by LK Collins
She comes in with anger in her eyes, and I say, “I’m so sorry that I was—”
She cuts me off, raising her hand and slams the door. “Arion, save it. Do you have any idea how much I’ve stuck my neck out on the line for you to manage this store?”
I nod my head as she continues. “Well, you’ve sure pissed on me, like you don’t give a shit about this job.”
“I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“You’re right, it won’t. Because this time you’ve left me no choice. My boss came through the drive through this morning and you had no supervisor on duty.”
“But—” I try and cut her off to explain, but she just continues.
“If you could imagine how disappointed he was when your team members said there was no manager here. You know the rules. You have to have a manager on at all times, whether it’s you or your assistant manager. I tried to call you, Arion, and you didn’t answer. You’ve shown disregard for this store and your team lately. Your shift started over an hour ago and I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I can’t have it going on here. You need to handle your personal business and I need you to turn in your keys.”
“Gavina, please. It—”
“Don’t waste your breath. Either turn in your keys or I’ll have the building rekeyed.”
I stare back at her stunned. She just fired me. Reaching into my pocket, I toss my keys and badge on the desk. Then I turn around to leave. Knowing Gavina well, there is no point in arguing with her or trying to make my point. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. As I walk out, I slowly pull my apron over my head and grab my stuff. Glancing back at my employees, they are all staring at me. I can’t bear to look at them or even wave. I get in my car, immediately dreading going home. God, I wish Bain was here.
I’m not sure if I can crawl back into that fucking bed again. I feel like I’ve spent all my time in it lately. Driving home, I’m in shock. I should be crying or upset, I just lost my fucking job. A job that I absolutely loved. But I’m not. The only thing that I feel is numbness. Grabbing my phone, I go to call Bain, I have to. He’ll know what to say and how to help me. What am I thinking? I no longer have that option. God, I’ve really ruined everything in my life.
There’s no way I’m that dependent on him. Or am I? My mind is swirling with a million different scenarios. I got fired, when all along Bain wanted me to quit. I go to call him automatically, when I know I can’t. Jesus, maybe I can’t push him away as easily as I thought. Although part of me wants to…I’m not sure it’s possible.
-Bain-
Whatever happens, please don’t let me get drafted to Phoenix. Pulling onto the freeway, it’s hot as fuck, the organization’s weird, and it’s the last place I can see myself living. Getting in my rental car, I make the quick drive to the hotel and can’t wait to relax. My body is beyond sore. I think working out for these two teams has been an eye opener for me. I don’t know how I’ll make it through Memphis, but I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.
I really shouldn’t be complaining though; it’s all a way to keep my mind busy. A way to focus on things other than the reality that I pissed her off and she left me. Again, I call her. It actually rings. She’s not declining my calls, but she’s still not answering.
Hanging up. I check my messages. James, James, James, my dad, and James again. The one from my dad alarms me and I have to listen to it again.
“Bain, I hate to tell you this while you’re focusing on your workouts, but Anthony pleaded not guilty, this whole thing is going to trial. The prosecutor called me today and said she wants all three of us to testify. Just call me, okay, son?”
I delete his message right away. Fuck that motherfucker, not guilty. The guy fucking took her life; he robbed her from so much. How can he plead not guilty? For the rest of the drive I listen to James’ messages then head straight for my room. Once I’m inside, I call room service for my dinner and boot up my laptop, preparing an email response to James’ messages, like I have been lately. If I keep busy with this shit, it will keep my mind off of the nagging fact that I don’t have Arion and that asshole plead not guilty.
Sitting back, I type away. Then it happens and my heart stops. My whole world comes to a stop as her ring tone comes on my phone. Without even looking at the screen I answer. “Baby?”
She doesn’t respond and I listen for any hint that she’s there. “Arion, are you there?”
I hear her voice. It’s far away, but it’s there. I can tell she’s talking to someone. Waiting, I listen trying to make out what she is saying. Anything at all would help me right now, then she mumbles and the phone sounds muffled. “Arion, please talk to me.”
Finally she does, her voice is timid, almost broken, but it’s her. “Hey.”
“Hi,” I respond. She’s still silent and I ask, “How are you?”
“I’ve been better.”
“I know, baby, me too.”
There’s an awkward silence between us and I say, “I miss you so much.”
Exhaling loudly into the phone, she says, “Listen, Bain, I have a lot going on right now, I don’t think I can do this.”
“Then talk to me, baby, let me help you.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
The line goes silent before I can say anything else. I wonder if she actually meant to call me, as there was truly no point to that conversation. Leaning back in the chair, I exhale and stare at the celling. How did I lose the girl who stole my heart? I need to figure out how to get her back.
_____
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say, shaking hands with the assistant coach of the Grizzlies.
“You too. We can’t thank you enough for coming here.”
“Of course. Thank you for having me.”
“How was your flight?” he asks and I follow him into the huge gym where there are a few guys practicing.
“It was nice. I came in from Phoenix, so it was nice to leave the heat.” After Jim gives me a rundown of the facility, one of the ball guys from the middle of the court passes me the ball. The moment I have it in my hands, I shoot it. I know I’m pretty far behind the three-point line but my range is deep, and draining this in front of all these people would be sweet. As the ball floats through the air, everyone in the room turns and watches it. Bam, nothing but net, baby.
I smirk, thankful that although I’m a mess inside, my game isn’t affected. Over the next hour, I can’t tell you how many balls I sink. I’m definitely in the zone. Then we move on to defense. It’s not my best area, but I’ve been working on it the last few years and it’s improved. Lastly, I get to scrimmage, before meeting with the coaches and the staff.
Quickly, I dry off after my shower and get dressed before sitting down with everyone. Although I never imagined it…I could actually see myself playing here. I know Arion won’t be part of that dream anymore. She’s made that clear and since she’s ignoring me, my gut is telling me to push forward and not look back. I’ve thought about it a lot and wish I knew of a way to make things work with her, but her pain runs very deep and she’s stubborn beyond reason.
Leaving the locker room, I walk down the long, white hall ‘til I reach the office where we are meeting. Knocking once, I head inside.
“Mr. Adams,” their head coach says, welcoming me.
“It’s great to meet you in person, sir.” I shake his and then everyone else’s hand. We all sit down. I’m directly across from the head coach, the assistant coach is next to him, and then the general manager.
“You were quite impressive on the court today.”
“Thank you, sir. Your facility is great.”
“We would love to have you on our team, but you’re projected to be drafted pretty high in the first round. We don’t have a pick ‘til the thirteenth spot. If you could imagine our dilemma, in order to make this work we’re going to have to figure out some sort of deal. So tell us, why are you the guy to go with?”
I’m a litt
le unsure how to answer the question, so I follow my gut.
“I can’t promise you guys anything. Trust me, if I could, then I would. I’ve learned that recently. But what I can tell you is if you pick me, I’ll work my ass off, day in and day out to help you win. I know my skills and they are only going to get better with your coaching staff and the competition. I was born to play this game.”
“Mr. Adams?” the assistant coach asks me.
“Please call me Bain.”
“Bain, I have to be frank with you. It concerns me that you didn’t finish playing your senior year. I’ve heard what happened to your sister, and I’m sorry. But with that, there are quite a few mixed rumors that I’m not sure I want on this team.”
“Thank you and believe me, I respect that. However, I had to make a choice this year. I lost a very important person in my life and was in no shape to be on the court. I knew if I was to force my playing, it would hurt me more than taking a step back, my parents needed me at home so that’s what I needed to do. I knew there was a chance of it jeopardizing my chances in the draft, but ultimately my family is number one. With the time off, I did a lot of soul searching and now know that I was born to play ball. I need it, plain and simple.”
The three men look at each other and nod their heads. “Well, that was just the answer we were looking for, son. Can we convince you to stay the rest of the week and show you around our beautiful city?”
“I’m flying back tonight, but talk to my manager. I’m not sure what he has booked for me, if it can work, I’d love too.”
“You’re a bright young man, Bain,” the head coach says and then continues, “I was hesitant in bringing you here, but after speaking with you and seeing you play, I’m going to do everything I can to make Memphis your home.”
“Thank you all for having me. I’m looking forward to that possibility.”
We exchange our goodbyes and I leave. Calling Arion the moment I’m outside, I need to talk to her. I can’t have this burden any longer. My life is moving fast and I want her by my side – I need her by my side.
-Arion-
I think I’ve flipped through the channels on the TV about a gazillion times. Aubrey, God love her, ran to get us some dinner while I sulk in my jobless and Bainless existence. I know I should talk to him and work past things. But I can’t. I just can’t. I fucking can’t. Yes, something is seriously fucking wrong with me and I know it.
Finally, I land on the news. It’s the only thing that seems somewhat interesting. It’s sad, but dammit, so am I. Rolling to my side, I seem to study the news anchor more than what he is saying and notice how he resembles Bain. They are both tall, have short brown hair, and I bet this guy has tattoos hidden underneath his suit.
Aubrey comes through the door, taking my mind off the news. She lifts the pizza box and smiles at me. “I got your favorite.”
“Thanks, babe,” I say turning the TV down.
“Of course.” She sets it down and grabs two beers from the refrigerator and some paper towels. “Did you miss me?” she asks jokingly.
I nod my head; she always makes things better, so much better. I haven’t eaten much, lately and finally feel like I can stomach something, thank God. She sits down and we each grab a slice, watching the news. That’s one of the things about Aubrey, she doesn’t pry or make me get deep with things, she lets me just be.
“Holy shit, did you hear about this, A?” she asks as the news anchor starts to talk about a prisoner of war. “I meant to tell you yesterday, it’s been all over the news.”
“In news across the US, thirty-one-year-old Darren Spars finally returned home to his quiet town of Kittredge, Colorado after being held captive for almost a year. Spars was missing and presumed dead, before bravely escaping from captivity in Afghanistan. Authorities aren’t saying much about how or why he was taken. Darren has since asked for privacy, while he readjusts to life at home with his wife and three children. In other news…” The reporter trails off into another story and I can’t believe how lucky that man is.
“Pretty crazy, huh?”
I can’t answer her as I’m lost in my own crazy thoughts. My mind immediately goes to Nate. God, I wish that could’ve been him. But it can’t and never will be. They found enough DNA evidence among human remains from his last mission site to change his status from “missing in action” to “killed in action.” I just have to accept the truth and move forward, but it’s hard not to want to wish the truth away.
Accepting that Nate is gone forever solidifies my feelings for Bain. As much as I want to fight them…I can’t. Not anymore. He’s so good to me and I really could see a future with him. I’ve sat here miserable for almost a week acting like I don’t care, fighting the roller coaster of emotions that are going through me. When really, it all boils down to one simple fact. I’m fucking in love with him. Looking down at my uneaten pizza and sunken in stomach, I know I’m really empty without him.
When we are together, we both thrive. We can live and we can breathe. I don’t want a fairy tale, that’s just not me. I want Bain. I want to take each breath with him by my side. The loss of Nate has scarred me, but I need to push past that pain and look at the bigger picture of my life. God gave me an amazing gift in Bain and it’s up to me on how I proceed.
With tears in my eyes, I sulk into the couch. Aubrey sets her pizza down and wraps me in her arms. I lean into her and let it all out. Every twisted, pent up emotion I’ve been holding on to. Every ounce of pain, love, anger, hurt, regret, sadness. All of it. I let it all bleed out of my eyes. Through my sobs, I hear his name, “Bain Adams made quite an impression in Memphis earlier in the week. Now the Grizzlies are in talks with the Suns to make a big trade in order to secure the fourth pick in this year’s quickly looming NBA draft. The trade is rumored to include Garrett Jones and Paul Rod, as well as the Grizzlies’ thirteenth pick and a second round pick in next year’s draft. Where will the ever-talented Adams end up? It’s looking like Tennessee could soon be his home. I’ll have live coverage of his second workout tomorrow in Tennessee. I’m Reagan Reynolds for Channel Two Sports.”
Both Aubrey and I stare at the TV. Bain is moving on with his life. He’s going to get drafted somewhere and move away without me, unless I make this right. Wiping the tears off of my cheeks with the back of my hand, I whisper, “Tennessee?”
“You better call him.”
I shake my head and get off the couch, finally following my heart for the first time since all of this shit started.
“No.” Walking into my room, I grab my backpack off the top shelf of my closet and throw some clothes inside.
Aubrey walks in and asks, “What are you doing?”
“I need to see him. Aubrey, I have to fix this. Will you drive me to the airport?”
“Arion, are you fucking crazy? You don’t even have a plane ticket, or a job to pay for one for that matter.”
Turning around I pull on a pair of jeans and look at her. “I can book my flight in the car on a credit card. Please drive me.”
She nods her head and walks out of my room. With my backpack crammed full of God only knows what and my wallet in hand, I walk into the living room where my best friend is waiting for me with her car keys and iPad. She glances at me briefly, then looks back down at the iPad and says, “There’s a 7:15 flight. Depending on traffic, we might be able to make it.”
“How do you know it’s the right airport?”
“I picked the one closest to Memphis.”
“Thank you, girl, you’re the best.” She hands me the iPad and we head out, getting into her little sports car. For a split second, I doubt doing this. It’s crazy. But being brazen is what brought us together. As I select a one-way ticket, I couldn’t be surer of the decision. I could call him now, but everything I need to say I have to say in person, my heart is telling me that he’s there – so I follow it.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Aubrey asks me.
“I know it is. Aub
rey, I…I love him. I love him more than anything in this world. I’m done playing this tough card and being worried about getting my heart hurt, because you know what? All of this hurts, and being without him is unbearable. If he turns me down, the pain can’t be any worse than what I’m going through now.”
“Okay, girl. I love you no matter what happens and will be here for you.”
“I know that, thank you. You know, Aubrey, I followed my heart with Nate and I wouldn’t change a thing looking back. That’s why I’m doing the same with Bain. I don’t want to live life with regrets.”
“I’m so happy for you. I wish I had someone like him, you’re making the right choice A.”
Aubrey weaves in and out of traffic, driving a bit erratically in true Jersey fashion. Glancing at the clock, I can’t help but worry that I’ll miss the flight. If I do, there are others. I can’t go there now and start worrying before anything’s happened.
With thirty-seven minutes ‘til departure, the airport is now in sight.
“Please call me when you land,” Aubrey says.
“I will, thank you.”
“Of course, A. Good luck.”
She stops in front of the departures for United and I’m thankful that the outside isn’t too busy. We exchange a quick hug and I bolt. The automatic double doors open like they were made for me. Looking around, I spot the electronic kiosks, pull my phone out to get the confirmation from my email, and check in as fast as I can. This is way better than dealing with the lines of people waiting to check their bags.
Once my boarding pass prints, I have thirty-one minutes to get through security and board the plane. I take off sprinting across the terminal. I opt against a train and just run, my legs moving me as fast as I can go because there is no way I can miss this flight. I have to make it. My heart is pounding, all because I have to get to Bain. Once I finally reach the terminal, I check my ticket again and start to frantically look around for gate seven. Seven, seven, seven. Fuck, where is it? Then I spot it tucked in the back corner. An attendant calls over the intercom as I run with all my might. “Calling all passengers for flight 274 to Memphis. This is your final boarding call.”
