’ll eat. I wouldn’t deprive you,” I say.
She smiles at me and I notice that her usual smirk and feistiness from earlier are gone. Did I say something wrong? Was getting her off, here, too much? She seemed to really enjoy it, but now she’s different. The waiter comes back with new drinks, looking refreshed as if he just jerked off.
I know he knew what we were doing; I saw him staring at my hand under her dress. “Your food should be right out,” he says.
“Thanks.”
“I’m going to go to the restroom real quick,” Arion says.
I nod my head watching her slide out of the booth. She is something else. As she moves across the restaurant, I watch just about every guy in here turn and stare at her.
I’m one of them, and it makes me want to follow her. I try and take my mind off of her by scrolling through my phone ‘til she returns.
“Hey, sorry,” Arion says returning to the table.
“Don’t be,” I respond, setting my phone down.
“Listen, I need to be honest with you.” Swallowing hard, I nod my head not liking the sound of her tone. “Bain, I like this. I like what we are doing. But…” she trails off and puts her head in her hands.
“Just say it, I can handle it.”
“I can’t stay the night with you, tonight or ever.”
I blink a few times trying to process why. “Fuck, you have a boyfriend, don’t you?”
“NO!” she counters. “It’s not that at all. It’s me, it’s my past, and because of it, sleepovers are off limits. They complicate things and quite frankly, are more intimate.”
“Why are you like this?” I ask confused. If she’s that into sex, why doesn’t she want to spend the night together?
“It’s a really long story.”
“Well, I have all the time in the world,” I respond, a little annoyed.
She looks at me a little unsure and I actually feel bad for the sarcasm that was laced in my tone. “In all seriousness, you can tell me. I promise I won’t judge you.”
She nods her head as she begins, “I lost my fiancé about seven months ago. He’s a marine.” She corrects herself. “He was a marine, and after the news that he died, I just didn’t know how to cope. I fell into a depression, and one night when I was drunk, had a random hook up with one of my roommate’s friends. I realized then that sex could be a release, almost a way to let go and forget the pain for a little bit. Honestly, Bain, I don’t normally do dinners or anything like this, but you made it impossible to say no.”
“Fuck, Arion.” Those are the only two words I get out. How in the world do I respond to that? Her honesty completely catches me off guard. Here I am being a complete prick, wanting to spend the night together, thinking more about myself, when she’s been through hell. She is so strong, considering everything she’s endured. The waiter sets down our meals and when she looks at her food, she smiles. “You like it?” I ask.
“Yes, it’s perfect.”
“Good. Listen, I’m sorry I was rude,” I begin to say, spreading my napkin on my lap, but she cuts me off raising her hand.
“You weren’t rude. I totally get that my quirks are frustrating. Fuck, I would feel the same way if I were you. I just wanted you to know that it has nothing to do with you.”
“Well, I appreciate the honesty. I really do. Probably more than you realize, and I’ll respect your decisions, whatever they may be.”
Her smirk is back as she glances at me out of the corner of her eye. “Thank you.”
_____
“She looks good, don’t you think, son?”
I nod my head answering my dad’s question as we drive back from visiting my mom in Virginia. He reminds me of a little kid, hanging on to so much hope that she’ll make it through this without relapsing. I myself am more of a realist and know that a high percentage of alcoholics will relapse within the first year alone. I can’t imagine what that would do to him.
“You’re quiet today. Is everything all right?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’m good. I’m just lost in my own head.”
“It’s an easy thing to do. Listen, I have a convention is Seattle this weekend. Will you be all right while I’m gone?”
“Dad, I’m twenty-two. I’ll be fine.”
“I know, I just worry about you.”
And I know right where this is going. He’s worried that I’m going to hurt myself like Kinsey did. Well, that’s not me. It’s not something I would ever contemplate doing.
“I’ll be fine, I promise.”
He looks over at me and smiles.
“Thank you.”
I couldn’t imagine putting him through that pain after experiencing it myself and seeing what it did to both him and my mom. Resting my head back, I close my eyes.
Then my phone vibrates and I see a new text from Arion. I haven’t heard from her since I dropped her off after dinner. I wanted to fuck her so badly that night, but I respected her wishes of no overnight visits and it was late, so I was a gentleman. Since then, I have given her some space.
You doing all right? I haven’t heard from you, her text reads.
Yeah, I’m okay. Handling more family business, plus I wanted to give you a little space.
I don’t need space, Bain. In fact I need the opposite.
Now I’m completely confused. How does this work? I can’t have feelings, we can’t stay the night together, and she’s fresh off of losing her fiancé, but she wants me all up in her business?
Please clarify for me what you need, because I’m fucking confused.
I need you to not fall in love with me or ask me to spend the night with you. Apart from that, I’m down for anything. I wanna fuck. I wanna see you completely naked. I wanna feel your cock inside of me.
Are there other rules?
No.
Can we fuck other people?
If you want to, yes.
Jesus. What kind of girl says shit like that? This is something that most guys would die for. I’m not sure what to do, or how to ha
ndle her. I guess with my dad going away for the weekend, I could put the ball in her court.
I live on 118 Riverview Terrace Way; I’ll have the house to myself this weekend. You’re welcome to come by any time you want.
Finally, my dad pulls his Range Rover into the driveway and it’s never felt so good to be home and out of the cramped quarters of a vehicle. Note to self, no more road trips for me.
“When will you be home?” I ask my dad as we walk into the house, noticing Velma, our housekeeper, cleaned it to perfection while we were gone.
“My flight gets back Monday morning. I had Velma stock the fridge so you should have everything you need here. But please—”
Cutting him off, I give him a hug to relieve some of his anxiety. “Dad, I’ll be fine. I swear to God, you don’t have to worry about anything. I won’t put you through that pain.”
He looks at me with tears in his eyes. “I’m going to go pack.”
Smiling, I flop down on the sofa and still wonder to this day how in the world Kinsey could have done what she did. I mean, the way she did it was easy, but still, it’s the fact that she did it at all. She had to have thought about taking her life for weeks, even months, years, and all along she was hiding it from everyone.
I just feel like there had to have been so much more bothering her, to make her go to those extremes. Something deeper – but what? If there was something, she fooled me. I’ve searched her room, talked to her friends, and exhausted just about every last lead imaginable. I mean, at this point, the police station should start to pay me for all the time I’ve put into everything.
Fuck, thinking about her and all of this shit gets me so pissed; I feel like I could lose my mind. I don’t want to be mad at her, but how can I not? She tore our family to shreds. Why didn’t she come to me and tell me that she was feeling that way? We were best friends. Hell, we were twins and had been together since the moment that we were born. I would’ve done anything for her, to help her and get her through those tough times.
What the fuck am I wasting my time for now? It’s too late. She’s gone and I’m not going to take myself down this path again. I’ve done it time and time again. It pains me that I’ve lost her, that she decided to leave it all. Heading to my bathroom, I pop a few pills. Letting the chalkiness dissolve on my tongue. I go back downstairs to wait for them to hit me and check my phone. Arion hasn’t texted me back. I toss it next to me and flip on the TV. Right away there’s a basketball game on. It’s been months since I’ve seen any ball, so I force myself to watch it. Maybe it will give me back my drive or at least help me decide what I’m going to do with my life. I know I can’t live at home and off of my parents forever. Well, I could, but…I don’t want to.
